Edge of the Garden Pt. 01 of 02

"Oh wow, I haven't been in one of these death traps in 20 years," Rani Menon gave her girls' teacher a cheeky smile as she plopped down beside him on the long yellow school bus they were taking for their class field trip.

"I'm in one of these death traps regularly," Hayden Stahl smiled back. He had folded his 5'11" frame into one of the front seats and tried to move as far over as possible to give Rani space. His dark blond hair peeked out of his toque, and he blinked his emerald eyes as the frigid February air threatened to dry them out again.

"Don't worry about the lack of seatbelts," he joked. "Parents and teachers always sit near the front to catch the kids when they go hurtling forward."

"I knew there was a reason," Rani smirked as the bus lurched ahead. Hayden stood up to do one final head count and wrote down on his clipboard the number of kids on the bus, plus two for himself and Rani. She was the lone parent willing to accompany him and his third-graders to a farm in minus-10 Celsius.

It was a good half-hour drive to a family farm that raised animals, and Hayden didn't want to admit he was glad. He found Rani to be a fun and funny parent who was involved in her twin daughters' education--and he looked forward to their chats during pick-up and drop-off at school.

"How's your blushing bride?" Rani asked. "Still in the stage where you're going at it like bunnies?" Hayden gasped out a laugh and turned around to see if any of the kids had heard. "Do you really think they're going to be paying attention to our boring grown-up conversations?" Rani grinned. "They can't even hear us with all that shrieking back there."

"It would be highly unprofessional for me to discuss my personal life with you or any other parent," Hayden grew hot under his winter jacket, trying to bite his lip to prevent another smile. He wished he wasn't such an introvert, especially when faced with someone as outgoing as Rani.

"I'm going to take the pinkness of your cheeks as a big yes," Rani smiled. "I mean, it's only been what, six months? That's exactly what you should be doing."

Hayden looked away, still chuckling. Rani's unassuming beauty was intimidating to him, but her easy and open way of talking was disarming. She was just 5'3" but had a big personality which was only rivaled by her caramel skin, chocolate eyes, and silky black-brown hair that fell to the middle of her back.

"So how's everything at home?" Hayden asked, desperate to change the subject before he went full-on red.

"It would be highly unprofessional for me to discuss my personal life with you or any other teacher, Mr. Stahl," Rani responded with mock curtness as Hayden grinned, "but since you asked, I have yet again been reminded by my doctor that I'm getting old."

"Aren't you a couple of years younger than me?"

"Oooh, right, open mouth, insert foot," Rani cringed. "But what I meant was, I think I'm inheriting my dad's high blood pressure issues." Hayden was surprised.

"Really? But you're only 32. And I don't think you smoke, and you seem pretty fit."

"Mr. Stahl, I'm happily married!" Rani teased him. "Nah, but seriously, sometimes these things just happen, especially if you're genetically predisposed like South Asians are with heart issues. My BP was elevated even when I was pregnant with the girls. Maybe I'll start donating blood again in an attempt to artificially lower it."

"Hey, I donate regularly too," Hayden said. "You used to and you stopped?"

"Yeah," Rani's lips still curved slightly upward in a smile but there was a twinge of discomfort in her voice. "It wasn't a health thing or anything. I volunteered with Canadian Blood Services in high school and then started giving every two months with my mom when I turned 16. I think I got up to about 30 donations on my card."

"That's really something when you were that young," Hayden offered, wondering what had happened.

"My mom and I donated together at the same clinic and the nurses came to know us," she explained. "Then when I was pregnant with the girls, she was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer and she was gone in a few months." Rani's voice was still aloof but she continued to avoid Hayden's gaze.

"Even after I stopped breastfeeding the kids, I couldn't go back and have to tell the nurses it was just me from now on. They were so sweet and they loved seeing my mom and I together." She shrugged. "I know it's a stupid reason to not do it but--"

"No, no, it's understandable," Hayden said softly. Rani wrinkled her nose.

"Is it, really, though?" she asked. "To not do something so important because I didn't want to have an awkward conversation with casual acquaintances?"

"I avoid doing most things for that very reason," Hayden replied. He was glad he was able to elicit a laugh out of Rani at that point, but also a bit disappointed that the bus had pulled off the highway and was nearing the rural area that housed the farm.

"Look," he added, "sometimes there are blood drives at the school or next door at the high school. I'll let you know when. I'll even drop by if I'm on lunch." Rani nodded, glancing over at him and then straight ahead again.

"Looks like we're close," she said, peering past him and out the window at a large barn in the middle of a field. "Same as last time? I take the front, you take the back, and the kids are all sandwiched between us?"

"Same as last time," Hayden winked.

The farm wasn't just animals, Rani was pleasantly surprised to find. There was a lot to it, including pumpkin and apple picking in the Autumn, and hay rides and tapping maple trees for sap, which they got to do that day.

Hayden couldn't help but smile from his own horse-drawn wagon watching Rani laughing with a cartload of kids in hers. Both adults sat on the back edge of the cart and kept the kids on the inside for safety, but Rani's arm shot out protectively toward the kids sitting beside her every time they hit a bump.

As they climbed back on to the bus several hours later, Hayden couldn't remember the last time he'd had so much fun despite having done the same farm trip with his class every year over almost a decade of teaching. He caught Rani doing her own head count and smiled.

"You know they're not paying you for this?" he said, confident every kid was there as he'd just counted them on the way to the bus.

"Imagine what we'd have to pay if we left a kid under a haystack," she replied, boarding the bus herself and raising her eyebrows at Hayden on the way up. When they finally reached the school again, he made sure to catch up to her as she was gathering her daughters to drive them home.

"Thanks for coming out today," he told her. "I know you took time off work for this."

"Please, Mr. Stahl," Rani waved him off. "This was fun for me. I'd rather be hanging out with you and these guys all day than back at my stodgy office." Her eyes lingered just a second longer than she intended on his bright green ones before she felt the tug of a child's hand on her mitten.

"Bye, Mr. Stahl, we'll see you tomorrow," Rani's daughter Lavanya waved.

"Bye, Lavanya," he said, breaking his gaze from Rani and looking down at her and her sister, Payal. "Sorry to say tomorrow's not going to be as fun as today. Don't forget there's a spelling test."

Hours later in the early evening, Rani was uploading pictures of the day from her phone to e-mail Hayden when Dhanush walked into their bedroom.

"Hey, baby," she jumped up from her seat and kissed her husband.

"Hey, how was the day?" he kissed her back while loosening his tie.

"A lot of fun," she told him, gesturing toward the computer. "Take a look at the pictures." Dhanush sat down at the desk and browsed through.

"That's their teacher?" he asked. "That's Mr. Stahl? He's a good-looking guy. I wonder what he's doing teaching third grade. Probably couldn't cut it elsewhere."

"Hey, that's not fair," Rani defended Hayden, "Teacher's college is as difficult a grad school program as anything else."

"Really?" Dhanush laughed. "Tell that to my master's in computer science. Playing with kids all day would be a vacation compared to being a software developer." He got up from the desk and resumed changing his clothes. Slightly miffed, Rani was about to respond that he barely had the patience to handle two kids let alone 25 when he continued.

"Anyway, I'm glad you had fun today. Why haven't I seen this Stahl before now?" he wondered out loud, going into the walk-in closet.

"Maybe because you missed the kids' parent-teacher conference in November?" Rani offered. "And because you don't get out of the car when you do drop-off and pick-up whereas I do?"

"Yeah, that has to be it," Dhanush said. "The kids are old enough to find the car, you know," he said.

"I don't want them to fall when it's this icy out," she said. "And I don't trust them walking around in the parking lot with other cars moving around." She sent the e-mail full of the day's pictures to Hayden, then closed the laptop.

"Anyway, you said you were going to cook tonight, right?" she confirmed. "If you're doing that, I'm going to help the girls write out their Valentine's Day cards for their class." Dhanush snorted.

"Why do the schools in this country indoctrinate kids into believing in these ridiculous consumer holidays?" he asked rhetorically.

"Baby, relax," Rani said, unimpressed. It was only the millionth time they were having some version of this conversation. "It's just for fun. Buying a pack of classroom cards cost me three bucks at the dollar store, and it's just a small exercise in kindness. They write something nice to each child in their class."

"And this is how Hallmark holidays are created," he replied, putting on a sweatshirt. "We never buy useless things in India for celebrations."

"Excuse me?" Rani countered. "Firecrackers were never originally part of Divali. Divali was all about supporting poor artisans who crafted clay lamps and sold them in the market. All we're actually supposed to buy are those diyas. Fireworks weren't around until the Mughal kings made them popular but now every Indian and their grandpa considers them a must for Divali."

"Yeah, but fireworks are a need," Dhanush grinned. "Silly cards aren't."

"You're lucky I'm not the kind of woman who really cares about Valentine's Day," Rani said, sitting on the bed. "What would you do if I wanted you to buy me flowers that day?" She wasn't even sure her husband heard her, as he was washing his face.

"I'd give you twenty bucks and tell you you're free to go out and buy whatever flowers you wanted," Dhanush winked at her, picking up his towel. Rani genuinely didn't care about Valentine's Day but she found herself bristling nevertheless.

"Sorry," he continued on his way out of the bedroom, "but I'm not going to be one of those guys standing in line for flowers just because the calendar told me to."

What about any other day of the year? Rani thought in the empty room.

***********

"You sure picked a fun day to do this, my friend," Rani said to Hayden on one of the last weekdays of June that same year, as she and her daughters approached him and some of their classmates in the park that afternoon.

"I didn't pick when the last day of school would be," he retorted, his smile broadening on his face as he bounced a soccer ball between his hands. "And I definitely didn't know it would be 30 degrees today. Payal and Lavanya, is your mom actually complaining about being able to play in the park instead of sitting inside and doing school?"

"I'm totally complaining," Rani confirmed. "You guys all have your water bottles, right?" she asked the few kids around them. "If you don't, I have a few extra right here." She shook the tote bag she carried. "And you're all wearing sunscreen?"

"Uhh, no, I don't need it, mom," replied Lavanya.

"Sweetie, I know we're all some shade of brown here," Rani told her before glancing up at Hayden. "Okay, I know most of us are some shade of brown here." Hayden put his fingers to his mouth and softly chuckled.

"Twenty of these things be-long to-gether," Rani sang the old Sesame Street tune, looking around at the class entirely comprised of children of colour. "Twenty of these things are kind of the same..." Hayden erupted in full laughs and turned around toward the playground in a futile attempt to hide it.

"But anyway," Rani continued pulling a spray-on bottle of sunscreen from her tote, "When I was a teenager, I made the mistake of thinking because I was Indian, I wouldn't need sunscreen either. That I was just dark enough to not burn. And then I went from light brown to flaming red all across my shoulders within a couple of hours, and it stung."

"Why weren't you wearing a shirt?" another child asked. Rani grinned at Hayden's raised eyebrows.

"It was a tank top with spaghetti straps," she replied. An image of an 18-year-old Rani in a flimsy tank top flickered across Hayden's mind but he brushed it aside, trying to concentrate on her story.

"But I was lucky that a bunch of my friends at the time were white so like, five of them each pulled out a bottle of sunscreen and gave it to me. Which is what I'm going to offer you now. Two sprays and you're done, how about it?" Once one kid offered up their arms, the rest fell into line.

"Why were your friends white?" Payal asked. Rani pretended to think.

"Well... I assume they were born that way."

Hayden did a head count of the kids who had already assembled, grinning and shaking his head at the casual way Rani had with children.

"Okay, serious answer," she explained while holding out Payal's hand and shaking the sunscreen bottle. "We all liked the same stuff. We played in the school orchestra together, we liked the same books, we were in the same classes. Skin colour doesn't really matter when choosing your friends, as long as you're similar people." She sprayed her daughter's arms, then turned to the next child to do the same.

"Did you ever have a white boyfriend?" Lavanya probed, making Hayden look up from his clipboard. Rani stopped spraying and gave her a wry smile.

"Want me to show you guys how to kick a soccer ball halfway down the field?" she countered. "I used to play goal and I brought my cleats today." She lifted up her foot to show off her spiky soles, then aimed a toe between Hayden's feet where the soccer ball sat on the grass.

She popped it out from between his heels before he even had a chance to look down, then caught it with her toes on the other side of him and went racing down the field with it to the goalposts about 50 yards away.

Hayden watched in awe as the kids chased after her, wondering why Rani never became a teacher herself. He saw her stop partway down the field and pass the ball to one of the kids, then instruct them all to pass it between each other in a circle.

There's no way she's going to kick that ball all the way back here, he thought, squinting as she stretched her arms and legs. She's tiny and in her 30s. There's no way.

Rani finally motioned for a child to kick her the ball again, then gestured with her arms for everyone to give her space. Then she pointed to Hayden and waved, which all the kids imitated. Holding the ball in her left hand, she took three long strides forward, then blasted the ball high into the air where it seemed to disappear for several moments.

"Holy shit," Hayden swore aloud to himself while looking to the sky, before quickly glancing around to make sure none of the kids decided to hang out with him instead of playing in the field with Rani. He lost the ball in the midday Sun until he finally caught sight of it rapidly descending to earth at which point he scrambled out of the way.

When it bounced and then bounced again just mere feet from him, Rani held her arms up in triumph. She left the kids to play in the field and started her relaxed stroll back to the park gazebo where Hayden stood in disbelief.

"Bet you thought I couldn't do it, huh?" she said, slightly out of breath and reaching for her water bottle.

"I never doubted you for a second," he lied, as she sat down on the bench. He sat down beside her and allowed her a minute to rest, absentmindedly looking down at his clipboard.

"So, did you?" he finally asked. She cocked an eyebrow as she swallowed a mouthful of water and shrugged at him. "Have a white boyfriend? I mean, I think Lavanya deserves an answer to her question." Rani quickly swallowed before bursting out in laughter.

"First of all, Lavanya's out there, not here," she replied. "Secondly... yes. Twice."

"But you married a guy of your own background," Hayden said, even more intrigued by Rani than he had been before that day. He wanted to ask her what instrument she played in the orchestra and what books she'd liked in high school. But if he had to pick a question without risking coming off as a creep--a married creep at that, he reminded himself--this was the one he was going with.

"As I said to the kids, you can't pick your friends based on skin colour," she told him before taking another sip of her water. "That includes who you fall in love with."

***Two years later***

Rani stared up at the darkened ceiling of her bedroom trying to concentrate, the cold air against her naked body making it none the easier. Dhanush lay beside her with one arm propping up his head, his eyes closed and his fingers dancing roughly against her clitoris. Rani found herself thankful he couldn't see the discomfort flashing across her face despite the sounds she made to encourage him.

It's not a penis, she thought, wondering if she was starting to feel pain or numbness, but getting more discouraged by the second that she would actually achieve an orgasm this time. She wished he would tease her, start slow, and then build up the way she did when she went down on him. He loved it. How did he not think to mimic it when it was her turn?

But it's been like five minutes; he's going to wonder. She considered faking it just to get this awkwardness overwith when Dhanush fell back against the mattress, grunting and shaking out his cramped hand.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's okay," she quickly told him. "It doesn't happen every time and that's okay. I'm having fun anyway." They lay wordlessly together after Rani draped her arm across his chest, desperately wishing for the fervor she'd felt for him when they were newlyweds 11 years ago. Deep down, however, she knew what she really yearned for was the fervor he'd once felt for her.

She wanted her husband to manhandle her the way he once had in their first apartment together, where they moved in after their wedding only two weeks upon graduating university. Back then, Dhanush exhibited a passion that never made her wonder the way she did now if he was just servicing her.

She wished he might get the hint one of these days that her body was changing and that fingering her the way he did when he took her virginity may not do the trick anymore.

"How do you want me?" she finally whispered when it crossed her mind his erection might be waning.

"Up to you," he replied. She felt a twinge of disappointment but pulled Dhanush atop her and smiled up at him. Despite their glitches, she knew she loved him and there would never be anyone else for her.

Dhanush smiled back and kissed his wife, then pushed into her. Rani winced a bit, noting that her climaxing ahead of time would usually make this last part a lot easier, but thought her husband would enjoy the added friction. She waited until he pressed past the initial burn, then relaxed a bit when she felt herself lubricating. Rani moaned, loving the weight of her husband on top of her.

"Shhhh, you don't want to wake the kids," he hushed her upon starting to pump.