English Pub Landlady Ep. 15

Things can never remain unchanged. In the last few years there has been a subtle shift in the village. The most disturbing thing was the fact that the troubles of the outside world had found their way in. People are not quite as close or get as close as they did before. It took a long time for all my customers to return to the pub.

Somehow, the word slowly spread among the village women that I took an interest in and could be trusted with the secrets of theirs and their forebears sex lives. Ladies, young and old, would tell me their stories.

Mostly, it was fairly ordinary stuff from the past. When they'd been fingered, when they'd been fucked. When they'd been fucked when they should have just been fingered. When they'd been fingered when they'd really wanted to be fucked.

They told me what their husbands did that the women didn't like. What they didn't do that they would have liked. They even told me things that they normally wouldn't want anyone to know they liked.

Every so often I would hear stories that shocked me. In a few cases I would hear stories that excited me. I know you're not really interested in that sort of thing but I may write them down anyway. I suppose that I could also include periodic updates on any other goings on in the village too, if you like?

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One sunny summer's morning I was making my way back to the pub from the tearoom. Somehow, I'd got myself involved in a sort of improvised coffee morning with Helen, a couple of ladies from the W.I, and the new Vicar's wife. I'd asked for tea. Everyone knows that I only drink tea. I'm not sure how but I ended up taking a mouthful of coffee. I needed a wee. There is a small toilet in the tearoom but no-one uses it because everyone can hear you pissing. I must get my builder to do something about it.

Harry was off playing golf with Gerald. At one time I had absolutely no idea about golf but, during the first lock-down, Harry had spent a lot of hours patiently explaining the whole thing to me. What they were trying to achieve, the history, the subtleties of the game. Now, I still have no bloody idea why people play it.

Just as I was pushing open the garden gate a voice said, "Have you got a minute?" It was Farmer Norman's widow, Dorce.

"Sure, come in and take a seat. I won't be long. I need the loo badly," I replied quickly.

She started to explain that she often had the same problem but I didn't have time to listen.

When I got back Dorce was seated in one of the garden chairs in a sunny part of the garden. "Sorry about that," I said, "how are you doing these days?"

I knew the answer, "Not very bloody well!"

It was a stupid question. Dorce had lost Norman in the first wave.

"You know dear, some days are better than others", was her actual answer.

"I feel happier now that I've given up the lease on the farm and I've settled in nicely with Alice and Lis. Me renting a room with them helps us all out. Norman had a good life insurance and some shrewd investments so money is not one of my problems," she went on.

"That's one of the downsides to living in a little village, when you have your heart broken everybody knows. They try to be kind but that's not always what you need. You just want to be treated normally"

"I'm forgetting my manners, would you like a drink?" I said.

"Lemonade would be lovely, dear," she replied.

Dorce is in her early seventies and still has a natural beauty. By all accounts she had a stunning figure when she was young. That is probably local slang for a fat ass and big tits with an obvious waist.

I put the two glasses on the table. "Anyway, is there something I can do for you?" I asked her.

She thought for a minute and then said, "Well, actually there is. Lis tells me that you're a good listener and that you don't judge women badly.

"I dearly want to share my story with someone. The Alices are lovely but they are terrible gossips. I suspect that if I tell you things that are a little shocking they would be safe with you."

I reassured her, "Village ladies have told me their stories from time to time. I usually write them down and hide them away."

"That's just what I was hoping for," said Dorce.

I think that Dorce is short for Dorothy but I've never heard her called anything else.

"It's quite a long tale, do you have the time now?" she added.

"It's fine, I have at least four hours. I can do us some lunch later if we need a break," I said.

"Well here goes. As you may know Norman and I were married for nearly fifty years. I know that everyone thinks that their love story is unique and special but in lots of ways ours was, I loved him every day that I knew him. Right up until I was in my middle forties our love life was good. Just good.

"Early on we went at it hammer and tongs. We did nearly everything that a couple could do together. The only thing that I wouldn't do was take it up the bum. Eventually, things became more of a routine Saturday night sort of thing. I still enjoyed it but it was a little predictable.

"As I say, when I was in my mid forties and Norman was nearly fifty he was approached by the Agricultural College. Would he take part in a placement scheme they were running? They wanted to give students real life farm experience once they had qualified. The college would send two or three eighteen year olds to spend a couple of years working on our farm.

"Norman jumped at the chance. There was a grant to pay most of their wages so they were cheap labour.

"The first three lads were great. They were pleasant and hard working.

"The only slight drawback was having lads about the place made Norman revert to the ladish ways of his youth.

"He insisted that they all came to the farmhouse on Saturday nights to drink beer, get drunk and be silly. I didn't mind it at all. I would serve snacks and make sure there was plenty of ale. All four of them would tease me and even play the odd practical joke. I quite liked it all really.

"Fairly soon it became usual for them to watch a saucy film on DVD. I've always been fairly broad minded so I had no objections. Pretty soon they became proper full on hard core porn movies. I learned a lot.

"As I was dishing out the drinks the lads would occasionally cop a handful of tit or ass. I didn't discourage them nor did Norman. It didn't take too many Saturdays before Norman started fucking me while the lads wanked.

"Each week they got a little closer until at last they would finish off by spunking all over me while Norman was giving me one. I know it's not for everyone but I enjoyed it and took it as a compliment.

"Once or twice, when we were alone, he said that we should let the boys go all the way with me but I insisted that it would be going too far.

"Eventually, Norman suggested that I dress up in a costume to suit whatever the theme of this week's film was going to be. Everyone was so keen that I just went along with it.

"The first week I dressed up as a french maid. It went perfectly with the film. There was no way that I was ever going to wash the stains out of the dress. Norman said it was a small price to pay. Showering the spunk from my tit and arse and out of my hair was easier.

"The following week I was a police woman. When the film had finished, Norman used a truncheon in my fanny before fucking me. Another outfit ruined.

"When Norman wasn't farming he would spend his spare time in his workshop. He was a bit of a dab hand with anything mechanical. Sometimes he would fix farm equipment but often he would just make things that amused him.

"A particular favourite outfit of mine was the nurse's uniform that I had to wear one week. I ended up with me getting a vaginal douche before being fucked. It was a shame but the costume had to go in the bin.

"During the following weeks, I went through a wide range of costumes. They got a big surprise when I was dressed as a school mistress. Norman and lads thought that it was my lilywhite bum that was going to get canned. Instead, I became very bossy and gently gave them all six of the best.

"One afternoon during the week, Norman wanted to show me something he'd made in his workshop. This was quite usual, I often had to show my appreciation of a piece kit that he'd made or modified, even though I had no idea what it was or what it did.

"He whipped the cover off and asked me what I thought. I appeared to be one of those chairs that you have to sit/lay in at a gynaecologist: complete with the stirrups to put your feet in that keep your legs apart.

"A sort of track ran from under it which had a big electric motor on the end. There was a kind of disk on it. This had a long rod attached to it that went back towards the seat.

"On the end of the rod, resting on the seat was a massive rubber cock. I say cock but I have no idea what it was modelled on. Whatever it was, it wasn't human. It was a really strange shape with a slightly flared end and lots of prominent veins on it. It was black at the bottom and pink at the tip.

"I asked Norman what the hell it was. He said that it was a love machine. There was a controller next to the seat which Norman switched on. The motor started to turn slowly. As the disk rotated, the rod and giant cock moved backwards and forwards.

"Call me stupid if you like but it took me a few seconds to realise what the purpose of the contraption was.

"As Norman slightly twisted the knob on the controller the machine gained a little speed.

"He asked me if I wanted to hop on and give it a try. I told him that I bloody didn't. I was quite happy with the size of his dick, thank you very much. Norman looked a bit deflated as I walked out of the workshop.

"When I thought about it over the next few days, I felt that I should have let him down more gently. He'd gone to a lot of effort to make the thing. The thought of the giant cock was quite exciting but I was sure it was much too big for me."

I brought Dorce out of her reminiscing by saying, "It may be a good time to take a lunch break now. Do you want cheese and pickle or chicken and coleslaw in your sandwich?"

She didn't eat all of hers but she didn't complain about it either so I guess my cooking must be improving. Lately, whenever I ask Harry what her fancys for dinner he usually says that he had something at the club. But, if I suggest that we eat out, he's always quite keen.

We'd hardly finished lunch before Dorce carried on with her tale, "Well anyway, the next Saturday night Norman had plied me with a couple of Rum and Cokes before I went upstairs to put on this week's costume. I didn't know what was causing it but I was already feeling a bit randy.

"I laughed when I took it out of its box. It was a latex Holstein cow outfit, you know the classic black and white ones. I slipped into it. There were holes big enough for my tits to poke through. It also had an additional set of udders made of rubber at stomach level. Below the tail was a gap that left my fanny exposed. A hood with ears and horns completed the whole thing.

"You can imagine the reaction of four dairy farmers when I walked into the room.

"Everytime I bent over to serve a drink of place crisps on a table someone would try to hand milk me; either the rubber teats or the real ones. It was fun. They slapped me on the rump. One of the lads thought that they should use the cattle prod on my ass. They use an electric one on the cows to make them move. I gave him a dirty look.

"The naughty boys kept topping my drink up and insisting that I drink up. By movie time every part of my fanny was twitching. I didn't know what was causing it but it felt like I had the electric cattle prod up there.

"In keeping with the costume, the blue movie was very agricultural. A slightly plump woman of about thirty was led into a barn. She was wearing a cow costume just like mine. She was fastened to a metal frame so that she was bent forward with her tits dangling straight down; they were huge. An industrial sized milking machine was attached to her teats and the pump switched on. She didn't appear to be pregnant but she must have given birth in the not too distant past because the suction cups immediately showed signs of drawing milk.

"Over the following forty minutes or so a continuous line of agricultural workers, with a variety of dick sizes, took turns rumping her from behind. Sometimes in these films the actresses make a half-arsed attempt at feigning pleasure. As far as I could tell his girl wasn't an actress and she was genuinely enjoying each fuck. Every so often she would make mooing noises. I don't know if they were inseminating her and milking her on a commercial basis but by the time everyone had serviced her quite a lot of milk had been collected.

"By the time the film finished, I was hornier than I'd ever been in my whole life.

"I shouted at Norman. Why do I feel so fucking horny?"

"Norman coolly informed me that one of the lads wondered what would happen if they gave the hormone, that they give to the cows to make them responsive to the bull, to a woman.

"They had been adding it to my drinks all night long.

"I knew that I was going to be angry later but right then my only mission in the whole wide world was to get fucked rigid.

"I told Norman that he had better fuck me. He said he would pass for the time being.

"Turning to the lads, I demanded that they all roger me. They said that Norman told them that it was forbidden.

"My fanny was screaming out for sex. I begged them all to fuck me.

"Then Norman told me that I could always use the machine in the workshop.

"I was across the yard in a flash. Before the fluorescent lights had fully come on, I was in the chair with my feet in the stirrups. Sliding forward, I gripped the monster cock about six inches down the shaft. I didn't know if I would take it but I put the head against my entrance and wriggled towards it. Because I was in such a state it went in easier than I expected.

"Flicking the switch on the controller brought the machine to life forcing more of the unhuman penis into me. It was about eighteen inches long. I had at least twelve of them inside me before the machine slowly withdrew. I managed to wriggle down another couple of inches before it started on its return journey.

"As I twisted the control knob slightly the speed increased. I was ready for it. Really really ready for it.

"Then I increased the speed.

"And then again. It was flying. So was I.

"Throwing my head back, I was completely in the moment. Nothing else in the world existed.

"The pressure inside me just kept building. I gave one final twist of the speed control. It could go no faster.

"Then the first orgasm hit me. I could feel my toes curling as it ripped upwards and outwards from my clitoris. The machine didn't care at all. It just kept on relentlessly.

"The second orgasm struck. At the same time, spunk hit me from four different directions. I wasn't aware of the audience arriving. I hadn't been aware of anything but the fucking I was getting.

"Someone slowed the machine and then it stopped. Bloody cheek, I thought.

"My feet were removed from the stirrups and I reluctantly wriggled upwards off the giant cock. Eventually, it left me with a plop sound as I felt some trapped air escape.

"All four of the men helped me from the seat. I was covered in spunk. As I was handed a wipe, I told them to leave it. I'd earned it.

"Saturday nights were never the same after that. I still dressed up. We still watched the films. But now they all fucked me. Occasionally, one of the lads would still spunk over my ass or tits just for old times sake. Norman only ever shagged me once each time but the youngsters always had sloppy seconds and sometimes thirds. When I was sure that they had all had enough, I would take myself off to the workshop for a go in the machine. By that time I slid onto it easily.

"Every couple of years the lads would change as the others moved on. We just started the whole process over again. Several weeks of being spunked on followed by the Hormone prank. Then twenty months or so of being a royally fucked.

"This went on for nearly twenty years. When I got into my early sixties I told Norman that it was probably time to stop. He reluctantly agreed. We both knew that we weren't getting any younger. When the latest bunch of lads left, we went back to a slightly more normal sex life. Before you ask, Norman converted the machine into a saw for cutting up logs.

"Mind you, a couple of years ago, Norman came back from some sort of a birthday do with the idea of building a wooden frame affair in the barn and having every man in the village fucking me while I was strapped to it.

"I told him not to be so foolish.

"The thought wouldn't quite leave my head. Later in the week, Norman was working in the barn. I went in and hitched up my skirt. I bent over an old tractor tyre. It took a little while but he finally got the message and gave me a very nice rumping.

"Shame the new lads were working out in the far field that day. But it was probably for the best."

There was a long silence so I presumed that Dorce had finished her story.

"Would you like some more lemonade? I don't know about you, but my mouth is a little dry," I said.