Eva Pt. 17

Monday Eva called from her office and made an appointment for a week from then for an initial interview at the county office in Media. In the meantime we told Rachel and Connor, who was on his home rotation, his "Gold" crew on shore leave while the other "Blue" crew was out to sea. They both approved, after a little concern for what would be best for us. We expected to have a pretty easy time of being approved, considering our background and our jobs, but the man who interviewed us was tough. I guess they all were, they had to be in order to protect the children in the system from predatory types. These kids were already victimized by their parents or others and needed to be protected. So after a lot of tough questions, Charles Reed asked us "Mr. and Mrs. Grossman, why do you want to do this at your age? Most people who do this are younger, they're looking for some extra money for themselves, some are good people looking to help. Why you? Why now?"

Eva spoke for us. "We find ourselves suffering a little empty nest syndrome. Our kids are grown, our daughter Rachel is in school and our son Connor is in the Navy with his own family. My sister in law, Jon's sister, has moved to California. We love our jobs and we have a good, comfortable life. We love children, Mr. Reed. We don't need the check. We want to help a child who needs a home and loving people in his or her life. They could even go to our school, so we can provide a good education. And we can provide love."

"Well, looking at your financial statement, you don't need the money, but you'd get monthly checks anyway. It's the law. OK, I'm going to send you home with a ton of paperwork to fill out. I'm sure you're both used to that as school principals. And there will be a surprise visit to your home. It will have to be late in the day or evening. On the surface here, I have to say you'd be ideal candidates. But I'm not promising anything. We also will do an investigation into both your backgrounds. Shouldn't be a problem. I see you adopted your sister when she was fifteen?" I proceeded to give him the background there, bringing up some painful and wonderful memories. "And you were investigated by your employer, then a few years ago before your son got his clearances for his posting in the Navy. I'm not used to dealing with people whose backgrounds have already been so thoroughly looked into. But you're not there yet. Fill out the papers and send them back and then be prepared for a visit."

We left with a sheaf of papers which we started filling out that night. For some reason they still weren't online with their questionnaires. We finished a couple of days later and sent them in and waited.

That weekend, Abi and Dora came for dinner. While Eva and Dora were chatting in the family room, Abi and I sat in the library with a couple of drinks and I told him what Eva and I were planning to do. He sipped his gin and tonic as he stared out the window at the dead leaves covering the fields between our home and the school buildings. "Jon, are you and Eva certain you know what you're getting into? Have you looked into this carefully?"

"We did a lot of research, Abi. We also studied about child psychology back in college. Eva has her Master's degree in child psych and I'm a double Master's in History and childhood education. We raised our children and have dealt with thousands of children over the last twenty years."

"Jon, I love you and I love Eva. You're great people. I'll always love you for helping to get my grandchildren into your school and on scholarship. We never could have paid tuition here. Kim and Kamal are in good colleges and they're both going to be special people in the world. That's a debt I can never repay."

"Nonsense, Abi. There's no debt. We helped them get into school here, but they did the work like every other student. They deserve everything they have because they earned it."

"Jon, I'm telling you this as your friend. Be 100% certain before you take in a child from social services. Some of these kids.....they are deeply damaged. They've already lived lives and seen things that you and I can't even imagine. Some have been so severely abused that they'll never get over it. Where I live, we see a lot of those kids. They weren't created with love and they've never been loved. Even the foster parents who take them in....most are just interested in getting the check from the city. They show those children no love. The children don't understand love. They don't trust. Maybe you'll get lucky, a child whose parents died and has no family to take them in. But chances are you're going to have a lot of heartache."

It was sobering to hear Abi's view of these children. Eva and I believed no child was irredeemable. But to be honest, we'd been involved mostly with children who had every advantage in life. There were exceptions. Some drugs, including a couple of dealers who had to be expelled. Corey Romano of course. But they were far and away exceptions to the rule. Maybe we were biting off more than we could chew.

That night in bed, Eva and I talked about whether we were up to the potential challenges we might be facing. She and Dora had a similar conversation, and Eva was also more nervous about whether we were doing the right thing, especially at our age. We were fit, we used the treadmill (a newer one than the one bought ten years before), we played tennis, though I would always have trouble with my backhand because of my shoulder. We still enjoyed vacations and time at our beach house, we still loved our jobs and planned for another ten years. We had a great life that could all be upset by bringing in a troubled child. We decided we wanted to take that chance. Abi, when I met him in the hospital, told me that children were a gift from god. I still didn't believe in god, but I believed children were a gift. Eva believed the same thing.

A few days later, a woman knocked on our door in the evening and toured the house, finding nothing amiss, of course. Then two weeks later, Charles Reed called us and asked us if we were willing to take two children, a brother and sister, 7 and 5 respectively. Their parents had died in a car accident and they had no family able or willing to take them in. We were all in.

Two days later, we took off work on a Thursday and we met Vincent and Maria Andretta, our 'late in life' children.

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We were nervous bordering on terrified as we waited in a children's playroom in the social services building. We sat on these ridiculously low chairs, holding hands, both of us dressed in our best suits. We were going over the Vincent and Maria's files. Their parents, Michael and Linda, had been killed three months before when a truck driver fell asleep at the wheel on the Pennsylvania Turnpike and drove them off the road. They were driving home from a family wedding but the children weren't invited, thank goodness as things turned out. Michael and Linda were both teachers and only children with no relatives able to care for the children long term. The children, especially Vincent, were traumatized, of course. But they needed people to love them.

Mr. Reed brought them into the room and we stood up on shaking knees. We gave them our biggest smiles and introduced ourselves, Jon and Eva. Reed left us alone then to try to form a connection. We talked a while, Vincent very quiet but Maria attached herself to Eva almost immediately, hugging her like she would never let go. It broke both our hearts to see how starved this little girl was for affection. So she and Eva started talking right away but Vincent just wanted to play with the toys in the room. I wanted to find something he would talk about. So I asked about school and sports, movies and books. I got a lot of one word answers. It was terribly frustrating, especially because we wanted to try to give these children a home.

Then I noticed a guitar in the corner of the room. I got up and brought it over, tuned it as best I could on the old strings, and I started playing some soft and sweet music, children's songs which Maria liked, but not Vincent. Then I played a Bruce Springsteen song, Tougher Than the Rest, and Vincent looked up at me for the first time. He wandered over and sat watching as I went through the various chord changes, humming along to a song he obviously had heard. He touched the body of the guitar, feeling the sound vibrate from inside and he actually smiled. Eva touched her hand to her face as tears flowed down her cheeks. When I was done with the song, I asked what kind of music he liked and he told me he liked The Boss, Bon Jovi, Neil Young and others. Clearly music had been a part of their lives with their parents. We had a way in.

After an hour, Mr. Reed came back to find us all getting along as I kept playing songs. Maria enjoyed music as well, but not like Vincent. I asked him if he would like to take guitar lessons and he nodded enthusiastically. We told them we worked at a school and they'd be welcome to go to school there. Eva and I worried that it might be a sore point for them, their parents having been teachers, but they both said yes.

Maria then said "Eva, can I have lessons too?"

"Of course, sweetheart. What would you like to do?"

"I want to be a ballerina!"

"Then we'll sign you up for lessons after school as well. We have a nice studio in the town where we live. It would be our pleasure." Maria gave a huge smile that just melted our hearts.

Mr. Reed asked the children if they were willing to go home with us (after discreetly making sure we were willing to take them into our home) and they talked between themselves, brother and sister, reminding me of myself and Cammy. They decided they wanted to give us a chance.

An assistant helped the kids get their things together while Mr. Reed went over some last things with us. He also let us know a lawyer had been engaged by the county to represent the children's interests as well as to sue the trucking company the driver worked for (he barely got a scratch). We agreed to make appointments to meet the lawyer, as well as weekly appointments with a psychologist for the children. Vincent and Maria were brought in again and, with more than a few butterflies in our stomachs, we took them home.

On the ride home, both of them in car seats, we talked a little about Connor and Rachel so they both knew we had children of our own and we loved kids. We told them Rachel was going to be a professional musician and Connor was in the Navy and that they couldn't wait to meet them. Thanksgiving was coming in another two weeks and the whole family was coming to us, including Eva's mom and her brothers and their families. Even Cammy, Kyle and Anna were coming back for the weekend. We'd be a very crowded table.

That night, after we got them fed, we got them changed for bed before sitting and talking together for a while. We encouraged them to tell us a few things about their parents. Vincent ran upstairs and Eva and I were worried we upset him but he came down a few seconds later with a book of photos. The two of them sat between us and showed us pictures of their parents and of the four of them as a family. They looked like a very happy family, friendly and warm smiles, and in a few minutes both children were crying. Eva and I held then close, feeling pretty awful ourselves. We let them cry themselves out and I then sang to them, something soft, then a lullaby. Maria fell asleep there so I carried her up to the guest room, where we put both children to bed. New furniture for children would be delivered the next day and Vincent would end up in Connor's old room while Maria would be in the former guest room, since Rachel still needed her room when she came to visit. We put them in bed together with a monitor and Eva told Vincent if either of them needed anything at all, they could call for us with the monitor and we'd be there in seconds. She then kissed them both on the forehead before we left the room, leaving the door ajar.

We went to our own room feeling exhausted and more than a little sad. "Bear, I didn't know this could be so hard emotionally. Even with all our years of experience. Those poor children. My heart hurts for them."

"I know, Angel. So does mine. They're just going to need all the love we can give them. And then some more on top. Whatever we can give them."

Eva sighed as she leaned on my chest. "Tomorrow we'll take them to the grade school and show them around. I want them to start Monday if possible. We have to go back to work anyways."

We slept lightly that night and sure enough, around 2AM we heard crying over the monitor. Maria was scared when she woke up in the unfamiliar bed and we hurried in as fast as we could to comfort her and check on Vincent. She settled down about twenty minutes later and we got through the rest of the night.

The next day we discussed school with them and told them we were going to show them what we hoped would be their new school. Then we talked about the things they liked to eat so we could all go food shopping together afterwards. So we took them to the school and they were kind of surprised by the small class sizes as well as the uniforms. They had gone to their local public school so this was a kind of culture shock, something they had been experiencing for months. They agreed to give it a try and we met with the principal, Joanne Devers, and their teachers. We bought their uniforms, five each to start. Then we went shopping, getting things that were their favorites even if they weren't our favorites. We'd all learn to adjust to each other.

Over the weekend we took them ice skating and Maria picked it up quickly, showing some decent balance, while Eva and Vincent kept falling on their asses (I learned years ago when Connor learned so he could play hockey). The fact that Eva kept falling with him kept Vincent from feeling too self conscious and after a few times they laughed together. We took them for pizza and hot chocolate for dinner and some more of the walls started to crumble a little.

After a few nights of relative peace, the night before their first day of school, Vincent woke up in the middle of the night screaming. He had a nightmare about his parents and I tried to settle him down. "I want my Daddy!" the poor boy kept crying and his crying upset his sister and we had two hysterical children on our hands. And we had to wake up at six to start getting ready for work. This was going to be harder than we expected. And it was like that their first weeks with us. They were slow to adjust to the somewhat tougher scholastic environment of a private school, not that they weren't bright children. Maria fit in with the girls in her class but Vincent had a harder time. We talked with Mrs. Devers and their school psychologist as well as the psychologist they were seeing outside. We developed some strategies to help them catch up, including extra time with them at night on schoolwork. But the biggest help came over Thanksgiving.

Wednesday night we met all our family except my aunt and uncle, who couldn't make it, at one of Larry's restaurants, the Italian place. Rachel wasn't coming home until the morning due to a private concerto she was taking part in. Everyone made a big deal over Maria and Vincent, treating them like they had been family forever. It was hard for both of them, meeting all those new people. Phyllis tried to make them feel like she was their grandma, but they were slow to warm to everyone. It was hard for them.

I made a big deal over introducing them to Anna and Oliver, who were 7 and 3, respectively. It was like cousins meeting for the first time. Ollie in particular stuck to Vincent all night and actually cried when Connor and Leigh took him to the hotel for the evening. Connor made a connection with both of them, like a would be older brother. Vincent felt comfortable with him. It was a nice dinner.

The next day, Thanksgiving, I went with Vincent to pick up Rachel from the train station at 11. Maria stayed behind to 'help' Eva and Cammy start cooking everything but the two turkeys, which were already in the oven. Thank goodness for the double oven we invested in, even though we didn't own the house.

My daughter got off the train, looking so different than when we saw her last in September. More confident, a different hair style, short and wavy. Baggy jeans and boots with a small ring in her nose. Not my preference, but I did like it for some reason. I doubted Eva would.

"Hey Dad!" she called as she ran to meet me with a huge hug.

"Hi Little Angel. Oh you are so different! You look so self assured! I think living in New York is doing you good."

"Thanks. I love it there. And I love school. It's amazing. I'll tell you later." She turned to Vincent and squatted a little to his height. "And you're Vincent, right? I'm Rachel and it's a pleasure to meet you." She shook his hand and he smiled warmly, maybe the best smile he gave anyone since we took him home.

"Is that your guitar?" he asked, pointing to the one slung on Rachel's back.

"Yes it is. And you know the piano in the library? I play that too. If you want I can give you a few lessons over the weekend."

"You would?" he asked like he wasn't sure if he believed her.''

"It would be my pleasure, Vincent."

"Call me Vince, please. Everybody does." She looked up at me and I stared down in surprise. I hadn't heard him say that to anyone since we met him. He might not have told anyone at the temporary foster home he stayed with before Eva and me. Rachel got through to him in a big way, through music. He took her hand as we walked to the car.

"Vince it is, then. Can my parents call you Vince too?"

"Sure. I don't mind. I like living with them." In two minutes she was getting more out of him than Eva, me or the psychologists did in weeks and months. Rachel, my shining star. "They've been nice to me and my sister."

"Yeah, I think they're nice too. Usually." She smiled at me and Vince too his cue from her and smiled too. While I drove home, Rachel talked to Vince mostly about music and explained to him what she was doing at school without talking down to him. Over that entire four day weekend, she was a miracle worker, especially with Vince, while Anna and Maria hit it off. Vince and Anna seemed happier than at any time since we brought them into our home.

Dinner was crowded, loud, a mess and it was a great day in every way. Even though Phyllis was the eldest in our family, Eva and I were unofficially the matriarch and patriarch of the brood. And we were just 50....well, almost 51. In the middle of dinner, the adults all at a series of tables making a longer one, and the kids all right next to it at their own, Eva and I looked at each other from the opposite ends and just smiled. Warm, loving, full of adoration smiles. Even through some terribly frightening times, we managed to have a great life together. It wouldn't have been possible with anyone else, not like this. We were one of those very lucky couples that actually married our soulmates.

The next day we had everyone over for a more casual leftovers dinner and, while we were hanging out watching college football and kids were running around (I actually love that sound), I found time to take Cammy aside. There was something I had to talk to her about. Maybe a couple of somethings.

We put on our coats and sat out back, overlooking the yellowed grass and bare trees. "So, Jon, it looks like you're doing all right with Vincent and Maria. They seem to be adjusting."

"We're getting there. Rachel was a huge help yesterday. She got through to him in a matter of minutes; he just took to her when he saw her guitar and found out about the piano. She's giving him a few lessons today and tomorrow. If he likes it, we'll get him lessons. Maria wants to be a ballerina."