Enchantress 2 - Warrior Duchess

Fu ki looked at the dragon on the floor of his throne room with pride. "Cool dragon, huh?"

"ONE OF THE BEST THAT I'VE EVER SEEN."

"I hope I can keep him for my birthday, that would impress a lot of people!" said the boy emperor as Death cut the blue thread between the boy emperor and the goo that used to be his body.

"ACTUALLY, HIS APPEARANCE TODAY HAS IMPRESSED YOUR ENTIRE POPULATION."

The dragon gave one painful exhalation when his body hit the floor then his body shriveled and shrank and now he was just a man with blood pouring out of the stump of his leg. With a strangled shout Axemir grabbed a sash off of a curtain and a sword that was dropped by a soldier as they ran {they all remember what happened last time and ran appropriately} with these two pieces Axemir was able to apply a torniquet to the stump of Nick's severed leg and staunch the flow of blood. There were a few hangers-on in the gallery where once were almost a hundred advisors before Fu Ki had many of them executed for giving him advice he didn't want to hear.

Poor Prime Minister Lung Mist could barely understand what was happening, the shouting, tantrums, and demands were gone, peace began to settle over the throne room for the first time in over seventeen years {Fu Ki's father was a bit of an asshole also} Axemir and Lung Mist looked at each other in shock, their ears still ringing from previous tantrums. "What are you guys going to do?" asked Axemir, certain that cutting his head off was tops on the list.

"Umm... there is precedence over this," said Lung Mist, and he shuffled over to the library where he was almost run over by the crowd that followed Gaspode coming out of the library. Octavia dove for Nick who was lying face down in a pool of blood, Gaspode was licking his face trying to get him to wake up. Angua stepped out of the library and the scent of blood stirred the bloodlust in her body.

"My gods, all that blood, how is he still alive?" gasped Carrot.

Angua sniffed, "it's mostly someone else, Agatean, young, eight, possibly nine years old, O positive with an iron deficiency."

"He would never eat his vegetables," said Lung Mist.

Meanwhile Octavia was examining Nick's body, he was in shock, lost some blood, severely malnourished, "Who put this torniquet on him?" she called.

"I did," said Axemir.

"You did a great job! Thank you so much! Can you get me that talon off of the perch?" Axemir looked and saw that the talon was still clutching the perch, still wearing the purple ring. He pulled it off the perch and extended it to Octavia. "Thanks, but keep that purple ring, don't let it touch me or Nick... thank you."

Young Agatean men and women soon arrived with towels and hot water and began cleaning up Nick and the pool of blood. They rolled Nick over and one of the Bruces gasped, "What is that stuff on him?"

"That would be the former emperor," said Lung Mist.

Axemir, his clothes soaked with Nick's blood found a quiet corner to sit in and watch the frantic activity around Nick. Axemir prayed that Nick would survive, but if he didn't Axemir found he was too tired to fight the inevitable. If they want his head, they can take it. With shaking hands, he pulled out his tobacco pouch but his hands were shaking too much to roll one up.

Taking pity because she wasn't far from his condition herself, Eryri sat down next to Axemir and took his tobacco pouch and rolled a perfect stogie, which she put in her own mouth and rolled one for him. They shared a match and watched as Octavia moved away from Nick's leg showing that there was a foot at the end of both legs now. She curled up next to him whispering "we're together, it's over," and soon Nick showed signs of returning to consciousness.

"What happened here?" asked Eryri.

"The usual," said Axemir, "I get dragged into the throne room to be sentenced to death, instead I get put in charge of a pet bird that turns into a dragon that crushes the emperor then turns into the man I was supposed to have killed."

"I hate when that happens," said Eryri.

"My boss sent me to the assassins guild to put out a contract on them, but it cost too much, we couldn't afford either one and they demanded the contract contain both," said Axemir pointing at Octavia and Nick.

"Guild overhead," said Eryri.

"What about you?"

"I was nabbed by some dull pick {a truly vile dwarf insult} who said he had my husband and son and said he'd return them if I shot an eagle out of the sky," said Eryri as she pointed to Nick, who was now talking weakly with Octavia.

"What happened?"

"I brought him down. Third shot but I got him. He came down an eagle and stayed an eagle till now."

"What happened with your family?"

"Turns out he didn't have them, they died at a shaft collapse in the Glory Pit."

"Oh, gods I'm sorry, I was there not long after the collapse, it was awful... Gods! A move like that? It sounds like that night soil bucket Rifty Peregrine."

"That's who it was. I shoot the duke out of the sky and end up best buddies with his wife, who woulda thought?"

As Nick flickered to full consciousness he smiled up at Octavia, "Ye gods lady, we have to stop meeting like this!"

"You dick," she chuckled, "We got to get you cleaned up, you got blood everywhere still."

Just then Lung Mist arrived with a clip board and a quill and said, "If you could just sign here, please? Just a formality."

Nick and Octavia looked at the document and it looked like a chicken had walked through some spilled ink and danced on the page. They both shrugged and Nick signed and then he asked, "What did I just sign for?"

"The empire."

"WHAT?"

"It's just a formality, you killed the former emperor, you are now the new emperor. It's the rules, signing just makes it look official."

Nick looked up at Octavia, his eyes still swimming from loss of blood, "Empress Enchantress. The title looks good on you."

"Know what else looks good on me?" whispered Octavia.

"What?"

Octavia leaned over and whispered in his ear, "your cum."

"Oh my!" gasped Lung mist who had heard everything.

Nick gestured Lung Mist and another advisor Lǎo de Luózi in close, "Lung Mist, you are my prime minister, if anything happens to you I'll bring the dragon back, let everybody know that. Your first priority is ending this famine. Don't argue with me, I sat right there on that perch listening to everything that was said in this room. I know how much wheat and rice is in storage. If anyone has a problem with that they can speak to the dragon."

As the Bruces lifted Nick and carried him toward the library, Octavia, with the help of Carrot and Angua led the way. "We better go," said Eryri, but Axemir couldn't get up. A returning Agatean guard came over and helped him to his feet, then pulled off the gold face mask and Axemir recognized that face, or at least didn't recognize that face. It was a face that could hide in any crowd, a face so plain and average that it could never be picked out of a line-up. "Surprise!" chuckled the guard.

"Look," groaned Axemir, "I am so tired, I can't run anymore. If you're going to do it then just do it."

"What? And inhume the dwarf that just saved the life of the emperor of the Agatean Empire? You're a hero! I just want you to know that I'm on your protection detail now, ta ta!" and he replaced his mask and disappeared into the crowd of returning guards.

As they followed the Bruces into the stacks Eryri asked Axemir, "You looking for work?"

"I guess I am now, from what Carrot said, my whole company Peregrine and Aegir Mining is in prison."

"I'm running one of their mines for the Duke and Duchess, small mine, 30 dwarves tops, right now I have a dozen, we've all been screwed over by Peregrine and Aegir."

"Yeah," grinned Axemir, "count me in."

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Octavia should be having the best sleep of her life, it's been so long since she lay next to Nick and the baby was dancing up a storm, he would love to feel this but he was so weak! She keeps waking up to check his pulse. It's there, but it's weak. Damn it!

She got up and pulled on a robe then went downstairs and out the back to pee in the moonlight mostly for something to do. Gods! does she miss indoor plumbing. She experienced that in many of the foster homes she lived in as a child. She mentioned it once to Nick who laughed so hard he almost threw up. She never did ask him what he had pictured in his mind when she mentioned how nice it was to poop indoors. She's going to have to ask Nana peacock how this is overcome in the winter.

Climbing back up into their bedroom she saw a figure in black robes sitting in her rocking chair reading a book in the moonlight. "You almost scared the life out of me!" she almost screamed.

"THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION."

"Then what are you here for, who are you here for?"

"I HAVE A QUESTION THAT I HOPE YOU CAN HELP ANSWER."

Octavia climbed in bed with Nick and pulled the cover up. She knew that Death was an anthropomorphic personification of the concept of death, but it still felt weird to be naked in front of him. "What's your question?"

"WHEN YOU REMOVED NICK'S LEG HE STARTED TO FALL FORWARD, BUT HE FLAPPED HIS WINGS TO ADJUST HIS ANGLE SO THAT WHEN HE BECAME THE DRAGON HE WOULD LAND ON FU KI. THE DEATH OF FU KI SAVED COUNTLESS MILLIONS OF LIVES BY ENDING DECADES OF NEEDLESS FAMINE AND HE SAVED ME A LOT OF WORK."

"What is your question?"

"DID HE KNOW HE WAS GOING TO LAND ON FU KI?"

Octavia had heard that the rulers of the Agatean Empire used famine as a way to keep the masses cowed and politically ignorant, millions of people were dying intentionally, killed by their own government just to keep them scared. She took a deep breath and answered. "If he said yes he would admit to murdering one insane, poorly raised boy. If he said no he would be admitting that he almost let millions of people die because he refused to kill one underage madman, so he would never answer that question and I will never let anyone ask him."

"THAT IS WHY I ASKED YOU AND NOT HIM ."

Octavia looked at Nick and sighed, then she slowly nodded her head and whispered, "He knew."

"Who are you talking to dear?" mumbled Nick.

"I was just having a near death experience, now go back to sleep."

"ACTUALLY, I WAS HAVING A NEAR OCTAVIA EXPERIENCE."

"Tell him that joke is getting old," mumbled Nick as he drifted back to sleep.

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EPILOGUE

Five year old Marlon Worblehat-Stein was busy with Gaspode bring in the sheep, his momma said it was going to snow tonight and Octavia is right more often than she's wrong about the weather, so the sheep must come in. With Octavia watching Gaspode, Marlon, and Hollie eventually got the sheep out of the pasture and moving toward the pen.

The back of the critter shed had a semi-enclosed sheep, horse, cow, goat pen that covered a large piece of level ground with lush green grass and a shed that stored quite a bit of hay. All of their livestock can survive in that pen with an octarine fence protecting the livestock from the wolves and protecting the wolves from Mr. Grumpy their mule. Mr. Grumpy was named by Marlon when Marlon was 3 when he saw the then unnamed mule launch a full grown bobcat halfway across the pond with a single kick. "Why did he kick the kitty mommy?"

"Well dear, he was grumpy."

Now Marlon has a bobcat pelt rug on his bedroom floor and Mr. Grumpy isn't bothered with too much Ramtop wildlife even though Octavia was referring to the bobcat when she said, "he was grumpy." The mule wasn't grumpy, it was terrified.

In addition to a mule and a dozen sheep, the Worblehat-Stein family had a large horse of mixed parentage, one cow, two goats, a varying number of chickens and ducks, several cats, one dog and three gargoyles, Gula, little Gula, and new little Gula.

As the autumn weather grew closer to winter, Gaspode was training Marlon and Hollie on penning the sheep. Gaspode has been doing this six years and is quite good at it, except when he tries to get the sheep to walk in a straight line, something he has never been able to accomplish, but five-year-old Marlon and his three-year-old sister Hollie need training. "MARLON!" shouted Gaspode, "I chase the sheep, YOU point out the strays... HOLLIE! You don't need to pet every sheep, just the dog!" He looked up at Octavia who was watching and trying not to laugh. "Your puppies will never learn."

"That's what they told me about you." Octavia gave her "brother-in-law" a pat on the head and said, "let's get the puppies in out of the rain."

The gentle rain had begun to turn into snowflakes by the time they got all twelve sheep into the pen. It was Hollie's job to count the sheep as they entered the pen and when they asked her the total, her answer was always, "Sheep."

"You are so lucky you're cute," muttered Gaspode as Marlon closed up the sheep pen. Marlon and Hollie both had the dark hair and dark eyes of their parents and both were beautiful children. Marlon had the wild hair and the strong jawline of his father, Hollie had the flowing hair and the same dimples in her cheeks that grace her mother when Octavia smiles, which, now that life has settled down, is often.

Originally both Nick and Octavia were worried about raising children because neither has any siblings that they know of and both grew up alone unless you count Gaspode who Nick spent most of his childhood with. Octavia's only steady parent was an orangutan, the rest only lasted a few months at a time, and Nick's only memory of his father was being left on the curb by him and that memory only returns when he's emotionally agitated. Most young women on the discworld, regardless of species, knew about children through helping to raise siblings, cousins, or neighbors through babysitting jobs, but Octavia never had a sibling, cousin or neighbor to "learn on" so as Marlon grew in Octavia's womb, their terror increased.

After Marlon was born their fears only intensified, what do they do with him? They had all the book learning about raising children they could ever want to know, being book lovers, they read everything they could find, but they're not raising a book, they're raising a baby. Practical knowledge of what to do after Nick cuts the umbilical cord, they had none. So shortly after Marlon was born they invited Uther and Desdemona Borsen over for dinner, along with their redheaded twins Lynet and Guendolen. Guendolen, the twin that almost died, was a delightful little spitfire and it was nearly impossible to tell her from her sister. "Weren't you scared raising her?" asked Octavia.

"Terrified!" said Uther. "I couldn't sleep nights I was worrying so much."

"For about three weeks," agreed Desdemona, "then we realized that they weren't going to break." She patted her growing tummy, "We're hoping our witch, which saved Guendolen, will bring the girls a little brother to play with this time."

Marlon was a wonderful child, the only problem they had with him was that he often cried at night when he slept with them. One dark, tiresome night Nick had an idea and Marlon became so quiet so fast that Octavia was terrified that in his exhaustion Nick rolled over on top of the baby. She turned to look and saw a large tabby cat with one golden eye curled around Marlon, purring gently and Marlon sleeping soundly. Later Octavia and Nick decided that their fear of rolling over on Marlon was what was terrifying their child, but just to be sure, cats became a steady part of the household.

With the sheep in the pen and huddled together in the rain and not under the roofed section of the pen, the outdoor chores were done. Just as they turned to head back to the cottage Gaspode stopped and sniffed the chilling air. "Dwarves," he muttered.

Marlon looked about then off in the distance, obscured by the gently falling snow, he saw two dwarves walking toward them, "Uncle Axe!" Hollie also noticed the two figures coming out of the snow and she took up the cry, "Auntie Ru-ree! Auntie Ru-ree!" and the two children sprinted up the mountain side, dashing through the wet leaves, running with their arms open for their gods parents.

Axemir and Eryri soon had their "niece and nephew" hanging on their arms chattering happily as they escorted the dwarves down the mountain. "Look Uncle Axe, I'm almost as tall as you!"

"You're going to be as tall as your dad soon!" said Eryri.

"Dad's not very tall."

"Then it won't take you very long," said Eryri. Axemir roared with laughter at his wife's joke as they kicked the snow off their boots and entered the Worblehat-Stein cottage.

The cottage was frigid so Octavia stacked several logs on the fireplace andiron then went to the kitchen to pump a kettle full of water. When she returned to the fireplace the fire was crackling merrily and heating the cottage nicely even though no one saw her strike a match or do anything else to start the fire. Axemir and Eryri were always fascinated to watch Octavia perform her kitchen miracles, but Marlon and Hollie grew up knowing that their mom often forgot to use matches to light the stove, and quite often never lit the stove, especially on hot summer afternoons, but dinner was always served piping hot.

When Nick finally arrived home from the bookstore he found Gaspode curled up on Eryri's lap, and Hollie sitting on Uncle Axe's lap while Marlon was in the kitchen helping his mom prepare dinner. "How is my second favorite patient?" said Nick as he knelt at Eryri's feet. She rolled up the hem of her blouse and Nick began examining her distended belly.

"She's ready to let you get to work!" huffed Eryri. Dwarves carry their infants for fourteen months and Eryri and Axemir were tired of waiting. This was their first child together and they came down from their home in Rkund Keep, {the dwarven underground palace above the Rkund Hold where the Eye of Knute was buried for centuries} to stay in Nick and Octavia's guest house where Nick can deliver their baby.

"Is Gula all right?" asked Axemir. "She keeps saying ache." After Axemir got to know the human couple that he tried to hire the Assassin's Guild to "inhume," they became fast friends and Axemir has been fascinated with Gula and her ability to fall in any direction.

"AIK! AIK!" cried Gula from her perch high up on the chimney, just below her were two small gargoyles, Little Gula and New Little Gula both learning how to fall in any direction. On rainy days when Marlon and Hollie were trapped inside they played "catch" with New Little Gula who was having a tough time learning to fall up. "AIK! AIK!" cried Gula again from her upside down perch near the top of the chimney.

"She's saying egg," said Octavia from the kitchen as she peeked around the corner of the fireplace.

"Egg?"

"Yeah," said Nick nodding. "After we discovered that Octavia was pregnant with Marlon, we found a round, polished rock, it was pretty so we put it in a box to save it. After Marlon was born we heard a rattling from the box so we took a peek inside and in there we found the rock was split open and a tiny gargoyle was in there."

"When I turned up pregnant with giggles," said Octavia pointing at Hollie {who giggled} "we found a round polished rock on the mantle and after Hollie was born, the rock was split open and there was New Little Gula."

"So what's with them?" asked Eryri as she pointed to the mantle over the fire place where two perfect round, polished rocks sat gleaming in the candle light.