All Comments on 'Eight Minutes in the Car Wash'

Speed Clean

Cute imaginative tale, just a bit of tweaking would turn it from a good story into a superb one. Please let us know right from the beginning whether the narrator is male or female. All of that in eight minutes? More believable if a sex act or two is removed. Nice tension, hilarious washing details. But the camera?

Aren't we all?

yowser, read the first sentence again

OK, I read the first sentence again. "We pulled in to the gas station and he put the truck in park." They pull into a gas station, he shifts his truck into park. What's the problem?

Ha, I think Anonymous #1 was telling Yowser to re-read the first sentence, not that there was an issue with the sentence. Suppose the narrator could be male or female, but since it wasn't tagged "gay" it didn't cross my mind for a minute that the narrator was male after hearing the driver was male. There are also always security cameras in car washes--safety concerns.

This is so hot thank you! The setup is great, the sense of all that energy from the noisy washing, the urgency of the sex - wow!