Ella & Evan - Quarantine Summer

"Yeah I know, I barely interact with anyone now except my family. They're fine, but I miss seeing people and being out and doing stuff! There is all this awful news and I know people are sick and dying and still I can't stop whining about how much my life is on hold!"

Shanti nodded, her eyes big, "I know! And it's totally valid to also be upset about your situation, you know it could be worse but it's a huge change for everyone and it's completely rational to be unhappy."

"I know, but thanks for saying it. I just... I guess I miss the life I had this spring. We were in first year of university, in our apartment on our own, and I was finally living the life I wanted since I was a girl, and then it's all splat."

Wistfully, she laughed and said, "I'll admit, I'm horny as hell now too, I haven't been on a date in months! The clerk at the grocery store accidentally touched my hand the other day and I gasped! He was a cute guy and was like 'oh my gosh I'm so sorry here's some hand sanitizer' like he assumed I was worried about corona and I had to tell him no, I was just so freaking lonely!"

We both howled with laughter, until Shanti wiped a tear from her eye and said, "What about you El? I know you haven't been going out but is there a bubble boy on tap? Sneaking an old high school hookup to your room to get by? Michelle told me the other day she started banging her first boyfriend again, simply because he's in the same neighborhood and she knows he's responsible about social distancing. Pandemic rules now, anything goes baby!"

I quickly stopped laughing and shrugged, muttering, "No not really. Just here alone, all frustrated. Arguing with my Mom, getting pissy with Evan. Not much fun here lately I'm afraid."

"Aww I'm sorry to hear that. Epic dry spell here too," Shanti appeared like she wanted to say more but, as often was still the case when Evan came up, she hesitated to talk about her love life after the whole Valentine's Day thing with my twin bro.

Inevitably, we started talk about fall semester. "I just want to know what's going to happen," I complained, "I mean obviously it's all so uncertain now but if it's going to not be in-class learning I want to know what the options are."

"I know. Uh, this may be sudden but it's kind of why I wanted to talk. Depending on the Covid situation here in fall my parents might want me to transfer to a school in Alberta, since it will be distance learning and online shit anyway. Various reasons, but since there's a good chance we won't be on campus anyway they want me to think about it."

The shock and disappointment was all over my face I'm sure and I blurted out, "Oh no! That would be awful! I mean, I get it if it's what you need to do or want or whatever, but even if it was just online classes I'd miss you!"

She looked unhappy too, but Shanti tried a brave smile. "Well, nothing is decided yet, I just wanted you to know. But no matter what, even if I was gone you'd still have Evan, right?"

I stared at her open mouthed for a second, then started crying.

Work From Home

-Rebecca-

In early 2000, late in my first trimester, my ankles started swelling and my stomach just ballooned out and the ultrasound confirmed that, yep, I had two alien creatures growing inside me. Around that time, my own Mom gave me a lovely needlepoint canvas to hang in the new nursery. I still have it, of course, and I hope to pass it along some day (far in the future is fine!) to the next generation.

On a pale lilac background my Mother placed a quote from the mystery writer Agatha Christie that says, "A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." At the time I thought it was a bit morbid honestly, but Mom is a fan of classic mystery novels and so I assumed she just loved the source. Naturally, I quickly realized just how honest a sentiment it was, and how incredibly scary a mother's love for her children can be.

I like to remember that needlepoint, both as a thoughtful gift from my own mother as well as a perfect summary of the all-consuming love I came to feel for my own children from the moment they were placed into my arms, tiny wrinkled pink bundles of screaming perfection.

It's especially helpful to remember that unconditional love when I want to absolutely murder one of them... and yes it's usually the slightly older one in particular!

When I got back down to the small office in the basement I had to fight the urge to kick the chair or something. That girl is simply impossible! Stubborn! Pig-headed! Rude! Does she have any idea how risky she is being with not only her life but the entire family's?!

In hindsight I should have taken the opportunity to remind her that on two separate occasions I've been walking downstairs late at night only to clearly hear her moaning up a storm in Evan's room. I guess I should be grateful they bothered to close the door! She brushed it off when I mentioned it, and of course I had a quiet talk about it with Evan as well. While he was very apologetic and promised he'd be more careful, reading between the lines I could tell he was trying to 'keep the noise down' but - surprise surprise! - the other person in his bed wasn't as concerned.

Logging back into my email I blew out a long breath and tried to let the irritation and concern go. I've always been good at focusing on the task at hand, but after 15 minutes of reading through a long email from the legal department I found my attention wandering. As I needed to do a careful review of a set of documents, absentmindedly scanning the words wasn't going to help, and work had been very demanding for a couple of months now. The lockdown and pandemic had caused everything to stop, but ultimately the local governments had to figure out how to keep essential services going. My job as a mid-level supervisor had suddenly grown to include financial reporting for all sorts of new emergency government programs, and everyone working remotely made it all harder and take longer. I was very grateful to be able to work from home, but it wasn't easy no matter how much I enjoyed the commute.

Trying to take my mind off of the thing that was keeping me from focusing on work, I opened Twitter and my news feed. Instantly I was barraged with a dozen alarming headlines about Covid, and I had to take a moment and look up the stats for British Columbia. I had the provincial Covid dashboard as a bookmark on my browser, so I was always a click away from a detailed breakdown of every test, case and death in the province. It made me feel a tiny bit better that the outbreak in Vancouver was mostly under control, or at least some semblance of control. The infection rates in Eastern Canada were really bad though, and it was grim news from Alberta too. The United States was even worse, but with the border closed I tried to ignore that.

I was studying a rolling 5-day positivity chart for the lower mainland (not terrible, but not great either) like I was an epidemiologist and the drumbeat of pandemic news was making me anxious again. Scott keeps telling me to ease off, that being informed is one thing but constantly jumping into an endless sea of scary news is quite another. He's probably right, but it's hard to stop sometimes when you have so many people to worry about!

A quiet knock on the door, and I quickly looked up. "Hey Mom, just came down to grab an A/C adaptor for Dad to use upstairs," Evan was smiling at me, and for a brief moment I felt my heart soar at the sight of him. I know it's corny, but as tense as I get about the world knowing my kids are home and safe always reassures me. Even when I want to murder one of them.

"Sure thing Evan," I smiled back at him, "helping your Dad get set up?"

"Yeah, he's grabbing some stuff from his car and I said we have a spare adaptor we can set it up for him in the living room or wherever." As Evan came into the room, he placed his hand on my shoulder and I sighed. As he opened a drawer in the computer desk and pulled out a laptop charger, I studied him. Somehow, he is becoming even more handsome every day, tall and developing muscles on his lean frame. I was already used to seeing girls his age (and women quite a bit older!) eyeing him closely when he's walking by. His brown hair was fashionably shaggy, and while he was as cute as ever I could see that something was bothering him. I didn't have to wonder what.

Standing up, he looked down at me and sighed, "Mom, I am sorry about what happened at lunch. It was very irresponsible of me. Of us." His mouth twisted in a frown at his last words.

Delicately, I said, "Does your sister feel the same?" Sometimes, as a parent you ask questions you know the answer too, it's a bit like being a lawyer.

A flash of annoyance and guilt flickered across his features. "Uhm, not really. We had an argument about it, and I apologized, and I thought it was good, but then I pissed her off again when we went for a walk. And I got pissed off too."

He cast his eyes down and I felt a stab in my own heart, "Ah, well honey, I'm sure it's ok! Your sister just... gets stubborn?" I couldn't think of anything else to say, and I'll admit a tiny, wicked part of me wanted to agree with Evan and tell him his sister was a real jerk sometimes! But that was just my own unhelpful anger talking, and besides if I did say it Evan would be shocked and take her side instantly.

With a rueful chuckle, Evan looked at me and teased, "Oh does she? Can't imagine where she gets that from!"

"Watch it mister!" I stood up in front of him and pulled him into a hug, "She must get it from her Dad." He laughed and held me tightly, and I closed my eyes and rested my cheek against his chest.

Evan was idly running his hands up and down my back and we began to rock back and forth. "Evan, I'm pretty sure your sister just wants to tell your Dad already. Get it in the open."

He squeezed me tight and I could tell he was frightened of the thought. So was I.

"She told me too. I don't know Mom, why ruin the Secret Peace? I worry that Dad would, well, kind of hate me if he knew. If he doesn't already."

My mouth was dry. Did he mean about he and Ella? Or about me? Quietly, I said, "I wish I knew for sure what he thought and what he knows baby. But I don't, I'm just... scared to ask."

Evan's body was a comforting, warm anchor and I clung on to it. My darling boy, so attractive and sweet. I hadn't... felt his touch in many weeks now. We never did it in the home, partly because it didn't feel right but also because when we opened up our marriage Scott and I had promised each other that we would never bring our lovers into our home. My arms wrapped around Evan's athletic waist, and I could feel his sinewy strength as he held me. The same arms had all but tossed me around in his bed on campus, having his way with me until I couldn't even cry out any more. With my body pressed against his so firmly, I could feel his penis in his shorts, not erect but still undeniably there and I longed to feel it in my hands again. Suddenly, I couldn't stop thinking about Ella, and how loudly she had been sucking on his thick prick, her wet sex waving back and forth at the door as I stood there, untouched except with my own fingers for so long now.

My heart was pounding and I was probably blushing as I pulled away but I just took a step back towards the chair. With a voice husky with desire I said, "Uh, 'Secret Peace'? What is that?"

He took a step back himself, suddenly bashful, and I wondered if he wanted me as badly in that moment as I wanted him. His sister never did get to finish, was he still unsatisfied from this morning? God I needed him!

"Hah, nothing, it's just what I called our arrangement, in my head. The Secret Peace, the way we can all do what we do as long as no one says it out loud. Something silly I read in a fantasy novel once, seemed apt."

I couldn't help it, I stepped forward again and leaned up to kiss him on the lips, "You are such a dork my boy!" He laughed and blushed, which just made me pull him down and kiss him again.

The second kiss lasted a few, dangerous, seconds. When I forced myself back I could see his eyes, heavy with lust as he started to reach for me only to stop himself, and I felt a surge of fierce joy at his clear wanting. But no, that was madness and a tiny part of my brain was starting to wonder if my anger at his girlfriend was influencing my actions. I didn't think so, but it was an ugly thought nonetheless.

We looked at each other for a moment, until I remembered myself and said, "You should bring that charger up to your Dad before he wonders what's taking so long." At the mention of his father Evan's eyes went wide and he guiltily looked over his shoulder. "But Evan, before you go, I hope you and Ella can talk about what is happening. Honestly, we had an argument too when I asked her to be more careful, so I don't want to bring it up again because she'll just get defensive and I'll get annoyed and that never helps. But it needs to be said I think and it's important."

With a grimace, he replied, "She wasn't thrilled with me either, but I'm sure we'll be OK. And when we're all calmed down, we'll talk about when or if we can tell Dad. That might make her happier, even if we don't agree."

I was pretty sure the 'calming down' would be mostly on one end, but I just nodded. "Thank you, son." With a final smile, he left the room and I went back to the giant pile of documents I had to review and sign off on.

Keep It Vague

-Ella-

It wasn't a full-on ugly cry, like a drunk girl having a meltdown outside a club or something, I just let a few tears out and maybe a few quick sobs. It lasted barely a minute, it just caught me off guard that's all.

"Ohmygod El, are you ok?! Did I say something?" Shanti's face was closer to her screen to peer at me on her laptop, and her immediate concern was so touching it actually made me cry more for a second.

With a final, angry shake of my head I used my free hand to wipe my eyes, "I'm fine, sorry, stupid feelings just caught me off guard." See? Told you.

One of Shanti's many many amazing qualities as a friend is her ability to just listen. She nodded encouragement at me but just sat there and waited. I took a minute to get my sniffles sorted out and cleared my throat. "Sorry, nothing you said! I'm just upset about stuff I guess."

"Anything you want to talk about?" she asked with a gentle smile.

I thought it over as I rubbed my nose. Obviously, I couldn't talk about it really, but I also clearly wanted to get some stuff off my chest. As I get older (turn 20 in a month!) I am learning I sometimes let things just fester in my head until I snap. Maybe I could get it off my chest, so to speak, but just keep things vague?

When I was super upset during Valentine's Day - when I had seen Shanti kissing Evan and my heart just about exploded in my chest and I was wandering around the campus in a miserable daze - I randomly bumped into a couple of women having a smoke break. Chris and Beth asked me if I was OK, then bought me a hot chocolate and listened to me talk about my problems. I hadn't told them everything of course, and naturally I was careful to imply that the unnamed boy I was crushing on and the twin brother I was fighting with were not the same person! It helped, though, it helped a lot to put my confused thoughts and feelings into words. In a perfect world, maybe I'd talk to Mom about this stuff, and honestly, I felt bad about it since I knew she would want me to as well, for both of our sakes. But talking about Evan and our secret with Mom just wasn't as helpful as it could have been, for various little reasons.

"I guess it's a few things," I began slowly. "First of all, of course is the bad shit going on. School being so uncertain, not know what we're going to do this fall, and then being basically stuck at home sucks. I know why and it's important but seeing all this scary stuff is awful enough, and being worried about my family and everyone. And my Mom is so nervous about her parents and her sister."

During my pause, Shanti sighed, "I know. My grandparents being next door and my parents needing to take care of them means everyone is on lockdown to keep them safe."

"It's tough, I know." So far, so good. It felt better just talking about it with a sympathetic ear, now I just had to be careful about the other stuff. "Also, there's a guy..." I trailed off, and paused with a frown.

Shanti arched an eyebrow, "A new guy? You haven't said anything about seeing anyone. Is it new? Or just a Tinder hookup?"

"Hah! I couldn't even imagine how my Mom would freak out if I was on Tinder looking for dick appointments while living at home. She'd lose her shit, and honestly, I think it'd be reckless too. No, this is... a guy I knew before. All through high school." I sat up a little, remembering how I'd made up a generic romantic interest when I had unburdened myself to Chris and Beth. "Yeah, a guy I was into in high school, kept in touch with him. Always had a thing for him but thought it would never be blah blah blah. Well, we reconnected during the lockdown. Maybe casually, but he's... really sweet. But there are problems. I'm not sure if my Dad would approve, not worth getting into but he wouldn't be wrong to have concerns."

"Huh, sounds like some Romeo and Juliette shit!"

Snorting, I rolled my eyes, "Yeah it's an epic tale alright! But on top of all of that, I had a big fight with Evan. Well, not a big one, but more like we had an argument and then we got over it but then it flared up again and I guess I wasn't as over it as I thought I was because he's so infuriating sometimes! And I know my Mom will take his side in any argument, because she agrees with him about this but also because her pwecious wittle Evan can do no wrong!"

As I went on a mini-rant Shanti started to laugh, "Your Mom is an angel but you've always said Evan is a mommas boy. It's kind of endearing, honestly, but I'm sure it's annoying to you!" Talking about Evan made Shanti glance away, and I wondered just how 'over' her crush she was.

"Well, to be fair I do argue with Mom a lot more than he does, he basically always just did whatever she wanted. So, Evan is being annoying, and I guess I am too. We're just stuck here so much and it's bugging me. I'm not going to like go to house parties or do risky shit because I'm bored, but it does get old. Every day is the same!"

The undercurrent of frustrated arousal I'd been feeling for, well, a couple of days now reared up and I felt myself blush. "And it's been a while for me, romantically. And physically."

"My Mom found my vibrator in my bedside table and was like, shocked, but I told her it was that or I'd need to date again. She muttered something in Gujarati that I didn't understand but let it go!"

"I wish my Mom would just mutter about me and let it go. But she's OK with the guy I'm into, the one from high school, but she wants me to just ease off on it because of my Dad. And I'm like, I just want to talk to Dad about it, I'm sure he'd understand and get over his reservations!"

"Huh. Weird your Mom would want you to keep it lowkey, she's always been so upfront. And I've only met your Dad a couple of times but he seemed pretty chill."

"He'd be chill about this too! Well, kind of chill, probably. But it'd be so much better! And instead, I'm sneaking around and it sucks and I'm frustrated because it's not enough, if I was in our apartment, it would be fine, I could have this guy over whenever!"

Cocking her head to the side, Shanti looked thoughtful, "Ya know Ella, this sounds like it may be more than just a booty call... are you serious about this guy?"