All Comments on 'Egyptian Tale'

it is great to see some exstended charicter development, and at the same time u didnu bore me with detail! wonderful

Finally a story tnat's not only arousing but enchanting as well. A great mix of lust and love with a spectacular ending.

Rarely are there stories that appeal to so many of the senses. Lust, force, love... Marvelous story!!

Wonderful story plot!Excellent use of words! every feeling was felt. Very sensual!

i really enjoyed your story, even though you mixed up your tences and confused me sometimes. I really enjoyed reading it and i am planning to send my friends here to read it!!

it was amazing!

tenderly poignant and erotic. however, your punctuation and grammar really distracted me from the meaning. but nice work nonetheless!

I'm sappy...I like a happy ending! ~G~

Over all it was ok. But seriously I dont know if you have ever read any of the Cleopatra stories but it was like reading a book over. Mainly plagerism. Im assuming you have since the whole story was almost the same, except where the main points were changed and names. I dont know if I didnt read those first I would like this but I did and it just seemed predictable

He should have first beat the snot out of the slimy woman-beater and then sold the jealous whore. In fact, all bad guys should be bodily harmed as a general rule, IMO. But some very erotic moments and a good story line.

This was a good long ass story I really enjoyed it a lot from start to finish but Kha Sithora Neyl, and Heru All should have been killed for hurting them two like that that other that that 5 stars. =)

This story had my interested from the first paragraph, but after about a page of it, I started skimming. The punctuation is lacking, making the story hard to follow and not all that enjoyable. A good edit and maybe some helping tying each piece of the story together might be in order.

I'm afraid I agree with the recent comments. I don't like to criticize but it became confusing with the lack of dialogue puncuation along with simple spelling mistakes. And this story had its good moments, but more bad. Try wandering in one genre of eroticism rather than several in a span of a few paragraphs. I personally find that more enjoyable.

Maybe I'm just in a sappy mood, but I preferred the "happy" parts and found the rest to be morose and somewhat boring. I usually enjoy a little whipping and reluctance but not pure unwant. This opinion could also be rooted rom myself being female and putting myself as the character. Anyway, brush up on your grammar and form in writing along with transitioning in your stories. Good Luck

This had a very good story line, but the way you jump around really distracts from that aspect. You switch tenses up as well and that is just cause for headaches really. You must try and put yourself into the perspectives of the characters when you write. There was description of emotion...but not a whole lot of emotion if that makes any sense. Description of Passion and pain...but the whole thing lacked both of those. I felt that if this had been read out loud to me, the person speaking would have had a monotone voice.

As I said before, very good storyline, but you need to put more of yourself into it, be sure to use spell check, keep to one tense, and possibly make use of the list of editors on literotica before you post anything else up.

Makes no sense a king would never give away his kid in any age awful story . .

I think the story was great, detailed, the characters and places seemed to be correct. I really enjoyed reading this story.

5 stars, and keep writing!

I did not hate this was trying to give you 3 or 4 stars. darn thing won't let me correct my vote. good story.

I summon laughter pulled from The Simpsons :

HA HAAAAA!

Great story but the grammatical errors spoil the fun of reading. Decide whether you want to write in past or present tense and then stick to it.