by MissPrincessOreo
I like your ideas and your themes and what you want to say. The problem is that you need someone to help you edit these works. As a sometimes editor and professional writer, I can spot at least fifty errors in this story alone. I say this not to insult, but to hopefully educate. You need to brush up on your grammar and basic English and ask for help from some of the writers here who offer assistance. Plus, I'm sure there are plenty of red-blooded Literotica men who'd love to work, um, closely with you to make your stories tighter and more fun to read. I sincerely hope to see more stories from you in the future.
the rape and tortures continue with ever increasing frequency and depth of depravity, TK U MLJ LV NV
Recommend proofreading your work when you're finished writing. It's a good story, though, and I encoutage you to continue.
Jake
PS- You stopped writing before John came. Are you really that cruel? ;-)
While I LOVE the way this story is going, I am fairly frustrated by the flip-flop of tense and such... You should really try to find a proofreader to look things over for you... Please don't take this as a negative, as I am COMPLETELY loving the way this story is going and am anxious to read more...
PLEASE continue this story, other than the grammatical errors, there are no complaints! I am sssssooooo wet reading this story and I need resolve!