Empty Nest Ch. 02

The next morning I was disoriented. I woke up early, like I usually do after I've been drinking, with a pounding headache. I was surprised to find myself naked and a man snoring next to me- not just a man, my eighteen-year-old son. It all came back to me in a rush: the wine, the crying, telling Ben I wanted a baby, undressing in front of my son, letting him climb on top of me... the sound he made as he came inside me...

I moved quickly to the bathroom, and sat on the toilet until I regained my composure. I couldn't believe I'd actually done it. I hoped Ben wouldn't be angry or disgusted, like I'd taken advantage of him. But, after that dizzy moment of shock, I was still happy it happened. I knew I had a man's seed inside me, and maybe I was pregnant already. I didn't regret what I'd done, only hoped that Ben felt okay.

He was awake when I stepped out of the bathroom, still naked, my hair a mess, dried semen on my thighs. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Ben, are you okay?" I asked as I got back under the sheets, hiding from the February chill. "I understand if you don't feel good about what happened last night. I was so drunk..."

"Mom, it's alright," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "I feel good about it. What about you? I didn't make you do something you didn't want while you were drunk, did I?"

I laughed with relief. "No, honey. As long as you're okay with it, I'm very happy."

"Good," he said, pulling me in and kissing my cheek. "Can we do it again?"

I smiled. "It felt that good, huh?"

"Yeah," he said, his face red. "Is it weird that I really liked it?"

"No, sweetie," I told him. "It's supposed to feel good. Especially when you do it with someone you love."

"Well, I love you a lot," Ben said, kissing my cheek again. He rested his hand on my stomach. "When will we know if you're pregnant?"

"It'll be a couple weeks before I can take a test," I said. "And we don't know for sure this'll work. I might just be too old."

"I hope it works," he said. "The more times we try, the better the chances, right?"

That made me smile. "When do you want to try again?"

"How about now?" Ben asked, and cupped my breast. I giggled. Ben tossed back the sheets, showing that he was hard already, and he climbed on top of me. I could feel him poking against my opening.

"Mmm, slow down, mister," I said, looking up at him. "You gotta get me ready first."

"Oh," he laughed. "Sorry."

"That's fine. I'm glad you're so excited," I smiled. "The way you did it last night was great. Just a couple minutes of touching and kissing will really help a woman get ready for sex."

"Got it," he nodded, always a quick study. He was eager to learn and eager to please. We kissed for a few minutes and he squeezed my breasts and I told him to be more gentle with them. He groped softly and teased my nipples with his fingers until they were hard as rocks.

"That's more like it," I cooed in his ear. Next I reminded him that there were other places women liked to be touched, guiding his hands to my neck, my shoulders, my thighs. I knew Ben was already hard but he got more and more excited as he ran his hands over my body, really exploring it as we kissed.

Before long I was ready and I told him, even taking his hand and moving it to my vagina so he could feel how wet I was. Together we positioned him, and when he entered me this time I took his hips and showed him how to go slow and build a rhythm.

It was better than the night before. Ben thrust into my body and I rocked my hips with him and I encouraged him, telling him how well he was doing, how good it felt. He smiled with pride on top of me and reported, breathlessly, how good he felt. He tried to grasp my breasts as he thrust but lost his balance, and we laughed together and got him going again.

He lasted a few minutes this time before his face scrunched up and his movements got fast and spastic and he exploded into me, howling with pleasure. When he rolled off, panting and sweating, he was grinning ear to ear. "That was better than the first time," he said, squeezing my hand.

"Yes it was," I replied, taking a pillow and stuffing it under my hips.

"What's that for?"

"It's to get the sperm where it needs to be," I said, still catching my breath.

"Wow," Ben said, looking my body over. I was shiny with sweat and needed a shower pretty badly, and the bright morning light didn't hide things like my wrinkles or stretchmarks. But the way he looked at me made me feel beautiful. "Do you really think in nine months you'll have a baby?"

"I hope so," I said. Ben thought for a moment, figuring something out.

"I'll be away at college by then," he said. "Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine," I smiled. "You can come visit, but I want school to be your top priority, okay? I'm ready to do this and raise a baby on my own, that's all I want. I'm not expecting you to stick around and be a dad."

"Okay, Mom," he said. "But I still want to help."

"I know, baby," I said, leaning over and kissing him.

That's how the next few weeks went. Ben and I went about our normal lives; he went to school, I went to work. He had his friends over. He did homework and prepared for his final exams and I made dinner and paid bills and talked with my friends.

Our relationship didn't really change much. I still acted like his mom, not his girlfriend, and made it clear that what we were doing, while intimate- we'd kiss and cuddle when we made love- wasn't romantic. I wanted Ben to be normal. I wanted him to find a girl his age to be with, and not be attached to his mom forever. And I felt like I was helping him gain confidence, teaching him to be a good and loving partner.

We made love four or five times a week, fewer if he was really busy with homework or his friends. It was always more or less the same: we'd have a normal evening and both go to change for bed, and if he wanted it he'd come to my room afterwards. Outside my room, during the day, we were a normal mother and son.

I taught Ben how to do a few different positions, and taught him that penetrative sex wasn't enough for most women to reach orgasm. I showed him a bit about anatomy, helping him find my clit and stimulate it with his fingers. We talked about oral sex but it seemed somehow too intimate for us, and besides, I wanted to focus on getting pregnant.

A few weeks after our first time, I got my period. We were both disappointed but I reiterated that this might take a while; I wasn't as fertile as I'd been eighteen years ago. I also reminded Ben that we could stop at any time and I wouldn't be mad, even if I didn't get pregnant.

But he didn't want to stop, and neither did I. Our lovemaking sessions stopped feeling strange surprisingly quickly, and came to be the highlight of my day. I felt lighter and happier, knowing that Ben would take care of me, pleasure me and cuddle me, and that he was working hard to give me the thing I wanted the most. I took vitamins and changed my diet, trying to get ready for a healthy pregnancy.

My period came again in March and I felt discouraged, resigning myself to the fact that this might not happen. I assured Ben that he wasn't doing anything wrong. He read up on fertility and offered all sorts of suggestions, but mostly I ignored them, telling him that if it was meant to happen it would happen. Maybe I was silly to want another baby after all this time.

But as Ben's final exams approached in April, I realized I was late. I didn't tell him at first, not wanting to get his hopes up or distract from his studies. But after two weeks of waiting I was ready to find out. Ben was already asking if my period had come, and I explained that it was irregular. Two weeks late didn't mean I was pregnant. But I hoped and prayed that it did.

One day when Ben got home from school I called him into the living room. "What's up, Mom?" he asked. I just smiled and pointed to the pregnancy test, still in its box, on the coffee table. "Oh my God," he said. "You really think so?"

"We're not going to get our hopes up too much," I told him. "But I'm almost three weeks late. I think it's time to take it."

"Can we do it now?" he asked, picking up the test box. How could I say no to that?

I took the test up to my bathroom. Ben asked if he could come in with me but I told him to wait on my bed. He read the instructions and explained them to me twice and I laughed. "Sweetie, I've done this before. Don't worry." I gave him a kiss on the cheek and closed the bathroom door.

My fingers trembled as I held the test between my legs and peed. As much as I tried to temper my expectations, I was excited. It might have been my imagination, but my breasts felt sore, and I'd been exhausted the last few weeks. It wasn't impossible. I cleaned myself up and brought the test out to Ben.

"Set a timer, baby," I told him, sitting beside him on the bed. He started counting down from two minutes and put his hand on my knee.

"We'll keep trying if it's negative," he said. "Even if I go off to school before it works, I can come home and we can keep trying."

"Thank you, Ben," I said. He seemed nervous and I felt like I should be the one comforting him. But, as always, he took care of me. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom," he said, taking my hand. We had a minute left. I tried not to imagine holding a sweet baby girl. If I wanted it too much, it wouldn't happen. Finally Ben's phone beeped. He stopped the timer.

"I can't look at it," I told him. "Can you tell me what it says?"

Ben looked at the test. Then he read the instructions again. Then looked at the test again. The wait killed me, but I also felt like I was putting off bad news. The longer it took him, the longer I could believe it might really happen.

"Mom, you're pregnant," he said, once he was finally sure what he was looking at.

"No I'm not!" I gasped. "Show me!"

"Two lines!" he said, showing me the test and the instructions together. "Two lines means you're pregnant!"

"Oh my God," I breathed. My body felt limp. I kind of fell forward, catching my face in my hands, and I was sobbing. I was dimly aware of Ben rubbing my back as I cried.

"Congratulations," he said, and I could hear emotion in his voice too.

"Thank you," I told him, the words difficult to get out. "Thank you, thank you, thank you..." I straightened up and hugged him tight, crying into his shoulder, repeating "thank you" again and again while he rubbed my back.

"You're welcome, Mom," he said, kissing the top of my head. "I love you."

It took a while but I calmed down enough to be able to talk. "I can't believe it. I didn't think this would ever happen."

"You deserve it," Ben said, taking my hand again. "Anyone would be lucky to have you as a mom."

I rested my head on his shoulder, wiping away my tears. "You're too good to me."

"So what happens now?" he asked.

"Well, I'll have to make a doctor's appointment to get everything checked out," I said dreamily. "Find out when I'm due, how far along I am... in a couple months we'll be able to see the gender..."

"You're really excited about this," Ben smiled, squeezing my hand. "I love seeing you this happy."

"Are you excited?" I asked.

He sighed. "I am. But it's a little crazy."

"I know, baby," I said, moving closer to him. "It's okay to have a lot of different feelings. Having a baby is a really big thing. But remember, this doesn't mean you're a dad. It just means you're going to be a big brother."

"I know," he said. "But I'm still gonna feel bad going away to college."

"You shouldn't," I told him. "That's exactly what I want you to do. You're gonna go off and become successful and have your own life, and I get to keep being a mom. And every time you come home to visit, you'll get to see your little sister. You're going to be the best brother, you'll spoil her and take her out to do fun stuff her mom won't let her do..."

He smiled at that. "That'll be fun."

"I know this is kind of a weird situation," I said, stroking his hair. "I'm sorry you don't get to share your feelings about this with anyone else. But I'm always here. You can tell me anything."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, honey."

He hesitated, seeming embarrassed. "Now that you're pregnant, does that mean we're going to stop having sex?"

I laughed. "Do you want to stop?"

He shook his head. "No. I really like it. I was worried you wouldn't want to anymore."

I got into bed, laying on top of the sheets, getting comfortable. "Are you still going to want to when I get a big fat belly?"

He got in bed beside me. "How long until you start to show?"

"Don't worry, at least three or four months," I smiled. "But I'm warning you, I got huge when I was pregnant with you. And that was when I was skinny."

He placed his hand on my stomach, rubbing around as if he could feel a difference. "I think you'll look cute."

"Seriously, though, we can keep making love, but I still want you to go out and find a girl your own age," I told him. "I don't want this to stop you from having a normal life."

"Okay," he said. We'd been over this before. "I'm really happy for you, Mom." Ben leaned down and planted a kiss on my stomach, and my heart melted. I pulled him back up and kissed him on the lips.

"I'm glad you don't want to stop," I told him, then kissed him again. "I've been having so much fun."

"Me too," he breathed, rolling onto his side and wrapping his arms around me. His lips found mine, and his hand found my butt.

"I need to properly thank you for giving me a baby," I whispered between kisses. "How should I do that?"

He smiled. "You could get on top."

I rolled on top of him, kissing him hard, pressing him into the bed. I could feel his bulge between us. I straddled him, grinding against him to hear him groan. "Help me take my dress off."

Usually when we made love I was dressed for bed already; it was exciting to feel Ben fumbling with my clothes, tugging down the zipper on my dress and working fast to help me out of it. When I had it off, he groped my breasts through my bra.

"These are gonna get bigger, aren't they?" he asked, and I nodded.

"They're already a little tender," I said.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He took his hands away.

"No, just be gentle. It's exciting. Things are happening already." Ben paused to undo the clasp on my bra; I was proud when it only took him two tries. "You don't have to go too easy on me, just because I'm pregnant."

"I think they might be bigger already," he said, staring at my swinging breasts. He leaned in and kissed them gently. My toes curled. When he kissed my nipples and began to suck them, I couldn't take it anymore.

I got up, pulled his shirt off, then undid his belt and tugged down his pants. He helped me, pulling down his underwear, freeing his hard, ready penis. I took off my panties and got back on top. "Are you ready?" he asked, and I just smiled. I grabbed his shaft and pushed it up into me in one go, gasping with pleasure.

"What do you think?" I asked, watching with pride as his face contorted. Usually our lovemaking was slow and gentle, and this time I wanted it fast. I rocked back and forth on him rapidly, grinding my clit against his hardness, bouncing my breasts in his face. My bed creaked underneath us, and the headboard slammed into the wall.

"Oh my God!" he groaned. "Slow down!"

"Why?" I panted. "Does it hurt?"

"No!" he laughed. "It feels too good! I'm gonna come!"

"Good," I said. I pushed my chest into his head. "Come on, suck them." He had barely gotten his mouth around my nipple when he began to thrash beneath me, making muffled anguished sounds. His hips thrust up and I felt the heat that signaled a fresh batch of seed swimming up into my body. Ben flopped back into the sheets.

"Wow," he panted, looking up at me with a dazed look in his eyes. I felt him softening inside me as he reached up and touched my breasts and my stomach. My hands joined his as we silently imagined what would happen to my body over the coming months, and I beamed with joy. I couldn't remember ever being so happy.