Everybody needs good neigbours

How long do you have to live next door to someone before they are no longer the 'New' neighbours?

In our case it looks like at least two years, we'd known Chris and Nicola quite well when they'd lived next door but his business took off, something IT related and he got a big contract with Worldwide pictures in Hollywood and with that came a big farmhouse on loads of land out in the country.

We'd been over several times, first to their housewarming party and I often saw Nicola around town, for a coffee and a chat, but as I said they'd moved out over two years ago and as the new neighbours kept themselves pretty much to themselves we were only at the 'nodding on the driveway' stage of neighbourly relations.

Stuart, my husband, was less concerned about this than I was, he's not as naturally gregarious as me, being a civil engineer he's less of a social butterfly. I used to work in marketing at Goodson Knight Charnley, a Facilities Management company in Bristol, but they made half the workforce redundant last year and offshored it all to Manila. I now work three days a week in the Department of Agriculture in Bath. It's uninspiring, but steady.

He claims he'd prefer a night in with The Great British Bake Off or the Sewing Bee to a party but he likes a good boogie every now and then. He also has a once-a-week pint on a Friday with his mates Barry, Rick, and Jason. Chris used to be part of the Friday pub crew but since he'd moved was only an occasional member, they called him their 'visiting professor' because that's the level of humour they aspired to. That's us, I prefer 'conventional' to 'dull.'

I was in Waitrose one Thursday afternoon when I had one of those 'I know you' moments that left me feeling quite embarrassed at my stupidity when a late thirties woman, average height, attractive in an anonymous, suburban, kind of way smiled and greeted me with a friendly 'hello'. My confusion must have been evident because she followed up with "Charlotte, you know, Charlotte and Will. From next door?"

I went every shade of red from beetroot to vermillion. Of course, she was. I felt so stupid.

In my embarrassment I blustered, "Oh. Yes. Sorry. Miles away, and out of context. You're normally outside your house which gives me a clue. Sorry. Of course, you're outside your house now, technically, but Meadow View is a long way off."

I was making it worse. Why couldn't I shut up. In an effort to get back onto safe territory I remarked on her trolley. It was laden with three cases of Waitrose Prosecco, two of San Pellegrino and half the world's supply of cheese and breadsticks.

"Party? Or just a diet I need to learn more about?"

Thankfully, she laughed, "Yes. Party, tomorrow. Sort of a housewarming really, although it's been what two and a half years? Mind you covid took care of two of them I suppose."

I latched onto 'Housewarming' and made the natural (for me) and as it turned out, wrong, assumption that this meant the neighbourhood was all invited.

"Ooh, that will be lovely. I can't wait to see how you've changed Chris and Nicola's décor, what shall I bring? I do a rather good spicy salsa."

OK, it's a Jamie Oliver recipe but I've pepped it up a bit with Scotch Bonnet chillies and a lot more lime juice than he uses. If you really want the recipe, email me.

Charlotte was suddenly back pedalling at a rate of knots.

"Oh, well. When I say housewarming, I mean to say, um... We've got some friends from where we used to live coming over. It's kind of a catch up. We were going to have a separate party for our new neighbours in the spring."

I must have let my surprise and disappointment show because she hummed a bit then said "Look, I'll ask Will if he thinks it would be possible, maybe come round early, before we get too Humm, raucous." She said 'raucous' like it was a question.

I gave what I hoped was a worldly laugh and told her not to worry on that account. "We used to get pretty 'raucous' ourselves when Chris and Nic lived in your house. The lifestyle was quite wild in those days."

Looking back that may be where the misunderstanding began, because Charlotte's demeanour changed from nervous to acceptance almost immediately.

"Oh, well, that's alright then. Come round any time after eight. That's when the performers are arriving, ready for a nine start. We'll have plenty of fizz and nibbles."

I gave a squeak of excitement. "Oooh, we had a foursome round once when Chris and Nic were there. We joined in after they'd done their bit."

It was true, for Nicola's thirty fifth birthday Chris had hired a band to play at the party, once they'd done their set we'd been invited to sing along karaoke style.

And that will be where the misunderstanding really set in.

Looking much more confident Chalotte said she'd let Will know.

"Don't worry about bringing anything, we take it in turns to supply everything at these events. Maybe you can host one sometime? Right, see you tomorrow, dress appropriately." And off she went with a beaming smile, leaving me slightly perplexed. 'Dress appropriately? These events?' Of course, I would. I've been to house parties before. Never been pretentious enough to call them 'events' though.

I finished my shop and headed home.

That evening I mentioned to Stuart that we'd been invited to next door's party, he surprised me by asking if I was sure I wanted to go. He's normally the first to get his dancing trousers on so his reticence was out of the ordinary.

"It's just," he explained, "I've heard rumours about their parties. Remember when we went away last summer and someone had driven across the lawn?"

I shut him down right away. "Oh, come on Stu, a bit of squished grass is no reason to hold a grudge. We're going and that's it."

"No, Mel it's more than..."

I stopped him again, "Talk to the hand," Yes, it's always nineteen ninety-seven when I'm annoyed. "We. Are. Going."

He rolled his eyes, which is normally guaranteed to annoy me, "OK, we are going, but remember this moment, hand gestures and everything, on Friday evening when we come back home after the party. I won't say 'I told you so', but I'll be thinking it." And this occasion was no different.

Fortunately, I had a party to look forward to, and I got to snoop around our old friends' house to see what had changed, so I didn't stay annoyed for long.

Friday wasn't long to wait, and at six I went upstairs to start getting ready, I'd just finished a luxurious bath, doing a little trimming, waxing and nail painting along the way and was applying my makeup dressed only in my bathrobe when Stuart walked into the bedroom.

"I'd wear the Janet Reger set if I were you. You look really hot in it."

Now he doesn't normally specify my underwear for evenings out, being happy enough to help me out of whatever I'm wearing but it so happens he's right. I have a set of silk Janet Reger bra and French knickers with a matching suspender belt and I do look like a sex goddess in it, however I did wonder why he was putting in requests.

"Why? I mean, yes I do look good, in a pin-up, page three, teenaged fantasy sort of way, but it's not like anyone's going to see it."

He chuckled "You never know. Anyway, I like it."

"Well, you'll love this then," I reached into my wardrobe and pulled out my new party dress, it was low where it needed to be low and cut high where it needed to be cut high, black with deep blue shimmery panels on the sides.

I slipped it over my head and took a look in the mirror.

Ah.

A medium height woman with blonde highlights in her light brown hair looked back. Legs looked fine, shapely, and well proportioned, she was slim at the waist and had a tight backside. Her face was pretty with brown eyes and a turned-up nose. Where it was causing a tightening of the stomach was the hemline and the neckline.

It was shorter than I remembered in the changing room in town and I'd been wearing a camisole top under it then so it didn't look quite so daringly low cut.

I couldn't wear the Janet Reger set, the hemline on the dress was shorter than the legs on the French knickers, and the bra showed under the dress.

Stuart stepped out of the bathroom and joined me in the mirror. He had black Chinos, a black shirt, and black socks.

"Loving the outfit but the underwear shows a bit, you should probably change it."

He's so helpful sometimes.

I swapped the French knickers for some skimpy black lace boy shorts and the bra for some double-sided tape then slipped on my four-inch Louboutin heels. I got them years ago in a closing down sale and I rarely get a chance to wear them, being very tiny, and exquisitely uncomfortable.

It was five past eight when we shut the front door and I tiptoed across the paving slabs in the lawn to reach Charlotte and Stuart's house, there were already half a dozen cars in the drive and on the road outside. I rang the doorbell and went to greet Charlotte with a Hollywood style air kiss when she pulled me in tight for a hug and gave Stuart a theatrical snog.

She called into the house, "Will darling it's Melanie and Stuart from next door. Everyone, this is Melanie, Mel, and her husband Stuart from next door. We're so lucky to have them as neighbours. Come along, everyone's dying to get to meet you, what with you both being new."

We were bustled in; I had a large glass of what Will described as 'Caribbean punch' handed to me. It seemed to be mainly prosecco, fruit juice and Bacardi. And, as I found out later, Tequila and Coconut Rum in almost equal quantities. I had downed about half of it before I realised how strong it was, by which time it was too late and I downed the second half and went back for a refill.

A tall, slightly older guy, hair greying at the temples with a strong jaw and green eyes took my elbow and led me away from the bar area to a large sofa in the living room. He had an accent I couldn't place and it seemed a simple entry to a conversation so I asked where he was from.

"I'm Josef. I'm from Portugal, but I have lived in England for ten years now, I came over to make movies but now I run a photographic agency. Charlotte, she works there as my bookings and customer relations manager. Tell me what you do, you must be a model you are so beautiful. So, if I may say, sexy."

The industrial quantities of booze I'd already consumed blunted my senses to corny chat up lines, part of me latched onto 'to make movies' and promised myself to come back to that, but a bigger part had the opportunity to talk about myself and it piled in with both elegantly shod feet.

I explained how we'd lived next door for nearly ten years, how we'd had a lot of fun with Chris and Nicola, always in each other's houses and how we'd partied with them.

I remembered something Charlotte had said in Waitrose, "I'm really looking forward to the performers later, we once had a foursome perform just there, "I pointed across the living room, "Then we joined in after."

Josef had a hand on my leg, "I am glad you will enjoy this, the two tonight work in my photographic agency as well. They are very lovely. You will like Jacob I think very much." I quite liked the hand on my leg, I don't get flirted with very much and with all these people around it seemed harmless enough, besides which Stuart was across the way surrounded by women, including our hostess, who seemed to be hanging on his every word. We were both having a pleasant evening with new friends. I thought.

Josef had asked me something, "Hmm? Sorry?"

"I said, when the time comes I wonder if you will allow me to be the first?"

Oh, goody I thought, dancing.

I gave what I hoped was an alluring smile, "Well, I'll have to see what offers I get and who takes my fancy, but don't worry. I'm not going anywhere; I aim to be here to the end. I may do it with everyone before the night's out."

I held up my glass, "Can I get some more punch?"

Josef gazed into my eyes, "Yes, maybe you will. I will get you some more punch, but careful eh? It's quite strong. You wouldn't want to do anything you regret."

I laughed, maybe a bit too loud and asked, "What could I possibly regret amongst all these lovely people?"

Will, Charlotte's husband jumped into the space Josef had vacated, "That's what we like to hear. No regrets, everyone's friends."

I agreed, just in time to be handed my glass, filled for a third time with the heady brew.

Josef sat down on my left, so I was effectively hemmed in but as both men were good looking and were busy telling me how lovely I was I relished it. I didn't even mind that they were taking obvious delight in running their hands up my legs and surreptitiously pulling at the sides of my dress in an effort to release the double-sided tape. Both men were blatantly checking my boobs out.

A third man joined our group. Josef introduced him, "Paul, this is Melanie from next door, she is new to our group and very, very, beautiful. She hasn't yet decided who is first but she says she will how you say? 'Ave a go? With everyone."

I giggled and slapped his hand where it had grabbed my thigh as he said, 'Ave a go.'

"Easy Tiger. The night is still young."

A shadow appeared in front of my face, glancing up I saw my husband's smiling face.

"Gentlemen, can I borrow my wife for a moment please?" he asked, extending a hand to pull me out of the sofa. "Come on, I need you for a moment. These guys will keep your seat warm for you, won't you chaps?"

They both agreed readily so I allowed myself to be hoiked onto my feet and followed Stuart into a quiet corner.

"Are you ready to leave yet?" he asked with a smile.

"Leave? What are you talking about?"

He looked around before dropping his voice to a whisper, "Haven't you worked out what sort of a party this is yet?"

I was starting to get annoyed, "It's a nice party that I'm enjoying and we will miss if we leave now, what are you talking about, have I worked out what sort of party it is?"

He shrugged, "OK. I love you more than you can imagine, the moment you want to leave I'll be there to take you home. Remember that, and remember I love you, but also remember I've given you two cast iron opportunities to walk away before it gets going properly. I'll never tell you what to do or control your actions, you know that. I just don't want you getting into something you can't escape."

I kissed him, he always gets philosophical when he's had a few. "I love you too, but Josef and Will are just doing some harmless flirting, just like you and Charlotte were. You're the one that I want. Ooh" He finished with "ooh ooh" and kissed me then added "Stay strong Mel. See you in a bit."

The doorbell rang and we came close to colliding with Charlotte as she rushed to answer, muttering "They were supposed to be here half an hour ago. I'll bloody kill that boy."

Then as she opened the door changing attitude and tone to "Dominique, Jacob. We've been expecting you. Come on in, you can get ready upstairs and the garden room's ready when you are."

Dominique was around 5 feet five inches tall, with long dark hair, boobs a bit smaller than mine but they were nicely shaped and well proportioned. She was very pretty, seeming around twenty-eight or nine, with a gentle Welsh accent when she spoke.

Jacob was well over six feet tall, he seemed leanly muscular, blond hair, blue eyes, and a friendly smile. He spoke with a bit of a Bristol burr.

I rushed back to Will and Josef. "Dominique and Jacob have arrived, let's go and grab a good seat in the garden room. I bent over, knowing they were getting a view down my front as far as my Secret Rendezvous boy shorts and relishing the feeling of debauchery it gave me, only the last two pieces of double-sided tape were keeping my nipples in check.

As I walked through the kitchen to get to the garden room with a man on each side of me I noticed it had been completely refurbished since I was last there drinking Sauvignon Blanc and chopping salsa with Nicola three years ago. I remarked on the changes to Will.

"I love what you've done in here, I can't wait to see the rest of the place, you must show me upstairs later."

He just gave me a tighter squeeze and promised to show me the bedrooms later, adding "Josef, perhaps you would like to join us?"

I giggled at that, wondering why Will would need help from someone else to show me the bedrooms.

Most of the third glass had disappeared and I was certainly not feeling any pain. I drained it and held it aloft, "Can one of you nice gentlemen fill me up please?" I asked flirtatiously, hoping they'd get the double meaning.

Stuart was close by, with Charlotte on one arm and a very tall redhead in PVC or leather boots and skirt with a leatherette bikini top struggling to restrain her fake boobs. He grabbed my glass and handed me a half pint of water, "Here, you might want this rather than more rocket fuel."

I was quite thirsty as it happened and guzzled the water down, just in time for a new man to hand me more rocket fuel."

"Ooh, thanks, ermm..."

He kissed me on the cheek, "Paul. We met earlier."

"Thank you Paul. We did. Make sure I get a go with you later."

He said he would be sure of it.

I was going to dance the night away. I may have to lose the Louboutins though, they are not the most comfortable footwear, but they're so sexy. Sometimes they're all I wear in bed and I'm not sure it's not for my benefit as much as Stuart's.

The Garden Room is about forty feet long and fifteen wide. One wall is a full set of glass bi-fold doors, the other is a plain painted wall. In Chris and Nicola's time they'd kept garden furniture in there so they could move out onto the patio for barbecues, summer parties, and karaoke with a four-piece band.

Tonight, the bi-fold doors were closed with thick curtains keeping the warm air in. An upholstered, cushioned ottoman was standing on its own in the middle of the room against the curtains, spotlights in the ceiling picked it out, leaving the rest of the room in semi darkness.

Three or four snuggle seats were lined up along the front row with a matching four-seater sofa behind them. I jumped into a snuggle seat and noticed Stuart assume a position just behind me on the sofa, still with the redhead on one arm and someone new on the other... I turned, "Stu, this is Will, this is Josef and this is Paul." He nodded, "Yeah, I've met Will and Josef, Paul, it's, well, I hope you enjoy my wife's company." Paul looked suddenly uncomfortable, then smiled, "Yeah, I hope so too."

Stuart turned to the tall woman, "Mel, this is Grace, Grace, my wife Mel. Grace is here on her own tonight as her husband's in South Africa."

I reached out a hand, "Sounds lovely, we were going to go there on holiday, then Covid came along. Maybe we'll try again sometime."

The other woman was introduced as Emily, "I'm Paul's partner, so we're doing a bit of turn and turn about," she giggled.

Before I could answer a light tap on my bum, well more of a stroke really, got me to stop waffling and turn round to squeeze into the two-seater between Josef and Will It was tight already, but I managed to work my way in between them. Paul assumed a position on the floor in front of me. Playfully I flipped my legs over his shoulders so he could lean back between my thighs.

Josef and Will had gone back to their childish attempts to get the double-sided tape to give way. Joke's on them because it had come away when I turned back around and my dress was being held in place by the pressure of their bodies against mine. As I couldn't move, my boobs were staying well and truly under wraps.

At the front of the room Charlotte was standing up and facing us all.

"Well, hello, thank you all for coming, thanks to Barry and Hannah who've come all the way from Guildford and Mel and Stuart who've come all the way from next door." This brought a ripple of laughter, which she rode like a pro before going on, "A special welcome to Mel and Stu, it's their first time at one of our gatherings and I for one am looking forward to getting to know them both a lot better, I think Will and Josef, oh and Paul as well now I see, I think all three are looking forward to it."