All Comments on 'Erica'

That you wrote something this long and it was this bad. WOW! I could care less about the story which was one long cliche, but it was just poorly written.

Thanks for teaching me something with your story. What I learned is that a cuckold story where it is the wife cuckoled is just as stupid, mean spirited, and downright disgusting as the standard one where it is the husband that is treated this way. I cannot even begin to fathom what kind of sick, twisted brain people like you have. How could anyone get enjoyment out of the humiliation and degradation of another human being?

so glad I only read first and last page because all that insecurity was making me sick .. just wanted to see if she gets some backbone by the end .. this is so not a turn on

like... oh.... haha... Totally unbelievable. haha. Annoying dialog. Anyone with enough fire to kick the shit out of the bimbo and slap the guy's face over events is not just going to roll over so easily.

Reverse-cuckold? LOL!

April or Amanda I think the main charactor should have the same name through out the story.

Read the first page and then the last. So glad I did so I didn't have to waste ten minutes of my life on this garbage.

try writing without pulling yourself you pathetic loser.

crap in the entire chapter

One:

The premise of your story was not only strange there was some missing underlying logic that was really needed to make the story either cohesive or believable.

- Why was the couple Amanda and John were never married. It felt like you did it so it would be easier for them to break up, but if they didn't want to invest in each other, why would the reader want to feel invested in them?

- Their kids. Amanda and John's kids would want to keep their family together at all cost as young as they were. Yet, other than using them as window dressing, they really didn't have any real screen time or factor into John's decision to leave their mother behind for his ex who left him like day old bread on the counter.

- John wasn't all that smart.

Ok, your common law wife/girlfriend doesn't appear to have a drinking problem. Then your ex shows up and suddenly she's doing weird and unexplained things, drinking up a storm until she's drunk, and John couldn't put that together? That while she admits she's uneasy around Erica, and when the subject comes up he ignores her feelings while saying that he "just can't put her out", but he is totally willing to disregard her feelings and blow up his own relationship with the mother of his children for a woman who broke his heart and left him behind without a second thought? Huh?

- The hard to believe rationale that "all" men, in some form, shape, or fashion, wants to hook up with a bi-sexual woman. I wonder if its so they can have obviously have threesomes.

John finds out Erica is into women now and he's all hot to trot?? Not all men go for that but it's another thing that makes him seem so shallow.

Two:

Cuckolds can only be men.

-The term comes from a bird that lays it's eggs in another birds next and the bird then raises them as it's own unaware its doing so.

If you go to www.dictionary.com (Websters online dictionary) it says that it can only be the husband, not the wife.

The wife will always know if she's sleeping with someone else other than the husband, and if she gets pregnant only she knows that there may be more than one possible candidate for the father. But the husband "doesn't" always know unless he's informed by someone else, and often will raise the child unaware that he may not be the father.

While the term has grown to include all forms of infidelity, regardless if a pregnancy is involved, it is still a term that only applies to males.

________________

There is more, but I gave up on trying to point out all the things I found. There are so many things that just don't connect that it kills your story completely.

I mean think about this for a second, if you inserted yourself into your story as the John character, would "you" react this way to either Amanda or Erica?

Would you be beating off in bed in another room to the memory of your Ex who left you, as the mother of your children lay passed out in the room next to yours because she said she felt betrayed by how you were taking sides against her?

Would you be keeping another woman within arms length as you watched the mother of your children becoming an alcoholic because she couldn't handle watching you do this to her no matter what she said to you?

Would you take your kids away from their mother, while pretending that your actions to keep your ex close by, had absolutely "no" part in this implosion and now don't seem to worried about how the kids will take it?

If you would even remotely say yes to any of those questions, then doesn't this make you extremely shallow? Who wants to read about shallow people like that?

I know it made John look just as shallow as Erica.

You made him want Erica back from the start of the story, even though she did him wrong and left him like she did. Even all their "friends" and random men liked Erica better than Amanda, which John could clearly see and commented on, you still had John willing to take a "second" chance on her that she wouldn't walk out on him again, but this time he had to break up his family and take his kids along with him to get that second chance.

In the end, the question becomes "Why would putting your main character with someone so cruel, evil, and "manipulative" ever be seen as a good thing?"

-Risq

What fucking joke this story is. And if anyone thinks this horseshit is erotic they need their head checked by a shrink. Yikes and more yikes.

YOu are one pathetic person. Anyone who could write something like that should just eat shit and die.

seemed so far away. If only Amanda could go back. I found this extremely interesting and creative writing. Thanks for sharing it with us.

HORSESHIT!!!!

.

Author - the unrealistic premise & obvious plot holes have already been disclosed. Poor effort all the way around. Unfortunately, the bloody fools listed above will salivate over this horseshit like the maggots[faggots] they already are. Most unfortunate!

I admit, this was fresh and original. I give the author that. But 2 things made it less enjoyable.

First, a girlfriend or boyfriend is not as powerful a connection as a wife or husband. Regardless, there is no reason for her to stay with him either financial or otherwise.

And second, a dumb ass cuck is a dumb ass no matter what the sex is. As a rule I don't like these kinds of stories trying to make it more acceptable by making it a woman instead of a man just didn't work for me.

But, again, a good effort.

C

I wanted to create something I hadn't seen before. Something ambitious. Something different. And yes, something twisted.

Was it far fetched? Yep. Was it downright unbelievable? Yes. Were there obvious plot and character holes? Fuckin' right there were!

But this was all done by design.

Everything had a place. Why didn't Amanda leave John? Why didn't she grow backbone as mentioned? Because with everything that was happening to her, she wanted to fight it and not fight it at the same time. She hated Erica but adored her at the same time. This is the weird quirk in her psyche that I wanted to communicate. I wanted to create a situation that would have this strange duality at its core.

As for the personal attacks, you all amuse me. I just loved the very righteous recommendation to eat shit and die after reading my immoral tale. I like it even better how all of these posts were made by nameless faces. (Regardless of your criticisms, a thank you to those who posted under a screen name.)

But alas, this endeavour was an obvious flop. I now know that with all the ideas on the site, this one has no place amongst them. With 100 ratings of 1s, I shall now consider pulling it from the pages of Literotica.

Not erotic at all, too bad.

You are what you do - here you were seeking self disrespect while gleefully meting out pain.<P>

Irrational & subhuman fetishes define a writer as this did you.<P>

Sadly sick.

If this kind of sexual nightmare didn't have some underlying emotional truths to support it, we wouldn't have the divorce rates, numbers of single mothers, proliferating step-families, et. al. that we do today.

People like Amanda and John don't marry because they think they're too true to need society's blessing, or maybe they're too "hip", or maybe they quietly want to leave themselves an easy 'out'.

Obviously they're flawed people or they wouldn't get into this mess. Fundamentally there's nothing so astonishing that a guy like John sides with the hot piece who got away over his devoted domestic partner--that the domestic partner reacts in ways that shoot herself in the foot-- that she has frenemy co-workers out to humiliate her-- or that a conniving looker who wants money, adulation, or just to dominate others gets what her sorry self wants.

That there's a fiendish erotic charge to this is because this is an erotic story that works on those themes. If the emotions are too depressing for some well, then just take it as a cautionary tale. I think there are *plenty* of women who can relate to that.

I hope the outraged readers never make the same mistakes in life, I really do. Maybe a story like this upsets because it's a trip into the dark basement that warns us that the foundations may not be as solid as we wish-- or even that somehow, in our complacency, we get a kick out of waiting in our beds to see if the house will sink in.

That she finds everything taken away, and herself reduced to slavery, may not be the "real life" ending, but through the prism of fiction it must feel like what a lot of people end up with. The worst fears of humiliation and reversal are worked out. Call it catharsis. If it's objectionable, don't even peek into Loving Wives!

...your later comments made little sense in juxtaposition.

I'm flabbergasted that there could be this much negativity about this story. Was it Shakespeare? Of course not. But thats not why I come to Literotica. If I'm looking for well-written prose then I'll go to a book shop. If I'm looking for something to get horny to, in a short amount of time, I'll come to Literotica.

There's a group of people out there that do find this subject erotic - that of the husband who is unwillingly seduced away from his loving wife. I don't think they should be criticised for this attraction, any more than the other hundreds of fetishes that have stories on this site.

If you don't like the subject matter, don't read the story!

Some of you must have very sad lives if you start reading a story, realise you're not going to like it, read through the entire story anyway, just to write up a negative comment about it.

I've given up on stories that were far worse written than this.

Keep up the good work, PerilEyes - keep the stories coming!

very good story!!

I loved this story. There are so many great possibilities to explore further as Amanda settles into her life as cuckquean to John and slave to Erica and Summer. Please write a part 2!

Thanks.

It's certainly more believable than most cuckold premises. The cuckquean aspect is very rare to find, so any story about it is appreciated.

(By the way guys, this is what's known as Netorare or NTR. The protagonist, in this case Amanda, is supposed to lose out on their lover. Being somewhat depressing is the whole point.)

i just wanted to comment and say, the feedback that has been left is disgusting, what gives another person the right to leave such vile comments to another human being, if you did not like the story you were under no obligation to even continue reading it, you should have just closed the page and moved on, and i would bet my life on the fact that half the people who have commented negatively have not ever put pen to paper to give it a go themselves, if your not going to like what you read....then dont read it!!!! ignore the haters PerilEyes :)

I like the slow seduction, the losing of control on the wife's part, even the alcohol.

But I feel the last part was a bit... over the top. A bit rushed. A part from her fantasies, what insentive does Amanda have to become Summer's and Erica's slave? Won't she just snap out of it and either talk to her husband or sue for divorce?

Nevertheless, a good, well-written story. I gave it five stars, and I'd read the second chapter, should you decide to write it.

Mom's ARE important and this pathetic tale is SO implausible as to be laughable.

Awesome!

The story was fantastic, wish there was more or atleast another part or follow up to see what happens next

Load of Crap story

Really enjoyed it. It wasn't just mindless smut, buy succeeds in having so much more value as a story and great, sexy narrative.

This made wanna murder a bitch but at the same time made me horny

You should write a sequel to further the story ... however still a great read

Your writing and stories are flawless. Please keep it up!

It was a very erotic story but also extremely gut wrenching, emotional story! Well done PerilEyes, I was in tears by the end!!

As a fan of Humiliation I love how Amanda was humiliated throughout the stories. I Masturbated reading this

It was fantastic, it would be nice to see a second part to know what happens next.

Don't listen to the people talking down to you. This is an extremely arousing story.