Eta Carinae Pt. 07

"I have a question for you," I said after a long pause of driving.

"Sure!"

"How do you think relationships get so fucked up? I'm not so naive that I think pressing a button and life blows-up, but I do think there are 'key' factors that put sickness into play."

"Well, as you might have imagined, I spent several years assessing what happened between your father and me. I seriously looked at my part, where I may have been wrong or could have done something differently. After considerable 'sifting', I found one nugget that made sense. It sounds like you have put a great deal of thought into this....conclusions?"

"Dishonesty. I think it's a cancer of the heart and soul! Once trust is broken, what's the point? From what I've seen, trust is incredibly fragile and has to be treated as such. I think dishonesty is akin to betrayal. Quite often they go hand in hand."

"Hmmm. Funny, that was my conclusion too! How'd you get so wise?"

"Wise? Simple observation of people I care about!" I said looking at her.

"Of all the 'worries' I might have about the future, you betraying me is not one of them!" She replied, smiling.

I think driving by Napa and thinking about that great house we used to live in, brought up old feelings. Driving through Napa county is very picturesque. Vineyards, grassy fields, and groves of oak. It's where I grew up. The small town 5 or so miles from the property, had a cafe. We were ahead of schedule and we were both hungry. Simple breakfast fare. The waitress was nice enough and I caught her looking at the rings on our fingers. I kind of liked that. It's nice to relax to a degree. The property sat backed into a state forest. The original farmhouse was knocked down some years back due to people squatting in them. All that was left was a large shed where Ed had some garden tools and a bunch of firewood split up. We followed the county road that lead us to the gate, which I almost past. The gate had a padlock and fortunately, it popped open.

The road in wound through a 1/4 mile of yellow pine trees that smelled wonderful! It was nice getting out of the city, and back onto the soil. I pulled into the west side of the clearing, close to the shed. All was set in about 45 minutes. Something that we have always done well with is collaborating on a project. I think it's kind of heuristic in nature; doing what seems most logical. All that was left was the scope, and I was going to wait on that. We laid out our big beach blanket and set up the 2 short beach chairs and a large bed tray to set between them. It was noon and we both wanted to do something. We decided on a hike. Still being late winter, the grass was green and wet until afternoon. We put on our heavy hiking pants, gaiters, and boots. I set up my pack with some 'just in case' stuff. I also had the MIL-Spec sighting compass Ed gave me, plus a military grid map of the area. One summer years ago, he taught me land nav. He had a couple of trails he marked out and kind of a hunting stand-up on the side of a hill. A good place to go. We loaded up and hit the trail. We both had nice hiking poles that we bought from one of the communes down toward Santa Cruz. The property was a small meadow of sorts with a steeper, pined hill toward the west and grassy hills to the north.

"You take point. I want to look at the scenery." I announced. She did a 'bunny wiggle' with her ass.

"Great! I'm going into the woods with Mook, the caveman, and his pet triceritops!" She said in a 'sideways' fashion.

I let out a belly laugh. "He is well trained! 'Mook' will protect you from ravaging marauders!"

She turned. "What if I want to get ravaged? I haven't had a good ravaging in a while!" She replied, placing her finger under my chin.

"So, what I'm hearing, I've been lax in my ravaging duties?" I answered as I hooked her belt loops with my fingers and pulled her toward me. She resisted.

"Too late now! Let's go!" She pulled away and headed up the trail with a brisk gate. We wandered up the hillside, following the trail grown over with grass. After 20 minutes or so, I figured we should be close, based on all the landmarks.

"Know what you're looking for?" She asked as I used my monocular.

"Knowing Ed, it will probably be a sandbagged machine gun emplacement!" I said scanning.

"There it is!" It was some flat limestone that had been pushed up and formed a flat place to sit, out of the wind. It actually had a nice view of the west. I took some pictures of Elaine and the skyline. I called her and caught a nice candid expression. We sat down on the rock, side by side. She had the opened bottle of wine and broke it out with the little juice glasses we use on 'safari'. A glass of wine, a little bit of bud, and a mellow afternoon were upon us. She wiggled over and backed between my legs. She popped open the top 2 buttons of her blouse. I slid my hand in and gently messaged her magnificent breast. I played with her nipple ring and she sighed, letting her body relax into mine. Reaching into her blouse never gets old! She ended up in my lap and we kissed. She stopped and looked into my eyes. "I love you." She said in a hushed voice. Before I could say anything, we were up and back down the trail toward camp.

Back at camp, I couldn't resist and set up the telescope. I had assembled and disassembled it at home several times and all went smoothly. I had a rough north star alignment, but I had to wait for dark. The guidance software was on my tablet and the Bluetooth managed to connect and stay connected. All was set, so I went and sat down on the beach chair next to Elaine. She was reading one of her trade magazines and taking notes on a legal pad. I had the tablet and was in the process of planning our 'star hop' for the evening. I can enter each star or body in sequence and press 'next'. Cool stuff! After a half hour or so, I had a good line-up for the evening and set aside the tablet. I slid out of the chair to take a nap. She was suddenly laying alongside me. She inched her hand down to my fly, slowly unzipping it. She moved her head down to my crotch. She had my pants completely open and my cock in her hand. She moved to take me in her mouth. I winced a little.

"Something wrong?" She asked.

"No." She tightened her grip on my cock.

"You're lying! Tell me what's going?" She said with a serious look. I was searching for the right words. She lifted my chin with her finger.

"Are you still having problems with Mom giving you a blow job?"

"Yeah, something like that. I would like to think I've moved beyond all the 'stuff', but I'm not."

"Believe me, I get it! Do you think there's something 'dirty' about fellatio?"

"I'm not sure. I ask myself that question and I'm not always sure where the answer is coming from. Me or what society thinks. Does that make sense?"

"Perfectly! Ok, how about this: do you think cunnilingus is dirty? I'm using these terms to keep the conversation as non-polarizing as possible." She presented.

"Good idea! As for cunnilingus, no. I think it's a beautiful act. Or at least, it can be."

"Agreed! Why not fellatio?" She continued.

"I think a considerable amount of bias has been impressed on me by our society. I get the feeling that I would be an asshole if I enjoyed oral sex."

"You know how much you like your thought experiments?"

"Mmmm....."

"Close your eyes. Think about performing oral sex on me." Big smile.

"You know what you feel, but what do you feel about yourself? Do you feel dirty, embarrassed, disgusted, what?"

"How do I feel when I'm eating out at the Y?" I said with a sarcastic grin. She punched me.

"Don't ever forget that I can and will kick your ass!"

"Seriously, I like what it does to you. I love every little part of your pussy."

"Do you ever feel 'dirty' or ashamed loving me that way?"

"Are you kidding?"

"Ok, what if I experience the same thing? Know all the little nuances of your cock, doing the things that make you feel so good. Here's a thought.....just let go! I'm your lover now. You have to allow me to love you as men and women do! Now, I'm going to take you into the trailer and I'm going to give you a Rolls-Royce blow job! You're going to 'finish' in my mouth."

I gave a perplexed look.

"To answer your question, I love the taste of your cum! As you might have suspected, I have tasted cum on occasion. Most men's sperm is disgusting! There's almost always this bitter, metallic aftertaste that makes me want to hurl!! I think it has something to do with diet. With you, something quite unusual. Is this something you think you can do?"

"I don't mean to be a 'prude' or a 'hair shirt', but the impression I've had with women and performing oral sex is..... 'it's gross'! That seems to be the common theme I hear. Or, if performed, many 'parameters' are given. So, that and the 'Madonna-slut' overlay of our society, I haven't been able to figure out what I feel."

"Well baby-cake, today is your day! Come on." We went into the trailer. I laid back on some pillows, against the wall. She had my completely stripped and pushed my legs off to the side. Catcher flexibility has its place! She kissed me on the mouth and worked down to my crotch. She started kissing my balls, taking each in her mouth. Working up the shaft, she paid considerable attention to the corona and perineum. As she was doing her magic, she took my hand and placed it on her neck. She was building me up to orgasm, then slowly back down. She did this for I don't know how long as I stroked her cheek with the back of my hand. Elaine rolled up on top, between my legs. She pressed and swirled the tip of her tongue on my perineum and I lost it! I made some kind of animal gurgling sounds and collapsed! I felt like I shot a pint of sperm! She crawled up and kissed me. She had cum on her lips.

"I saw God. He said 'hi'." I whispered in my quasi-stupor. She chuffed a laugh. She reached over and pulled cigarettes out of the pack and enjoyed the moment.

"So, how do you feel? Do you see something different?" She asked, looking up at me.

I took a long drag off my smoke.

"Yes. Just another path of affection."

She smiled and lay on my chest.

"Deev, wake up, it's dusk!" She whispered, shaking me. My eyes popped open and I looked up and out of the window above me. I sat up and started to pull on my sweats.

"Good nap?"

"God yes! I had a dream. An angel appeared to me. She said she would help me with some of my 'hang ups'. She then gave me the most glorious blow job I have ever had! She was right!" She was suppressing a smile through my dialog.

"Wow! Lucky you! Maybe she'll return!"

"I know she will!" I said, kissing her cheek. "Stars!" I said leaving the trailer.

It couldn't have been a better night! Crystal clear skies, no moon, and far enough away from light pollution to get some good 'seeing'. Checking the polar alignment, I was pretty close, for just guessing. Enough major stars were out to do an alignment, and that was smooth as silk! I chose the first item on the list; Venus. The scope slewed over, and Venus appeared just about centered. I put in the high magnification, multi-element, wide field lens that cost around $400! It was worth the money!

"Look!" I said and she leaned over the eyepiece.

"My God, that's unbelievable! You see images and video, but nothing compares!"

After a couple of minutes, I went to a double star in Ursus Major called Mizar. Due to the excellent optics of the scope, I was able to separate the 2 stars into individuals. Very sharp images! Life is good! Elaine made a press pot of coffee and brought me a cup. It was going to be a long night. That's why we're here! She had put a shot of spice rum in the coffee, which warms the bones a bit. Jupiter came up and we spent 20 minutes marveling. We looked at several constellations until the 'main show' of the evening: Orion. We spent a considerable amount of time looking at the splendors!

It was around 3 when we packed it in. We slept late on Saturday, spending the day eating cheese, bread and drinking wine. The second night went even better than the first, due to more familiarity with the controls. We left Sunday morning, around 8, and finally back at the house at 3. We got all our clothes unpacked and I started a small load of wash. I was going into the kitchen to inventory what we had to eat, and Elaine wanted me to join her on the balcony. She had a couple of cigars and a bottle of red wine open. She also had her laptop, which I thought strange. We sat down and she handed me a cigar.

"This is a Hoya de Monterey Excalibur Corona. A little stronger, but I think you'll like it. And, a nice Zinfandel to go with it."

"Nice...life's good! What's with the laptop? I thought electronics were taboo on cigar night" I inquired.

"I know that's the agreement, but this is a special 'something'."

"'K"

"You know we've had an agreement concerning big ideas. Come up with a plan and presentation and we'll discuss it."

"Sure. What are you thinking?" I asked, drawing on the cigar.

"Well, I've tried on that cute little cupless bra you gave me with different clothes, just looking at myself and I would like to get a breast lift. Before you freak, hear me out!"

"Of course! I'll listen and enjoy this cigar."

"Well, when I was in my early 20s, that's how I looked. I want that back. I know you're not much on plastic surgery and big body alterations, I just want to look younger!"

"OK, I understand that. How do I fit in?"

"If I said how I look to you doesn't matter, I'd be lying! You spend a considerable amount of time working out, and staying in excellent shape! I know you like looking good for me. Am I not correct?"

"Mmm."

"It's a 2-way street love! Here, look."

She slid her laptop in front of me. There was a web page open with an image of her, naked from the waist up. She brought up the second image. I didn't have to look too close to see the difference. They had made a fine mesh, photo 'wire frame' and fed her measurements in.

"I'll gain maybe half a cup and an inch or so. Think you could live with these? Or does it upset your balance of nature?"

"I'll take one for the team!" I replied, grinning.

"You make it sound like you're taking a 'bean ball' to get on base! Jesus!"

"I'm sorry. Let's do this!" I stated with conviction.

"I've made an appointment for the week after next. I want you with me. It will be done in a hospital, she doesn't like 'office' procedures. You'll have a chance to ask all your questions."

"Well, just so you know, I think you're perfect the way you are! You're the ultimate trophy girlfriend! It's not a matter that there big or small, they just fit you. They match your body."

"How did you end up so sweet? Well lover duck, what you get to see is me 20 years ago!"

I have reached a point in my life where I do take 30 seconds a day and think about someone else!! This is important to her and I'm in. Oh, yeah, shapely tits come with the deal!

It so turned out that there was a cancellation and the appointment was moved up a week and we were doing this next week. That morning, I made a small cup of coffee for myself so as not to torture her! She was NPO. I had my daytimer out, open on the table. She turned it.

"Boob day?" I shrugged. "Had to name it something."

We were due at the hospital at 10. We're driving to San Jose during the mid-morning commute, which is always a crap shoot! I drove her Mercedes, which is always nice! The doctor, Alison whatever, had blocked off a half hour to answer any questions I might have. She explained, in-depth, placement, look, 'settling' and 'fluffing' (barf), and then she placed an implant on the desk. I'm not squeamish. All this medical stuff has a different perspective when it's someone close. It was time. I kissed her on the mouth and squeezed her hand. We went to OR prep where she was outfitted with a fashionable gown and a paper shower cap. Time to go and off she went. They would text me when she was done which worked out fine! I was not going to spend any more time in that building than I had to. She need to eat when she was recovering before going home and I wanted her to eat some kind of food, not that crap they serve in the hospital. I found an Italian deli and bought a large container of minestrone; Italian 'penicillin'! I returned to the hospital parking lot, stayed in the car, listened to music, and tried not to freak out!

"Finished and in recovery!" Read the text message.

I shot up the stairwell and went into the room where she was lying in bed, looking at her normal angelic self. She held her arm out as I walked over. I turned a chair around to set by her. She took my hand.

"Worried?"

"Maybe a little," I said.

"Liar! You were freaking out!" She said with a flat smile.

"Yeah, a bit. My right! You need to eat, so I picked up some minestrone." I set up the tray table, tucked a napkin in her collar, and opened the soup.

"You're going to feed me? You know I still have a full motor function."

"Mmm." She reached for the spoon and I withdrew.

"This is how it's going to be! I take care of you, you heal!" I announced sternly. I fed her a spoonful.

"The last time we did this in my freshman year, I came home from school to find aunt Barb and she said you were sick and in the hospital. We get there, Nona is wringing her hands and praying a rosary, aunt Angie is in a stupor. NO ONE WOULD TELL ME SHIT! Finally, Ed took me down to the cafeteria, bought me a hamburger, and explained in detail what was going on with your 'woman parts' and that you were in toxic shock. They had you loaded up on antibiotics, but wouldn't let me see you. Finally, Ed said something to the doctor and they gowned me up and let me in. What is it about adults, even professionals who won't use words like 'uterus', 'Fallopian tube', or ovary around young people? Sex ed starts in the 5^th grade!"

"Don't know baby. They're just not used to knights like you anymore!"

She ate all her soup, we watched daytime TV affirming why we don't watch mainstream channels. Seems like the Kardashians look more and more hideous! I know the world has 'something for everyone'. Much of it is still baffling. The 'doc' came in, looked over vitals and we were good to go. I helped Elaine dress. She took off the gown and she had a wide elastic wrap 'mummied' around her body. Fashionable! We cover all the aftercare and I put Elaine in a wheelchair and started for the elevator. Some tried to stop me saying 'Staff has to escort patients', but I slid into the elevator and shut the door. I picked up the script for Percocet. I pulled the car around and left. Hospitals......gaak!

It had been about 2 weeks since her 'procedure', and she was healing rapidly! She wanted to do an unveiling when things 'settled' a bit. She had been dressing in the bathroom or when I was out of the room. Can you experience 'tit withdrawal'? I was. It was a Sunday and we had completed a bunch of personal projects before sitting down for wine and TV. On a commercial break, I went to the bathroom and she disappeared into the bedroom. I was back on the couch when she appeared in the bedroom doorway. She was wearing a simple green chiffon nightgown that ended mid-ass. One of my faves! I thought I should join her! She took off her nightgown and sat back on a large stack of pillows. She was wearing a new bra and pantie set. It was quite attractive! A green satin with darker green embroidered lace. The bra was a fuller type of support, with a wide band underneath the cups. Certainly gave her a full look! I sat down between her legs.