All Comments on 'Emotions'

All you have to do is read any of my stories to know that I leave sentence fragments all over the place. Since English isn't my first language I won't comment on the grammar stuff other than to say the story flowed. The imagry was well done and vivid.

I know that all sorts of folks love little vinettes like this, but I hate them, especially when they're well written. I'm left with too many questions. It's rather like finding only a half slice of one of the best pies you've ever tasted. Do you enjoy it, sure, but a whole pie would have been better.

Thanks for the view... but, more please.

Writing a story in the present tense and having it flow is just about impossible. He kisses her lips. If he is doing that now, how can be kiss her ass now? Try past tense and it will be far less awkward.