Evelyn's Victorian Dilemma

I sat, unable to remain standing as the full impact of his intentions became clear to me. And of the intolerable price if I did not acquiesce. Again his words about joining us troubled me without my fully comprehending.

"What is it that you expect? That I should allow you time with this girl while I wait patiently downstairs, or sleep in another room?"

He sipped his whiskey with no concern for my emotional state.

"No. Was I not clear? Amelia is to join us. As a third party in our lovemaking."

That was too much for me. I screamed out and ran from the room.

I lay on my side refusing to look at him as he sat on the edge of the bed to undress for the night. I prayed he wouldn't touch me.

"I have arranged for Amelia to come again on Friday. That is when we shall initiate our new arrangement."

I shuddered, clutching the pillow tightly between my fingers. It had been a good hour before Henry had climbed the stairs to our room. An hour in which I had fought a battle between wishing to pack and leave this house and finding a way to accommodate his wishes. Only fear for what would happen to my mother and father, and my two siblings without his support kept me from running.

I suggested my acquiescence.

"I understand what it is you will do." I said quietly.

"I do not understand what I am supposed to be in this ...arrangement."

"My darling. You have had a sheltered upbringing. That I understand. And I have educated you carefully in the ways of men over the past year. This is just another step which I will explain to you."

I didn't want to hear it, but I lay there letting his words scar me even deeper.

"Obviously, I shall please you both, but I expect the two of you to engage in ... an equally passionate manner, both with me and together when I need to rest.

In practice, it will be little different to what currently happens between you and I. Except that Amelia will partake in the activity and thus bring another, enjoyable dynamic to our relationship."

At that, I sat up and stared at him in horror.

"You expect me to ... to ... embrace this girl in my bed?"

"I believe the popular term is to have a passionate friendship.

If you find it difficult, I will instruct you on the detail."

I was flabbergasted.

"I will not.

I am not some Jack to be whored out to your blowen."

"It will not be like that. You will come to enjoy it as you have come to enjoy making the beast with two humps or having your tiny roundmouth stretched around my tackle."

At that, I lost my mind and wailed. Henry remained unconcerned as I broke down into hysteria.

"Have I not proved myself a good wife?

Have I not done everything you have requested of me? Even when it was ... unpleasant for me?"

"My darling. You have been an excellent wife. Perfect to a fault."

"Then why do you also need this woman? What have I failed you at?"

I snivelled and reached for the handkerchief tucked in my sleeve.

"You should not see it as your failure. Indeed it is a testimony to you that I wish to share what other men hide away."

I was well aware that many men had lovers. It was the way of men. I would even accept that of Henry if he had not so blatantly presented me with the evidence of his indiscretions. But to expect me to be a willing participant was of a level I had never heard.

To my disbelief, he put his hand to my shoulder when he lay in the bed and pulled me over onto my back.

"You cannot really expect ..."

He most certainly did. Henry ignored my tears, pushing my nightgown up to my waist despite my protestations and my attempts to return the garment to its proper place. I smelt whiskey on his breath and for the first time, I feared him.

"No."

A pitiful request he did not honour. I lay as a corpse as he filled my inlet and let him take his pleasure. But I could not respond knowing that he had lay with this Amelia and done all the things he had done with me. I was sickened when he withdrew and covered my fur and hips with his devil-tainted cream.

I ran to the wash bowl as soon as he rolled from me and washed his mettle away.

"I do not recognise you as the man I married." I said with disdain.

"But you did marry me and now you are to fulfil my wishes as any good wife should."

In that moment I saw Henry only as evil.

I thought hard to find every way I could escape the fate Henry intended for me. I even considered throwing myself from the newly opened Hammersmith Bridge. But no matter my considerations, I was faced with the stark reality that any choice I made would also condemn my family. I felt that was the biggest evil of Henry's intentions. That he knew I was in dilemma and could not refuse. And with that came a realisation that I was as much his prostitute as Amelia.

I pleaded with him to reconsider.

"I will tolerate you seeing her if that is what you wish. But I cannot indulge in sapphism. I have no inclination to that kind of behaviour."

Henry reached for the whiskey again.

"I am told complementary intimacy between two fair ladies is a most pleasurable experience."

"Not for me."

He looked at me with eyes darker than I had seen before.

"But it will be.

I have decided."

"Why do you seek to humiliate me so?"

I withered as he drank more of his whiskey, fearing the drink would feed his anger with me.

"I do not.

What I seek is to bring you ever greater pleasure. To unlock the stuffy inhibitions of our society and bring untold joy to you."

I stared in disbelief at his words. And at his unshakable certainty that it was indeed what he was doing. I could see no way to convince him otherwise.

Thus, as the fateful day arrived, with a numbness, I resigned myself to being a plaything to his games.

SIX

Henry was like an excited schoolboy on Friday night. I was resigned to the activity he intended. I had spent the previous days in despair trying to find a way to escape his deviance but I could not avoid the reality of my financial dependency on him. And that of my family.

As I waited in silence for this strumpet to arrive by carriage my stomach churned uncontrollably. I'd avoided dinner, unsure if I would keep it down when the time came.

It hurt to see her. Outwardly she was a well-dressed young lady of impeccable manners. There was nothing to suggest her moral decadence. She could easily have been another man's wife. But she was not. She was a whore no matter what socially acceptable name Henry might give her.

It was disconcerting to see them exchanging pleasantries. Even more so that she continually looked me over. I could feel her eyes examining me as her licentious mind imagined all the things she would do to me. I shivered with the cold of the grave.

"Come, Evelyn." Henry commanded.

"The servants have retired and we are alone. It's time to go to the bedroom."

It was so hard for me to take each step. I was grateful that he had not insisted on some game in our drawing room, but now my bedroom seemed to me like a dungeon that promised only torture. I stumbled on the stairs as Henry remained behind me to stop me from fleeing.

"Careful."

I kept going as if I were the condemned being guided to the gallows. Only thoughts of my ailing father stopped me from committing the heinous crime of turning and pushing Henry, and his mistress down the stairs. That they would break their necks was something I could live with. Surely no just court would convict me.

Amelia was more confident at this than I was. Inside the room, she removed her clothing without hesitation and I was treated to a view of her slender legs and teardrop-shaped fruits. Her bush over her cunny was sparse and as fair as the hair on her head. I could only think that Henry intended me to ... do things there. I was shaking as she brazenly climbed into my bed giving me a further view of her private parts from behind. She had no shame.

I gasped and held a hand to my mouth and she turned to look at me.

"We are all the same, Evelyn. Do not act so shocked."

I turned away fully intending to run from this room but Henry took hold of my wrist.

"Come along. Let me help you."

He began unfastening my dress while I again stared at Amelia as she lay in my bed with her bosom on display to me. Were her fruits so much better than mine? I found myself studying them. Their curve and fullness. The way they sat on her chest and moved as she breathed.

She watched me in return as I was derigged. Bright, alert eyes studying flesh that creeped as I felt the terror that she would soon touch it in a sinful way.

"Please." I begged Henry.

"Do not make me do this."

"It won't be so bad." Amelia said to me, this time with a surprising kindness in her tone.

I'd expected her to be much coarser, belittling. But there was a sympathy to her voice, and perhaps even a nervousness. For a moment I saw her as closer to me than Henry. Were we both victims of a kind?

My corset being lifted away brought me back to the moment and I put my arms up to cover my fruits how I had that first night.

"Please. I do not wish to do this." I said once more with a faltering voice.

"But I do wish for you to."

Unable to think how I could stop him I found myself as naked as Amelia, conscious that she now studied my cunny with the same curiosity as I had hers.

"Get into bed my darling."

I was an automaton as I did as I was told, pulling the covers over me. I could not look at the girl who shared my space.

Henry began to undress, removing his collar and shirt.

"Why don't you get acquainted." He said with a leer.

He sat on the edge of the bed with his gaying instrument held in his hand. I don't think it had ever looked so threatening and unattractive to me. And to see him touch himself, pulling on the loose skin that covered his staff was repulsive.

I quivered as Amelia's hand took my attention, caressing my thigh. It moved a little higher with each stroke.

"I won't hurt you." She whispered.

I was shaking when she lowered her head to my bosom and planted soft kisses on my pale flesh as it heaved with each panicked breath.

"Oh, Lord."

Amelia was gentle, every touch feather-like. My flesh charged with an energy and I felt the fire Henry stoked inside of me. I was both horrified and confused by the betrayal of my body.

It was clear to me that my forbearance was to be tested and under the careful guidance of Amelia's hand I lay back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Uh, Mm."

When she fondled my fruits and suckled my nubs I lost all semblance of reasoned thought and let her do as she wished.

"Uhhh."

My utterances came as a shock. Uncontrolled escapes of an arousal I did not want.

"Oh my god."

Her face came up to mine. A smile that seemed sweet and apologetic played on her lips.

"It is best if we just relax and do what feels natural." She whispered.

None of this felt natural. It was an abomination. She kissed me. It was the soft kiss of a lover and I kept my lips tightly closed against any invading quail pipe.

I jumped as her hand glided over my cunny, brushing my sable fur as though it were a small animal, then back to the wetness concealed beneath it that I was suddenly aware of.

"Oh god. Please no."

"Shush.

It pleases Henry." She whispered as if to excuse her sordid actions.

Again I wondered how much of a willing participant she was.

I didn't notice when the bed covers were pulled away. I only became aware when Amelia committed the most heinous of sins. She put her mouth to my most private place and pressed her quail-pipe into me.

"Oh god, no." I cried out.

Henry had hold of me when I moved to escape, pulling my head toward his staff. I reacted without thought and took it between my lips as I had so many times before. That was the point where I lost control of my body and let the devil take hold of me.

If nothing else, his cock was familiar to me. My actions well practiced. And throwing myself into sucking him, I had less time to realise fully what was being done to me. That is until my body betrayed me.

That her mouth and fingers could deliver the same joyous result as Henry shocked and disgusted me. A disgust I felt at myself more than I did Amelia. I could not comprehend that god had seen fit to equip me with a cunny that responded equally to a sinful act as it did to a husband's love.

"Uhhh.

Lord, no."

I shuddered as the unwanted feeling passed through me like a crashing wave frothing on the beach.

Almost immediately I was manhandled onto my knees. Henry took me from behind, pressing my face down into Amelia's groin.

"Kiss that flower." He ordered.

"Taste her sweet honey."

Her wet cunny was at my face, covering me in its womanly nectar. I tasted Amelia on my lips expecting to be disgusted.

I'm not sure if it was relief or the numbness of my terror that I was pleasantly surprised at its sweetness and I found myself lapping at her warm pink flesh while Henry led me to the pinnacle of a mountain. From there it was only a short time to my taking a great tumble into a sweet death.

Amelia was between my thighs again as I recovered. Licking my delicate flesh as her buttocks were lifted and fitted to Henry's staff. I had a view of his face I could not look away from. That same intense pleasure he had when he lay with me. Only this time it was her cunny that had him so excited.

Amelia continued to finger my virgin's flower as she succumbed to Henry's taking of her. I did not stop her. But nor was I rewarded by a further sting of pleasure.

In a daze, I watched them moving with the same frenzied rocking that I had assumed would be a private activity reserved only for me. Now I was with the full knowledge that he had been doing this away from my sight every Wednesday since the day we had married.

I continued staring, comparing this young woman to myself. Did she respond with more enthusiasm? Was she more beautiful, or her bosom more pleasing?

When Henry had taken his fill of us, I turned to sleep. It took a while to come as I was disturbed by the fact that there were two warm bodies in my bed other than me. That troubled me immensely, as did the certain knowledge that I would likely spend eternity in hell for what I'd done. But there was also the great feeling of release from my madness. A relaxation existed in my muscles that no other activity could achieve.

I swear I heard her whisper 'sorry' as I lay in the dark. Or perhaps it was my imagination.

It was a shock to wake and discover that none of it had been a dream. The woman I wished would dissipate as smoke from the fire remained.

She lay between us still asleep. Her fair hair spread wild over my pillow and her globes uncovered, rising and falling slowly with each shallow breath. She was a harlot. A whore who opened her legs at a whim. But she was also a delicate flower and I could see the great beauty that captivated Henry. I looked away, refusing to be drawn any deeper into his fantasy of our having what he termed a passionate friendship. I could not see how I would ever call this strumpet a friend, of any kind.

What had transpired was a reality though. That I could not escape. Nor could I avoid that it was not over. I doubted it would ever be over. It was a nightmare that had begun a week earlier with a dinner I had sat through in confusion. And now I had sunk into the depths of Henry's trap, finding myself as a helpless puppet to perform as he directed.

He did not raise a hand to me, but I was Judy to his Punch. Why I should think of a child's puppet show was not clear to me. But I saw it as more than entertainment. It was an insight into a married life I had thought I would never see. The domination of a man over a woman. Punch used violence. Henry's preferred tools were manipulation and dependency. The result, however, was the same.

Were my humiliation not complete enough, I had to endure Amelia's company all day before we were expected to repeat the performance that night. It passed in a hazy blur with polite conversation I hardly responded to and Henry lording it over us like he was king of his castle.

When the fateful time arrived again, it came easier to me. I was now acquainted with the activities of two sapphic individuals and found that even though I would have wished not to, I could emulate their behaviour.

As the previous night, Henry was keen to watch at first, encouraging us to touch and kiss one another where we shouldn't. I participated in a daze, as if I was disembodied. A voyeur to another's degradation. Someone who only happened to look like me.

After that, he had Amelia ride him as though he were a horse while I was made to watch, before subjecting me to my ultimate humiliation. Right before Amelia's watchful eyes, he lifted my posterior into the air and sodomised me.

"Oh, Lord Jesus. It hurts."

Henry was possessed, thrusting his steed deep into my anus with no care for my distaste. And all the while, his whore watched.

After, as Henry rolled away to sleep, I cried at the very edge of the bed not wishing to have him touch me even by accident. To my surprise, Amelia comforted me, whispering soothing words into my ear until I calmed. In that moment I felt more of a kinship to his whore than I did the husband who had promised to love and cherish me.

In the morning we took breakfast in silence before Amelia was despatched by carriage like some used and discarded implement. I supposed that was exactly what she was to Henry. Both of us just whores to ease the discomfort of his stiff staff and empty his over-filled ballocks.

I did not talk to Henry again that day, instead preferring to sit and read in my room. Not that the words passing under my eyes came to me with any recognition. I was unseeing, lost to a furtive mind intent on all sorts of unpleasant imaginings.

I could not exorcise the images of what I had done in my head. No amount of prayers had saved me. Perhaps my lapsed faith was the reason god had forsaken me. What was clear to me now was that I had sinned so badly, our Lord would never be in my heart again.

By the evening, I had cried several more times and I had become cold of heart. I dressed and went downstairs for the first time that day as our evening meal was served. Cold meats and bread, followed with a selection of cheeses. I was hungry having missed midday dinner and I eagerly feasted under the watchful eyes of a husband I no longer knew.

"Did it please you?" I asked eventually.

"Very much so. You are both exquisite creatures of great beauty. No man can resist your charms. Especially when you are together as one."

I nodded slowly. He'd answered as expected. And with it, my fate was sealed.

"So you intend for this to happen weekly?" It was a statement of fact rather than a question. I already knew his answer.

"Yes.

Do not look so forlorn. It was your first time. It is well known that ladies have delicate nerves. As on our wedding night when I scuttled your ship, you are bound to have been anxious at an unfamiliar experience. But with time you will grow to relish it as you do all the other things I have instructed you in."

I swallowed to clear my throat, moving my knife around the plate in abstract concentration. I nodded slowly.

"Perhaps I will." I said with no conviction.

I accepted that it would happen. That I would engage in ... whatever term described copulation between two girls. And that Henry would take his pleasure of us both as it pleased him. I would do it because I had no alternative. He was my husband and I could not survive without him. And to my eternal shame, neither could my family.

SEVEN

The following week it was easier still. I knew what to expect, and what was expected of me. I could not say I wanted to do these things, but I didn't find them so distasteful. And I did not wait for instruction.