Ella & Evan - Valentine's Coupons Pt. 05

Chapter 14 - Confrontation and Agreement

Dad had his hands in his coat pockets, and he didn't look any more thrilled by the situation than Mom did.

"Hello Rebecca, hi Ella," he said, rather gruffly, when he stopped a few steps away from the park bench.

"Scott." Mom swallowed and looked away as she replied.

She still hadn't let go of my hand, but I wanted to offer so I said, "Hi Dad. Uh, I know this is a tough situation but if you want, I can give you guys some privacy." I rather hoped they'd take me up on my offer of getting the hell out of there while they talked, honestly.

Mom still seemed undecided, but Dad smiled sadly at me and shook his head, saying, "You can stay munchkin. I don't want you kids to be stuck between us in any sort of troubles we may be having, but for now I think I'd prefer you to be here. This won't take long. Is that ok with you Rebecca?"

"Yes, Ella please stay. I don't mind," and having said so, my Mom actually shuffled over on the bench so I was in the middle. With a shrug Dad sat down on my right side. The bench was only barely big enough for all three of us to sit down on it, and I felt silly as we all sat there staring straight ahead at nothing. At least it was warm?

I giggled nervously, and both Mom and Dad turned to look at me. "Sorry, I just imagined if Evan shows up he will need to lay across our laps. Ignore me, just being awkward!"

After a moment Dad laughed too, and I could feel Mom relax slightly beside me. Shaking his head, he said, "I just want to apologize to your mother and tell her some things. I'm sorry to make you part of it Ella but it's appropriate you're here. You and your brother are the thing I'm most proud of in the entire world, and the way you have turned out makes me so damn grateful your mother married me and raised a family with me."

"I, I feel the same way Scott. Truly." Mom was talking quietly, but at last she was talking.

"But there were always things deep down in our relationship that didn't lend themselves to honesty. And for that Becky I truly am sorry." I gulped to hear Dad using her nickname, he hadn't called her that in a long time that I could remember. "You tried to bring it up and I was so ashamed and guilty I shut you out. I recognize that now, even if for the past few years I've been lying to you and myself. Blaming work, blaming everything else."

He paused for a moment and Mom turned to look at him across me and said, "Oh Scott, I'm sorry about what I said. I got so mad and frustrated and I said some ugly things to make you mad, just to justify my own anger. I insulted you deeply because I was hurting, when I should have tried to be understanding!"

"Not at all!" He protested, "You tried for a couple of years to talk to me about it like a rational adult and I just wouldn't. I couldn't I guess, I just did not accept it. I was embarrassed, sure, but it's not your fault I refused to engage with you."

By this point, I was staring straight ahead, my red face hopefully not apparent in the dim evening light. They were still just hinting, but what I was starting to believe was a shock to me. And I still didn't know if this was the two of them deciding to part ways amicably or not.

Dad paused, then continued, "I've been thinking hard about us Becky. I want us to be together, I really do. I love our life and the family we have. Is there a way to stay together? I know this might be insane, it might not be what you want at all, but if you were free to pursue your needs with my blessing would that be acceptable?"

Mom was silent, and I tried to melt into the park bench to avoid being between them. That didn't work though, so I instead tried to force my brain to render me unconscious so I couldn't hear it anymore.

"I don't know Scott. I told you I can't stand not being touched any more, but I don't know if an open marriage is the solution?"

Shifting in his seat, he made his case animatedly, "Think about it. We're partners in a great marriage, but I am unwilling to provide for you in one area. I was ashamed about it at first, I felt like you talking about it made me less of a man, but now I see it was my denial and refusal to acknowledge your needs that I should have been embarrassed about. So instead, you find what you need elsewhere, as long as you're discreet I realize I'm not at all bothered by it. Frankly, it would make me so happy to know you're happier as a person."

"I've never cheated on you Scott, not ever," Mom said hurriedly.

Nodding soothingly, Dad said, "And I have never either. Not once. You know our... incompatibility the last few years has nothing at all to do with you. You're as gorgeous and sexy as the day I met you, it's entirely me."

Nervously, Mom said, "Would you want to be free to, well, explore outside our marriage too? What if you fell in love with someone else and then you'd leave me anyway?"

"I would never let it into our house, and I truly mean it when I say you're the only person I've ever felt such an emotional romantic bond with. So I'd keep it very private, but I think you know Becky that you don't need to worry about that. If there even is anyone out there that would make me feel that again. Besides, our marriage is very shaky right now as it is. How can it hurt to try this? You deserve to feel desired and cherished sexually and I clearly can't give you that. But as long as you aren't bringing random dates to our home or lying to me, I would be happy to know you are getting your needs met."

There was a long silence. Mom was still holding my hand tightly, but she and Dad were both looking ahead again.

"Ok Scott. We can try it. I feel so silly saying it, but I really do desperately need some of... that in my life again. And if there is something out there you want and I can't provide I want you to be happy too."

Letting out a long breath, Dad replied, "Thank you so much Becky, I truly think this is for the best. I want us to be the amazing partners we've been for over 20 years now. And I want you to be as satisfied in all aspects of your life as you can be!"

With a relieved laugh Mom leaned over and Dad did as well and they kissed right in front of me, a closed mouth kiss of affection and understanding.

"Ok holy shit let me out of here!" I said, only half joking.

They laughed and pulled apart. "We'll set up some ground rules and have a real conversation about it soon," Dad said, his happiness and relaxation evident.

Mom, blushing and shaking her head, agreed. "Sorry Ella, but it was easier to do that just all at once. You can go wait inside maybe, your brother should be home soon."

I was just about to jump up and hurry away - I was thrilled they seemed to have come to an understanding but was still mortified to be present for it! - when Dad held my arm for a moment. "Actually, I wanted to talk to Ella for a minute. But I should get going, can you walk me to the car munchkin?"

"Sure thing Dad," I said happily and we both stood and began walking.

"Thank you for staying there. I know it must be embarrassing to hear your parents talk about their relationship like that but you being there really did make it easier for me to say things to your mother that I should have told her years ago."

"I'm just so damn relieved and thrilled you guys seem happier now Dad," I said as we got to the SUV. Dad turned to face me, his tired face now warmed with a smile of contentment. I was very curious about him and some of the things implied by the discussion, but I wasn't going to just ask now that's for sure!

"You know Ella, in a weird way I have you to thank. Your visit yesterday kind of knocked some sense into me, you forced me to accept that I was being too stubborn and inflexible in my thinking. That my feelings of inadequacy were more at fault than the things your Mom was saying."

Surprised, I racked my brain, "Really? I don't recall saying anything that would have sparked an epiphany. We just talked about school and stuff, right? Not that I'm complaining! I will take full credit for any help I may have accidentally provided, of course!"

Laughing, Dad gave me a hug, "Well maybe not so much what you said, but just your great mood and outlook lately. You've been so clearly happy and contented these last few months, just being around you makes me more optimistic about the future in general and thrilled to see you blossom into such a wonderful person."

"Awww, thanks Daddy!" I gave him another hug, still a little confused but naturally thrilled by his words.

Reaching into his jacket, Dad handed me something as I smiled. For a moment, I didn't quite realize what happened until I looked down. The thick cardstock had that slight sheen in the ambient light from the buildings around us, but the "Naughty & Nice" was clearly visible on the cover.

Stunned, I looked at the coupon book in my hand as Dad touched my arm and softly said, "I don't think I need to know every little thing and would probably prefer to not frankly. If my baby girl is this happy and her Mom seems to understand and gives her tacit approval, than that's enough for me. Maybe some unconventional thinking is just what we all needed, right?"

I looked up, my mouth open in shock. With a casual shrug, he said, "I found that between the passenger seat and the center console this morning when I got to work. I guess you dropped it there last night after I drove you home. I don't mind telling you, it gave me a lot to think about all day, but really like I said I don't think it's necessarily my business. As long as everyone is happy?"

"Yes. Everyone is happy. Very happy." I was clutching the book to my chest, trying to keep my emotions in check.

"Excellent! Good night Ella, tell your brother I said hi. He was very understanding when I spoke to him tonight, and I truly appreciated his honest desire to help your mother and I in any way he could. But tell him I said everything is good, so he doesn't need to call me again, just have a fun Valentine's Day... whatever his plans are. Oh, I have tickets to the Canucks game on Sunday, against the Ducks. I'd love to go with him, maybe mention it? A chance for some father-son bonding would be great."

Leaning forward, Dad kissed me on the forehead and smiled. I nodded, unable to speak except to say, "Thank you Daddy. We love you!"

He got in his car and drove off, doing a quick U-turn to return the way he came, and as he did he waved to Mom and I as she walked up to me. He was already turning off Thunderbird when Mom saw the coupon book I was holding. Her comical gasp of shock and relief was enough to make me start to laugh. But only for a second, as Mom hugged me I had to talk to her very quickly before Evan showed up.

She left with only a minute to spare as I saw my love walking down the street. His grin was infectious, and when he sat on the bench next to me I just grabbed him and kissed him hard.

One more difficult conversation left, but I was thinking this one might be the sweetest yet.

Chapter 15 - Making Up

-Evan-

The kiss lasted a few seconds, just long enough to make me forget the whole speech I had prepared for when I finally caught up to Ella again. As we slowly separated, sitting on the bench across from the apartment building we lived at, I stared into her brown eyes in the half-light of the small park.

"That's the first time we've kissed outside," I said.

"Yup," Ella said softly. Then she licked my bottom lip quickly before sitting back and grinning, "I'm sure you scoped out that no one was around before you sat down. You're always so paranoid about our secret I figured just one little kiss in the dark would be ok."

I couldn't help but shake my head as I chuckled, "Yes I did. No one is anywhere around that I can see. I'm not at all unhappy you kissed me, but with the coupon book still lost I thought you'd want to be extra cautious."

Staring up at the night sky with a self-satisfied smirk, Ella brought up her left hand from inside her coat pocket, showing me a small booklet of white paper. It was too dark to make out, but I assumed she wasn't showing off a random pizza flyer when she said "Ta-da!"

My relief was a physical thing I could feel through my whole body as I slumped into the bench, my arms and legs limp with the sudden release of a tension I hadn't fully recognized had been inside me for hours now.

"Oh thank god! Where did you find it? Oh my god Ella I'm so damn happy," I had a huge smile on my face, matched by Ella's wide, fierce grin.

"I'll explain later. Mom was here and Dad showed up to talk to her."

"Yeah, I talked to Dad, he said he was coming and I told Mom. Uh, how did it go? She didn't look thrilled," I winced, bracing myself for the worst.

Ella's smile widened and she said, "It went as well as it could go, I'd say. They hashed some things out and seem committed to making their marriage work."

"Really!" I was stunned, "That's awesome! Oh god I was sure Dad was coming down to tell her he was moving out for good or to get a divorce lawyer or something."

Shaking her head, Ella chuckled, "Oh trust me there was a lot of 'or something' said. I almost died of secondhand embarrassment hearing it but they both seemed very relieved. Happier than I've seen them with each other in months, too. But we only have like 20 minutes and we have a lot to talk about. About us."

Confused, I replied, "Why 20 minutes? If you mean the painting and wine event, I already messaged Faisal to tell him we couldn't make it."

Waving her hand casually, Ella said, "Oh never-mind. But we must talk. Seriously. I promised mom."

"Well, ok sure. Shoot. Now that the coupon book is found I'm feeling pretty chill!"

Ella took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. After a few moments I did too. The canopy of the tall trees that grow in the little park waved in the cool night air, and despite the light pollution of the campus I could still make out some stars. We both sat there for a minute, and I could tell Ella was gathering her thoughts, so I was content to just take her hand in mine and look up at the night sky too.

"Mom wanted me to tell you about my dreams for the future. I didn't understand at first, I mean we both say we're going to be together forever, and I am sure you mean it just as much as I mean it so what's the point? But I think she worries about you just letting me decide things."

Rolling my eyes, I scoffed, "Oh come on we both know I'm not just your sidekick following your lead. I don't know why she always acts like you boss me around."

"Heh, I agree. But she does, or rather I think she's just concerned I have such a strong vision of my future, with you in it, that you maybe haven't fully considered what it'll mean until it's too late."

I frowned but didn't say anything. Ella squeezed my hand.

"Hmm, this is the first time we've held hands like this in public, ever. And we're sitting in the dark at night in an empty park. Maybe that's a sign too," she mused.

Laughing, Ella shook her head but continued looking up at the stars. "But never mind that. My deepest dream is simple. It's a nice neighborhood, it looks like West Van but it might not be. I pull into the driveway of a nice home, I've seen it in my mind so many times it's like it's real. A white craftsman bungalow, with light blue trim on the cedar. I'm wearing a nice pencil skirt and blouse, and my hair is pulled back as I walk up to the door with my little briefcase. When I walk in, the home is so welcoming and sunny, everything is perfect and I feel such a surge of pleasure at it all, I could even tell you what furniture is in it. I've been working all day as an environmental engineer, and now I'm so happy to be home."

Ella sniffles and touches her nose briefly, but she continues. "You walk out of one of the rooms and you're smiling. You look like you look now but maybe 10 years older. Sometimes you have a beard, which I really like. You are a freelance editor, or a writer, or both. I'm not sure, but you work from home in your comfy little office with all your books and your big leather chair. I'm just about to say hi and give you a big kiss when I hear the running, and a little body grabs my legs from behind as I start laughing.

"I turn around and look at them, about 4 years old. Shaggy brown hair, eyes just like you and me. Sometimes it's a girl, sometimes a boy. Sometimes there are two of them, you know how twins run in a family. Sometimes I give them names, but not usually. You're saying something about not wrestling in the house, but I don't care, I grab them and start tickling and we're rolling around on the floor, laughing. I don't mind that I'll need to iron my blouse, I can tell you don't mind the noise either because you're smiling and shaking your head."

We were both holding each other's hand tightly. Ella gave a weak laugh and said, "But the thing about my daydream you should know is that I've had it a long time. A very long time. I'm not sure when I started imagining you'd be the father of my kids, but I definitely remember that on our 15th birthday you got the journal from grandma because you were really into writing and I was so pleased because I already knew you were going to be a successful author when we grew up and we were, well, husband and wife. And brother and sister. It never bothered me to think of that, like the obvious problems that would result didn't even occur to me. I just always... assumed. And I guess mom recognized it and she wanted me to be honest with you so you can decide if you want to be with someone who is maybe not rational about the difficulties a secret relationship like ours would have."

I nodded, but then realized she wouldn't see that so I cleared my throat and said, "I'm not scared by that. I do think about the, you know, practicalities a lot."

Ella turned and smiled at me and said, "I know you do. Remember the last night we were in Whistler? When you made me that wonderful romantic dinner?" I nodded. "Well when mom took me shopping she gave me a big talk about us. She clearly was worried about me being unreasonable more than you. She also maybe tried to scare me a little. It didn't work but, well, she had some good points."

Ella trailed off before groaning, "It's so lame how hard it is to say out loud! Ugh ok, here goes. She talked about how we'd need a genetics counselor to... test us. And how hard that would be to find. Maybe we couldn't, because we can't tell one who we are to each other that we need testing but they'd be able to tell. Would they call the police? She told me about recessive genes and how the offspring of first-degree relatives are at increased risk of heredity diseases and that's why, uh, incest is so rare and frowned upon. Holy shit this is painful to say! But I promised her I'd tell you everything, so you know. And just because I'm totally fine with it all mom is worried you aren't thinking as long term as I am and that might be a problem sooner or later."

Giving a sharp, nervous laugh Ella said, "Whew! Ok I'm all done. Uhm, not to rush you or anything but... thoughts? I'm low key terrified you're going to run away now but you're not right? Ev?"

Finally, my brain kicked in gear enough to start working my mouth again. "Sorry! That was a lot to take in!" She was still staring at me and even in the low light I could see her nervous, almost scared look. Her hand was trembling slightly in mine.

Holding it up, I kissed her hand and smiled. "I guess I may as well come clean too. I've been thinking about adoption really. I just assumed you would be able to adopt a child if we wanted to, and then we would move and raise it as ours. Or if we can be confident that a child we have together will be healthy I'd love nothing more than doing that. I've looked up jobs in like Calgary, or Toronto, or Montreal. Wherever. But when we're done school we may find it easier to move away and just live a life where people assume we're married. Regardless, we have a few years to figure it out, I'm just now sure how we hide it from dad. Even if we move far away, he'll figure it out?"