Evelyn's Victorian Dilemma

I took a deep breath as sadness welled inside me.

"It is that it is done with Henry's ... direction and incessant demands."

I pulled my eyes from her body, distrusting the confusion in me and what else I might say without thought.

Amelia remained quiet for a moment, just swishing the warm water with her hand in a thoughtful manner.

"Sometimes I find Henry goes too far." She said quietly.

I didn't answer her. It was more often than not that he went too far these days. And I had to suffer the indignity even in the times she was not present. I wondered if her liaisons on the Wednesdays were less pleasant than I had imagined.

"What is it of your father? That is his hold over you, is it not?"

Now she had my attention again. I considered it an intrusion to ask of my personal issues. Then I eased my mood back. I could not see what harm there was in acknowledging why I did this.

"My father ...

He is a good man who has worked as a carpenter to provide for his family. He made fine furniture for the big houses in the county and it paid for us to have a small cottage in a village not more than two hours ride from here. It is where I and my sisters were born."

I played with the water, pouring a handful over my shoulders. It cascaded down, running between my globes before trickling back to its source. Amelia was respectfully quiet waiting for me to finish. I took a deep breath to hold back the tears I could feel again welling inside me.

"He paid for our education and brought us up to be young ladies. With the fair complexion of my mother, it was expected that I would marry well and have a better life. And also my sisters who are as equally pretty."

"And what has happened now?"

"He has cancer." I said quickly as if it would make it less serious.

"He cannot work and is reliant on money Henry sends him each month."

"I see. You do this because of your family."

I nodded.

Amelia let her breath expel in a gasp.

"Then you are more a prisoner of circumstance than I.

I am sorry, Evelyn. I at least only choose for myself. I cannot imagine how it must be to know that my decisions affect loved ones."

I shifted in the water, sitting higher.

"So now you know my secrets as well as you know my body."

"It seems so."

What she did next was a surprise. She leaned forward and before I could escape her, she kissed me on the lips. But this time there was no attempt to push her tongue into my mouth. It was an affectionate kiss and over quickly. I was left confused.

"Why did you do that?"

For a moment she just stared at my face, as if looking at my soul.

"Because I wish ... I didn't bring you so much pain."

She pulled her eyes away and stood. Water fell from her slender body in a waterfall just inches from my eyes.

"The water is becoming cold." She said stepping out.

She patted herself down and wrapped herself in a robe before holding a towel up for me.

"We can be hopeful that Henry has fallen asleep." She said.

Indeed he had. He slumbered in his chair and we left him there, going up to bed together. It felt strange sleeping in this bed together when it wasn't at the insistence of Henry. Even stranger that we only slept. And stranger still, that a tiny part of me regretted that she did not touch me.

NINE

Henry's appetites only grew over the coming weeks. Mostly his thirst for alcohol, but his demands from myself and Amelia were also strong.

I did not look forward to the weekends and I began to understand more and more that Amelia was far from the willing party in his games. That she was equally ashamed of being paraded naked and made to offer each of her holes on request made me more amendable to her with each occasion. And I could not escape the growing observation that when he had us perform for him, it was more gentle and without the discomfort of some of the things he wished us to do for him. Indeed I had come to prefer our interactions to those he foisted upon me.

But it seems even we could not entirely feed his appetite for the pleasures of the flesh.

I discovered another of his secrets the evening before a further visit to see my father. I wanted to request permission to stay overnight rather than return the same day. It would be a Wednesday so I felt sure he would be agreeable. I went looking for him when he did not join me in the drawing room after dinner, only to find no trace of him in the main house.

In a final search, I ventured down to the servant's quarters. They were gathered by the big fire in the kitchens, but it was sounds I heard from the store room that caught my attention before I reached them.

With great care as though at some subconscious level I knew what I would find, I pushed the door open softly.

I froze at the sight of Henry's bare buttocks and Rose's spread knees on either side of his waist. She was pressed up against the far wall with her maid's uniform rumpled up around her waist. He supported her with his hands under bare thighs as he impaled the young girl on his prodigious engine.

I put my hand to my mouth to stifle any sound and stared for a moment.

He was rutting her ferociously, both of them oblivious to my presence. His grunts and her feminine gasps of rapture filled the small room.

I turned and ran before I was noticed, fearful that he might demand something degrading of me. Amelia sharing our bed each weekend was already a humiliation I found abominable. The thought that he should bring a servant to us on the other nights was something I could not bear.

I decided not to mention what I had seen for fear that it may encourage him to introduce us in some manner akin to the relationship he insisted I have with Amelia. Nor did I risk his wrath by asking about being away for a night.

I escaped his attention when he had finished with Rose by bathing. When I went to bed he was already asleep and I was strangely grateful to her for sparing me the indignity of his licentious demands for one night at least.

I did not say anything to Rose when she brought my breakfast the next morning. And her demeanour being as usual confirmed that I had not been noticed observing them in their throes of adulterous passion.

I watched her as she poured tea. She was not as slender as I, or Amelia, but she had a sweetness about her. Rosey cheeks reflected her name, and she had a great bosom that I had no doubt was a great comfort to Henry. I averted my eyes.

"Will there be anything else My Lady?"

"No. Thank you, Rose.

You have done enough."

As she exited the room I studied her posterior. Rounded, with childbearing hips. I wondered if her tight little roundmouth had been subjected to Henry's obsession with buttocks and ladies' back avenues.

After breakfast, I travelled to the cottage to visit my family where I once more adopted the image of the happy wife in a great love.

As was often the case, I found myself alone in Amelia's company during the afternoon on the following Saturday. I believe in his illusion of our becoming great friends he thought that leaving us alone was facilitating this in some way. At first, these hours had been very awkward. Long silences and accusing stares on my part while Amelia also looked as if she wished to be somewhere other than in my company.

However, as the weeks had passed into months we had moved to find the common ground we'd said we would. It became an opportunity to speak of things mostly unassociated with our situation. We even used the time to arrange flowers for the house and to practice piano.

For me, it was anything to keep my mind from thinking of what I would be expected to do again that evening.

This week I had news I wanted to share with Amelia.

"I should tell you that we are not the only ones Henry is ... entertaining himself with."

Amelia's eyes lifted to me questioningly, but there was little surprise.

"I saw him with one of the maids." I said.

"In the kitchen storerooms."

"What you say is not unexpected. I was not his only interest at the club."

She had not told me this before. And I could tell from her faltering voice that even now she thought I might react with hysteria. In truth, there was nothing more Henry could do that I would be enraged by. I was resigned to being his whore. And one of many.

"Tell me about the club." I asked.

"What sort of place is it?"

"Are you sure you wish to know?"

"I am."

"Very well.

It was a place of invite for gentlemen. And a place where ... more discerning girls such as myself sought introductions. A high-class brothel in essence."

"And this is where you worked?"

She shifted uncomfortably.

"The girls are not paid. We too are only by invitation. The club proprietors make their money from renting rooms and selling alcohol. It acts only as a place of introduction for clean girls and wealthy gentlemen.

Yes, I was one of those.

The girls ... some are there only for a good time and the appreciative gifts. Others, like me, were trying to find a man who would keep us as a mistress."

"Does that not shame you?"

"It does. But as I have said previously, my options were not varied."

I accepted that, wondering if I would be any different faced with such circumstances.

"You should consider that he does not always come to me on a Wednesday."

Another revelation.

"I am of no doubt he still visits the club to partake in the services of yet more girls. He was known for having an insatiable appetite.

It is to my regret that I did not consider the extent to which I would be expected to satisfy it in my haste to accept his generosity."

Once again Amelia was showing me that she was no more than I was in Henry's games.

"And we shall have to pay for his generosity again this evening." I said with a rare reference to what lay ahead for us.

"Indeed.

We are both Henry's whores.

It is only that I knew it when I first engaged with him, and you did not."

And pay we did. Once more Henry displayed his obsession with my buttocks. This time demanding I lay naked over his lap so that he could caress them with his hands.

Amelia was not spared the indignation of being made to parade her charms either.

"Now, sit in the chair where Evelyn can see you clearly and spread your legs."

Amelia's smile was practised. I could see that as she did as he had instructed. To the casual observer, it was a face of excitement and a sense of fun. In my more experienced observations of her, I could see the deadness behind her eyes. As I did, she performed. No amount of humiliation was too much if it avoided the life of the streets that beckoned to her and my family if we disobeyed.

Ahead of me, Amelia was in a chair, her legs hooked over the arms so that her cunny was exposed to my view when I lifted my head.

"Aren't you just peachy." He said turning his attention back to my buttocks.

"Keep your head up and watch. Amelia is going to pleasure herself for us."

I instantly looked down at the horror of what he was saying.

"Ow."

I jerked over his lap as he slapped me, sharp and hard.

"I said keep your head up. I wouldn't wish for you to miss this."

I had a plead for forgiveness in my eyes as I was forced to watch Amelia's fingers toying with the soft delicate flesh that sat between her thighs. I didn't want to watch.

Another slap came that sent ripples racing over my buttocks and left my hanging fruits bouncing.

"Please. That hurts."

"Keep your eyes open."

"They are open." I protested.

The sharp pain became a sting that aroused my cunny and made my fluids run. I felt so embarrassed.

Amelia was also showing her wetness. A liberal coating on her cunny flaps as lubricated, they glided around her constantly moving fingers.

Henry was stroking my buttocks again, letting his hand brush over my notch so that I twitched at each touch.

"Isn't it beautiful to watch?"

Once more he slapped me. This time the arousal was instant, coupled with the pain.

"Uhh."

Amelia was fingering her notch, pressing into it with each gentle rub. I became mesmerised. Held by my arousal and feeding it all at once.

Again and again, Henry delighted in tormenting my buttocks. Sharp smacks of varying strength and position, occasionally with a purposeful catch of my hot, swollen cunny. Then soothing strokes and caresses in between that occasionally involved rubbing a finger along my notch.

"Uhhh."

I moaned incessantly with a rising desire for him to deliver my critical moment.

"Ohhh."

Amelia's soft groans and snatched breaths joined me and it became a song of ecstacy for Henry's immense enjoyment.

Fingers were sliding deeper into her hole, spreading her notch and easing more of her nectar out onto her thighs. Her head went back as her legs tensed with her toes pointing rigidly. I knew the sign and as Henry gave me another slap directly on my cunny, I cried out just as she felt the sting of pleasure.

"Oh, Lord."

Her body gave sharp jerks and those fingers became pressed deep in the delicate flesh as she felt the point where her thoughts became a jumble. Then she relaxed.

"You're such a messy young lady in your paroxysm." Henry said.

I could hear the tiny quiver of his voice. Now he would choose how he would receive his payment.

"Evelyn. Go and clean your friend. Wash her velvet well."

I did not need explanation. It was clear what he meant. And I must admit, I was so close to my blissful agony that I had no difficulty. I slipped from his lap and crawled to Amelia's open legs. I could smell her as I moved closer. To my shame, I wanted to touch those smooth thighs and taste her wetness. Her hand stroked my head and a gentle guidance gave me permission.

I was in the grip of need as I drew my tongue along her soft, warm slit. It tasted like honey and I pressed my tongue wanting more.

Henry obliged my unhappy womb from behind as I cleaned Amelia of her delightful discharge. His steed was pushed into me and with a firm grip of my hips, he rogered me until I felt the pleasure of my resolution with what passed as a fit.

"Oh, god."

I was still shaking as he withdrew and rubbed his sinew in the crack of my buttocks until his mettle was released over my creamy pale flesh.

"Oh yes."

Almost the moment it was over I felt the disgust returning. I was filled with that deep sense of release from my frustration, but that I had taken pleasure in touching Amelia so intimately was suddenly abhorrent to my sensibility. I could not reconcile the lust with my shame.

I hated what I was becoming. What Henry was turning me into with what he called my education in matters of carnal pleasure.

TEN

The news that would shape my life once more came with a knock at the door late on Monday evening. A policeman.

It was an accident he said. The mere misfortune to be in the wrong place when the building collapsed in the gas explosion.

I was numbed to find myself a widow at such a young age. And it was a torment to be alone in my tears that night with no family or friends I could call upon at such a late time.

I had a troubled night with little sleep. Only the constant tumble of thoughts. Disbelief and grief. Relief and fear of the future. In one terrible event, I had been freed from my imprisonment, but it came with a terrible insecurity.

In the morning, I gathered my composure, I had a duty to perform before the task of writing letters to Henry's friends and acquaintances. That of informing the servants. I had them gather in the drawing room for ten in the morning, but before that, in an act of kindness, I summoned Rose alone.

"My Lady?"

I sat up straight in my chair and steadied my nerves.

"Please. Seat yourself, Rose."

She looked nervous as she sat in the chair I had conveniently placed for this conversation.

"I have some tragic news I have to share with you.

I thought it best to inform you separately knowing you have ... a closeness with Henry ..."

I saw the horror on her face and spoke quickly before she misunderstood.

"This is not about that. It is a matter of which I am aware, but this is far more important and affects us both."

I took another breath, fighting back the urge to break down in self-pity.

"There has been a terrible accident. There was a gas explosion at the offices of Henry's work. There er... were several deaths, and sadly, Henry was amongst them."

I saw the tears welling in her eyes at the news.

"I'm sure everyone will be devastated, but ... given your relationship ..."

I ran out of things to say as she broke down.

"You may take the rest of the day off, Rose."

"Thank you, ma'am."

The girl ran from me in shock. I felt for her. In one conversation she had learnt a man who had laid with her had died, and that her betrayal of me was known.

The afternoon was spent receiving friends who came to offer their condolences. A torturous affair for me when I was both in wish of being alone and torn by conflicting emotions.

Rose came to me again in the evening. Her face was reddened more than normal by constant crying. An outpouring of grief far greater than my own. I could only think that she had not reached the stage of discovering the less pleasant aspects of Henry's bedroom charm.

"Ma'am.

I ... came to say that ... oh ma'am, I am so sorry for everything.

It is a terrible thing that has happened and I wish it were not so. I also wish ... The master was very persuasive. I thought I had to do it. I didn't want to but ...

I'm packed but I have nowhere to go. Please ma'am, can I have a few days to ..."

She was babbling and I put a hand out to touch her forearm.

"Rose. I am now well aware my husband was not as I thought when I married him, and I attach no blame to you."

She looked surprised at my calmness.

"Are you not going to dismiss me?"

"No, Rose. I am not. What has happened, has happened. I am not pleased by many things Henry has done. This is but one. And ... much as you may be surprised, it is also the least of them.

But it is difficult for me to talk about such things. Especially in the circumstances. Please, I ask that we do not speak of this again for the time being."

"No ma'am. Thank you, ma'am."

"Now go and unpack. I will not see you on the streets."

A promise I was still unsure I could make for myself, let alone for Rose.

She was indeed a pretty thing. Not a classic beauty. But very cute. I could see why Henry had taken a shine to her.

Amelia came to me the next day having heard the news. While this was my opportunity to be rid of her once and for all, I found myself inviting her in to share our grief.

We embraced warmly. The first time we had held each other by our choice and not at the insistence of Henry.

"I do not know what to say." She said.

I saw her dilemma. It was as mine.

"Come and join me for afternoon tea. We can take it in the conservatory."

I led her to the back of the house where the sun's heat was magnified by the lean-too glass-house. We sat on wicker furniture and waited for tea to be brought to us. I took the opportunity to answer Amelia with honesty.

"I believe we can be truthful with one another. It is not difficult for me to admit that while Henry's accident is a terrible tragedy, it is not entirely without relief. It is fair to say our feelings are mixed?"

Amelia's pose softened.

"They are, I am ashamed to say."

"So there will be no pretence between us?"

No, Evelyn.

I am sorry he is dead. I am not sorry that a carriage will no longer fetch me to be his plaything each week."

We remained quiet as Rose brought our tea and poured for us.

"She has a sweet charm about her." Amelia said as soon as Rose had departed.

"Would I be right in ..."

"Yes. You would.

But do not talk of it to her. We agreed it would remain private and unspoken of."