Eighteenth Street Intimacy

At the bottom of the stairs, Hope made some pretense of stopping by the dining room when Arlene turned and headed off for her room. I followed Hope's lead, not trusting myself at all to avoid saying something dumb to Arlene right then.

I was undecided about whether I ought to pry about the fight, but Hope opened up about it as soon as we were alone. "It was a terrible fight," she said. "He forgot something important she told him the other night, about their plans for after graduation, and he had to go and insist it wasn't so important. It was to her! But he couldn't see that."

"Of course he couldn't," I agreed. "Plans for after graduation?"

"Oh, he's going to treat her to a week in Florida. Disney and everything. That's what he's focusing on, but she wanted to have some quiet little event with us all first, and she told him all about it the other night, and of course that didn't stick at all with him." Hope sighed. "Have you noticed how he always goes so big with everything? Trips, dresses from New York, but he never gets her flowers or anything?"

"Hard to miss," I said.

"I'm wondering about this party," Hope said. "If they'll have it patched up by the weekend. But she always does forgive him."

"Yeah, I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to that party," I said. "But, hey, our last hurrah. You're going, aren't you?"

Hope grinned. "Well, I wasn't too sure about it either. But if you can take it?"

"Strength in numbers," I said. "Besides, I want to see you dance again!" I couldn't help laughing a bit.

Hope laughed too. "You're sweet. Yes, then, let's go. We can always go to a club if they get too weird."

"Perfect," I said. And the moment hung there in the air. She looked for all the world like she'd have welcomed a kiss or at least a hug. But I thought of China, and it was only a few weeks. "Well. Good night."

"Good night, Pete."

Hi Lenka,

Yes, I have decided to go to the party! I do have mixed feelings about it, but the summer is nearly gone, after all. Speaking of which, I have other news:

I stared at my screen for a good five minutes, debating just how to announce that I was leaving town as well in a way that would let her know I didn't want her telling the rest of the gang. Finally I concluded that I would just have to tell her that.

Hi Lenka,

Yes, I have decided to go to the party! I'm still not really sure I want to go, but the summer is almost over and there's no sense in missing out on any last nice memories. Speaking of which, I have some big news of my own, but please don't tell the others...

Would that work? I hated to admit I didn't trust my best friend to keep a secret, but I didn't. We were all really close, and things tended to slip out.

Hi Lenka,

Yes, I have decided to go to the party! Why miss out on a last hurrah before the whole gang is truly flung to the four winds, huh? We sure will miss you there, but I know you'll be there in spirit. Hope all is well with your...situation. Yeah, we men are always the problem, aren't we?

Love, Pete

I lingered long over that last line, wondering if she'd recognize the sarcasm and knowing deep down she wouldn't. She was my best friend, but she deserved whatever she got from her boyfriend. She deserved Mattieu and his wandering eye. Those two were perfect for each other, and once again I was perversely happy for them. Maybe there was a meaningless fling in the cards for me in China. The idea made me smile as I hunkered down for the rest of the week.

I gave my two weeks' notice on Friday. Harrison, my rumpled and white-haired boss, was the first to know I was going to China. When Saturday night rolled around and we were gathering in the house lobby to go to Rachel's, I'd made up my mind to tell the gang.

That resolve slipped as soon as Jacob strolled in with Maria on his arm. "Saaaaave the last dance for me!" he was singing, so far off key it must have been on purpose.

"I will, you know!" Maria sang.

"Oh, I didn't mean you in particular." Jacob looked set to let go of her hand, but he saw Arlene looking on and didn't do it. "Just saying, this is probably our last dance."

"The slow dance gang is over," I reminded him. "Rachel said so how many times?"

"Well, who died and left her boss?" Jacob replied. "And hey, there'll be another gang for you, Mister House Institution!"

"I envy you that, Pete!" Arlene said, forcing me to look her way and see her once again all lovey-dovey with Leo. "But we're all happy to know you'll still be carrying on the tradition when we're gone, you know. It's good to know not everything about this place changes."

"Thanks." I forced a smile and knew I'd once again be holding my tongue for the evening.

Hope was the last to arrive, but her sundress was worth the wait. We chatted amicably on the walk, behind Jacob and Maria who were still clinging to one another, ahead of Arlene and Leo who probably were doing the same, but I made a point of not looking. Arlene was venting about Mrs. Duford and I was more than happy to let her. The sunset cast a dazzling glow all along Eighteenth Street, and I had to admit I would miss it nearly as much as I would miss my friends. But it was time.

At Rachel's door, the moment came that we all knew would come, probably even Maria. "This is a little close, isn't it?" Jacob said, and he finally disentangled himself from Maria.

"Uh, okay." Maria looked a little more hurt every time Jacob did that, and this was no exception. But she had her smile back when Rachel opened the door. "Come on in, all!" She stepped aside and beamed at us, and no one was surprised that she was holding hands with Ricardo, who was standing alongside her looking as triumphant as ever. "We've got snacks in the kitchen, and drinks by the window!"

A glance at Rachel's computer just inside the living room revealed that she had her favorite party playlist already up and running, and I saw she had the slow songs well down the list for later on. "Just like old times, huh?" I asked when she sauntered over to see what I was up to.

"I was just telling Ricardo, this is our party playlist. Same songs every week, because why not?"

"Women are so predictable, aren't they, Pete?" Ricardo asked.

I cast a shameless look at their hands clutched together. "Some of them certainly are," I agreed.

"Pete!" Rachel punched me on the arm with her free hand. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"'I don't want a relationship right now!'" I was feeling utterly brazen all of a sudden, almost welcoming the prospect of her kicking me out of the party. I laughed.

Ricardo did, too. "She did say that to me too, Pete. She just needed a little more Ricardo, and didn't know it yet."

"You're so right, Ricardo!" Rachel said. "Pete, look, we're in love. Can't you be happy for us?"

"Of course I can," I said. "Reminds me of a romance novel, happy ever after when no one saw it coming."

Rachel laughed, and I could see all was forgiven. "Oh my God, Pete, you'll never guess what novel you remind me of!"

"Catcher in the Rye, no doubt," I said.

"Oh, you've heard that one before?"

"Just a few hundred times. Where'd you say the drinks were? I need one."

She pointed at the tray by the window, and I helped myself to a tall glass of merlot. "You know, Pete," she said, "you're a beautiful person on the inside. You ought to let that come out more. You come across as insecure and bitter."

I looked up to see Arlene coming to get a drink of her own. "Is that true, Arlene?" I asked.

"Not even close," she said. "Rachel, there's no need to be that way."

"Oh, and you know the most, to say the least!" Rachel snickered, and she and Ricardo were off to the kitchen.

"I am so sorry I tried to set you up with her!" Arlene said. "She's all wrong for you, I see that now."

"I see it too," I said. "I do wonder what brought that on."

"I know the most to say the least?" Arlene let out a nervous laugh. "That was a dig at me."

"From Grease, isn't it?" I asked. "Isn't it the most, to say the least?"

"Right," Arlene said. "I played that girl in high school."

"Oh, you'd be perfect for that part!" I couldn't help laughing. "Or were perfect for it, I guess."

"Yeah, thanks. But I made the mistake of telling her that back when we first met, and she's never given it a rest since then."

"Sorry to hear that," I said. "But what I really meant was, telling me I'm insecure and bitter."

"Who knows, Pete? But if you want to talk about insecure, look who's afraid to be on her own for even a week? Never mind her."

That was certainly good advice, and I fixed myself a plate of dinner and staked out a spot on the couch, and did my best to keep up my share of the small talk. The music played on, but it was much too early yet for anyone to dance. I wasn't sure how long I'd be willing to stick around when the dancing did start, but I kept Hope's idea in mind -- we could always sneak off to a club.

Hope was in the kitchen doorway chatting with Rachel and Ricardo, who were still glued together. I tried to make eye contact with her, but she was absorbed in the conversation. I contented myself with at least not having to deal anymore with Arlene and Leo, who were also too busy eating to get cute together.

I wasn't surprised to see Maria was the first one out on the makeshift dance floor, which was a space of maybe fifteen square feet between Rachel's couch and the window. If there was a surefire way to get Jacob's attention...but then, really, there wasn't. Jacob stayed where he was on the couch, chatting Leo up while Arlene sat nodding and listening. Ricardo saved the day by coming out to join Maria.

Figuring it beat sitting around all night, I got up to join them. "Heyyyy, Pete!" Ricardo clapped me on the back. "Let's see the gringo tear the floor up!"

"I just might," I deadpanned. The sun was down, the music was fast, and there was plenty more liquor if needed.

Rachel joined us before long. "We good, Pete?" she asked.

"Let's just enjoy the party, huh?"

"Guess I'll settle for that!" And soon she was cutting the rug so much I wondered if she'd had something stronger out in the kitchen. There was more than its share of slobbering over Ricardo, who at least had the decency not to laugh too hard about it.

Rachel was good, that I remembered well from our earlier parties. But she was no Hope, as we all saw when Hope joined our circle. I don't know how many songs went by with her dancing up a storm at my side, but I loved every moment of it and thrilled to every time she smiled at me. I almost didn't mind when Arlene and Leo finally got up and joined us on the floor. At least they had the decency to stay on the opposite edge from Hope and me, though I doubted it was intentional. It was with no small amount of joy that I realized I didn't have to force myself not to look at those two dancing together -- with Hope in my corner, I didn't even want to.

I still had reservations about slow-dancing. But when the first slow song came on -- and of course it was Jacob's trademark, "You've Got a Friend" -- there was no escaping it. "Heyyyy, here it is, the song!" he declared, and wrapped one arm around me and the other around Maria. "Everybody now!"

"Knew you'd love this!" said Rachel, who'd always lived for the group dance. She sidled up to Ricardo and grabbed at Leo from behind her, and in no time we were all swaying together in one tight circle. Jacob and Rachel singing together wonderfully off key, the smell of booze heavy in the air...it was just like old times, except none of our housemates were standing off to the side whining about our crummy music. Hope and I exchanged looks and laughs, and I enjoyed feeling her on my arm, sweat and everything.

It was a beautiful last hurrah, but I just couldn't look at Arlene.

"Okay, I need a beer now!" Ricardo announced as soon as the song was over, and Rachel laughed as if it were the funniest thing she'd ever heard.

"That sounds good to me too," I said, turning to Hope. "You?"

"Sure!"

Rachel's kitchen was tiny, but perfect for avoiding any awkwardness out on the dance floor. The four of us clinked bottles. "Admit it, Pete, you're loving every bit of this!" Rachel said.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked. "You're the one who called me insecure and bitter, not me."

"Rachel!" Hope looked outraged, to my delight.

"No, I said you came across that way, not that you are that way, Pete! You're not, that's why we love you. But why do you always make it so hard to see what a sweetheart you are?"

"Geez, Rachel," I said, wondering if she really didn't know about my feelings for Arlene -- how could her best friend miss that?

"Well, I mean, Hope knows," Rachel said.

"What?" Hope turned to me. "I didn't say anything like that!"

"You said he had Arlene all upset!" Rachel said. "And she's talked to me about it too, Pete. Of course Arlene tells me everything, but I mean...she and Leo are in love and they're about to be eight thousand miles apart, and she needs her friends!"

"Rachel, you've had too much to drink and too much of whatever you were up to before we got here." I set my bottle down on the counter. "I think I ought to be getting home. Rain check on the club, Hope?"

"Sure," Hope said. "I understand, Pete."

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Pete," Rachel said.

"I know," I said, not looking back. "That's the problem."

Jacob and Maria were alone on the dance floor, swaying to some gloppy eighties ballad I didn't know, and I remembered to smile as I waved to them. I had just enough time to wonder where Arlene and Leo might be before I passed the bathroom on my way to the door and saw them in there. Arlene appeared to be dressing a cut on Leo's eyebrow. I tried not to laugh at the unlikely sight, but couldn't quite help myself. Fortunately, I was out the door before I had to give it any real thought.

The hallways looked like they hadn't been renovated since about 1974, but the tacky décor appealed to me as I cooled my heels waiting for the elevator. It reminded me of the first apartment I could remember living in with my parents, back when we all got along. There was someone for me out there, and maybe in a few years I'd be making a nice memory for my kid with a walk back to our place from a birthday party or a Christmas pageant or something -- anything but a drunk walk home on my own while my true love was up to heaven-knew-what with her boyfriend in someone else's bathroom!

The absurdity of it all made me laugh. I think I was still laughing when Arlene appeared around the corner, barefoot. "Pete, you're not going home, are you?"

"Oh, yeah, I think I am," I said. "The party's getting a little heavy, you know?"

She stepped up between me and the elevator door just as it opened. "Pete, no, you can't go home yet! I was gonna ask you to dance!"

I tried. I really tried to keep my heart from melting. But here as everywhere else with Arlene, I failed utterly. "Oh, that's so sweet!" I couldn't help smiling, and she responded in kind, also looking relieved. "But..." A gentleman doesn't say no, but technically, I reasoned, she hadn't actually asked, she'd only said she'd been planning to. "But there'll be next time, you know." The elevator door closed and I hadn't budged.

Neither had she. "There might not be, Pete! Besides, I was planning on it all night, you know."

"Well..."

"I saw you leaving and I wondered, is he just going for a cigarette? But you don't smoke. Then I thought, no, you're not going home already?!"

"Well, I wasn't really planning on it, but..."

"Pete, please?"

A gentleman doesn't say no. Not even when he'd rather eat his goddamn shoe than say yes.

Arlene felt just as wonderful in my arms as I had always imagined. The lights of the McDonald's on Eighteenth Street were perversely romantic out the window, a perfect statement of the absurdity of the whole moment as Arlene held me and we swayed to the music. "I'm so glad you came back, Pete," she said. "We're all going to be flung to the four winds so soon, I want us all to have plenty of memories."

"We'll certainly have those," I agreed. "I really do like the whole 'slow dance gang' thing, even if they didn't mean it nicely."

"They were jealous!" Arlene said. "Who wouldn't want to be as tight with their friends as we all are? And listen, don't let Rachel get you down, okay?"

"No! Of course, yeah, no, I won't," I said.

"Pete, are you all right? I know I pushed a little hard for you to come back here..."

"No, I'm glad you did!" I smiled. "Really, I am. I guess it just gets awkward being the single one."

"There's no need to feel that way! We all love you. Even Rachel, she's just too messed up to know how to show you."

"Especially Rachel," I said. "She really nailed the whole thing about the house and about us. We talked about it on the night she and Ricardo hooked up."

"God, I can't believe...no, wait, I can believe she's such a fool over him," Arlene said. "Trust me, Pete, you're better off single than with someone like her."

"You're too right."

"I'll tell you one thing, Pete. I'm really glad you'll still be here anyway. I can't tell you how comforting it is to know someone will still be in the house to keep all the memories we made."

"Oh, what difference does that make?" I managed to keep a straight face, but more than ever I was wishing she hadn't seen me leaving.

"It's been such a magical time, that's what!" Arlene said. "I mean, laughter and tears together, but it's all been so memorable. I love knowing at least one person will still stick around where it all happened."

"Yeah, Pete, you're our rock of Barcelona!" Rachel said, as she and Ricardo floated by us out of nowhere. "And welcome back."

"That's 'Rock of Gibraltar,' and...thank you." What else was there for me to say?

When I turned to answer Rachel, I chanced to see Hope curled up on the sofa and looking out the window. As the song ended and Arlene hugged me and kissed my cheek, I knew I ought to ask Hope for the next dance. But she was looking like I'd get a handful of claws if I went anywhere near her. When Leo appeared and said, "Thanks for keeping her warm for me, Pete," I knew I was once again late for the door.

All the way back to the student house, I felt like I was floating ten feet off the ground with the memory of Arlene's embrace and the look in her eyes by the elevator. I couldn't very well forget that she'd undoubtedly be falling asleep in Leo's arms later that night, but we'd always have Eighteenth Street.

Dear Lenka,

It was a wonderful last party! We all missed you and Mattieu terribly. I sure will miss this place, but I don't know if I could ever handle another round of making a bunch of great friends like our gang and watching them all jet off around the world afterward. Whatever happens next, I'll always treasure the memories of our dances. There's really never been anything like it before.

Well, you said no comments or discussion about your romantic situation, so I won't. Hope all's as well as can be with you, anyway.

Love, Pete

I'd already hit send before I remembered I hadn't told Lenka I was leaving town. Now, however obliquely, I had. I didn't panic, somewhat to my surprise. Who was I kidding -- Lenka was my best friend, but she was much too self-absorbed to spill the beans to the others.

As I turned my attention back to the beginning of my last two weeks of work, I almost hoped she would tell the others. But I didn't believe she would.

I had to work late on a last-minute request from a client, and I missed dinner at the house by an hour and had to eat out. When I did finally get home around nine o'clock, I knew all at once that Lenka had blabbed after all. On my way past the dining room, I caught Arlene and Hope huddled around the table in the far corner. They both looked like they were on their way to a funeral.