All Comments on 'Equilibrium'

Lance sorta came out of nowhere, aside from that this was pretty good.

I honestly don't know why these 750 word things are so popular. It takes a great author to write a good story in so few words. This, as are most, was mediocre at best. 3 stars.

Obvious decision on not taking them in. He owed them nothing

Once burned, twice shy. MC did the practical thing to prevent additional baggage from being loaded on his back. In addition he prevented a bunch of grief from and for his new wife. There are places Randi and her kids could go in a pinch. Perhaps Lance's wife will be understanding. - TANSTAAFL

Up until the end I thought yes good story. But after the Social worker brought the ex-wife and her kids to the house then surely compassion says "OK one night".

Put them into one room together then proceed to screw the shit our of the Filipina wife.

Then in the morning start talking to get closure as to why she considered her ex a better catch.

Meanwhile I track the wife beating arsehole and when he is let out on bail put him back into another institution. Yes a Hospital. And every time he is released form Hospital put him back in there a few days later.

This was a great outline for a story. It's a shame it wasn't fleshed out into a full size version.

Everyone got what they deserved!

5

Lol “nope” , that dear Griscom was funny . I enjoyed this little tale very much , good work !

It was a five till you dissed Ayn.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 If she was stupid enough to go back to the spousal abuser then he is smart enough to let her go. No take backs 🤣

Sweet revenge

End was superb.

Well written

GREAT

The x got what she wanted SCREWED over

where's the story? this was more of a vague idea to a story...

Lame

The perfect ending...4*

The kids didn't nothing wrong. Up til then the rating was higher than a 3*

"Nope" was an outstanding answer.

i don't normally care for 750 word stories. I understand it takes a certain talent to write them but they are too short and seem to leave a lot of information out. This one broke the mold. It was very well done and garnered five stars from this reader

Short. Sweet. Wham-bam.

That was absolutely brutal.

It is the children I am sorry about.

But it is his kids and they always liked their real dad better...

when he's not beating them.

That was fun.

Ok, a bit of a fantasy,

but not that far fetched.

And some fine writing too.

Perfect for a cold winter's day.

Top ratings from me.

"The home equity loan advance went into one of my personal bank accounts." - The equity loan makes no sense, since it would have to be paid off from the proceeds of the sale in order to close on the house, so he'd simply net less on the sale of the house.

Wished it was longer 😡😡

I guess she learned the hard way that a leopard can't change its' spots. You reap what you sow.

A bad flash.

Hard for me to give a 5 for these 750 wrd project, but a solid 4*. Loved the "No" at the end...

Just not very good. At all. Author probably a 14 year old.

The ending was hilarious. Perhaps he should have read the social worker the entire John Galt speech. ;-)

Exactly what should happen to dumb people who cheat. Horrible decisions often times reap horrible consequences.

Thank god this was a short one.

Not that believable, but very fun to imagine. The thing I always wonder about is that public affection the neighbors can see, or a strange car in the driveway, always seem to go unnoticed or unreported. This was noticed, but not reported by a friend. Still, that just made the revenge all the more enjoyable.

Nice. Made its points and got out. That rates a 5. Or, put another way, 2/3 of 1% per word.

"I sometimes hit her, but only spankings when she begged, and not that hard."

.

What's that mean, "I sometimes hit her"? It's oddly placed in that sentence, so I can't tell if you hit her occasionally AND spank her, or what.

.

I'm hoping it's just a very poorly worded sentence. It sounds like you smack her around every now and then to teach her a lesson or something, when what you might be trying to say is that the only time you hit her is when she begs to be spanked.

.

And how do you get a home equity loan on a house you're selling?

Had the makings of a good story but lacked something regarding the relationship. A confrontation would have improved the story.

3 stars.

1 Star

Trash.

-26thNC

26thNCuck must be a bottom feeder that is trolling stories on here.

Or maybe it is a she and she used to be with 26thNC and found out that her plans didn’t go as she expected......lol.

Oh well even demented losers need a place to vent.

Hey, 26thNCuck...... breathe in breathe out .........there you go, it will be alright.........no it’s not your fault.......and for 300 to 500 an hour you can find someone to prove it is some else that is responsible for your actions and plight........so, breathe in breathe out.......there all better now? HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

… and that’s how you deal with a XW. You keep them as EX’s. 5/5

What an absolute asswipe to abandon the kids like that. While she may deserve what she got the kids are still innocent. Lost all respect for the man after that.

Anonymous about 3 hours ago

I honestly don't know why these 750 word things are so popular. It takes a great author to write a good story in so few words. This, as are most, was mediocre at best. 3 stars.

Instead of complaining about 750word stories, try writing one.

26thNCuck about 2 hours ago

1 Star

Trash.

-26thNC

I'm sure you would rather have had the MC sucking Fred's cock and paying him to fuck Randi in front of him, but that would have been in one of your stories, but you don't write do you?

@sbrooks103x

"The home equity loan advance went into one of my personal bank accounts." - The equity loan makes no sense, since it would have to be paid off from the proceeds of the sale in order to close on the house, so he'd simply net less on the sale of the house.-

Really doesn't matter. Only a nitpicker would care.

3. I know it was meant to be short but I felt there was a great story in there that didn't deserve such an abrupt story.

Wow. This was abysmal. At least try and make it somewhat believable. Sold the house but she didn’t know about it? In one afternoon? And if she did know, then she would have fought against it and you wouldn’t be able to kick her out. Home Equity loan advance? Umm, no. There is no title on a lease. Emptied all the accounts? Jail for you when you came back to the states.

At least expend a little effort.

1*

Have to agree with Just_words, not too believable, but still a good premise for a story. Also I assume the “sometimes hit her...” meant you spank her when she asks you to do it and it was attempt at humor, otherwise, that’s fucked up.

Good short story with a happy ending. It was short enough that 26thCuck might have read it, but that’s a long shot. Loved it Mr Griscom.

Short sharp to the point I bet the wife and kids regreted going back to the arsehole wife beater.

Awesome story for 750 words! Great job.

Short and to the point but it didn't get anything more than a boo-hoo-hoo.

A really bad Readers Digest condensed version of a BTB story.

You hit point A, point B along with C and D but there was no journey in between.

That said, if LimpdickNCuck doesnt like it, it must have some redeeming value.

I wouldnt refer to kinky sex spanking as hit in a story where the ex is physically abused

It would have been much more interesting if it had been the ex wife and the kids knocking on the door. The "Filipina" wife would have made them welcomed, because that is what real people do for people with real hardship. But that would have only lasted until the Filipina wife had sorted out the ex wife's and her children's situation, counseled them on how to get their food clothing and shelter needs met, determined if the wife had wised up and cared about her children, and then continued to help implement a plan of rehabilitation. Or, if the wife was terminally stupid, the Filipina wife would have thrown the dumb bitch out and contacted social services to take charge of the children until someone with a brain could be found to care for them. And if might even have been the Filipina wife if her husband was on board. Otherwise, No. OK, more than 750 words. But who says a great plot idea has to be stunted by some arbitrary deprivation. Still, thanks for the effort. And Thank God for Filipina women!.

Ayn Rand--you hit that fountain on the head.

Great story 5/5

Where's the angst? Really who cares for this character.

5-stars

well told, no drama just action no nitpicking here 5*****

@Anonymous Re: Spankings - "I sometimes hit her, but only spankings" The hits were only spankings, seems pretty clear to me.

\

As for the home equity line, it was obviously taken out before the house was actually sold, and it might be nit-picking, but since it was especially mentioned, the author obviously meant for it to seem that he was getting more money, but he wasn't.

Short and nasty. Loved it.

Could use a "750 word project" warning at the beginning.

@Dry_opinion - Story description: "Regaining balance for the 750-Word Project." How much more warning do you need?

I know it's fictional tail. it sounds like she used him as a meal ticket and space filler till ex-husband got out of jail. The way current husband handle it was fitting for someone that had been taken advantage of.

She should have remembered that "what goes around, comes around" as it did in this case. LP

Ok. I gave it a 5. But I do have a comment, on some of the other comments left here. In most of these stories, the ( happily married?) wife is seduced by a boss or co- worker, who puts alot of time and effort into it.

In this story, I agree that the husband was only a “ placeholder” until her real man got out of prison. Believe it or not, it is quite common for divorced/ unattached women with kids, to marry a guy until the kids get out of the home, then dump him. It actually happened to my nephew.

In this case, I do not believe the ex husband is the bad guy. ( except for his abuse) Wifey did not fall into drunken temptation on a business trip, with a skilled seducer. This was all pre- planned, by the wife. THAT is why her and the kids, did not deserve a night in his house. As Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald’s corporation said, “ you reap, what you sow” . Deal with it!

5 stars. I love the 750 word project. It eliminates the long back story filler that so many Loving Wives stories feel compelled to include. By the way, I just got back from Dubai and the lovely Filipina wife part is no stretch.

Glad the dickhead beat her useless ass again lol.

“Nope”. Kinda says it all. Gotta love the 750 word limit!

Set up, deliver, close. Clean, neat and unambiguous.

Keep 'em comin'.

***Thanks for the short read.

Too stupid to finish reading even as short as it was. He couldn't do anything in the story from legal perspective.

Not my problem anymore he says, I took them out of the frying pan and they jumped right back in......................

Niceiy done 👍👍👍👍👍

Enjoyed the story. Thanks for your writing.

"I did nothing with the leased Lexus other than to stop paying for it. It was titled in her name. The invisible hand of the market would do the rest." For some reason, this just tickles me more than it should. Nice work!

SO Cold, LOL

Piss poor story

BTB and 750 words. Amazing effort. Thank you!

Hilarious!

Nice one 5*

Fuck off Lance ;)

Partial story. Missing reactions of ex, kids and Fred.

It's unfortunate that folks don't realize that the fall back plan. Can disappear like smoke in the wind.

Another 10 big blazing stars! I loved the "Burn" on the cheating slut wife. She just figured that she could always go back if things went bad. "NOPE," I guess NOT. I loved the "Happy Ending" thks, Buster2U

Maybe a few weeks after the divorce, but years later a social worker brings them to his house?

BS.

This is a fever dream

750 word stories are meaningless drivel. I am always mad at myself every time I read one. They are always abrupt and cannot carry a plot because character development is impossible.

Unless the story is meant to be a joke or farce, I don't know why anyone bothers.

For a 750 project, this tale was great. Thank you for your time and talent. DMW aka

@SunnyU2 - the social worker knew there was a chance he'd be a soft-hearted idiot again, from past history. It wasn't a legal decision, it was a psychological one on social worker's part. He just didn't decide correctly this time around. At this point, I don't even feel bad for the asshole's kids. They could have protested their mom throwing out good life they had.

What a dick wad

I laughed!

Get it but still. Needed confrontation

I certainly don't feel bad for the dickwad .

Oh no , dickwad got beat up again .

Lol

Good

lots of story for 750 words...

“Nope”. Beautiful.5

Anyone who can say or write a single positive syllable about Ayn Rand is a viscious moron.

@ForensicFossil The fact that you said what you did about Ayn Rand identifies you as an ignorant twit who has probably never tried to read and understand a thing she wrote.

Nope. Bye. Great story. As one who was forced to read Atlas Shrugged in high school, I agree with Forensic Fossil about Ayn. Why so chapped Ic69? She yo mamma?

Understood the ending but it was way too short with little response / reaction / regrets from the ex and kids.

Perfect

Finally someone tells the truth about Ayn Rand. I tried to choke down those books years ago and ended up fleeing to the hills. Just read "Starship Troopers" or "Ecce Homo" instead.