Eric or Erin

I knew that my marriage of eight years was most likely over right then. After a rather heated argument, which I was at fault for, my wife turned me into her maid. I had to dress like one at home, serve her meals while eating and sleeping alone.

During this time, I kept a clean, neat house for which she frequently complimented me on. It was no hardship, and some of it had been fun, but mostly the whole experience had been a nightmare. Still, I loved my wife; otherwise, I wouldn't be in my current situation. I thought allowing this punishment to play out; she would calm down and forgive me. It seems I was wrong.

This evening, my wife's announcement went way beyond the pale after ambushing me in the kitchen while cleaning up from dinner.

Putting away the leftover food, I sat at the kitchen table. "I have a few questions, Alice, to make sure I heard you right."

Ignoring her frown at not being called Mistress, I contemplated for a moment before asking, "So, I am no longer welcome in our...."

"My"

I tried not to sigh. "Your bedroom?"

"No, of course not. You obviously need to come in and clean it like you have been doing. And we will share a bed on occasion. Otherwise, you have your own room."

"Our guest bedroom where I have been sleeping for the past six weeks."

"Well, yes, as I explained before, we will make it more your room. I am sure some cute pink curtains, sissy it up a bit, some nice...."

"No."

"Excuse me."

"I said, no thank you, I have no desire to sleep in a room looking that way. It's my choice, right?"

She looked confused for a moment, uncertain, then that familiar anger returned. "Of course, it's your choice."

"And this is to become permanent, right. And the whole taking up a boyfriend thing. Does this mean you want an open marriage or a divorce?"

The divorce, maybe the rest was a nonstarter, but I wondered.

"No, of course not, but I'll divorce your ass if you cheat on me." She angrily replied. My wife then promised me I was her only love, but she wanted a real man in her life.

Yea, as I thought, "But it's OK if you cheat on me."

The smile she gave me was a bit unsettling. "No, if anything, I will be cheating on Eric but not you, Erin."

I was pissed. Nodding, I stood up, took my apron off, and started to walk out of the room.

"What aren't you going to eat dinner?"

I wanted my wife back, but it seemed that agreeing to her many and somewhat humiliating demands had been a mistake.

"Lost my appetite."

Alice found me a few hours later in my office. Not bothering to knock, she cheerily announced, "I'm going to go to bed, and I want you to join me. I even bought some new toys."

Well, as I mentioned earlier, some of this had been nice. We enjoyed a active sex life, although a little vanilla, until six weeks ago. Toys were fun, and Alice even started calling me her lesbian lover, not that I minded; however, tonight, I wasn't in the mood.

"Sorry, I have work to do." I didn't bother looking up. "It's getting close to tax season, and I still have a bunch of things to do tonight."

Now that must have surprised her. I had never turned down sex, even in the middle of my busiest time of year.

"What."

"Oh, before you go. I won't be home until late for the rest of the week."

"Who's going to make me dinner?"

Looking up, I shrugged. "You can eat out or make your own, your choice. Also, don't bother waiting for me."

"Whatever." She turned around, slamming the door behind her.

"Not that we eat together anyway," I whispered, then finished up an email to my real estate agent. I had asked for our other house to be taken off the market. It seems I might need a place to live.

A couple of years ago, my mom passed away after a long fight with breast cancer. This whole dressing as a maid thing started when we went through my mom's old belongings. It was then my wife discovered Erin.

My dad had disappeared from my life when I was still in elementary school, running off with some woman from work. So, growing up, it was just my mom and me. A couple of Halloweens after he had left, I proclaimed I wanted to dress as a Princess Peach from the Mario Brother's game.

Pretty sure if dad had been around, it would never have happened. My mom thought it would be a lot of fun. Then one day after work, she found me in one of her dresses, high-heeled shoes, and attempting, I might add badly, to put on make-up. I told her that tonight I was Erin, her daughter, instead of Eric, her son.

Speaking to a counselor, the lovely lady informed my mom that it might be the way I was coping with my dad leaving. I insisted that I felt like a boy some days, while other days I felt like a girl.

I had only dressed as my other self once since I got married. Erin visited my mom in hospice before she passed, making her day. Otherwise, the last time had been the summer before I graduated college. Unfortunately, Alice came across several photo albums full of pictures of me dressed in fem that I didn't even know existed.

She was beyond furious.

I tried to explain my past to her. It didn't matter. I had lied, and she was correct, so I decided to take my lumps. That's when my home life went to shit.

The following day had come way too early, leaving before the sun came up; my wife would have to make her own breakfast.

"Janet, you late," I commented as my tardy employee entered the office.

My newest associate was a friend of my wife's, which might be why she had been pushing things these last few weeks. Since I caved into my wife's demands, Janet felt she could also push. I imagine the two of them had been talking. I really didn't want to fire her, but I would.

"I can't have you come in late this time of year."

She could only nod, obviously more than a little surprised if not frightened.

"I also need Jameson's report, like an hour ago. I have a meeting with Mrs. Jameson after lunch."

As I watched Janet scamper to her desk, I motioned to my cousin Haley who had been watching the whole thing from across the room. The two of us had started the Accounting Practice about seven years ago after passing our CPA exams.

"You might want to be nicer; it's a bad time to train someone new." She giggled, plopping down in the chair across from me.

"She needs to decide who she works for."

"True, so the Mason's won't be in this morning; they pushed their appointment to next Monday."

"Again."

"Again."

"Well, it's not like we don't have other things to do." Grumbling, I tossed the folder off to the side and started to pull up someone else's files.

"OK, hotshot, what's up. What did Alice do now?" Haley stood up to pour herself a cup of coffee, motioning to me if I wanted one.

Nodding, I stood up and closed the door before sitting back down at my desk. My cousin knew Erin, the two of us had played together often enough. She also told me that not telling my wife about her would bite me in the ass one day.

"You're fucking kidding me."

I smiled sadly. "I have a meeting with Jerald this afternoon; I need to see how much a divorce is going to cost me."

"You think she's already cheating on you?" Haley was shocked, and I could see more than a little angry.

"I don't know." Sipping my coffee, I grumbled, "I should have listened to you."

"Yes, you should have," my cousin said, then grinned. "Although I'm sure you look adorable in that maid outfit."

"It is rather cute. I will say that Alice has good taste."

"Other than marrying you, I agree." Haley sighed. "You need to speak to her, you know. I mean, actually speak to her. You have been putting it off way too long."

I made it home for dinner a couple of hours before my wife. I moved my last meeting to tomorrow after I spoke with my lawyer. The thought of divorce didn't make me feel any better, but I might be sleeping at my mom's house tonight if push comes to shove.

But who should meet her at the door? Obviously, the maid outfit was a no- go. I knew Alice was angry at Eric, but she had never met Erin, not really. After ordering in dinner, I went all out after stopping to go through my old things. Most of it still fit, and then I spent the remaining before my wife came home getting ready.

"OH," my wife exclaimed, startled as I met her at the door. Quickly recovering, she said, "I thought you were working later."

"We need to talk." I smiled. "But first, why don't you wash up? I ordered dinner from Pizzaro's."

"Alright." She nervously walked off after setting down her purse and coat.

I plated dinner and poured her a glass of her favorite wine by the time she came back.

"You look so different. I mean, when you wore the maid outfit, you did too, but you looked like Eric in a dress but." She sat staring at me.

"Let's eat first. OK, then we can talk."

"Alright."

For the first time in six weeks, we had dinner together. I never knew how much I missed this as we soon began talking about how our day went. Alice laughed at my never-ending issues with some of my clients but looked a little frightened when we finally finished.

"We'll clean up later." I took her by the hand and pulled her towards the living room. So far, it was a good sign. Alice wasn't screaming at me.

"I couldn't decide how to meet you at the door but figured you weren't mad at Erin."

She laughed a little, then nodded. "I'm still mad at Eric. He lied to me."

"I know, and I'm sorry." I held both of her hands now. "Can I tell you my story?"

So, after six weeks, we finally talked. I told her about dad leaving, what it did to mom, how we survived in those early days. The excitement of dressing up as Princess Peach and how right it felt. How my mom and I would often go on vacation with me dressed as Erin. And I told her why I stopped dressing that way after a bad breakup in college with a girl with whom I had told my secrets.

"So, this is Erin," she whispered. "Do you want to be a woman?"

"Hmm, all the time, not really."

"Do you like men?"

"Absolutely not," I insisted.

My wife giggled, seeming relieved. "What now?"

"Do you want a divorce?" I asked.

"Wait, no, why do you think that?" she panicked.

"Were you actually planning on getting a boyfriend? Have you started looking?"

"No, I was being stupid." She sighed. "I knew that when you turned down sex last night, but I have been so angry. Why haven't you said anything?"

"I thought if I just went along with it all, you would forgive me, but you kept escalating."

Nodding, she scooted over and leaned against me. "So, what do we do now."

"I spoke to Jerald this afternoon." She froze but then leaned closer when I explained. "He gave me the name of a marriage counselor."

The two of us then sat for the rest of the evening, just talking dishes forgotten.