Enchantress 6 - The Reluctant King

The next day Nick came down to the dungeon and said, "I want to see the Felmet woman."

"Of course, your majesty," said Stan. "She has been screaming 'I hate this country' since she got here." He led Nick down a long dank, oddly silent, corridor to a cell at the end of the corridor. Stan opened the rusty lock and pushed the door open and there was Tudful Felmet held against the wall. During the night tree roots grew through the wall and wrapped around her arms and neck. The roots pulled her up against the wall and slowly, agonizingly they tightened their grip until the screaming stopped. They kept tightening until the breathing stopped. Her eyes were bugged out and her face swollen in death.

King Nick shrugged. "Looks like Lancre didn't like her either."

Nick emerged from the dungeon and the whole family was waiting for him, including Marlon and Annette. "Are you sure?" said Sergeant Pants.

"Yes."

"I'll get the carriage..."

"It's a nice day, we'll walk."

"But sir, security! We don't know if any plotters are still out there..."

"If you're scared you can stay here."

Reziko closed his eyes, they lost so many guards that they couldn't afford Reziko to leave, but the king requested that he provide his security. "Let's go," said Reziko with a sigh. The walk wasn't far, they ended up in a nice little neighborhood at a house with a dozen garden gnomes, real garden gnomes. Exavier and Gwendolyn threw themselves on the ground to talk to the little gardeners as Nick knocked on the door.

"Come in," called from inside. Nick and Octavia stepped into a living room cluttered from years of collecting amazing little things. In the rocking chair sat Nanny Ogg, she was over 90 years old but looked over a thousand. "It's me Nanny, I got the one that got Sean, I got the one that led the plot."

She grabbed Reziko's hand, "You did Rezzi? You got the one wot killed our Sean?"

"I did Nanny, I put her in the dungeon in the lowest cell we have."

"Ya think that new king is going to hang her?"

"I don't have to," said Nick. Nanny turned in his direction, a half-smile on her face let him know she remembered his voice. "Lancre got her. I found her dead this morning, roots wrapped around her neck and choked her slowly."

"Who was it?" asked Nanny as she reached for Nick's hand.

"Tudful Felmet."

"That bitch! Pardon my Klatchian but that bitch cost us two kings, and now the name Verence dies." Nanny sighed then patted Nick's hand. "How's my favorite witch with a tallywhacker?"

Nick chuckled for the first time in days, "I got a new job lined up."

"I heard that," she laughed. "What'cha gonna do now that you're the king?"

"I'm going to require that fifty percent of all witches are male, or at least know a male... if ya know what I mean."

"I knew better than ask."

Nick grew silent and clutched at her hand. Finally, the choked words came out, "Nanny... thank you so much for sharing your Sean with us. He was a great man, and he served his king and country with pride, dignity and honor and I... I..." He was trying desperately to keep it together.

Octavia bent in close and said softly, "we all loved him, he was good with our children, and we felt safe in his castle. If there is anything you would like, just ask us, anything at all..."

Nanny too was on the verge of tears, but she knew it could happen, and she never dreamed she would have a king in her living room kneeling at her side. "There is one thing you can do that I would like," and she gestured him close. He leaned in and she whispered in his ear.

"A duck?" asked Nick in shock.

"I was just seeing if you was listening," chuckled Nanny, "come here," and she whispered in his ear again.

When she was done he pulled back and smiled, "That's a great idea Nanny... I'll do it."

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The coronation ceremony was something out of a storybook, but then so are candy cottages, wicked witches, and roasting children in ovens. There was everything that great storybooks need, a cast of odd and fascinating creatures in attendance is mandatory. There were witches and wizards, trolls and goblins, dwarves and ogres... {not an actual ogre, but Morty Leadbelly, a dwarf who ran a sand and gravel pit in Quirm was considered an ogre by his employees} There were kings and queens in attendance, emperors and empresses, tyrants and vampires, leaders that were selected, and leaders that were elected. The only thing missing was Nick.

"Where is your father?" demanded Octavia.

"He said he'd be in his study," said Marlon as he tugged his uniform into place. He hasn't been able to eat properly since the battles of Creel Springs and Lancre Castle and he had lost a lot of weight. However the uniform he pulled on was made for him by his mother and once in place, the loose, oversize uniform tailored itself to perfection. Immediately after his father's coronation, Nick was going to pass the title of Duke of Wægn on to him.

"Hollie, go get your father."

"Why me?"

"You're the only one he'll listen to. GO!"

Hollie dashed down the stairs which led straight to her father's study. She stepped into a large room that looked warm and inviting, it was a replica of the Bare Bear pub in Lancre. In fact there was a gang of the Usual Suspects as Octavia calls them. Ena McCrory was tending bar; her dad Trei was leaning on the bar watching Nick throw darts against the head farmhand Dexter who was now the Palace Grounds keeper. Several other friends from Creel Springs were in attendance to take their turn at the dart board. "Dad! Mom was ready to call out security on you!"

"I've already beat him."

"He kicked my ass," muttered Preston Prescott into his pint. Preston was now head of security for the Kingdom of Lancre.

"LET'S GO PEOPLE!" yelled Hollie as she started swatting at them with her broom. She chased the whole crew up the stairs and chased her father into their bedchamber where Octavia trimmed his beard short with a pass of her hand and tamed his hair the same way.

"Let's go your majesty, your kingdom awaits," she said as she fitted the brand-new eye patch on him.

"I'd rather stay here and fuck," which caused Ning to break into an expectant grin.

"Later my king, now let's go," urged Octavia and they headed through the empty halls to the main hall, and it was packed with well-wishers and observers. Nick saw Dexter taking his seat next to Aelwen McLeish, a comely widow whose husband Ian passed away several years ago. She had been making eyes at Dexter for a while now.

"I don't like crowds," said Nick as two handlers began putting a huge heavy cape on him. "I want to go home."

"You. Are. Home," sighed Octavia for the thousandth time.

"Scepter!" cried the Prime Minister, Marquis Vernon Wynne. "We don't have a scepter." The scepter that was used by previous kings was stolen by a mercenary who used it as a weapon to brutally murder a cook and probably more during the invasion and Nick refused to touch it.

"I have a scepter," said Nick and he took Octavia's staff. "Ready for your royal debut Virga?"

If it had a mouth the staff would be smiling, "In a moment your majesty," and Virga closed its huge eye and slowly turned to gold. "Ok, I'm ready."

"Good man... er... stick. Just follow us."

At the appropriate time the orchestra began to play a processional and Nick began to walk up the aisle followed by Virga, then by Octavia and Ning, then by Marlon and Annette. Nick and Marlon wore the usual red jacket with tails, silver waist coat, and blue trousers, Octavia was wearing a beautiful white and blue gown, Ning wore the red and gold of Agatea, and Annette wore a gown similar to Octavia's. They took up position on the dais as the prime minister Marquis Vernon Wynne stepped forward then silence reigned as the Prime Minister read out a citation that Nick knew nothing about.

"On June fifteenth, year of the Harmonious Rabbit, Ning Hau Chung, mother to the emperor of the Agatean Empire stepped into Nick and Octavia's bookstore in Creel Springs and saw an attack underway. She dashed back to Hunghung City and immediately gathered five hundred of the empires crack troops and led them through the mysteries of L-Space and into battle. The troops filled the streets of Creel Springs and rounded up all insurrectionists saving Creel Springs. Then they traveled to Lancre Castle and surrounded all of the attacking forces. Twenty Five of the troops paired up with the remaining Lancre forces and swept the castle clean and when they were done every Agatean troop returned to their home. Lady Chung, for your courage and loyalty we award you the King's Medal of Courage and proclaim you a hero of the Kingdom of Lancre."

The assembled audience rose and applauded wildly as the former queen, Magrat Garlick placed the brightly colored ribbon with the large shining medal on Ning's neck. She was shocked and didn't know what to do but Nick turned toward her and said, "Thank you for saving my country," and bent low and kissed his lover's cheek.

"We're even now," she whispered.

When silence returned Vernon Wynne read out another citation:

"On June fifteenth, year of the Harmonious Rabbit Pommeraie de la Montesquieu Worblehat-Stein Duke of Wægn and Marlon Pommeraie Worblehat-Stein responded to the attack on the Kingdom of Lancre. Lancre was attacked on multiple fronts by multiple armies of mercenaries. For conspicuous bravery in the face of deadly enemy actions, for saving untold number of lives and repelling enemy attacks under overwhelming odds in Creel Springs and in the Royal Palace, we present you with the Lancre Medal of Honor," and he placed a golden ribbon over Marlons neck, from that ribbon dangled the highest honor in their land.

Then the Prime Minister stepped up to Nick and placed the ribbon and medal on Nick's neck, his third LMH. "Gods damn it Pommy..." started the Prime Minister quietly. "Let the young kids fight our fights now."

"That's not how I roll Vern."

"I know," he shook Nick's hand. "Thank you my friend."

A priest from the local Temple of the Small Gods stepped forward and read a long boring prayer/speech/sermon and then it was time. Guided by her mother, Princess Esme stepped up to Nick and placed the simple crown on his head and crowned him with the name that Nanny Ogg suggested.

"I crown you King Verence the Third."

This was Princess Esmirelda Margaret Note Spelling of Lancre's first public appearance in many years and it was a shock to all assembled, she has been out of the spotlight since the deaths of her brothers. Usually, the coronation was handled by some boring official but she wanted to do it so Nick said, "She will do it. No Esme, no Nick." He, Magrat, and Esme practiced over and over and when the time came, she did it perfectly.

As the assembled multitude rose and applauded wildly for King Verence the Third, Esme smiled and said, "Daddy is happy," and she gave her new brother a kiss on the cheek.