Ella & Evan - Quarantine Summer

I grimaced, "Maybe? It's complicated."

"Sounds like it! And what does Evan think of this guy, does he like him? They must know each other from school too, right?"

My brain glitched out for a second and I stared at my phone, my mouth open. "He's fine? No big issue there, it's just my Dad who has a problem with the guy."

"Ella, I'm done being polite. What's his fucking name already?"

Shit. I used the first name I could think of, "His name is Henry, sorry." Henry was the name of a guy I 'dated' in junior high a couple of times, a nice kid who I hadn't seen or heard from since grade 9.

"So, you have this new connection with an old flame. Very much a sign of the times! And your Dad doesn't approve for reasons I am FAR too polite to pry into, and your Mom wants you to just keep it to yourself?"

"Yeah, that sums it up pretty good I guess," I admitted. "But the other big thing is being mad to my Mom about her wanting me to keep it a secret or whatever. And we had an argument about it today, and I said something pretty rude to her and it pissed her off so much she just walked away from me."

With a big groan I closed my eyes before continuing, "And then Evan and I were arguing about something and he pissed me off so bad because he's always so fair and thoughtful about this shit but he still won't see what is really bugging me!"

"Yeah, obviously your brother being cool and nice would be a problem," she deadpanned.

"Ha ha. Fine, it's not totally fair of me to be mad with him about his reaction. But I need more and then I have to sneak around with this other shit and we're all stuck in this house and it's so fucking frustrating because is this just how it'll be now? What if they cancel fall classes and I have to stay here all year?!"

Shanti smiled and soothingly replied, "That I totally get, and then I tell you I might not be at UBC too."

"And that would be so shitty! I'd miss you so fucking much, you're already like my best friend other than maybe Evan when he's not annoying me, especially since most of the girls I knew in high school scattered all over and it's just me and him, but I'm being a bitch to Evan and I can't help it but what if he gets sick of me being pissy?"

"Oh honey, Evan will always have your back, you know that!"

Grumpily, my face screwed up in a scowl, I grudgingly agreed. "Yeah, I know. He is my rock and we're so close I can basically read his mind but it's annoying how just once I'd love for him to read my mind and see what I need! That even though I am tripping over my family all day now and then I feel lonely somehow and some nights I just need more, I need to be held and to be told it'll all be OK and hey maybe it's silly but some extra physical affection would be great but I can't even get laid normally like I used to be able to since we're back home!"

"Uh," Shanti looked confused, then chuckled, "sorry, for a second I didn't realize you were talking about Henry at the end, got mixed up and for a hot second I was like 'hey whaaaat??' haha!"

Big yikes. "Sorry! My thoughts are all scattered, I meant that Henry isn't as available for booty calls as I'd like, ya know with the pandemic and social distancing and stuff," I said with a fake laugh.

"No worries," she said, "I am just glad you're getting a chance to vent! And, first of all, I hope we can all meet up again soon. Maybe we'll have a responsible socially distant picnic at a park some day. You can bring this Henry guy; I promise I won't tell your Dad! It would be so nice to see you again in person, it's been over a month. And, uh, Evan should come too, of course. I swear I won't humiliate myself again!" She gave a weak chuckle.

"You didn't embarrass yourself at all," I insisted, "and Evan would love to see you again. He felt awful you caught us on that night where everything was so weird."

It did help to talk about my problems, but it still bothered me. I guess simply talking out loud wasn't enough to ease my worries this time, or maybe I wasn't drilling down to the real heart of my dissatisfaction. "Anyway, thanks for listening to me complain about a summer of leisure like the most spoiled kid in Vancouver. How are things going with you and your family? Your little brothers and sisters must be going stir crazy!"

"Ugh, don't remind me," Shanti said, "it's pretty rough some days but everyone is healthy and that's the main thing. Uh, hey, speaking of Valentine's Day, I'm a bit confused about something?"

Suddenly alert, I went for a casual reply, "Sure, it was a crazy night with all my parents' drama and stuff."

But Shanti still had that thoughtful look on her face and said, "When you saw me throw myself on your brother like a drunken creep, and your Mom was there, she said you saw me but you took off because you were surprised?"

"I guess so," I tried to radiate disinterest. Fuck fuck fuck.

"It's weird but the first thing I remember was when I kissed Evan and he pulled back, he called out to you and was like 'oh no!' or something, but that's when you took off? Before you even said anything?"

"I don't really remember exactly what happened," I shrugged. Holding out my phone, I shuffled over to the side of the bed to stand up, which had the added benefit of shaking my camera around so Shanti couldn't see me for a second. Shit!

Her face was alternating between confused and thoughtful, and she said, "I really have to apologize to you again, I didn't think me hitting on your brother would upset you, but your Mom kind of explained it. I hate bringing it up because I was a total ass that night, and pretty drunk, but I guess we never did really talk it out like maybe we should have, since the Covid thing got bad a couple of weeks later."

"Yeah, we should get together and talk about it maybe one day," I said vaguely. Then, I pretended to look off towards my door while quickly muting my phone. I unmuted and said, "Shit, I should get going, I'm being summoned. I should probably apologize to my Mom for being such a bitch too."

There was a slight pause, and I felt like Shanti was studying me, but she smiled and said, "No worries! I'll talk to you later, and for sure we definitely should meet up so I can apologize properly for Valentine's Day. Hell, maybe we can talk about that night and it'll all be funny now, right? But go say sorry to your Mom, she's pretty awesome!"

"Hah I will, thanks for listening to me whine Shanti, and let me know the second you learn anything about whether you're going back to UBC this year!"

With that, we disconnected and I stared at my phone, then sat down on my bed. Ah shit.

"Ella!" I could hear my Dad's voice call up from the first floor, "Can you come down here for a second please?"

Fantastic. This could only be great news.

Late Supper

-Ella-

Dad was looking at his phone, standing at the foot of the stairs when I started down.

"Ah good you were in your room. Can you and your brother make supper tonight? I have to make some calls about the office situation and your mother is going to be working late again."

Well damn, I had that sudden relieved good feeling that comes when you're expecting to be in trouble or get bad news and then it turns out the issue is nothing at all. "Sure thing! Chili sound good?"

"I'll leave it up to you Munchkin. Hopefully your Mom isn't working past 7 o'clock today, she's been putting in long hours lately."

Heh. Dad would certainly know all about working too hard and missing family meals. I left him as he walked back to his laptop in the living room to make a phone call. I spent a few minutes checking in the kitchen to make sure we had everything we needed - the recipe we use takes about an hour in total and since we use an Instant Pot to do the time-consuming parts it's pretty easy. Salad and toppings, check, and since it was 5PM and we normally eat at 6:30 I went to go find Evan to let him know.

Evan was in his room at his computer. As I stood in the doorway, I felt my heart thump at just the sight of him, like I hadn't seen him in ages. God, I need to figure out this impasse we have because I can't even imagine what I'd do without him. A split second later, my eyes moved over to his bed and I felt myself flush at the memory of the hot sun on my naked back, my nipples so hard as they rubbed against the rough carpet, all the time thinking my Dad was going to find me like that and he'd know I was sucking my brothers cock...

Evan turned to face me, his expression blank. I felt the warmth of my confused arousal and scared love cool instantly at his carefully neutral look. Had he been mad at me? Or was he just worried I was still mad at him?

I swallowed and felt such a surge of conflicting thoughts and feelings well up inside me I guess I froze up for a second. Finally, Evan looked away and said, "I was going to come talk to you but your door was closed and I heard your voice so I guessed you were chatting with someone."

"Yeah, I just was catching up with Shanti," I replied, like a coward eager to talk about something else.

"Cool, what's new with her? I haven't spoken to her since the last week of classes."

"Good, I think, you know. She has those younger brothers and sisters driving her nuts but don't we all?" I joked, feebly.

It really was a feeble joke, because Evan's expression didn't change at all. Before he could say anything else, I babbled, "She mentioned Valentine's Day and said we should talk about because she wanted to apologize to me about upsetting me or whatever but I said don't worry about it obviously."

Evan's expression finally changed, and he looked surprised as he shook his head, "She didn't do anything wrong. Well maybe a bit but nothing compared to how weird I was acting around her, it was as much our dumb situation as her!"

I nodded, "True she just got in the middle of some, ha ha, weirdness alright. Anyway, if she wants to talk about it more obviously I'll try to avoid it too much, last thing we need is Shanti remembering all the little strange things about that day, right?"

His voice showing more emotion now, he replied with a firm, "Exactly!" I nodded rapidly as if I hadn't given Shanti a few more strange little things to think about, more little dots to connect. Thinking about that gave me a twinge of nervousness, so I left Evan to get back to his computer game or whatever.

A little after 6:30 I was back in my bedroom half watching an old TV sitcom on my phone when I realized I was getting kind of hungry. Huh. Kind of late... Shit! Dinner!

I quickly walked over to Evan's room. He was still on his computer with his headphones on, focused on some game. He wasn't yelling about bleeding out or being in the Gulag (?) so I figured it was a single player game he could pause without whining like a baby that I was killing him and so I walked in and tapped him hard on the shoulder.

With a cute yelp he turned and pulled off the headphones. I grimaced, "I lost track of time, but Mom is working late and Dad asked us to make supper!"

A couple of minutes later we were both in the kitchen. I was getting the ingredients ready for the chili, luckily, we have an Instant Pot and it does a lot of the tedious steps but it still takes almost an hour to cook it. Evan was preparing a salad and setting the table when Dad walked in.

"How long until dinner?" he asked, looking around as if he expected food to magically appear.

Dad frowned and muttered, "It's going to be a late supper," so I scowled at him and he quickly retreated back to his laptop. I'm sure he was working late like Mom anyway.

Evan and I didn't speak much as we prepared the food. We weren't not talking to each other, but there was something in the way between us and I alternated being unhappy and scared about it being my fault and being unhappy and angry that it was his fault. Very useful and mature, you're right.

Finally, supper was ready close to 7:30 and I called to Dad in the living room it was done. Evan had returned to the kitchen to help again and he quickly said he'd go get Mom, which annoyed me. It also annoyed me that it was 5 minutes later when they both came back upstairs, and that Mom was chuckling about something Evan had said. Or did. She had a slight blush on her face, and while I don't think she was wearing much makeup during her working from home I could swear her lipstick was a tiny bit smudged?

Dad entered the room still holding his phone and he noticed Mom shaking her head, resting her hand on Evan's shoulder and smiling at him as he grinned back. "What the heck are they laughing about Munchkin?" he asked me with a polite smile.

He was probably expecting a joke back but I wasn't feeling it. "No fucking clue, you'll have to ask them." I ignored his surprise at my snippy tone and plopped myself down at the table, determined to just ignore everyone for a while.

Frozen By Indecision And Fear

-Evan-

With a sigh I sat down. Ella loudly telling dad she had no clue why mom and I were laughing made it clear she was still annoyed, and even mom frowning at her swearing at the table wasn't enough to make El stop glaring at me.

I ignored her and just grabbed the salad bowl. With the way we sit at the dining room table I had to reach to grab it, so with a flourish I turned to my right and said to my mom, "Salad?" She nodded gratefully and I'll admit, a jerky part of me knew damn well that me being so attentive and carefully serving her with a smile was just going to annoy Ella.

Fine, I was mad too. Ella had been upset, naturally, with the almost-disaster of dad interrupting us. And then I didn't think to ask her specifically about what she was going through, and assuming her reaction was something different was a mistake. I apologized for it, and I thought it was good. I was actually happy we had that talk in the park, and I felt it was a help in the end. Then, she got insulted by me not wanting to stand with her like a couple outside our freaking home in public in broad daylight. And now we're just annoyed with each other I guess.

Unfortunately, Ella has the magical ability to radiate extreme annoyance at other people while not even looking in their direction so it's not a fight I can ever win. I think our dad is legit scared of her sharp tongue and icy stares, and only mom is able to stand up to her when she gets good and angry about something.

Mom glanced between us and then pursed her lips, with that expression she gets when she's forcing herself not to say something that will probably just make things worse. Dad, however isn't quite as good at reading the room.

"So, what did you kids get up to today?" he asked casually, as he plopped some chili into his bowl.

No one spoke, and Ella kept staring straight ahead as if she hadn't even heard the question, so I guessed it was up to me to handle polite conversation, like usual!

"Oh, not much dad," I said, "just playing some video games. I think Ella was chatting with Shanti earlier, and we went for a walk through the park I guess."

"Ah good, glad you kids are enjoying your holiday while it lasts." Even mom looked up, eyes wide, at that comment, and we didn't have to wait long for the reaction.

Angrily flipping her hair over her other shoulder to give dad her maximum level death-stare, Ella demanded, "Holiday! You think this is a holiday, to be cooped up here all summer? To not be able to visit our friends or do anything except sit here and wait for school to get cancelled or pushed online? Yeah, it's fucking great dad, I'm loving being bored out of my mind wondering how much this 'holiday' is going to hurt the world, nevermind whether it'll ruin my chances to be an engineer!"

Dad put his spoon down, his face flushing. As mom started to reproach Ella for her tone and language, dad loudly replied, "Whoa whoa whoa I know obviously it's hard! I'm not pretending you aren't under stress and I'm as worried or more about the pandemic as you are, but come on Munchkin, I was just talking about today!"

For a second Ella looked like she was about to say more, but with effort she gritted her teeth and sat back in her chair, arms crossed. I debated trying to play peacemaker but the venomous look she shot me hinted that it would only make things worse, and I rolled my eyes at her. Fine, let her get in a big fight over nothing if she wants.

I try to be a calm, rational person, but the truth is that I'm just as emotional as Ella is. I just internalize it more maybe, and it's only recently that I've come to acknowledge that I do it too much and that it leads to me being indecisive and scared to express myself. So I was trying to work through my feelings and accept them rather than retreat into being polite and accommodating.

Mom saw me sitting there, shifting in my seat, and so she calmly said, "Ella, we do know this is hard for you. It's hard for everyone."

Ella was clearly trying to not yell, which I appreciated. "Yes, and I know we're doing it for a reason and it's important. I'm just anxious to be able to go back to our own place for classes, even if that doesn't start right in September this year. It's very important for me to be there, second year engineering is going to be brutally hard in an ideal situation and freaking Zoom classes make it much worse."

Clearing his throat, dad struck a conciliatory pose. "Actually guys, with the Covid school situation being so up in the air your mother and I were thinking about the apartment. The lease is renewed in August, and it's almost $3000 a month. Of course, if you are at university we're thrilled to pay it, but if the classes are going to be online you may as well be living here, right?"

I had wondered about this, and Ella and I had actually talked about it months before, but hearing it was still a shock. El just looked... shattered. It broke my heart to see her sitting there, so clearly upset, tears in her eyes. Instead of yelling or arguing, she just let out a long, quiet, resigned "Nooo!" that hurt me worse.

"We know it's not ideal, but it may have to happen," mom said carefully, "which isn't to say anything has been decided."

Her hands flat on the table in front of her, Ella, with a tremor in her voice and all the anger gone, tried again. "I need...we need to be at the apartment. For school."

"But why? If it's going to be online, isn't it easier to be here? That way your mother and I don't have to worry if there's an outbreak on campus."

Dad wasn't angry, he was genuinely asking. For a moment, Ella raised her eyes up and I saw her mind racing as she tried to think of a way to say it without being able to say it. And all the time I was frozen by indecision and fear.

The love of my life was upset, and I wasn't helping. How is that at all acceptable?

"Dad." I said it abruptly, and my voice sounded loud in my head. Everyone turned to me, but I kept looking at him. He was clearly confused and a little annoyed, but hey there was a lot of that going around and it was as much my fault as anyone's.

Mouth dry, I licked my lips and tried again. "Dad, uh, there's a reason. It's hard to say but..." one last deep breath and I just let it out, "the truth is Ella and I are in love. Romantic love. We have been a couple for months now, and I think you know at least some of it but it's my fault that we aren't being honest with you. You deserve the truth, about why Ella is frustrated and why we're being so weird and moody. El wants to be back like it used to be this spring in our apartment so we can be together again. Properly, without sneaking around and being scared of getting caught."

His expression fell, and I could see his initial reaction was less than thrilled. He went pale, and shook his head, but before he could say anything Ella let out a choked gasp and blurted out, "It's true dad! I love Evan and I always have, and now that we are together, I don't ever want to be apart from him again!