Enchantress 8 - It's About Time

Now she began a wide area search for Exavier and got another hint... footsteps in Thrash in the rail yards... were they taking him to Ankh-Morpork? The wall rose higher into the sky, and she looked along the rail lines, there's only one train heading toward Ankh-Morpork, and he's not on that one, but... the rail line from Thrash continues turnwise to Überwald. She looked along the rail line and found nothing. Then she remembered Nick's railroad, the Copperhead and Bear Mountain Line. She looked along the C&BML tracks and there! She found a big hit - he was taken off the train about a couple of miles from Tackle Creek... the capital village of the Barony of Spatz Mountain.

She searched the Tackle Creek area and she found him; he was in a barn not far from where he got off the train. He was up in the hay loft tied up, and there was a girl talking to him, she appeared to be bringing him something to eat. It looked like they were enjoying each other's company, and they were growing closer as they talked. Suddenly there was a flash that only she noticed... maybe Exie noticed it too because he was no longer tied up and he and the girl were in the hay kissing.

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Finella Thorndyke brought the prisoner tea and a sandwich like her father told her to. Her dad, Reverand Ravenwood Thorndyke arrived about an hour ago with this young man and he said that the young man had sinned against the Turtle, which depending on the type of sin could call for death. "Finella, take the sinner some tea and something to eat. We don't want the needs of the flesh to contribute to his sins."

"Yes father," said Finella realizing that the boy was as much of as slave as she. Maybe less, because if they kill him then he is free of this nightmare. She put some water on to boil then she sliced some mutton from last night's dinner and placed it on bread with mint jelly spread on the bread. Once the tea was ready, she put it in a tea pot, placed it along with a mug and the sandwich on a tray and carried it out to the barn. Finella had light brown hair down to her shoulder blades, hazel eyes, and a slim figure. She was tall, taller than most boys her age and they avoided her. Her father said that was a good thing. She was the only one in the family that was tall, both of her parents were a bit short, the only tall person she knew was Deacon Unger who like her was tall and slim with hazel eyes. He led the congregation in hymns of praise while Finella's mother, Tessa Thorndyke played the organ. Tessa never treated Finella like a daughter, more like an unwanted houseguest. The only person she seemed to like was Deacon Unger. The deacon and her mom played well together.

When Finella climbed up into the hay loft in the barn, she found the sinner tied up and sitting in the hay. She suddenly stopped, he was handsome and very charming. He had thick black hair that looked silky smooth, and she wanted to run her fingers through it... she wanted to touch more of him... for the first time in her life she wanted to run her fingers all over a man. "Hi," he said calmly. "My name is Exavier, what is yours?"

"Finella," she said shyly. "I don't think I'm supposed to be talking to you."

"I'm just a guy, I don't even know why I'm here."

"My dad, the Reverand Ravenwood Thorndyke, said you sinned against the turtle, and we're holding you for judgement," said Finella as she set the tray down on a tool chest.

"Oh, I was worried it would be something serious. I'm sure he has me confused with some other person named Exavier," Exie gave her a smile that his sisters told him was "devastating."

Finella looked at the young man, he was gorgeous! Dark silky hair, beautiful brown eyes, and a smile that made her wonder if he wouldn't mind her sitting in his lap. His voice was deeper than most of the guys she knew, and he was dressed so fancily, like he was attending a grand ball or something. "I never had to do this before..." she said, a bit confused as to what she should be doing.

"If you untie me, I won't run away," said Exie. For his part he drank in the sight of her too. Here he was kidnapped, tied to a post in a hayloft, and all he could think about was the prettiest girl he had ever met, and she didn't have that stuck up my-shit-don't-stink attitude pretty girls have. His sisters would hate her, she was tall and slim, her figure was trim, and his curvaceous sisters are jealous of women like this. Her hair was medium brown and fell past her shoulders in waves, and her breasts were small, noticeable but barely half a handful. A delightful change from the "boob monsters" that dominate his family.

"I don't think I should do that. I brought tea and a sandwich." And after a little trial and error she became very good at holding the tea mug so he could drink, and she held the sandwich so he could bite it.

As he ate, they talked, and the years of loneliness faded away for both. He talked about growing up on a farm near Creel Springs with his five brothers and sisters, how he grew up feeling alone, only his younger sister talked to him on occasion. He spoke of their sheep, goats, chickens, rabbits, mules, horses, a cow, and a donkey named Bongo that got passed from child to child. "Bongo is like a hundred years old, but she'll carry our picnic baskets and fishing poles. She even carried me when I was little."

"What do your parents do?" she asked.

"My dad..." suddenly he didn't want to reveal the fact that he was royalty, she clearly doesn't know that he was abducted. "My dad works in the castle in Lancre. He kind of runs things over there. My mom does magic stuff."

"Oh," said Finella with a nod. She pictured his parents as the head of palace maintenance and a witch. "I'm just the preachers' daughter, the temple maiden. I've never been anywhere but Tackle Creek. I don't have any brothers or sisters," she added sadly. "Dad founded the Temple of the Vengeful Turtle and I'm..." she didn't dare say it. She was the reward; the highest contributor of the month won the Temple "Maiden" for the night. "I'm just the temple maiden."

"What does a temple maiden do?" asked Exavier.

Fucks old men while dad counts the money was the correct answer. "Anything they need me to do," she said aloud while avoiding eye contact with Exie.

"Brothers and sisters can be a pain; my brothers and sisters ignore me most of the time. It's like I'm not alive. My oldest brother's wife is expecting their second baby next month, my oldest sister is overdue with her second, she says she's having a girl," said Exie. He realized that he had to be careful, he shouldn't reveal too much, but all he could think about was those beautiful hazel eyes of hers and her sweet red lips. He comes from a family where every woman is busty to some degree, so Finella's athletic figure was endearing to him. "How old are you?" he asked.

"I'll be eighteen in the spring," she said as she held the sandwich up for him.

"Me too! Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked.

"No. I don't get to see any boys," said Finella as she moved closer. It wasn't a lie, she has no boyfriend, and she doesn't get to see boys, just old men with a lot of money to give to her father.

"I don't get to see anyone either... there's no one my age around me. I don't get to meet any girls my age where I live. Other than my sisters all the other females around me are married old women or little kids. I'll be your boyfriend if you like." This was painfully true. Other than sisters and sisters-in-law the only girl near his age is eleven year old Darla in the Kings College.

"I would like that," she said nervously. He's not a threat, he's too short, but what is he going to say if he finds out about her past?

Exie had enough of this and stopped everything but himself. Finella was frozen holding the mug up to him to drink from. He worked at the ropes binding his wrists and soon had his wrists free, then he untied the ropes around his ankles. When he was free, he took the tea mug out of Finella's hand and placed it on the tray along with the scraps of the sandwich and pulled her down with him in the hay and restarted everything.

"What did you do?" she gasped.

"I told you, my mom does magic stuff, I guess I learned a rope trick." Finella didn't struggle, in fact she was quite happy to be in the handsome young man's arms, it just felt right... his touch was righter than any man in her past, it felt like this is the way it was meant to be. Their lips got closer and closer, and they touched and for both it was bliss. It was as if their lips were meant to be touching. He was so much sweeter than the men at the temple, it's almost like he cares about her. Their hands gently roamed over each other's body, slowly discovering what each other was built like. Then their tongues touched, and it felt like a spark jumped between them.

Finella whimpered in delight and pushed Exie onto his back in the hay, then as they both reached for each other's shirt buttons a voice jumped into their heads...

"EXAVIER ABRAAM WORBLEHAT-STEIN!"

"Shit," muttered Exie.

"What was that?" gasped Finella looking around the dark hayloft.

"My mom," groaned Exie as the headache from her mental shout started to settle in.

"Your mom???"

"I told you; she does magic stuff." He closed his eyes and thought "WHAT???" as hard as he could but he wasn't sure if it got to her.

"DON'T 'WHAT' ME YOUNG MAN!"

It got to her.

"GET OVER TO BARON BALTIMORE'S HOUSE NOW. AND TAKE YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND WITH YOU."

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"What's that?" asked Gwendolyn as she looked at the gray cloaks that hovered in front of her. They were completely empty. She's seen Death and he wears something like this, but he has bits that stick out, hands and feet and such. These blokes don't have bits. She reached out and took ahold of a cloak and opened it up and shook it out, and it went right back to looking like it was occupied.

"They are auditors of reality, watchers of time and space." Then Time whispered into Gwendolyn's ear, "They do not believe in individuality. If you can get them to speak of themselves in the first person, they go away. They are very literal; they will also go away if you confuse them."

Gwendolyn thought about it for a while then asked, "What do you want?"

"It has come to our attention that you have learned to alter time."

Gwendolyn turned to Time and said, "Have I altered you?"

Time smiled and purred, "Altered? No, I am inexorable, I cannot be altered."

Gwendolyn turned back to the auditors and said, "Your information is wrong. You are dismissed."

"But she has traveled outside of the time stream, and we want to know how."

"No." said Gwendolyn. "Not unless you ask nicely."

"We do not ask nicely..." said a gray cloak but Gwendolyn held up a finger.

"I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to him," she said pointing to the third Auditor in line. "You are rude and need to remain quiet. I like him. He's much nicer."

"I am not rude I was just... oh bloody hell..."

Pop!

And the Auditor popped out of existence. "She said I'm nice," whispered a remaining Auditor to his partner. "Damnit!"

Pop!

The two Auditors were soon replaced and the three turned toward Gwendolyn. "Again how did you alter time?" they asked again.

"I didn't alter Time, she said she was fine," suddenly Gwen shrieked, "get off the lawn! You're ruining the grass!!!" The auditors looked around and didn't see any grass. They were in a glass house with glass walls and a glass floor, there was no lawn inside or outside of the house and they were confused. "Stay off the lawn, you're killing the grass!"

Pop! Pop! Pop!

"Nice, three at once!" smiled Time. Then she got serious. "If you continue to 'adjust' the time stream you will see them again. They hate life but they can't touch you. But they will annoy you. They work for Azræl, one of the Great Old Ones."

"Mom told me about Azræl, she says he thinks she's hot."

Time opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. It could be possible, Azræl is over a billion years old, and he has interesting passions. "Now that you know about the auditors and I've figured out your trick, let's get you back to your family."

"You should see my brother Exie, he's much better at this..."

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"Come on baby, daddy's right here," said Marke Ivers but Hollie's body didn't seem to want to let go of the baby.

"How about if we sit her up?" Marlon asked the witch Matilda Potts. She's been helping Hollie for a few hours and the baby isn't getting anywhere closer, but her water has already broken, the baby needs to come now. His dad likes to have "his girls" sitting up when they're giving birth.

"I don't know if sitting her up..." Matilda was frustrated, it was a tough night, the two youngest kids were missing, the twins and their spouses were in foreign parts, the king was injured and the queen is gone, and the castle was in lock down... "I don't know," groaned Matilda. "What am I missing?"

Marlon looked around the room, it was just him and Mark and Matilda, the problem was obvious. "I'll be right back." He got up and ran off. Fifteen minutes later little Corina and Pommy were playing in the corner next to Annette and Annabelle, Grandma Jutta and Catrin brought their chairs and their knitting, Queen Magrat joined along with Ning who had to be dragged out of Nick's room. Marlon smiled, this looked more like every birthing he'd been to in the past.

As Annabelle started serving tea, Hollie grabbed Marlon's collar, and snarled, "You bastard!" and gave him a kiss. "Thank you." Every birth Hollie has ever seen has been in front of the entire family, the only people missing were mom and dad but with this small crowd Hollie felt strangely happy. She misses her big noisy family in the tiny, cramped cabin and as Mark kissed and encouraged her, the newest Ivers would soon join the royal family.

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"Oi don't get it," said Ivo. "His holiness left the castle; he flew off to see to a fire or sumpin' and he never come back."

"You don't say," said the voice in the cell across the aisle from Ivo. Unseen to the person in that cell, a small wire haired dog was sitting just outside the cell door. After Ivo mentioned that Nick flew off and never flew back the small dog got up and left. It trotted up to a dark office where a skeleton wearing a breast plate and a helmet sat leaning against the wall.

"I heard enough," said the small dog, "thanks Stan. Don't forget Ivo."

The skeleton sat up as if coming awake at the sound of the dog's voice. Stanislaus has been the jailer of the Lancre Dungeon for two hundred fifty years, and fifty of those years were spent alive. He was such a good jailer that no one had the heart to relieve him of duty after he died. "Thank you, Juju," and the skeleton got up and headed to the two cells that were occupied. "Ivo Stein... somebody else wants to talk to you!"

"Wot! Oi was getting me beauty rest."

"You'll have time for that later," said Stan and he unlocked the door and dragged Ivo out of the cell and shoved him roughly down the hall leaving Mr. Jean-Baptiste Favreau alone in the dark cell across the hall.

"Oi wants me a lawyer!"

Several minutes later Ivo was in the arms of his wife. "Oi don't know what that was all about," said Ivo, "but me daughter asked me to sit in a jail cell for an hour and talk tough, like I run the show and Nick was a criminal."

Magrat looked down at Juju who was looking up at her. "I wonder if it has something to do with a clairvoyant dog."

"I wouldn't count that out," said Juju who was trying to look innocent. He ducked into the room where Nick lay sleeping, hopped up, and curled up at the foot of the bed.

"Come on," said Maggy and she urged Ivo quickly into the next room and it was packed with people.

"Grandpa! Sit down here!" called Mark Ivers and motioned to a chair next to the bed Hollie was on, she was nearly naked, and her knees were up in the air.

"Grandpa!" cried Hollie and she grabbed his arm and squeezed tight, as tight as she could. She screamed and Matilda Potts and Mark leaned in between her legs. All around her was her family calling out encouragement and occasionally leaning over to see and all Ivo could think was that this was insane.

"What is this..." the confused old man said but Hollie screamed again, and Matilda said, "Here she comes!" and as Ivo watched on in wonder the cries of a newborn filled the air... "Name your child, daddy!" said Matilda.

"John!" cried Mark as he held his son gently. Hollie had said the baby was a girl, and Mark had a perfect baby boy in his arms. "John Nicholas after both of our fathers," he said happily.

A while later Octavia landed in the courtyard, raced into the castle, and dove into Nick's room first to see how he and Ning were doing. Nick was still asleep, and Ning was still in agony over Nick's condition. "Oh baby, how are you doing," Octavia breathlessly asked Ning as she hugged her Agatean lover.

"Scared, I'm so scared for him," whispered Ning.

"I'm doing fine, if you bother to ask," said Juju. The two women glared at the little dog. "Just saving you the breath to ask a small dog that risked his life for the kingdom and the royal family."

"You really are Gaspode's child," muttered Ning.

"Did you have fun playing secret sleuth?" asked Octavia.

"Nah, the guy just put himself in prison for the rest of his life," said Juju. "I gave a list of names to Marlon."

Then Octavia went and visited Hollie and found her newest grandchild in the arms of Ivo who sat with tears of joy streaming down his cheeks and dripping onto the baby's swaddling clothes. "He's so beautiful," was all he could say. Maggy sat next to him with her arm around his shoulders, and together they showed the new baby who was beautiful and perfect in every way to Octavia.

"He's never seen anything like this," said Maggy who gave birth in royal isolation herself.

"We never did nothing like this in Ankh-Morpork," said Catrin as she sat next to Jutta knitting. "The midwife made Ivo go wait in the pub when our Pommy was born."

"How mean!" said Mark, as he held little Pommy up to see his new brother.

"It's really amazing, isn't it Great Grandpa," said Octavia as she made a quick count of fingers while little John Nicholas slept.

"Oi never knew," Ivo whispered, "Oi never knew it was like this..." then he kissed Maggy. "Thank you my dear. Thank you for sharing this with me."

"Don't thank me," said Magrat, "thank your granddaughter when she wakes up." And she gestured to Hollie who was asleep for the first time in days.

Realizing she had work to do, Octavia got a copy of the names from Marlon and promised to be back as quickly as possible, "I have to go get your little brother," and she stepped out into the courtyard and disappeared.

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"We need to go," said Exavier and he urged Finella down the ladder from the hay loft and onto the barn floor. "You heard my mom; we have to go."

"How do I know that wasn't the turtle?" she asked.

Exie knew that her family ran a temple that was part of a turtle worship cult, he didn't realize that they thought that A'Tuin spoke to people. "If it was the turtle you would have to go anyhow, right?"