Eve & Lucy Ch. 02: Cast

"Well, that's... that's lovely Carrie. I'm very... very lucky. B-b... However, surely you'd...you'd prefer company other than... other than your mother."

"Who else am I going to catch the train with?"

"That's not... not what I mean... I mean, if you want... you want to sleep in... or if you... you want to stay out. You don't have to... to chaperone me. You've got to ... to live your life."

I sigh. This has been a recurring theme the past few months. Not just from her: Jeff and Gran have been on at me about the same.

"I am living my life!" To distract her I tell her about hanging out with Dom and Oliver, exaggerating mildly, making it seem like it was more of a collaboration between friends rather than what it really is - me taking pity on Oliver and basically doing his work for him. She looks so eager, so pleased, I almost feel guilty.

We walk back from the station. I leave her at Gran's, watching her go in the door, then carry on a couple of streets to Dave and Karen's. Poor Karen - the memes really haven't been kind to her. I've been coming round to Mike's parents most Mondays for years, ever since we came back from the Newport Nightmare.

"That you Carrie?" Dave calls from the sofa as I push the door open. I've got my own key. They also tried to get me to move in with them after Mum lost custody of the boys.

"Yep! How's it going?"

"Hi Carrie pet," Karen comes through from the kitchen to kiss me, "food won't be long."

"Great!"

I join Dave on the couch to watch the News. It's pretty grim. Thankfully, Karen wasn't lying and we're soon called through to the dining room. These two, I came to realise in my teenaged years, are old school working class. Dave's on the docks at Avonmouth; Karen works at the Co-op. Everything is clean and polished, the curtains chintz, the garden front neat and tidy, the car washed on weekends. Food is meat and two veg and served on china. They don't change and I've always appreciated that about them.

Over food, I tell them both about my day, especially about having lunch with Mike. I probably see him, and them, more than they see each other these days.

I tell them about the play and groan through the obligatory "sounds like a devil of a part" joke.

"So, I guess we might not be seeing you on Mondays then." Karen makes it sound like a statement, rather than a question. "You'll be too busy with rehearsal and such I should imagine."

"Oh, probably not, though maybe I'll come on another night."

"Don't be silly Carrie! You young people, you've got better things to do than visit your Grandparents."

I start to protest.

"No, no, you listen to me young lady," Karen bulls over me, "don't think for a moment that me and your Granddad don't like your visits. If there's another set of Grandparents round here that have a granddaughter who's as loyal with her visits as you I should like to know. We're always happy to see you, so's we are. But," she looks to Dave for support and he nods emphatically, "you ought to be out with people your own age. Don't think we don't know how often you're over with your brothers, neither. That's all right and proper, yer ´tis, but still, it's a shame: a smart girl like you, hiding away here. You ought to be out and about!"

God, what is with everyone? If I didn't know that they loathed each other, I'd almost suspect my Mum had put Karen up to this.

I stay later than usual, watching mindless TV with them, just to prove a point. It does nothing to stop me from thinking about Amanda.

Not then.

Not later.

* * *

Tuesday night, and we're having our first read through as a cast. Keke's decided to do it at his place in Redland. I arrive late as I had to drop Mum off at her AA meeting. Gran did offer, but she'll need to pick Mum up and I didn't want to impose. Then it takes ages to find somewhere to park. So I'm pretty much the last one there.

"Hey," says Keke.

"Sorry I'm late. Parking."

"That's cool. We're in the sitting room. Just on the left. Do you want a drink?"

"Oh, um, tea please? Just milk?"

"Sure. I've got beer though?"

"Nah, thanks, I'm driving."

"Ok, I'll be in in a minute."

I walk in and start to say hi to everyone. Haile's on an armchair opposite, next to two guys I don't recognise. Dev and Baz are sitting on cushions on the floor; Suzy's perched on the arm of a chair that a guy I think is called Rich is sitting in; Chen is on a bean bag and to my left on the sofa ... Amanda's naked. There's nobody next to her. She's naked!

"Hey Carrie!" she waves, then leans over and tugs me by the hand to sit next to her.

"Um..."

The others all laugh.

"Yeah," she says, "don't worry, like, they pretty much all reacted like that!"

My mind can't really function. Everyone's giggling and grinning at me. I keep opening and closing my mouth trying to take this in. She is, of course, stunning. And naked. Her skin is gorgeous, though I notice bruising on her ankle. Safe topic!

"Uh... how's your ankle?"

"Like, still a little sore. My flatmate's boyfriend drove me over, but I was, like, wondering if I could, like, grab a lift back with you after...?" She smiles at me. Is she flirting? I wouldn't normally see this as such... but then she's not normally naked. "Actually, would you mind if..." she chucks a cushion on my lap, then swings her legs up, giving me a full view of what has dominated my dreams the last two nights, and plops her feet on it. "Ah, that's better. Thanks Carrie."

Ok, I have to ask.

"Yeah, uh, sure, that'll be fine, but.. Can I... I mean... Why... err..."

"You mean, why am I naked?" she supplies.

There's a laugh from the rest of the cast.

"Anyone want to, like, answer for me?" She turns to the rest of the room. "I feel like I must have said this, like, 5 times already!"

"Go on, you tell her A," Dev calls.

"Ok, ok, you know I'm gonna be naked on stage, right? So, like I figured we all needed to get, like, used to it. I mean, it'd be a crappy performance if everyone's staring at my tits and, like, forgets their lines. Plus I don't wanna get, like, stage fright or anything so I need to, like, get used to it too?"

I'm not sure I could ever stop being distracted by her tits, no matter how often I see them. They are so perfect they are practically a cliché.

"You're so committed Amanda, I can't believe it," Suzy says from across the room, to a murmur of agreement from the rest of the cast.

"But, you'll freeze," I say, stupidly. Like that's the most important thing here.

Apparently, I was being funny, as everyone laughs.

"No, seriously! The rehearsal rooms are freezing."

"It'll be fine. Something else I need to, like, get used to," she shrugs, which does both wonderful and terrible things to her beautiful breasts. I rip my eyes away.

Suddenly, Haile's on his feet. "A'it," he grunts, "gotta get with my girl Amanda there, innit?" He kicks off his shoes and starts pulling his socks off.

"What you doing Haile?" Keke asks as he comes in with my tea.

"It's like I'm Adam, yo? She be Eve. Like, it won't look right if I'm in threads she's in the buff, ya get me?" He pulls off his hoodie and T-shirt. Underneath, he's absolutely ripped. I hear Amanda hum to herself and Suzy's body language immediately goes to Defcon horny. "My girl A got it locked down, right? This how we gonna roll. We all gotta be down wid it." With that, he strips down his low-rise jeans, and suddenly he's just in his boxers, and then these are gone and I hear an "Oh my!" from Amanda as the biggest schlong I've seen is dangling a few feet from us. I mean, I haven't seen many, but that thing is huge. Must be at least 10 inches and it's fat too.

"Like, A, if the big boy gives you a wave, don't take it personal, ya yet me? It's all good girl."

"Totally Haile babe, like, no worries at all." There's a note of awe in her voice. Not sure how I feel about that.

Haile sits back down. There's a moment of silence.

"Ok," Baz clears his throat, "shall we get on with the read through?"

He passes out the scripts and we get to it. The two guys I didn't know are first years called Ethan and Josh, and are playing Cain and Abel. Both are really white. Given that Haile and Amanda are playing Adam and Eve, this is going to stretch credibility a little. Dev's God, while Chen, Rich and Suzy are playing the angels Raphael, Azrael and Chemuel.

"Ok," begins Keke, "Baz will read stage directions. Take us away Baz."

Baz clears his throat and begins. "Music. A night sky full of stars. Day spreads its pristine light, forming shadows in the contrasting sunlight. It is Paradise, the ultimate Garden..."

As we read, I realise I've screwed up. I'd meant for Amanda to get the lead, to be the one to shine, but I'd been so fixated on the character of Eve, thinking it was the only role for a woman, I'd not thought about the others. Lucifer is so much more of a part. In fact, I think to myself, it's possibly the main part. Not that most people will notice that, what with Haile and Amanda strutting their stuff in the buff.

We also have a few scenes together, which are going to be, er, interesting...

Amanda practically purrs in Act Two. "Oh, yes! When our fingers touched around the apple-"

"Flesh to naked flesh!" I gasp back. I've no need to flashback to Sunday; she's right here in front of me, in all her glory. She looks divine.

"And I awoke and saw myself! How beautiful I was!"

You still are babe, I add mentally, as we continue the scene.

"Lie back, dear."

"Oh, thank you, angel, I will adore you forever!" I try to keep my eyes on my script, not her bare body inches from me.

Then she follows the stage directions by starting to spread her knees as I say, "I certainly hope so. Now just try to relax..."

This is going to be torture, especially once we start touching... though Amanda is already making overtures in this direction.

Eventually, it ends. There's a round of applause followed by some discussion about whether to do an outdoor performance. The Botanical Garden is mooted, as is Goldney, but it's past eleven and I need to get going.

"Anyone else need a lift to Clifton?" I don't really want to be alone with Amanda.

"Err...we're in Manor, if that's cool to get a lift?" Ethan says, pointing at himself and Josh.

"Oh, yeah, fine. That's close to you, right Amanda?"

"Um... yeah, really close." Her smile seems slightly strained.

"Cool, yep, no problem then. You, uh, get dressed and I'll go get the car. I'll be back in 5."

* * *

The GT gets gushes of appreciation from the boys, as I knew it would when I pulled up. "Right, come on pile in."

"Do you mind if I go in the front guys?" Amanda asks, "it's just awkward with my ankle."

"Oh yeah, sure."

If squishing my teenage brothers in the back was hard, getting these two thesps in is frankly farcical, but we manage. "All right back there?"

"Yep!"

"Who's this playing Carrie?" Amanda asks.

I toot as I pull away. "No idea, just the radio. Late night Liz, I think."

"Is that a cassette player?" Rich yells from the back.

"Yeah!"

"Oh wow!"

"I know, right? It's the original unit too, which is why I don't dare swap it out for something blue-tooth enabled."

"Must be so cool driving this to Uni everyday," Ethan enthuses.

"Oh, I don't. I get the train to Clifton Down every morning. Season ticket. This is pretty late for me: I usually get the 8:20."

"Like, why? Do you have, like, 9 o'clock lectures or something?"

"Nah, not usually. Some days I don't have anything until the afternoon. It's just my routine. I go to the library or the gym, read, work out, write essays. It leaves my evenings free."

"Oh yeah, like, for what?" Amanda has rested her hand on my arm. I shift my hand from the gear stick to the steering wheel, dislodging it. I really don't want to do anything to encourage her.

"Rehearsals," I say.

* * *

"Would you like to come in for a bit?" Amanda asks, after I've helped her up the steps to her front door.

"I can't. I'm parked on double yellows."

"Well, I meant after you'd parked properly."

"What for, Amanda?"

She seems at a loss for how to reply, but her body language has FLIRT written across it in all caps font 72.

"Look," I sigh, "I can't. I really, really like you, I've had a crush on you forever." I see her brightening and need to let her down gently. "I would fall for you and you don't even... you've had one afternoon with a woman, Amanda!"

"So wh-..." she begins, but I talk over her.

"And I can't have a relationship at the moment. And it's, what, 3 months until the end of Uni? Then who knows where we'll be?" I sigh. "I'm sorry, I just don't think it's a good idea. We'll both end up getting hurt."

She looks like she's on the verge of tears. I really want to wrap her in my arms and kiss them away. But I can't. I know the longer this goes the worse it will feel. So, summoning my resolve, I lean past her and push the buzzer for the second floor.

"Get one of your flatmates to help you up the stairs. I'll see you on Thursday for rehearsal."

I turn and go, before I start crying.

When I get to the Downs, I pull in and sob. Then I do my best to clean up my face with water from my drinking bottle. I don't want any more interrogations when I get home.

* * *

Later, I stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom, topless. I need to read the words on my skin, to remind myself.

I am my mother's keeper.

Amanda - Wednesday

"I mean, I don't know why it matters so much to me?" I whine. God, I sound childish. I can tell the girls are really trying to be sympathetic, but seriously I would have given up on me by this point. "I mean, a few days ago I would have been happy to, like, never see her again. And now, you know, I just want her to..." sniff, "notice..." sniff, "me."

"Oh, Amanda babe." Louise pats my leg sympathetically. They are just letting me get it all out, listening to me, hearing me, acknowledging me.

"I mean, she even smuggled in these massive, like, space heaters so, like, me and Haile wouldn't freeze? Dragged them out of her Gran's garage? I mean, who does that for somebody they don't, like, really care about, you know?"

They nod in sympathy. I've probably told them that twice already since getting back from the first rehearsal earlier that evening. They are such good friends and the thought sets me off crying again. I collapse sideways onto Lydia.

"You're, like, such good friends," I sniff, "I'm going to miss you, like, SO much next year."

Sarah squirms uncomfortably at this. She and Samantha are getting their own place. Like me, Louise is undecided about what to do next year, but Lydia and Keith will both head to London.

As if summoned by my thoughts, Keith emerges from Lydia's room, where he has sensibly been hiding.

"Hey, anyone want a brew?" he asks.

There's a general murmur of agreement.

"Thanks Keith. You've got him, like, so well trained Lids."

"Don't I know it!"

"Simp for life," he calls back, to a chorus of laughter.

"You're, like, so," sniff, "lucky..." I start crying again. This is ridiculous. I'm sure it's just my pride. Any boy I'd tried the moves I'd been pulling the past week on Carrie would currently be curled up naked in my bed swearing I was the only girl he'd ever want. Yet, Carrie has either ignored or politely declined everything I've tried on her. It's maddening and the combination of lust and pity in her eyes is more than I can take.

"Here you go Amanda."

"Thanks."

Keith clears his throat. "Um... look, I know that you probably just want to vent. I'm slowly learning that girls usually just want somebody to listen to them, not to try and fix their problems," he glances lovingly at Lydia, who smiles back, "but have you tried talking to Samantha about this?"

The girls and I all look blankly at each other. What?

"Um.... no?"

"It's just she's got a really logical way of seeing things. I mean, seriously, sometimes she can just see what needs doing, and it's, like, wow."

Three heads swivel to Sarah.

"Err... yeah, I guess she does." Sarah's nodding, looking slightly sheepish. "Um... actually, to be fair, this is probably one area where Samantha is very well equipped to assist. She has probably read more lesbian romance at this point than anyone else on the planet."

"Like, why haven't you mentioned this, like, before?" I ask.

Sarah shrugs.

"Actually," interjects Keith, "maybe it's because before all your... um... issues were with... you know, guys? I mean, and that wasn't anything Samantha knew about but, now, it's with a girl so...? I know she was really good wh-" he suddenly stops and looks a little guilty. "Anyway, I just thought I'd mention it."

"Uh huh," says Lydia, getting up. "Excuse me ladies, I think Keith and I need to have a little chat," she grabs his hand and starts towing him down the hall.

"Oh," Keith gulps. "It was nothing bad babe, honest..." he begins as he follows Lydia to her room.

The three of us look at each other for a beat, then burst into a giggle. Suddenly, I feel a little better.

"So, like, do you think Samantha would be, like, up for talking to me about this?"

"Well, I suspect so," Sarah replies, "let's ask."

"Can I come?" Louise asks.

"Er..." Sarah looks at me, and I nod. Why not? Louise has basically heard it all. "Sure, ok, let me just check what Samantha's up to."

Louise and I follow Sarah the few paces to the door of her room. She signals for us to wait and then opens the door. She's blocking the entrance, so we can't see in, but from the angle she's clearly looking at their bed, and from the look and blush on her face she absolutely adores what she sees.

"Um... Samantha, gorgeous, do you think you could put, um, something else on? Amanda was hoping to speak to you?"

Samantha's reply is too low to hear.

"Nooooo, I'm sure Amanda would appreciate your outfit, but it might also be distracting. So I think it would be best to put something else on. Maybe your dressing gown?"

Louise and I share a look, eyes wide. Is it wrong to want to see what she's wearing?

"Yes, beautiful, I realise that means that we might not have time for anything later. That's ok with me. Is it ok with you? Did you have something special in mind?"

Again, Samantha's reply is inaudible.

"Oh!" Sarah bites her lip and crosses her legs, "that... er.. that, really, um... that sounds like it would be... mmmm... really wonderful," she sighs. She looks back at me quickly, before continuing, twirling her hair in her finger, "but, you know, we could always try that tomorrow? I think Amanda could really use our support tonight."

We hear Samantha moving around and mumbling something.

"Yes, I know, gorgeous, but helping out our friend Amanda will make me feel good too.... In a very different way," she hastily adds. She pauses. "So, is that ok?"

"Of course. Even if it means forgoing giving you orgasms, I am happy to help Amanda. I hope I can." Samantha appears in the doorway, wrapped in her long dressing gown. She seems taller than usual.

She holds her arms out, in her cute and slightly awkward way, and I shuffle forward for a hug. Something hard pokes me from under her gown. It's really distracting. "Um... like, thanks Samantha."

"Do you mind if I come in?" Louise pipes up from behind me.

"Oh. No, I do not mind, if Amanda does not mind?"

"Yeah, come on Louise."

There's not much space in their room, barely enough for a desk, double bed and a chest of drawers that serves as a dresser. They do have a built-in wardrobe though.

Sarah, Louise and I perch on the bed, being careful not to spill our tea, while Samantha sits at the desk, opening her laptop. I feel suddenly nervous, as if I have to be careful about how I speak.