Enchantress 2 - Warrior Duchess

"Let's play another game. This is my friend Eryri Brawnkin, her husband is Lars Ericson, and her son is Eric Larson. You told Eryri that you had Eric and Lars and were holding them securely until she helped catch an eagle for you, which she did. Here is our question, you got your eagle, where is Eric and Lars?"

Rifty looked very nervous, he was sweating profusely. "They're... they're safe and waiting for her at Schmaltzburg."

"That, I'm afraid, is the wrong answer," Octavia's voice was an angry growl and she continued, "Rifty, the correct answer was they died in a tunnel collapse in the Glory Pit. Eryri, he's all yours."

With a shriek of anger Eryri began punching, kicking, and hitting Rifty. Her cries of sorrow and longing echoed through the mountain valley as did the sound of fist hitting flesh and boot hitting ribs. "He may not live," said Granny.

"I promised her five minutes, let her have them... this is dwarven law."

"I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve it, but if she kills him, you have no way to find your husband."

"I can heal him back up so she can start kicking him again," said the duchess without a trace of emotion in her voice. The look that Octavia gave Granny let the witch know that she would heal him just to injure him over and over until her anger finally vented out. Granny realized that Octavia was angry enough to cause the dwarf enough torment to have him begging for death.

"What are you looking at?" shrieked Eryri at Rifty, "Look at me while I'm trying to kill you!"

Octavia turned around and saw that Rifty kept looking over to the river. The worn old collier was tied up along shore waiting for its next load and Octavia noticed another barge slowly working upriver, and it appeared to be covered with dwarves in battle armor. "Folks!" Octavia called, "We got company!"

As the barge pulled up alongside the collier, the watch on the collier decided to get out of the sun as the disc's sleepy little sun rose higher in the late summer sky. The watch, Rednar Royson, a wizen old dwarf, veteran of dozens of skirmishes with other dwarven clans, and also trolls, gnolls, goblins, banshees, and werewolves. Keeping an eye on an empty old barge was easy money and he was glad for the rest. Waving to the bargemaster of the dwarf covered barge, Rednar went down to the hold where he had a third of a nearly acceptable cigar hidden in the ribs of the hold.

Rednar chuckled, the human bargemaster of the old collier did not allow smoking on his old barge at any time. Foolish human, scoffed Rednar as he sank his teeth into the soggy stub of his cigar. It's coal! It's not like it's going to catch fire, coal takes a good hot flame to get its own combustion started. Rednar patted his pockets looking for his box of matches. His eyes burned from the ultra-fine coal dust floating in the air down here in the hold of this old barge, soon as he finds a match he can get this stub lit and head up on deck and go sit in the shade of a tree.

"HERE, USE ONE OF MINE," said a voice that was ancient when the universe was young. A skeletal hand shook a box of strike anywhere matches.

"Hey thanks buddy, you're all right. I didn't catch your name."

"I PREFER TO BE CALLED INEVITABLE."

The dwarf lit the match with a flick of his thumbnail and in the flare of the match Rednar saw the grinning skeletal features of the anthropomorphic personification of death in the light. It didn't concern him however, because the free floating coal dust caught fire immediately and the blast blew the upper deck of the collier over fifty feet in the air. The bank of the river reflected the lateral blast wave back into the new barge that had just pulled up alongside the collier and the blast shoved the new barge out into the middle of the river scattering dwarves in heavy armor throughout the Gjorgiev river.

The dwarves that were below deck on the new barge scrambled up on the upper deck and started pulling their flailing buddies back onto the barge. Even though dwarves cannot swim this was a bad move because the upper deck of the old collier came roaring back down out of the sky end on and hit the new barge amidships and sliced it cleanly in half. At its deepest the Gjorgiev River is five feet, and it would have been comical except at their tallest a dwarf is four feet and they cannot swim, and most were in full combat armor.

"BLOKES!" shouted Octavia, "GO GET THEM!"

The men of Four Ecks lay down their arms, raced to the river, and began plucking drowning dwarves out of the deeper water. The dwarf contingent of Octavia's army began hustling the rescued dwarves into the mine where they could change into dry miners coveralls. Soon sixty of the seventy five dwarves were rescued, ten drowned, and five were last seen clinging to scraps of lumber being swept downstream.

"My turn," said Octavia as she approached Rifty. The dwarf struggled against his ropes but he wasn't going anywhere. "Where is my husband?"

"I don't know."

Octavia placed the butt of her staff, Virga, on Rifty's stomach, there was a snap of magical discharge and Rifty shrieked in agony. "I'll ask again," said Octavia as Rifty's cries of torment abated, "Where is the father of my child?"

Rifty made a huge mistake and scoffed then said, "How can we be sure that the duke IS the father of..." Octavia place the butt of Virga on Rifty's testicles and gave him another shock. Rifty's screams of pain echoed off the mountain and rang in the ears of everyone in the area. Even in the deepest depths of the mine he could be heard. Above ground everyone that possessed testicles winced in sympathy of Rifty's agony, and Eryri noticed that of the thirty five dwarves above ground, ten didn't react. She planned to have a chat with her sisters later.

Octavia straightened and said cheerily, "there, all the damage I caused is healed, you're as good as new, you may have to go through puberty again but you're healed."

"The... the pain..." gasped Rifty though another wave of nausea inducing pain.

"Oh, I didn't take the pain away, I left it as a reminder, when someone asks a question it's less painful to answer it politely. Now, shall we try that again?" She placed the but end of her staff over his heart. "Where is my husband?"

"F-f-fuck you." There was a snap and blinding pain and through the worst agony Rifty could imagine, he saw a skeletal figure in black robes sitting on a tree stump sipping on a hot cup of tea. "Are you here to collect me?" he asked.

"OH NO, I'M HERE TO SEE A MASTER AT WORK. SHE IS QUITE INCREDIBLE."

"Incredible?"

"SHE WILL BRING YOU HERE TO THE EDGE AND SNATCH YOU BACK OVER AND OVER..." Death sighed in admiration, "I NEVER TIRE OF WATCHING."

Rifty was still screaming in pain when he recovered consciousness, "I don't know, I swear, I don't know..." with that he started to cry.

"Maybe you just forgot," said Octavia, her voice was neutral, devoid of any emotions. With a gesture of her hand the mine entrance suddenly sealed closed, in a moment it was healed over and any hint of mining activity was gone. "If it comes to mind I might remember how to release your people."

"You can't! There's almost two hundred..."

"Two hundred?" shrieked Octavia, "Your contract allowed thirty." She pointed to the dwarves that were tied up, "There's sixty five, you made a profit."

"You can't!" gasped Rifty, but Octavia wasn't listening to him, she clung to her staff with both hands, knuckles white from the grip that she used, her eyes closed and she was muttering silently, calling out to Nick wherever he was, "I'm coming for you darling."

Deep beneath the mountain something moved, rock began to be displaced as the object rose and began to move upwards. The mountain stopped fighting against it and moved out of its way as it rose, faster and faster. Solid rock pulling aside to let the detested orb go past and with an explosion of dust and rock fragments the sphere came into light for the first time in over a thousand years. Now it flew inexorably toward Octavia, nothing standing in its way. Several unfortunate trees were shattered into shards as the sphere hit them at the ten foot mark, sheering off the upper thirty feet until it gently came to rest in Octavia's outstretched hand.

"This is what you were looking for, but it was miles away on the turnwise end of the prominence in the Rkund Hold." Octavia began to examine the Eye of Knute, it was fascinating, it was like an eyeball made of onyx for the iris, lapis lazuli for the pupil, and ivory for the body of the eyeball. It floated and turned freely inside a sphere made of the purest crystal. She felt the power in the Eye of Knute as it looked around, trying to determine where it was.

"That's what this whole blue was about?" asked Bruce Kendall, unelected leader of the blokes from 'Way Over' as the natives like to call Four Ecks.

"This is supposed to give magical powers to the dwarves, but it doesn't work for them," Octavia handed the Eye of Knute to Eryri who turned it over and over in her hands but nothing happened. She shrugged and handed it back.

"It's pretty, maybe Horatio would have liked it."

"Who is Horatio?" asked Octavia.

"He's the young wizard Mr. Peregrine hired," said Eryri as she pointed toward Rifty.

Octavia pointed the Eye of Knute at Rifty and concentrated on the name Horatio and soon the Eye of Knute began ripping the memories out of Rifty's psyche. "A butt nugget? You SOLD my husband to a student wizard?" Octavia screamed at Rifty.

"He told me he graduated," said Rifty.

"You bastard," hissed Octavia as she placed the Eye of Knute to the top of her staff. "How does that feel?"

"I like it!" said Virga silently. "I can see!"

"Show him," said Octavia, "show him what he did to Eryri and me," and she lowered her staff and gently tapped Rifty's head with the Eye of Knute. Immediately Rifty curled up in agony, shivering, weeping, and muttering "I'm sorry," over and over.

Granny was shocked at the sudden change in Rifty Peregrine, he was weeping inconsolably and wouldn't let anyone near him. "What did you do to him?" demanded Granny. Her voice was a hiss that anyone in the Ramtops took as a dire warning, but Octavia didn't seem to care.

"I gave him the agony that he's put Eryri and I through," said Octavia as she tightened her grip on her staff. "Let's go look for Horatio Tinsmith," and Virga started to rise taking Octavia with her.

Oh no, this was worse than expected, Granny said to herself. She hopped on her broom but it had stalled and she was left hovering motionless about three feet off the ground. "Can somebody give me a push?"

Three of the blokes came and gave Granny a push and even with the lecture on where to place their hands, the blokes got her started and soon she was gaining altitude and catching up to Octavia. "Where are you going?" demanded Granny as she pulled up to Octavia.

"My tower."

Granny's worst fears were proven correct, an Enchantress is not a female wizard, an enchantress is a source of magic, a Sourcerer. {Wizards and witches use the magic that exists on the disc to perform spells, but a Sourcerer is a source of magic, there is nearly nothing she can't do, which explains her sudden expertise in a kitchen where the stove was never lit and cleaning laundry without using things like laundry soap, water, and a washboard}

Octavia ignored granny all the way up to the peak of Bear mountain where they landed on Octavia's little round wall that Nick could not get near. "What is this?" demanded Granny.

"This is my tower," said Octavia. Her voice was different, it was self-assured, strong, commanding... well, her voice always was those things except around Nick there was a delightful lilt of love mixed in, but now her voice was much more self-assured, strong, and commanding than normal. Octavia was planning to escalate this skirmish to a shooting war.

"You know what towers are for don't you?" demanded Granny. In the history of magical life on the disc towers were always for wars. The last remaining Sourcerer's tower on the disc is the Tower of Art on the campus of the Unseen University, but this! An entire mountain is her sourcerers tower, there's almost no place on the disc she couldn't attack from here.

"They're for being up high so I can find my husband," said Octavia as she stood Virga on the ground. Virga wandered around a little bit then found a hole cut in the stone floor and set herself in it nice and snug and began looking. The Eye of Knute began sweeping side to side and now Virga could see the entire discworld from here except the portions blocked by Cori Celesti, the ten mile high mountain where the gods lived. "Let's find the Unseen University," said Octavia.

Granny grasped the staff; she had planned to yank it out of the hole it was set in and throw it down the mountain but suddenly she could see what Virga and Octavia could see. She saw an empty lot that once contained a building, maybe two, but Octavia was looking at this lot fondly. Is this where children played their child's games? "Why are we looking at an empty lot?"

"That's where Nick and I met," said Octavia as she sniffed away tears of nostalgia. She looked at the lot that once contained a fire brigade and Nick emptied that lot of every single brick that was part of the wrecked building. She remembered sitting and watching him work so hard, not knowing the intellect that was hiding under than undisciplined mop of hair of his... before she started crying the scene shifted to a library where an ape was teaching a young girl to read Klatchian. "That's my dad and me in the library..."

"How long ago was this?"

"This is happening right now." Granny was confused but she remained silent and stored that question for later. The scene changed to a spacious office filled with hunting and fishing trophies.

"Here's the archchancellor." Mustrum Ridcully had a tiny hook in a small vice and was tying bits of fur and feathers to it to resemble well known discworld insects, "Mustrum!" she called. "It's me, Façade. I am looking for a student named Horacio Tinsmith."

"Tinsmith you say?" said Ridcully, "what did he do now?" Without looking up or waiting for an answer Ridcully shouted, "BURSAR!" When a tiny, nervous little wizard entered his office, Ridcully demanded, "Find me everything we have on Horacio Tinsmith." Then without looking up he said, "Be right with you Mr. Incognito."

"He knows you?" asked Granny.

"Oh yes, he was there when we were knighted, he was right behind you."

"But he doesn't seem to notice you're not there."

"In my position dear lady, you speak with quite a few individuals who are not all here. Most of them are faculty." Ridcully gave a few harumph types of laughs then the bursar came in and handed Ridcully a folder. "Ah yes, Horatio Tinsmith... difficult lad... we had him here two years ago, didn't finish his first semester." After a few harumphs he handed the folder back to the bursar.

"What happened?"

"He... he had discipline problems. It appears that he attempted to use wizarding to influence local politics. The patrician expelled him from the city of Ankh-Morpork wearing naught but feathers and a bit of tar. He is currently a student at Brazeneck College."

"Thank you Ridcully." The scene changed at dizzying speed and they were looking at Brazeneck College in Pseudopolis from above. As Octavia and Virga searched the college grounds, the mountain seemed to be getting taller, the stone wall they were standing behind was rising with them. Granny let go of Octavia's staff and realized that they were indeed going higher, the mountain was extending them upwards.

Down in the river valley Octavia's Army looked up and saw a red sphere engulfing the mountain top, from the tree line to far beyond the peak. "What is that?" Bruce asked Eryri.

"I think Octavia is angry."

The sphere began to change colors, from red, to orange, to yellow, then white. That's when the ground began to shake and a shrieking bellow filled the air, then with a roar the ball leapt into the air rising higher and higher, then it shot off hubwards by widdershins followed by a crack of thunder.

"What the hell is that Sheila doing?" asked Bruce.

"I think she just took a shot at Pseudopolis."

In the quad of Brazeneck College of Wizardry and the ground began to shake, students crossing from class to class looked up, it was just the start of semester and this is happening already? In the sky a white streak came at them from the Ramtops. As it sailed to them the students could see, far, far away atop a huge mountain a giant red ball was forming. The sky roared as the white ball descended aiming right at the college, growing closer and closer to the campus. Then with a silent explosion it hit the main gate to the college and covered it in some form of cement which covered the gate and flowed between the sections, oozed into the hinges and slithered under the gate, then the cement hardened so quickly a sickening crunch could be heard from the hinges. The gate was sealed, there was no way in or out of the school and a second ball was on its way. It was almost at the college when the thundering report from its launch could be heard.

This ball hit the head of the statue of Archchancellor Henry, the first {and current} archchancellor of Brazeneck College and drove the statue into the ground like a tent stake in muddy soil. All that remained of the statue above ground was the right arm of Archchancellor Henry that was holding a book to the heavens, now it looked it was carrying a pizza. {Future generations of student wizards would call this statue "An Ode to Extra Large Thin 'n Crispy" or "Pineapple Not Allowed"} As the students and faculty who saw that display of high end magic applauded, a voice was heard being emitted by every building. The audio response was perfect, wide frequency response, low distortion, and sound quality that would bring tears to the eyes of any audiophile. "Bring me Horacio Tinsmith!"

"Who?" asked the majority of the students. But the third year students knew him well. Braggart, drunkard, and suddenly he's got pockets full of money. Tinsmith was dragged out of his room where he was enjoying another drunken stupor and hauled by several underclassmen to the remnants of the statue of the Archchancellor. He was tied to the exposed arm of Archchancellor Henry's statue then his classmates backed away laughing and drinking expensive coffee from paper cups.

"Where is the eagle?"

Dazed and trying to come up with a wise-ass response that would get himself killed, Horacio shook his head and shrugged his shoulders and was about to say...

"DO NOT say "What Eagle?" Who did you sell the eagle to?" To punctuate the words that were threatening to puncture his ear drums the buildings shook, for a full minute after the voice stopped which impressed Horacio's fellow students.

"Whoa dude!"

"Somebody is pissed at you!"

"Uhhh... Agatean..."

"You sold a member of the Royal Court of Lancre to the Agatean Empire?"

This suddenly got very real, the underclassmen stopped hassling their classmate and started looking for a safe basement to hide in. "Yes?" said Horacio.

"How did you transport the eagle to Agatea?"

"L-Space," said Horacio. "They rebuilt their library in the throne room and..."

This time the shot from the mountain so far away was a beam that moved so fast they couldn't detect its speed. It wasn't moving at the speed of light, light is sloggy and slow on the disc, this was fast, almost instantaneous fast. It pierced the roof of the library and moved a shelf of books. And that was it. No thunder, no lightning, no pronouncement of doom or dire circumstances. A shelf of books was moved and cemented in place.