Eighteenth Street Intimacy

I stepped into the room. They both looked at me without a word and without any other sign of greeting. "Everything okay?" I asked.

"No." Arlene shook her head and buried it in her hands. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh," I said, and I hated every fiber of my being as I felt a stab of hope that perhaps Leo had dumped her. "Okay," I said. "Let me know if I can help." I turned to go. I thought I might have heard Hope say thanks, but I couldn't even be sure of that.

As I shuffled up the stairs, I passed Leo. "Coming out for drinks tonight?" he asked.

"I don't think so," I said. Then I couldn't help it. "It doesn't look like Arlene's up for it either."

"Boys only tonight," Leo said. "It's Jacob's last week and he's buying. Sure you don't want to come?"

Morbid curiosity overtook me. "Yeah, okay, see you in ten minutes? Thanks."

So maybe it really was about him? Surely Arlene wouldn't be that upset over me going to China -- or could it be because I hadn't told her I was going? As I climbed the stairs to my floor, I told myself I really didn't care. The sooner this summer and all its drama was over, the better! Then I hoped Arlene was upset about me, because at least I wouldn't feel guilty about being glad she and Leo had split.

In any event, I checked my email once I was alone in my room, and found a reply from Lenka that didn't give any sign that she'd told anyone anything.

Pete, I'm so glad you went to the party! Yes, I was with you in spirit, Mattieu and me both. He's fine, immature and undependable as ever, and I really don't know why I put up with you men at all, but when a Pisces loves, it's love. What can we do? We are in love. I'm sure there's someone for you, maybe with the next batch of new arrivals at the house? Be sure to tell me all about them!

Love, Lenka

So it had all gone right over her head. Just as well, but then what was the problem with Arlene and Hope?

I managed to get downstairs and past the dining room undetected by Hope and Arlene (maybe they weren't even there anymore?), to find Leo and Jacob laughing like a couple of hyenas over the courtesy phone. "What's up?" I asked.

"We invited Rachel along with us," Jacob managed to say between gales of laughter.

"I thought it was guys only?"

"Come on, Pete, Rachel is a guy!" Jacob howled.

"But stupid Jacob here, he told her that!" Leo added.

"And her response..." Jacob gulped in a deep breath. "You couldn't print it in the paper!"

"I'll bet," I said. "What about Ricardo?"

"Couldn't find him," Leo said. "Maybe he's at her place?"

"So," I said as soon as we were outside and off down the street. "None of my business, but just why is it guys only tonight?"

"You're right, none of your business," Leo said.

"Methinks they had a fight," Jacob told me, while Leo walked off a bit ahead. "But he wouldn't tell me either."

"If you nosy Americans must know," Leo sniffed, "I told her today I'm going back to Denmark sooner than I thought. Still a few days after the girls are leaving, but no more trip to Florida. So I'm in the birdhouse."

"Doghouse, Leo," I said before I could stop myself.

"What?"

"The saying is, 'in the doghouse'. Anyway, sorry to hear that. I hope everything's okay back home?"

"It will be. But my...sister's giving birth and she wants me there."

"Good for you, man," Jacob said.

"You Americans know all about touchy loving families, don't you?" Leo went on.

"I don't," I said. "But I admire you for that, really." I could scarcely believe I was saying it.

"Oh, you're a lucky one, Pete, staying at this place year after year and making so many new friends again and again, without having to fly off somewhere for a new scene," Leo went on. "Wish I could do that."

Enough was enough. "I'm moving to China," I announced.

Leo took it lying down like he did everything. Jacob didn't. "What?! Mister House Institution is leaving the nest? When did that happen?"

"Weeks ago," I said. "I've had enough of watching all my friends jet off to exotic places, and I applied for a job teaching English there, and long story short, I got it."

"Do the girls know?"

"Every time I'm about to tell them, one of them says something like Leo just said."

"Glad I didn't stop you like they did, then," Leo said. "But why'd you want to go to China?"

"Haven't you ever wanted a whole new start?"

"Yeah, and I thought I had one here,' he replied.

We were close enough to the loud bar that our conversation had to pause while we worked our way through the crowd to find an empty table. It took a few minutes, more time than I really wanted to ponder that last comment of his, and to grow skeptical about his real reasons for going home.

Once we'd secured a table and Leo was off to order our first round, Jacob let me know I wasn't the only suspicious one. "His sister's giving birth?!" he said. "You don't buy that, do you?"

"Not for a moment," I said. "I'll bet Arlene doesn't either."

"Oh, yes she does," Jacob said. "That girl is madly in love with him, and I'm not about to burst her bubble, man."

"Me neither," I said. "But I'm angry for her."

"Don't be, Pete. She's the one dumb enough to fall in love with him."

Any sense of well-being I had from that exchange was burst as soon as Leo returned with three pints. "Gentlemen, here's to the women of the house!" he said, and we all picked up our glasses and clinked them.

"May they one day get off our backs!" Jacob quipped.

I smiled through my disgust, and could only hope Leo was doing the same, but then I was even more disgusted with him at that moment.

Leo didn't help himself in my esteem at all with his next comment. "Come now, Maria's not that bad."

"She hasn't been following you around like a puppy all summer!" Jacob replied. "Got any chew?"

As always, Leo did have a can of tobacco with him, and he even offered me a dip as if he didn't know I never touched the stuff. He did, at least, have the decency to ask Jacob about his studies in Boston, which got Jacob talking all about his big plans for his theatre career and how maybe he'd even marry a dancer one of these years. I did my best to pretend to listen.

"So, Pete, China?" Jacob asked when he'd finally gotten bored with talking about himself. We were almost through our first round and I was ready to go home, but Leo waved down the waitress and ordered another before I could object.

"Yeah," I said, forcing a smile. "This was only ever supposed to be temporary anyway. I never imagined I'd hang around that place for two years."

"Why did you?" Leo asked. "I always wondered just where you were going, Pete."

"Exactly," I said. "I figured some big opportunity would come along. Instead I figured out I'd have to chase it myself, and I did. So here's to living in a 90-storey apartment building in a filthy city were I don't speak the language!"

"Sounds like heaven," Jacob said.

"Doesn't it, though?" And right then it did.

I'm sure it says something that my last week and a half in my job was the smoothest ride I'd had in all my time there. I don't know or care just what that something was, though. With graduation coming up the weekend after my last day, the women were all busy with final projects and I didn't see much of them in the fleeting hours we were in the house together.

I did, though, see enough of Hope to know word had gotten out. "You're going to China?!" she asked, helping herself to a seat at my table at dinner on Wednesday, with no sign of the aloofness I'd sensed earlier in the week.

"Word's out, is it?" I asked. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"No, Pete, I think it's great! Arlene too, when I told her about it today. I hope you don't mind."

"Not in the least," I said. "In fact, I'm relieved. I wanted to tell her so many times..."

"Don't take this the wrong way, Pete, but she's used to you holding back on her."

I nodded sadly. "I guess you saw why after the party the other night, too."

"None of my business, but it was hard to miss," Hope said. "Good for you for stepping aside, though. She and Leo are so much in love, even if we don't know why...wait a minute, is that what pushed you to move to China?"

"It didn't hurt," I said. "It was definitely time for something totally different, and that was as good a reminder as anything."

"Wow. Pete, I really admire the way you've handled this. But you should know, Arlene doesn't know and she still feels kind of hurt by the way you've been hanging back."

"She really can't see it? Amazing."

"No, it isn't, Pete. Remember how crazy she is for Leo. No offense, but she just isn't looking at anyone else that way."

"Makes sense," I admitted. "So. Have you found out if you're going to San Francisco yet? That's as close to a nice short trip from China as you can get, you know."

Hope grinned. "Is that an invitation?"

"Sure sounds like it. And you haven't got a Leo, have you?"

"Yes, I just found out yesterday, I'm going to San Francisco," she said, dodging the rest of my question. "And Arlene's going to Santa Fe, and Rachel to Seattle. You will still be here for graduation, won't you?"

"Yes," I said. "I don't have to be in Shanghai until late September, so I've got a few weeks to just knock around here. I haven't even given my notice to move out of the house yet."

"Great," Hope said. "You know, now that Leo can't take Arlene to Florida anymore, he's treating us all to a weekend at the beach here. You coming?"

"If I'm invited." This was the first I'd heard of it.

"Of course you're invited! Everyone is, except I guess Jacob since he's leaving this weekend, and Maria because if he's not around, what's the point? But Pete, you should come, especially now that we know you're leaving too! Arlene wants you there, I know. You can put up with Leo for one more weekend. Besides, it's really big of him going back to be with his sister, you've got to admit that."

"Sure," I managed to say. "Good to know Arlene wants me there, too. But do you want me there?" I reached across the table and touched her hand.

She gripped back. "Yes, Pete, I do."

I'd been through dozens of farewell outings in those two years. Jacob being who he was, this one was less poignant than most. But not for lack of effort, since Rachel just had to surprise him with a card "from all of us" that wasn't really. I couldn't get a look to see just who among us had signed it, but I gathered it was really just her and Ricardo, since Jacob only looked at them as he read out the inscription. "'Always remember you've got a friend at the other end of Eighteenth Street,'" he read. "'You just call out my name...'"

Then Rachel just had to join in and sing the rest of the refrain with him, while the rest of us sat awkwardly around our table in the house backyard and listened in. "God, Jacob, let's go back to your room for one last hurrah and have a dance. All of us, a group dance."

"Well, I'd love to, but my radio is packed," Jacob said. "Besides, I promised -- " He turned to his side, where Maria had been hanging onto him as usual, but she'd gotten up to leave while they were singing. "Hey, where's Maria?"

"She went inside," I said.

"There must be someplace we can go dance," Rachel said, standing up and clutching Ricardo's hand as lustily as ever.

"It's too nice a night for that, Rachel," Arlene said. "Let's just stay here and chat." I couldn't help but noticed she looked straight at me for that last line.

"Ricardo, you have a portable CD player, don't you?"

"Yeah, but we hate his music," Leo deadpanned. Arlene punched him lightly on the arm, but she also laughed.

"I don't want to drink too much anyway," Jacob said. "Long drive tomorrow and I don't want to be hung over."

"Some farewell this is!" Rachel stood up and hugged Jacob. "Will you be offended if Ricardo and I got hit the club?"

"Not at all!" Jacob said. "Hey...thanks for all the great memories."

"Great," Rachel said. "Who's with us? Pete? Hope?"

Hope and I looked at each other and at Jacob. "It's fine!" Jacob said. "I'll probably just go to bed when we run out of beer. And maybe try to find Maria."

That last line sealed it for me, and Hope and I were off with Rachel and Ricardo. I just couldn't look at Arlene as we took our leave.

Hope and I walked a few steps behind Rachel and Ricardo, who were bullshitting up a storm as always, and we laughed at their jokes rather than bothering with our own conversation. Our hands brushed now and then and we smiled at one another as it happened, but nothing came of it before we got to the club.

It was too loud to talk inside, of course, and I was in no mood to do so anyway. I wanted to dance and I wanted to watch Hope dance, and I got to do plenty of both. Rachel joined us while Ricardo mostly stood on the sidelines and drank beer. I danced off my guilt about Jacob and my frustrations about Arlene, and did my best not to gawk at Hope as she once again burned up the floor.

I did my best, but my attention did not go unnoticed. "She can really tear the place up, huh?" Rachel asked when I took a break to get a beer.

"Who, Hope?" I asked. "Yeah."

"Listen to you, Pete! 'Who, Hope?' Of course I meant Hope! You think we didn't notice how you were checking her out?"

"It's okay, dude," Ricardo added. "I was looking her way too, but you know that means you'd better hurry up and make your move."

"Watch it!" Rachel slugged Ricardo on the arm, and he burst into peals of laughter and walked off. Turning back to me, Rachel continued. "Look, Pete, it's none of my business, but if you think you're falling for Hope now of all times? We're all leaving but you, you know!"

"We're all leaving including me, didn't you hear?"

"No! Where are you off to?"

"China. To teach English."

"No kidding!" Rachel looked delighted, just the way I'd hoped she might look at me back when Arlene was trying to set us up. "But look, that's all the more reason you shouldn't get mixed up with Hope now and break her heart. Would that be fair to her?"

"That didn't stop you and Ricardo, did it?"

"That's different! Ricardo and I have a bond, Pete. It's not the usual Eighteenth Street intimacy, not like the rest of us."

I slammed my beer down on the bar. "Rachel, for cryin' out loud! We've all been the best of friends for months! Didn't that mean anything to you?"

"It meant everything to me! All I'm saying is have some perspective."

"Right."

"Pete, I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"Thanks."

"Not just tonight, but I mean...you know when. I really did mean to just go out with Ricardo once to humor him, but I fell in love! No offense, but I knew there was no way that would happen with you."

"The feeling is mutual, now."

"Ouch! But I guess that's fair. Look, Pete, are we good?"

"It's the age of email and Facebook, isn't it? We can all be best friends for life, and I hope we are."

"What's your last name, Pete?"

I laughed to keep from screaming, and finished my beer.

After the club, Ricardo talked us into getting a pizza at an all-night place he knew. That was where Rachel confessed to having broken up Jacob's farewell party on purpose because he'd rejected her back between Josef and Ricardo. "Couldn't anybody see I was a better match for him than for Maria?"

"Couldn't you see how he treated Maria?" I asked. "Did you want that for yourself?"

"He wouldn't have treated me that way."

Hope and I exchanged bemused looks, and managed not to laugh.

The back garden was empty when Hope and I got back to the student house, having dropped Ricardo and Rachel off at her place, and I figured Jacob must have gone to bed. Hope lingered in the doorway while I checked, neither of us speaking above a whisper because the guy on night duty was asleep at the desk, and I shook my head to confirm the coast was clear.

She stepped out to join me in the deserted garden. "Poor Jacob," she said. "If only we'd known."

"You know how he treated Maria," I said. "Or maybe I just hate long goodbyes, but still..."

"Right, and speaking of which, the beach?"

"I'll be unemployed next weekend anyway," I quipped. "Might as well go."

"And you know it'd mean the world to Arlene."

"Of course, Hope." I was careful to smile as I said it. "I'll be there just for Arlene."

"We'll be there just for Arlene." She stepped up close and opened her arms.

"Yes, let's make that sacrifice for her," I agreed.

Hope's kisses were as nice a surprise as her dancing was. I kept it PG-rated, thrilling to the press of her small breasts against my chest and the mild intimacy feeling the back of her bra through her top. Two years in what was often jokingly called "the sex house" instead of the student house, and with only weeks to go, here I was adding to the legend with the last friend I'd expected as much of.

The pale glow of the security lights in the lobby was passably romantic for our urban garden, and Hope's grin was innocent as ever when she finally pulled back. Did she know I had a room to myself? I couldn't recall, but there was nothing stopping me from making the invitation whether she knew it or not.

I decided I'd take her to bed if she asked.

She didn't. "So, the beach?" she asked, again in a whisper as we strolled back to the door.

"Can't wait," I said.

My room was up the main staircase. Hers was down the hall off the dining room. I kissed her goodnight at the dining room door.

I was more than happy to sleep until almost noon on Saturday so there were no long goodbyes with Jacob. I'd had more than my share of those, and I had the biggest of them all coming up in another week and change, after all.

When I did finally get up and check my email, I got a perfect reminder of why I was glad the summer was nearly over.

Hi Pete,

So you're going to China! Arlene told me all about it, and she's really excited for you. We're sad there won't be anyone from our gang in the house anymore, but you couldn't really stay forever, could you? But why didn't you tell me?

Listen, I heard all about Leo and I know the real reason why he's going back to Denmark. You men are disgusting, you know that? Anyway, you've still got a couple of weeks left after Arlene leaves, so take care of her, understood? She needs her friends right now. And don't you dare tell her what you know about Leo!

Love, Lenka

I started a response to Lenka at least half a dozen times, but each one got too nasty to send. After finally giving up, I wondered should I even stay in touch with her at all? But we were the slow dance gang and we had a bond.

Or did we really?

The garden was alive with early afternoon drinkers and sunbathers, and I stepped outside to say hello. Word had gotten out that I was leaving, as it always did quite quickly in that place, and I fielded plenty of congratulations and invitations for one last drink. But none of the gang was about. Arlene and Hope were probably holed up in the library as usual for one last grueling weekend session, and Leo was undoubtedly out getting drunk.

I was just as happy to be on my own, and walked off downtown as soon as my social rounds in the garden were done. It was a pretty typical summer day in the city, revelers out and about everywhere, and I remembered well how I'd imagined myself spending the next ten or twelve summers like that -- and now how glad I was that wouldn't be happening. I thought of my friends from before the slow dance gang, how many of them were back home now -- "home" being places that were wonderfully exotic to me, at least -- and wondered what they'd think of me going to China. There'd been some great friends before the gang, but never a group half as tight-knit. Thank heavens I wouldn't be left behind to try to follow that act!