All Comments on 'Eejit'

I enjoyed that. Thank you.

The broken logic here is vile beyond belief. You stepped way over a line alone with a "love" inspired brutal beating intend to draw blood while the victim silently screams. He's so broken hell step Iver that line but then treat his in good friend like a dumb whore? There are line, even with cheating slots, and you don't stay honorable by acting that way.

It's pretty clear you are pandering to the worst of the BTB crowd with the gang rapes, rationalized threeways and and bloodbath, so let me just say congratulations. You will fit right on woith the bigots who hate easterners, but cheer on wife beating rape and murder.

Disgusting. Thanks for waiting until the end to sneak that in.

I will score you a 5, but in my humble opinion, bringing in a third person for the ending was wrong. cheating is cheating. threesomes are cheating.

5*

She didn’t change she just drug him down with her. She didn’t get the judge, so she went after the model, and sexed him into it. Cheating slut

There were actually no rapes at all in this story. And a few trickles of blood hardly constitute a bloodbath. But, despite the lack of these, I hope you enjoyed it anyway.

Bringing in a third party was mainly to help them stay together, although with benefits for all three of them.

But, the story is what it is. I set up the situation, and despite my best efforts, the characters all wander off and do their own thing. I just describe the journey.

Great read

What a great story. I was incredibly relieved that Raven didn't fuck another guy and adding Eithne into the mix at the end was inspired!

This is a great story and you should be proud of it. I know I’ll come back and read again, and again. Parts of it disturbed me, and that’s a good thing, the best stories need to be thought provoking. Is the introduction of a second lover a good idea? In this case it does work, at first I wasn’t sure.

Andyhm

It's an interesting story but I've got issues with the plot. Did he really ever solve anything other than finally discovered she is a submissive? Most all Engineering PhD's are eccentric in their own little worlds. Yet, she was able to corrupt his morals by adding another sex slave (behind his back - to lessen her guilt - in a ruse to keep her straight)???

My biggest peeve in this story, for me, is his constant derogatory reference naming of his daughter; Hellspern, Demon Queen, etc - those are NOT loving terms but that of an overly smart ass idiot. It may be quaint to raze the readers with it occasionally - but it was a constant derogatory name not Beth. I always wondered if he secretly hated is daughter?!? 4*

Wow! Wow-whee!

5-star & Favorite

Should be “Romance” irregardless aborted rape in beginning.

This was a great story. I couldn't put it down. When I got to the Epilogue I had to force myself to finish reading. I found it forced, and out of character. Six stars went down to three.

Thank you, I really enjoyed this and was drawn into the 'Strictly Curse' and how he would deal with it, and was pleasantly surprised that he was able to 'rescue' his wife.

I enjoyed 99% of this. The last couple of pages certainly channeled Robert Heinlein, with brilliant and beautiful and oh so enlightened people fucking other beautifully enlightened and sexually liberated people in a way that thumbs its nose at us plebians watching through the plate glass windows while being held at bay by beefy security guards who indulge themselves in their off duty hours with the less morally discriminating of our wives and daughters. Yuck. But now that's out of the way.

That was the one percent. The other ninety nine percent was well written, well thought out and constructed. This is overwritten, and I thank you for that because it was a pleasure to read- not so overdone as to be distasteful but enough to be fun to read. As regards moral scruples and an unwillingness to succumb to an inane and directionless hedonism, I was on board with your hero from the beginning, and I felt great sympathy for your heroine as well, "eejit" though she clearly was. Your own style and even your sympathies shifted about two thirds of the way through. It's like reading two different tales melded somewhat imperfectly along the way. I actually like that too. I think it fits.

We are taught these days in memes and insipid popular culture to love ourselves above all others but that really does make for piss-poor marriages, partnerships and relationships. What the fuck ever happened to loving someone more than life itself? I think that deep down that's what your story is about. What kind of person loves fame, glamor and adulation more than a stalwart spouse or the love of your child? It occurs to me that open sexual relationships and a penitent cheating spouse willing to indulge our every sexual whim are a poor substitute for loyalty and sacrifice.

Your story really made me think hard on these things I've mentioned. Thank you! This is a fine story and I'm grateful to you for sharing it. An easy five stars. I'd have given you ten if it were possible.

Too long

Full of emotion and angst.

So when he knows his wife is entering a phase for adultery and betrayal, he goes along with it because she won't listen anyway? But after she commits the adultery and betrayal then its OK to express his objections and warn her he will leave the marriage, and now, after committing the exciting and thrilling adultery, she won't just keep doing it, but instead will stop cold turkey? In fact she'll even supply him with some extra pussy as compensation?

And when he asks her what she would do if he cheated she says she would kill the bitch. But then she goes out and arranges for the extra woman to not just fuck him, but to become his lover, bear his children, and become a permanent part of his life, as a second wife?

And how long before the daughter, who figured out her mother was becoming a whore, on television, will also figure out that her father is now the whore, displacing her mother with another woman, and making her share her family with half siblings?

This isn't fiction, its science fiction. These characters are not human.

But thanks for the effort. Great energy, totally unbelievable. Is that what you intended?

Congratulations

...until the end when he ended up in a threesome. I wonder what would have happened if he had stuck to his moral code and told his wife "No thank you..." To having a threesome? It just seemed so out of character for him.

Great writing. Some good one liners. Memorable characters.....flopped at the end.

All in all good. Please keep writing.

Shit, I inadvertently posted this comment on 'A Very Unhappy Birthday To Me' instead of here where it belonged so if it gets posted there this is why and if it doesn't thanks to the moderators.

Had an assumption of where this story was going to go, and it did more or less as far as the dance show went. Even the 7 year old Hellspawn saw it coming. I really enjoyed the writing but the ending just didn't work for me, it was just too out of character for Michael with the way he felt about infidelity. Frankly no matter how much he loved Raven I can't see him being able to marry her after she admitted to pulling a train with 30 guys, airtight and all. Then again I can't see any normal woman being able to handle that many, all ducks in a row. Besides what guy would even want to be even number 5 in that line, I can't even want to try to imagine what cums after slimy thirds. I may have missed it but did anyone have a case of condoms in their back pocket? But as she was open and honest about it as well as it happening before he even knew her I guess I can accept that he was able to. But there is no way that it wouldn't be lurking in the back of his mind. This was well explained in the beginning of the story when he was trying to deal with her dropping the dance show bomb on him. He did have an interesting way of bringing her to her senses even though it did cause him some public humiliation, it would have been a lot worse if the videos had shown up out there in the public view. Seems to me that Loving Wives would have been a better genre though, unless the Non-Consent was referring to him. But as the last line of Part 4 said "Welcome to my universe!"

I'm no expert on dialects but had a great time with her brand of the English language and no problem understanding her at all:

Two quotes that were perfect, just bloody perfect:

Feckin' eejit!"

"I'm not actually quite sure what an eejit is," I confessed.

"I'm not saying eejit," she stated. "I'm saying eejit! I.D.I.O.T. -- eejit!"

"My dad used to tell me that we should always call a spade a spade, but that it wasn't really necessary to call it a feckin' gobshite shovel!"

Only one small nitpick, the formatting went to hell for a bit in the middle of Page 4.

Signed: BTW

I can see the story here that the ordinary guy believes that the most perfect woman imaginable, one who has shared his life so fully for a while, will eventually come to her senses and return to where she belongs, to play the field among more godlike males of the species. It is inevitable and he had already accepted that inevitability even as they shared their first intimate moments; she is perfect, he is not and he doesn’t deserve her, will never deserve her and the end will come, come what may.

And then we have the very scenario designed for her to fall, she doesn’t even realise that she has abandoned him and already enjoying nirvana foreplay and actual lesbian penetrative sex with faceless high-rolling men and a serial-seducing woman. That should have been the end of the story, because there's really no logical coming back from that; even the bloodletting paddling of her rump was no lesson, if anything it became ammunition to her ego that if she had been allowed to remained physically unimpaired, unrestrained and guiltless about her professional relationship with her dance partner, all of which jealous, controlling hubby, envious of her success, has ruined for her, she’d have won that trophy and reversed her frumpy housewife existence to an A-list glory lifestyle once more. Single and unshackled, exactly as she deserves and expected.

Hey, I even bought the entrapment, betrayal by both parties, bringing them together again. Up to the point where this other unworldly beauty reappears in his life and becomes a lover, I really loved the story as a romance or a loving wife story.

I was even happy with the amusing references to the daughter as "spawn of the devil". Damn, I've lived through the "terrible twos" that seem to last a decade and a lot more at first hand and a second echo as a grandparent. In this context, I could see the girl as a rival for Mum's affection, as deva grit in the smooth running wheels of the hubby/wife relationship, and enjoyed the child's recognition that Mum's idea of doing this contest was detracting from their relationship and making her more dependent on her father in prep for single parenthood.

I could even recognise the point being made in the finale of this story, that the "ordinary bloke", the one so fearful of losing the goddess in the final paragraph and wishing he had given in to her proclivities even even he would only share her in fractions as some kind of pet to be kept in quarantine from time to time while she cuddled closer to more favoured pets. Then, suddenly out of left field, he turns out to have been Zeus, Thor and Buddha all along and it's the fabulously beautiful women falling down to worship him at his feet, and even the junior she-devil turns out to have been a cherubic acolyte all along. Again, a great ending for another story, but here it all seems so out of character.

I felt it would've been a better story if it had ended with Raven's transgressions and saved the threesome to another time, another scenario and new set of characters.

Well written, it flows well, dialogue and most scenarios great, but not all singing all stars for me, at the end I'm afraid.

It was warm and funny and sexy. Then it kind of went over the cliff. I mean, I know it's a story , and the subset of stories is fantasies , and this certainly one. I love the build-up to their relationship and even her competition in the dance show. But really ? She's a rock star , he's a genius and engineering legend , and when she cheats , he has all the contacts to thwart it. Then, after espousing fidelity, he easily accepts the addition of a woman to their living home. And not just any woman, but a supermodel. I guess chapter two will involve some super sexy doctor who cured the coronavirus, and maybe a sexy FEMALE movie star who makes cookies. But never an athlete who has a heart of gold and an IQ to match. Not if he's male.

Understand its fiction , and not just fiction but erotic fiction. Just thought the development of the family was enough. Didn't need the addition of the model for revenge ,justification or to keep his wife under control.

Keep writing. Except for the last bits , this was one of my favorites.. Didn't need polyamory to solve their issues.

Totally wish fulfillment for the male species. I’m glad the BTB punishment phase didn’t drag on, as it usually does. Bringing in the model was over the top, of course, but all’s well, etc.

The whole wish-fulfilment thing is pretty silly, just too over the top. The cheating seems more like an excuse for. It's kinda a bad LW story, just doesn't feel particularly engrossing or believable.

I think the story would be better if the whole thing with Raven at times being a slut that can't control herself and the cheating just got cut out and it was just rewritten into a three-people romance instead.

Playing more on the wistfulness of opportunities lost, and then returned with Eithne, and have their relationship actually develop rather than just going from 0 to 60 with no build-up. In this story it's kinda boring.

Guys, several commenters seem to think this is an LW story. It isn't and it wasn't posted into LW. So please, don't infer that it's a really poor LW story. That doesn't make any sense!

You change Michael from a man who was monogamous to accepting his wife bring in another to make a threesome arrangement. So the 3 rd partner wanted children you ended it before she got impregnated. How would their daughter accept that arrangement . Would she grow up to be a slut.

This is an entertaining read. It is SJ's story and his plot. If you don't like it, write your own story. As to whether it is in the right category, well, I don't pay enough attention to the category so maybe I shouldn't comment. I enjoyed reading the story. Nuff said.

THANKS

Intense at times, very emotional--and at other times a lighter, more fun tale that relaxes the tension. I particularly like the characterization of daughter Beth, the Hellspawn! The changes of tone may bother some readers, but I really liked the story.

Thanks, ohio

We kids were saying it in the schoolyards to each other back in the 1970s... on the west coast of the U.S. We (at least I) knew it just as a insult. “Hey, you eejit! Throw the damn ball.” Heck, at 7 or 8 we called each other “fucker”, “damn”, “faggot”, “cunt”, “queer”, “bitch”, and others things, without a clue what any of it meant. About the only thing we did know was what “shit” and “asshole” meant. Everything else was just a generic insult.

I didn’t know what eejit meant until I read this story sometime last year. It had remained just another of those insult words we kids cast around that had no real meaning. Though, I suppose, they all must have some root meaning of some sort.

I think I remember hearing eejit on the “Simpsons” animated show. Both Bart, and I think the school janitor, used it.

Thanks for clarifying a childhood mystery.

Lots of fun.

Lovely story! He knew exactly who he married and how to handle it if push comes to shove. The ending was surprising for him being mono and all but somewhat fitting for the bi-tendency of his wife. Just great and long live the hellspawn :P

I think the story is great; the second reading better than the first.

It would be cool to have a P.S. with a pointer to a "Guide To Pronouncing Irish (Gaelic?) Names".

One thing to make the story better would be to elaborate on why they gave Beth her nickname. An example was finally given, but at the end of the story rather after "Hellspawn" was first used.

The final bit wasn't on par with the earlier stuff. However, I get that it is hard to find a good ending. Overall, well worth a read. It's just the threesome finale bit seemed out of character compared to the way he had been previously, and his wife falling in love with a third party seemed a real possibility. Further, it stretched credulity that his former photo mate would not have made an overt move on him, given her star status and confidence.

Great story. He was too physically tough with the spanking. Not tough enough in punishing her emotionally. Threaten divorce and taking the daughter.

I hate authors who don’t name the characters in their stories as soon as they are presented. It represents a laziness by the author. The author knows who is talking but they don’t want the reader to know! Ending with a 3sum was stupid since it lowers her husband down to her moral level of slut!

Thank you, that was a marvelous tale. As for Beth's nickname, I think any parent will recognize where that came from. Thanks for sharing with us.

In light of the ending this story could be titled 'The corruption of Beth and Michael' or 'How to fight fire with napalm'.

Wonderful story and well presented. Full marks, as they say in UK. The premise was original, with the average student PHD candidate turning idealistic pugilist, marrying the flawed rock star, her subsequent salvation and the delicious anticipation of her inevitable demise. But the rest was overreach. It was enjoyable to read, but the threesome epilogue hadn't the energy of what went previously and was diminished by the comparison.

Overall though I am enamored with you freshness of ideas and new and different takes on classic story lines.

Please limit fairy tales to one per story. The idea that E would have developed an attachment to Michael from a 2 hour photoshoot over 8 years ago is just too much. I didn't think Raven should have sprung E on him and then tag teamed him QUITE so fast. Raven should have sold him on E as a monitor before inviting her to bed.

If anyone remotely famous pulled a train of 30 guys in England, where major papers can be tabloids, everyone in the entire world that gave a shit would know about it.

Even though it was a bit... self indulgent I really liked it.

The demonic reference amused - I almost thought it was a nod of the head to a story by BR, but this one precedes. I suppose that ironic references to ones strong affection are kinda par for the course out your neck of the woods... but I use them myself.

And I suspect that Irish women in the wild are not very like this at all... but I haven't had much experience with wild Irish women. But... I mean, there is that Catholic thing...

Green-something

Was good but could have been better. The writing is very good. For two such, (We are repeatedly told) very intelligent people, they make some remarkable choices and decisions!! It's not the mind but the hormones, that reign supreme! 4*s.

Compelling situations, intriguing characters. accomplished prose ---- and all this good work gets flushed down the crapper with that shite ending. The problem is if you're going to indulge in wish-fulfillment adolescent fantasy to resolve a narrative's dramatic tension, the energy generated by a disciplined story structure gets dissipated into a day-dream haze.

.

I mean, why stop at just one supermodel? Why not have the MC acquire a harem of submissive supermodels? Inherit a billion pounds? Discover he's immortal? A story needs limits, and you've transgressed against the implicit limits of yours.

The only EEJIT here is me for spending my time reading this repulsive and flawed piece of

wasted space.

My only excuse is that I'm recovering from heart surgery and bored in a rehab unit. Maybe I'd

had too many pain meds, depriving me of good sense, 'causeI kept reading.

SleeperyJim should go ahead and sleep, spearing us from more flawed tales.

SHR.

Too ridiculous for any serious comment. Unfortunately, zero or negative stars is not an option.

Good story until the threesome. No, just no.

Two's love, three's lust.

They're related, but at best third cousins once removed. Good writing, disappointing denouement.

Sorry. Stopped reading when I saw where this was going. The “eejit” here was the guy for even trying. She was a slut. She confessed, and events proved it to be an honest self-assessment. And the only reason those guys in the bathroom at the concert in the beginning had to try to force her was because they didn’t ask nicely. If those 4 had just gotten her “boosted,” probably just with flattery, they could have asked 26 of their friends to join them, and it would have been a partaay! The eejit need not have gotten hurt in the first place.

Well just another story about a vile selfish human bening

I despise this story. Just popped by to say that. Thanks.

What a clever, humerus, entertaining tale. I chuckled and smiled throughout. There were dark turns, but the sun shone through every time. I appreciate the love and dedication that prevailed.

Humans are complicated. While the characters and situations might not be entirely realistic (how would I know, I'm only one person?), the story explores love, weakness, and commitment in a very entertaining and thought-provoking manner.

Thanks for the memories.

-jog

Beurk, y a t il des personnes qui peuvent lire cette histoire sans être écoeurés ?

This was horrible and entirely beneath your skill.

A waste of time that I will never get back....

Not sure about this one, not your best, still better than most...

Sorry did not enjoy this one⭐️⭐️⭐️

W ----- T ----- F!!!!!??!!!!!

Talk about jumping the shark . . . !

Fun, but WTF???

At least they treat the cuckold better than most.

No matter how you dress it up, no matter how far into fictional fantasy land you take it, the reality is any share, swap, swing, open, or poly relationship is a death sentence to 90% of those stupid enough to allow their relationship to be infected. Seams like everyone thinks that their special and since it is possible they can, now I am not closed minded just because I'm against it, I would argue that it takes a truly open mind to understand that for ever couple that is successful there are eighteen people that lost their's and in most case's it is not the loss of love but when the love literally turns into hate, anger, and jealousy.

Bordel, vous nous avez habitué à mieux. Quelle navet merdique. Comment un homme soi disant amoureux peut il tester avec une salope pareille. Il doit la faire internée ou foutre dans un bordel lointain.

A great fantasy story. Not quite impossible in the real world.

You can tell the MC is a broken man when he refuses to listen to his inner masculinity telling him over and over that if he doesn't stand against her accepting the spot on the show he will be forever a simp cuck.A real man would have told her his reasons and why the feministic attempt to use logical arguments were always flawed, then he would have saved his marriage and self-respect or ended his marriage but with his male virtues still in tacked.

Simply way to chaotic...way to many unused rabbit trails that simply led nowhere...way too many major plot holes...way too many deux ex machina off stage entrants with absolutely no foreshadowing to try to bridge the canyons created by your dubious plot holes... And a "conclusion" that really isn't a conclusion... I mean the epilogue is longer than the tale in general... and wham bam we end up in a Poly relationship as a sop to a willing cuckold wimp of a protagonist as an alternative to the slut wife clearly sociopathic entitled princess core that simply cannot work in any kind of real relationship. So the wimp cuck continues to serve his role as walking tool to empower every single fricking passing emotional impulse of this nutcase Raven...

I simply tuned out about page 5...as the whole thing got so increasingly absurd that I started to supply my own common sense to try to make meaning of this mess.. OF course you, as an author know that when your story structure is so flawed...and your base tale becomes so very absurd that you force your reader to do this...you utterly fail that most critical of authorial requisites...you fail to convince your reader to properly suspend disbelief...

Thus, what started off as an interesting tale...disintegrated into meaningless low comedy...

We call this Epic Fail...

2 stars..

Damn, did I miss the description of which side he buttered his toast on? I will have to read it again (not), to get that info.

Didn't like it, nowhere near as good as some of his other stuff...

No lovable characters in this story!

This is a very talented and clever author. But in many if not most of his stories either openly or between the lines the mind of a blue pilled liberal shines through. He has obviously done quite a lot of thinking, but he stops at the artificial barriers placed in his mind by the pseudo-religion he follows.

For example, whenever religion is mentioned it is peinted as black, as evil, as a destructive, repressive force. I'm an atheist myself, but I see the role of religions much more nuanced.

Just to be clear, I'm not uncritical towards religions and the leaders of their institutions, quite the opposite is true.

SleeperyJim's MMCs often describe their beloved wifes as the ideal woman, detailing their traits, attributes, features and qualities. They are mostly the same each and every time and include cleverness- always superior to the MMC'S, wit, ambition and other traditionally MALE traits. It is a reflection of the modern society, especially the ideals and beliefs of college educated men and, even more so, women. Evident both through social studies and the analysis of electoral behaviour. What's the result of choosing the future wife following the aformentioned criteria, shared by almost every of SJ's MMCs? A diivorce rate considerably highter than the average, which means a whole lot higher as compared to people with formal education. And while in roughly 70 percent of all divorces in America the wife is the initiator, in marriages between college graduates the rate of the wifes filing for the divorce is about 90%.

In this story, again, the FMC is described as clever and so on, and all of these fabulous traits translate into her being a self centered, controlling bitch. The MMC, probably the writer's alter ego, immidiately starts to come up with generalizing excuses: women don't gran for the power in the marriage deliberately, it's their subconscious driving them.

There are so mamy little things that seem to betray the author's fealty to the Western liberals' new religions, like the trans-cult and- what is it now?- the third or fourth wave feminism. Just a tiny example that isn't overly obvious from the beginning of this story. The MMC describes how he is enamored with his wifes beautiful body, but confesses to be even more in love with the woman inside it. Without even writing on the topic of transgenderism he uses the activist's language. There is no woman, or person at that, inside the body, the body is INTEGRAL part of a person. The formulation used by the author implies that there us a body and some sort of mind, soul, consciousness or animus that inhabits the body, which implicates the personality might inhabit the "wrong body", for some reason. SleeperyJim's wording is very deliberate, and this is just one of many examples that can be taken from his stories to proof my point. Several times he accuses the recent Western societies of misogyny and surpressing of imbalances in favour of men. In which decade of the 20th century did SJ put blinders on? I don't say tendencies as such don't exist, but they are menial compared to misandry's omnipresence in mass media and, subsequently, in many people's minds. Women's hypergamy ads to the perception of the men being all the same (assholes). Most of the young hotties lust after the same 5 or 10 or 20 percent of men they deem desirable, the 6-6-6 guy, 6 feet tall, six pack, six figure income, and they yearn the bad boy vibe, thinking that they are the special one able to domesticate the bad boy. Those "chick magnets" pump and dump because they practically wade in pussy, but a good portion of the young females try the same catching game over and over again, until their looks can't compete with the eighteen and twenty year olds any more, and they can't get the guy's they lust after to date them anymore. Up to this point they have only recognised one type of men and, although they know better spout sentences similar to the ones you hear from part of the feminist movement: "All men are chauvinistic pigs". For said feminists that's just a part of their canon. The women practicing free love however just forget a few words conveniently in their statements, which should read something like: "The guys that get my juices flowing are pigs and I enjoyed rolling in the mud with them,"

Of course, I'm simplifying, but I'm not a scientist, I don't have the time and wits to write a brilliant essay and this is not the place to publish it if I was capable.

The funny and ironic thing is, the same girls who are so picky and discriminating in their dating choices cry foul if men have any standards or requirements at all regarding the women they'd preferably like to date.

The same way the author as well as the aforementioned activists portray men as the lesser, primitive and basic instincts driven creatures, yet they demand from us we should act mature, weigh options, think things through when women destroyed the marriage because of boredom or because an evil male siver tongued predator was able to talk his way into the smart, intelligent, funny, witty and overall superior wife's panties. Or because the man worked long hours so his godess of a wife can buy all the things she is entitled to have and a big house to store them in.

That said, SleeperyJim is IMO one of the best contributors here, but after having read almost all of his other stories during the past days this was just too stupid in its double standards, plot holes and toxic personnel to get through- this time.