Eighteenth Street Intimacy

"Oh, lovely!" Hope closed her eyes. I was tempted to do the same but I figured one of us had to be on the lookout. "Yes, I'm pushing you all the way inside me again and again, and I can feel you pulsating in there!" She squeezed me again and again as she did it, and I had to catch my breath and remind myself not to moan -- the older couple wasn't that far away.

"And I'm helping you along with my fingers, and I can just hear you losing control!" I rubbed harder and sure enough, she had to grab onto my arm for balance, and exhaled long and hard, quietly but I could see that was a struggle.

"Thank you!" Then she turned her attention to getting me off. My trunks were too tight for her to stroke very far, so I pulled them down a bit and sprung free. "I sure hope no one's snorkeling," she said.

"Maybe they'll like what they see!"

She laughed, and soon after I did too, to hide my real reaction as I came. We both looked down to see a tiny white spurt. "Never did that underwater before," I said once I'd caught my breath.

"Adorable," she said, "but you'd better put that away."

"I know." I pulled them back up, and we waited in silence until I'd gone soft so we could go back to the blanket, where Arlene was curled up with a paperback.

Hope and I kept our secret easily enough through dinner at a seafood restaurant Arlene had read about on the Internet, and through a delightful conversation in the living room that lasted until nearly midnight. I managed to limit myself to just three beers, while Leo and Rachel drank the great majority of the others. I'd just finished the last of my three when I let a yawn slip out.

"We boring you, Pete?" Rachel asked.

"No! Sorry!" I smiled, wondering if I ought to open up a fourth just to prove it.

"Well, it is getting late," Arlene said. "No offense, Pete, but you do look tired."

"I am, but I'm happy," I said. "Listen, this is just what I always wanted for us, you know, just enjoying each other's company, and I'm really glad we got to spend this last weekend together."

"Okay, Pete, that's making me tired," Rachel proclaimed, standing up. "I love you guys too, but if you're going to get mushy on me, it's my bedtime."

"Rachel!" Arlene gave her that look again. "Come on, he's opening up to you and you've got to be that way?! And you're the one who wanted to have an orgy, too!"

"I never said I wanted an orgy!" Rachel glared at Arlene. "I just said we could have some clothing optional time if we wanted! And I didn't hear anyone else complain!"

I stood up. "Hey, come on, everyone, we didn't come out here to fight! And Rachel, I guess I should've known you wouldn't like what I said, but what's the harm?"

"The harm is I've had it up to here with Eighteenth Street intimacy!" Rachel said. "And with prudish friends!" With that she tore her t-shirt off defiantly. None of us were surprised to see she wasn't wearing a bra.

Arlene cringed and turned away. "Rachel, for heaven's sake!"

"Afraid of tits, are you?" Rachel demanded. "Bad news, you've got 'em too, Arlene!"

"Babe, come on." Ricardo stood up and took her hand. "You're drunk. Come to bed."

"Yeah, with the one I want to go to bed with," Rachel said, snapping up her shirt from the floor.

"You witch!" Arlene burst into tears and ran off upstairs, ahead of Rachel and Ricardo, who were taking their sweet time.

"What the..." I looked back and forth between Leo and Hope. Neither of them seemed to know anything.

"I'll go talk to her," Leo said, standing up. "Good night, everyone."

When we were alone in the living room, Hope kissed me goodnight. "I'll come downstairs if the coast is clear," she said.

"I'll understand if you can't," I said, and I turned off the light and headed downstairs.

I didn't expect Hope anytime soon, and got to sleep right away. Owing to all the beer, of course I woke up needing the bathroom before long. I didn't know the room well enough to know where to look for a light switch, but there was a faint light from upstairs anyway. I didn't think to wonder why the light was on up there, but halfway to the bathroom I realized someone was in the living room. Arlene, crying, and Hope trying to console her.

"How could she spill the beans like that?" Arlene sobbed.

"I don't think Pete got it," Hope said. "I've never seen any sign that he..."

"Oh, come on, Hope! Haven't you ever seen how he pushes me away anytime I get too close? He never asks me to dance or anything!"

"That doesn't mean he suspects anything," Hope said. "It could even mean he had a crush on you."

"Why wouldn't he want to be close to me if he did?!"

"A taste of honey's worse than none at all, isn't it?"

Arlene didn't say anything for a moment, and I was left to wonder if she was nodding or blowing her nose, or just thinking. "Could be that," she finally said. "But, look, he and I obviously weren't meant to be, either way. And I do love Leo now. Why can't she let that be? Two more days and she'll never even have to see Pete again if she doesn't want to."

"It's just Rachel being Rachel, I think," Hope said. "Is it any help if I say I've never seen any sign Pete knows?"

Any sign I knew what?

"But I have!" Arlene snapped. "I just said, the way he always keeps me at arm's length? Anybody can see he knows I liked him and that he wasn't interested!"

I felt like I'd just been socked in the gut. So we really could have ended up together if Leo hadn't come along? As I swallowed my heart, I wasn't at all sure I wouldn't get sick or cry right on the spot. I reminded myself of the joy Hope and I had shared the past few days. But it didn't help a bit, which made me hate myself even more.

Hope said something I didn't hear. When I did get myself together well enough to listen again, she was saying, "Pete's an adult, either way, and he's always respected you and Leo, hasn't he?"

"Not the point. Rachel had no right to tell him!"

"I don't think he got it, I told you!" Hope was right, I hadn't. I now really wished I still didn't. "Besides, we've all had our hang-ups about each other, haven't we? Jacob with Rachel, Maria with Jacob, Pete with Rachel..."

"That's true." Arlene sounded mollified. "Say, Hope, what about you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I could envision Hope's coy grin as she said it.

"Oh, fine, keep it to yourself. But Rachel...how am I going to put up with the rest of the weekend with her?"

"Remember you'll never have to see her again after this week, and just enjoy the time with the rest of us?"

"I guess that'll do. Thank you for listening to me, Hope."

"Coming to bed?"

"I'm going to sleep on the couch. I don't want to deal with anyone else right now, not even Leo. Heavens, what if he thinks I still have a crush on Pete?"

"He doesn't."

"How do you know?"

"Because Leo never thinks that much about anyone else, Arlene. We all know that, including you."

Arlene laughed. "Good night, Hope."

I stood rooted to the carpet as I listened to Hope climb the stairs, evidently unaware of all that I had heard. I didn't know what I might have to say to her in the morning, and right then I didn't care. When I'd heard her shut her door upstairs, I tiptoed to the bathroom.

I didn't turn the light on until I'd quietly shut the door, and then of course I was treated to an eyeful of myself in the mirror, looking like death warmed over. I did my best not to dwell on that, or on anything. We'd have had to say goodbye this week anyway, I reminded myself again and again as I peed. But that didn't help.

It did, though, distract me long enough to forget myself and flush the toilet when I was done. I realized my mistake as soon as I'd pressed the lever, but it was too late and the telltale rush of water rang out painfully loud and clear. Arlene knew, no doubt.

I turned the bathroom light off before I opened the door, hoping against hope that I was wrong. When I opened it, I saw I wasn't. Arlene was standing at the top of the basement stairs in her nightgown, glaring down at me. "You heard that, didn't you?" she said.

"Not on purpose," I said. "I just got up to pee."

She turned on the waterworks again, and I felt like joining her in that moment. But instead I came up the stairs. "Arlene, listen."

"No!" she turned and ran back to the living room. "Please, don't humiliate me any more than I'm already feeling!"

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about," I said. "Rachel's the one who ought to be embarrassed."

"Like she's got any shame!" Arlene tore open the screen door and walked out onto the deck. The beach was deserted and the moon was out. I followed her.

"I didn't know," I said. "Before or after what she said."

"You didn't?"

"I had no idea," I said. "Believe me, if I had known, I..."

"You what, Pete?"

"Let's just say I've really tried to like Leo, and I haven't quite succeeded."

She turned around, a look of absolute despair on her face. "Oh, no, Pete."

"It doesn't matter now," I said. "We're going to be an ocean apart anyway, and I know you love Leo and I'm happy for what you've had with him." Not entirely true, but what else could I say?

"I do love him," she agreed. "I know he's not the easiest guy to get along with, but...what is it Lenka always says? When a Pisces loves..."

"This is love," we finished in unison and shared a chuckle.

"Besides, who else would cross an ocean for his sister like that?" she asked.

In that moment, I was set free. No more regrets at all for my missed opportunity if she was that big of a fool. But I wouldn't be the one to burst her bubble. "That's beautiful, all right. Look, you and Leo are beautiful together, okay? No hard feelings?"

"I just hate to think of what I've put you through," she said, stepping up close to me. "I mean, I've been through some of it too, but I wasn't alone all those nights. But there were times it was you I wished I was with all the same."

"Isn't it great that we're still friends after all that, though?"

She nodded, and reached out tentatively for a hug. I gladly reciprocated.

"I guess it's okay for me to say now, I've dreamed of a moment like this," I said.

"Me too, and it's okay for us both!"

"Want to go inside?"

"I'm going to sleep on the couch," she said. "It's big enough for two if you're up for a bittersweet memory."

I smiled and nodded, and she led the way back inside. The couch wrapped around the corner of the room, with a tall cushion at the corner. We both settled ourselves against the cushion, and I put one arm around her back and she curled up against me. My heart was pounding, but she reassured me with the news that hers was as well. I was as delighted as I was exhausted, yet I was oddly surprised that she didn't feel magical in my arms any more than Hope did. She didn't smell of roses or candy or feel like a teddy bear the way I might have imagined. But she was right about the bittersweet memory, and those first moments were more sweet than they were bitter. For me at least.

I had just enough time to wonder what sort of explaining this would take if Hope or Leo walked in on us, before I fell asleep.

Was it the morning sun or Arlene's furtive kiss on my cheek that awoke me? It didn't matter; I opened my eyes just in time to see her scurrying off upstairs, where I could hear at least one of our friends was already up and about. She flashed me one last smile as she went up the stairs.

One thing about being relegated to the basement on my own: no one else to wait for in the shower. I was washed up and dressed in plenty of time for the others to come downstairs. Arlene was on Leo's arm as they arrived, looking just as natural as could be. "Hair of the dog, Pete?" Leo asked. "There's a bar up the street with great mimosas, I read."

Imagine my surprise that he knew that phrase! But I nodded. "Sounds good."

Hope bounded down the stairs just after them. "Those two are singing to each other in the shower," she told us. "I think we might be waiting a while for them."

"Then let's just go without them," I said.

I expected token objections, but there were none. "Excellent idea, Pete," Arlene said. "You boys will understand if I don't join you for a mimosa."

"But I will," Hope said.

I laughed and reached for her hand, but remembered just in time.

We got an outdoor table at the bar, with a view of the beach as it started filling up again. Arlene made small talk about the slight burn from yesterday. "No more sunbathing for me, huh?" she asked.

"Maybe there's stuff to do in town instead of the beach?" I suggested.

"Oh, I don't want to do anything that takes that much thought," Arlene said. "Sorry, Pete, I mean if you guys want to go, that's fine. I'm just feeling so lazy."

"You've earned it, dear," Leo said.

"Thank you." Arlene made a big show of nestling up close beside him, something she'd hardly ever done before even when alone with us. "So what's the latest news with your sister? Everything looking okay?"

"Oh, fine," he said. "Probably she is reading her list of names to her husband right now. Ever since we were children, she knew what she wanted to name her own..."

I managed not to look at Hope as we listened to his nonsense, but I could feel her eyes on me.

Hope and I were both also a little overcooked from yesterday, so we decided to walk into town after breakfast. Leo and Arlene went back to the house, and I could guess well enough what they got up to for most of the afternoon while Hope and I were windowshopping and eating and talking about everything but the night before. I had a feeling she probably knew, but she didn't seem to mind, so I let it lie. We talked about her family and a little bit about mine, and what little we knew about China, and about some of our mutual friends from the student house and whom we would and wouldn't stay in touch with. But not a word about Arlene, and I liked it that way.

We held hands on the walk back, Hope remembering to let go of my hand just as we came in sight of the house. "Sorry!" she said.

"No problem," I replied. "No one needs to know."

Just as we were stepping up to the front door, Rachel appeared around the side. "Guys! Don't go in there!"

"What's up?" I asked.

She came over and whispered at us. "Arlene and Leo had another big fight, and when they made up they went upstairs. I don't know for sure, but...we probably ought to let them have the house, don't you think?"

"Sure," Hope and I both said, and we followed Rachel around the back.

I waited for some sort of apology from her for last night. But there wasn't one. Instead she said, "Ricardo's playing volleyball over there, and I'm just splashing around waiting for him. Have you got your suits on underneath, maybe?"

We both shook our heads. "I'm in more of a mood for a walk along the beach anyway," I said. "Hope?"

Now she did take my hand in full view of Rachel, who definitely took notice but didn't say anything.

"Just how does she know about what Leo and Arlene are up to?" she asked as soon as we were on our own.

"Could be she was there. But I'd be surprised if Arlene wanted her around."

"And was she there to see them make up? It's not like Arlene to give anyone an audience for that."

"And there's no way she'd have asked for the house to herself," I added. "Of course, I've got mixed feelings about spending more time with her anyway after this morning. Every time she brings up Leo's sister..."

"Yeah, it's harder to keep quiet, I know!" Hope squeezed my hand. She was quiet for a bit, and I wondered was she debating whether to tell me about last night? She didn't, but what she did say made it all too clear where her mind was. "And of course Rachel's driving her crazy. And me, too! God, we were so tight all year, and now look at us."

"And Lenka, always wagging her finger at everyone else when she was the one cheating!"

"And Jacob, the way he treated Maria! Maybe the slow-dance gang should've ended a while before it did, huh?"

"Then we wouldn't have gotten together, would we?" I stopped and slid my arms around Hope, suddenly wishing the whole lot of them knew all about it.

"I know! We're worth all that, aren't we?"

"What's the line...'They're a rotten crowd, you're worth the whole damn bunch put together,'" I quoted.

"A rotten crowd, Pete?"

"It's from The Great Gatsby," I explained. "Nick says it to Gatsby the last time he sees him alive."

"God, Pete...but yeah, Leo does feel that insufferable sometimes, doesn't he?"

"Sometimes?"

"Well, you're biased, Pete. Come on."

"Biased but informed."

Of course the coast was clear when we finally ventured back to the house. Hope and I showered together and then went to her room and made love until dinnertime. I kept up the charade and avoided being seen leaving her room, and the six of us went out to dinner and pretended the previous evening hadn't happened and pretended no one knew anything about who'd been spending time alone with whom. There was, as always, no talk about life after next week.

The drive back to the city the next day was fairly peaceful and even animated with comfortable conversation, the way last hurrahs so often are. Rachel was back to her chatty self without stepping on any more toes. "Can't wait to explain my sunburn to my folks when I get home," she said. "My mom has this thing about never letting me out of the house without a hat, never mind in a bikini."

"I'm sure your mom looks fabulous in a bikini too," Ricardo said. Her three or four punches on his arm didn't stop him from laughing. The rest of us exchanged wry looks.

Leo dropped the two of them off at Rachel's place first, drawing thanks from all the rest of us as soon as they were gone. "Odds we'll ever see those two again?" I mused out loud.

"You're so cynical, Pete," Hope said.

"But he's been saying goodbye like this for two years," Arlene reminded her. "And honestly, I'm not sure I even want to see her again."

Back at the student house, we all did our part to shake out the floormats and get any lingering beach sand out of the seats, and then Leo was off to return it. Arlene looked at her watch as I let us all in. "Four hours to pack," she said.

"Until seven?" Hope asked. "What happens then?"

"Leo made reservations for dinner someplace. So I'll see you both at breakfast tomorrow, I hope?"

"Wouldn't miss it," I said.

There was an awkward moment at the foot of the stairwell to my floor -- were we going to just go our separate ways as if it weren't for the next-to-last time? We did, and after the weekend we'd had I didn't feel too sorry about it.

I still had two weeks in the house, but I'd also been there over twice as long as Arlene and Hope had been and I had no home to send anything to -- I either had to send it on ahead to China or get rid of it. It was as good a time as any to get started on organizing my two years' worth of stuff. As I set about cleaning out my desk drawers, I turned my computer on. Of course there was an email from Lenka.

Hi Pete,

So it's the last weekend, huh? I'm so sorry we couldn't be there, especially with the week we have had. I have told my boyfriend about Mattieu and I'm afraid it's over. I had hoped we might still be friends, but he never wants to see me again. You men never can control your emotions at all, can you?

I've been to meet Mattieu's family and there's some controversy about me just because I'm a little older. If our ages were reversed no one would care! Ah, but we are in love. What can I do? You'll understand when you find someone. Maybe in China? So when are you off there?

Love, Lenka

I knew the drill well enough by then, and didn't even give any thought to replying to her.

Taking a chance on the spare bed remaining spare until I could find some boxes, I soon had the contents of my desk sorted in half a dozen piles across the bare mattress. With that out of the way, I put my sandals on and walked up Eighteenth Street to get a couple of slices of pizza for dinner. The early evening crowds in the bars and bistros looked just like they had every weekend for two years, but for the first time I found myself wondering how many of them were out for one last night together. Or how many were newly formed groups out for a first night together, just like the slow-dance gang back in March or wherever it had been.