All Comments on 'Edda Pt. 01'

timeskips

the bane of all stories

bah

A new Matt Moreau.... only a 100 times more cuckier! Are all u kiwis as disgustingly cucky? At least we aussies have Vandemonium

A lot of writing for a 1*

Unlike most of the authors other stories, the cheating wife in this one does not have any particular mental issues (apart from being a supreme narcissist with a fetish for German sausage). I didn't like the character at the start and disliked her even more at the end, but her main claim to fame is that she was hit by the slut ray. For years she had been happily married to Martin, they have two lovely kids, but then she meets a pompous little Teutonic prick who she drops her drawers for and invites him to ram his weenie up her arse. Of course, this happens every day in the Martian slut-ray world but it's not a valid reason in most of Rakiura's tales.

~

Having said that, I thought the story was engaging and it held my interest all the way through, but I also never had much empathy for Martin in the end either. I understand his drive to prove himself a better architect than the Teutonic bearer of the shit-covered bratwurst, but to finally visit his daughter when he's 55 is a bit much. How many years has he been out of contact? Who cares, and the story may have had more impact if he finally turns up when he's 82 only to find Edda strapped in a wheelchair with mung and drool dribbling down her chin. He proclaims his undying love despite the cruel way she cucked him, and then, overcome with love and excitement, he karks it in front of her. His lifeless body collides with the wheelchair, which then flips on it's side and bursts into flames (it's like a Hollywood car in this regard) and incinerates them both. Job done!

~

Rakiura, despite my comment above I liked the story and like your writing, just not this one so much. Thanks.

I tried, I really did. The writing was so prolix, the story so meandering, the characters so indecisive and weird, I quit on page five. You really need to tighten it up. I can't read that.

Found myself scratching my head wondering who was talking in My Dutch Kiwi pt1. You introduced several characters in the beginning and it wasn't clear which one was talking in pt1. I gave it up at that point. The reader shouldn't have to chase the information. No read, no score.

An exceptional good story. Cannot understand anyone giving this story less than 5*

Sadly the ending really ruined a reasonable story.

This is a woman with no respect for her husband! And probably not much respect for herself. Let's go down the list.

She's willing to have anal sex for her career with someone she just met. She has a child with another man and passes it off as her husband's. She has him watching her lover's child while she goes off for a romantic rendevous. She FAVORS her lover's child over her other children!!

She brings her lover to her husband's office so he can humiliate him. She cuts her husband off from sex, is willing to shave, and even have ANOTHER baby with her lover. (Presumably for her husband to raise.) And she doesn't defend him when her lover disrespects him.

Then she gets in an accident likely caused by her lover. Her HUSBAND drops everything to care for her for years. Then when she sees the lover again much later, she agrees on the SPOT to sleep with him and likely renew their affair. She allows her lover to insult her husband when making their plans. And she allows him to have sex with her in their bed!!

It's insane. Everything mentioned so far is horrible and disgusting.

But for me, the piece de resistance was she had so little respect for her husband that she put or allowed her lover to put a picture of him by the bed so it seemed like he was WATCHING them have sex!!! I could not believe that! Not only did she not feel guilty, but she was actually aroused at her betrayal and her husband's humiliation. I don't see where any couple (who's not into the hotwife/cuckold scenario) could have a loving relationship after that.

I do fault the husband for abandoning his kids. Though I realize he was devastated. I wish he could have been in their lives sooner.

But when it comes to Edda. NO. Just NO. I'm sure she'll try to say she was under her lover's control. But it doesn't wash. SHE made these choices. She was not content to just have an affair but had to humiliate him as much as possible. I honestly don't see how she could live with her self.

I'm big on forgiveness and reconciliation. But when I read that thing about his picture by the bed, despite ALL she had already done and ALL the loving things her husband did for her. I really was like, wow! The selfishness, egotism, and cruelty was astounding.

I would like to see what kind of explanation she can give. But man, she really destroyed her family for her ambition and lust it seems. Things aren't black and white in life. But this woman was pretty bad.

Way too far over the edge where "suspension of disbelief" prevents the reader from falling into the Bullshit Chasm. Her behavior, as ANON just posted on at length is so unbelievable, as is MC's reaction to and manipulation by, that the BS Chasm may actually exceed the depth of the Challenger Deep.

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While this fits into your normal "plot theme" and "conflict style", this is NOT your usual credible and believable stories. Your characters are always involved with mildly or moderately batshit crazy women, but this one is psychotically extreme, as is MC's dealings with her.

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As the old flight instructor used to say, "If you are heading towards the ground, pull back on the stick." In Part 02, you have that opportunity. In any event, I will stick with this to the end, as you're one of my faves!

To be honest I got lost. All the run around had me wondering what the hell was going on. Maybe it was the "british" sounding in my ears as I read it. I thought New Zealanders were more straight forward. I will try to read this again...later. maybe it will make sense. Started off good. anyway.

So confusing. Who is talking? You write men that are very weak and women who despise their husband's. The kids are always punished in these tropes. Why? Your stories are too wordy with irrelevant tangents.

Engaging. Wonder if lofty morals come easier to us ordinary mortals with fewer opportunities. Annnd… if exceptional beauty corrupts?

Tour de Force!

Do you never get tired of writing cowardly men? Martin is pathetic; no wonder Edda gave herself to a stronger man, even an evil one. Women are not drawn to virtue, they are drawn to strength, and power. Virtuous women are drawn to strong virtuous men. Edda was, above all, a woman without virtue, without a soul, and a prostitute. She found in herself only one thing of market value and she traded it for what she could get. She got Martin, signed, sealed, delivered; she owned him. He could not give her any more than his complete devotion and adoration, and she wanted more. She thought she could get it from Weber. For Edda her relationship with Martin was a game of Go Fish with a child. Weber was a constant challenge, an equal in the ruthless pursuit of MORE: money, image, power, sex. Edda was a narcissistic monster, the embodiment of an evil woman, and Martin was too cowardly to confront her, and slay her, not even for the sake of his children or his own sanity.

Martin got what he deserved. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life make a true woman your wife. Edda was all form and no substance, all promise and no deliverance. Martin got what he married, and it serves him right. He made a fool's bargain with a particularly beautiful chimera. I suspect it happens everyday. Darwin laughs.

Thanks for the effort.

I found it interesting. Edda gave him a clear vision of what he could expect from her day one. He liked the beauty and the challenge and took on the task of taming her. It was both rewarding and a destroyer of his life. I suppose in part 2 he will once again mount that bucking bronco.

A very good storyline, but it’s extremely slow-paced. Edda, for her part, is a nightmare.

I am sick and tired of these goodwife suddenly with no indication whatever as to being submissive goes totally slavish for some arrogant asshole. It sure seems like these authors have nothing whatever to say so they reach deep into the bag of LW offensive clichés, grab a couple, and then pump them up into 5-6-7 pages of tripe. Good writing, excellent writing. Just a waste on empty crap clichés.

LWlurker

Mostly good.

I liked the architectural part

and our intruduction into New Zealand,s wilderness and culture.

But this Martin guy was a flake.

On a first date finding the girl making out with another guy,

would've stopped a normal guy from making a second date.

But not the wimp Martin.

The second thing I noticed was there was nothing

on the divorce or Martin moving to USA.

All in all, 4 out of 5 from me, on this first part.

depressing patheticism. A real victim.

The great noble cuck. Let's hope that in the second part Weber father's more children with Edda and then leaves her and then our cucky boi gets another chance at love with his slutty ex-wife her love children. Coz you know, He WoUlD bE bEtTeR wItH hEr ThAn WiThOuT hEr!! That's what should happen in a "realistic" story.

Read Dorothea

Edda had mental issues. The second betrayal test led to divorce is beyond hideous.