Everyday I'm Shuffling Ch. 01

I was telling him about Addison and how much I loved the area. I went into the same spiel Patrick and Lamar gave Sammy and me when we first moved in. When his ankle repair patient went over to the treadmill, he asked how much I paid for rent. I explained to him how much Sammy and I paid and the different apartments we checked out before picking the townhome. The golf instructor I was rehabbing showed up for his appointment.

"Addison sounds nice. I'm still trying to get familiar with the Dallas area. Maybe if you have time you can show me around Addison?" Kendal suggested.

"Oh no. Barking up the wrong tree. She has a boyfriend." Robert, my patient, cut in.

I forced a smile but didn't correct him. "Good morning. Ready to stretch? Or are we going to gossip like women?" I played off the discomfort of the mention of Jake with a joke. Robert complained in the past about how the women at the country club where he worked loved to gossip. He complained before that he knew too many intimate details about members.

"Ready when you are." He laughed.

After I finished rehabbing with him, I went into the office to see if Sandra needed me before I left.

"We're all set." Sandra smiled at me. "I didn't get a chance to thank you for Saturday. I really appreciate you coming in and updating those charts for me."

"Not a problem. Did y'all enjoy the fair?" I asked.

"Y'all?" Sandra asked, wrinkling up her nose. "I thought you were from out west."

"I am. I've just been here long enough."

She nodded. "My kids loved it. My bank account suffered, but it was worth it. My older daughter has a fair day on Friday. She wants to go back with a group of friends. I don't know where she's getting the money from."

"Sounds like you can get some labor out of her around the house. That's how my dad did it when I wanted money." I smiled.

Sandra laughed. "Not a bad idea. The garage looks horrible."

After I said goodbye to her and Jordan, I left. I didn't want to go home and face the lilies sitting on my dining room table, so I decided to call Sammy, Rocky and Amber to see if anyone could do lunch. Sammy didn't answer, but Amber and Rocky both agreed. We made plans to meet up at Pei Wei.

I got a table for 3 and waited. Amber showed up first and we hugged before she sat down with me.

"So how's the family?" I asked her, as we browsed the menu.

"Hanging in there. I'm starting the count down. 3 more months till I'm done with school. I can't wait." Amber sighed.

"Yay!" I cheered, smiling at her. "You know if you need me to babysit or anything, let me know."

"I'm good. It's a lot, but we have a routine, especially now that Robbie is in head start. He's talking so much more. Being around other kids is really good for him."

"What's head start?" I asked.

"It's like an early development program for kids ages 3-5. Ethan told us about it, then I found out there was a center at my school. I assumed it was a daycare for parents going to school, but it caters to early childhood development and getting them ready for school. Right now he's only going 3 times a week, but it's been beneficial."

"I'm glad to hear it." I said, sincerely. It was nice to hear she was getting a break. My phone beeped. It was Rocky.

Rocky: On my way. Order the Kung Pao for me.

We got in line to order our food. I ordered Rocky's food and ordered lo mien and a mango Californian roll for myself. Amber ordered a spicy chicken salad and a spring roll. We were waiting for our food when Rocky showed up.

"Hey ladies. Sorry I'm late." She said, sliding into the booth next to me.

"We're still waiting on food, so you're ok." Amber smiled.

Rocky eyed me as I took a sip of my drink. "So you're out and about. Is this a testament to how the break-up is going?"

"Whatever. I've been crazy busy at work." I shrugged.

"But for real, how are you?" Rocky asked.

"I'm ok." I said, noncommittally.

"Are you going to go out to dinner with him?" Rocky asked, sipping the sweet tea I got for her.

"That was your idea?" I sighed, bothered. I thought she wanted us broken up. Why would she help him?

"No... he and Brandon were plotting where I could overhear. I fell into their trap. He said he was planning to come up to your job so you would have to talk to him." Rocky revealed.

My eyes widened in shock. I couldn't believe he thought about doing that. I would've flipped out, then lost my job, then flipped the fuck out again.

"I told him never, ever do that." Rocky added quickly after seeing my face. "He said he would never, he just wanted my advice. I told him to give you space and that whatever he did, he needed to let you come to him when you're ready."

"That's all?" I asked, suspiciously. She knew food was my weakness. I wouldn't put it past her to exploit that.

"That's all. He came up with the rest. He was going to leave a gift card, but knew you would just use it for yourself."

Amber and I laughed. I really would, then post pictures of it, to be spiteful.

"So what happened?" Amber asked.

By the time I gave her the abbreviated version, our food was ready. Amber thought it over as we settled with our lunch.

"I agree with Rocky about talking to him, just cause I would wanna know. Aren't you at all curious about Cara?" Amber said.

My Facebook stalking said yes, but I wasn't going to cop to that, so I shrugged." A little."

Rocky stayed silent. Again.

"What the hell Rocky? Nothing to say?" I asked.

"You were the one that said you're tired of me telling you what to do." Rocky said.

"You can give your opinion without telling me what to do. It's not like I can't tell what you're thinking..."

"So you're reading minds now?" Rocky smirked while Amber smiled.

"I can tell that you think that I fucked up the relationship," I said.

Rocky sighed and put her fork down. "I said it before, you deserve better. Regardless of the reasoning behind it, Jake didn't treat you right. Neither did Ethan. The common factor is you." She pointed out.

I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"So yes, he was wrong, but you put up with it. I've told you about my mom's abusive ex-husband, so when I heard what Jake was doing and how you weren't talking to me, that's where my mind went. Maybe it wouldn't have escalated that far, but the fact that you put up with any of it is mind-boggling to me." Rocky said.

I nodded, thoughtfully.

"I understand it. You know I do. I've been in your shoes with Will." Amber started. "Will and I were so young and had kids too young. We weren't ready to be in a relationship, so we made mistakes. His happened to be cheating." She said. I looked up at her. How could she say it like it was no big deal? I was so angry about what Jake did, but at least it didn't involve another woman!

"I knew everyone felt like I should have left him, you included, but I had to try for our kids. When we decided to try again, I made a list of what I expected in our relationship and he has met every one of them. That's why we're still together." Amber continued. "Those expectations have nothing to do with him. They have to do with what you want and what you allow. You have to decide that and if he's not meeting it, cut him loose."

"I'm not saying to stay with him or dump him. I'm not even placing blame, because it would be on both of you. I'm just saying do whatever is best for you because you deserve that." Rocky added while Amber nodded.

After eating and saying goodbye, I headed to my apartment. I thought long and hard about what Amber and Rocky said. I wasn't sure about anything besides the fact that I wanted the whole truth. Maybe then I could understand what happened between us better. The only person who could provide that was Jake. I knew I couldn't handle being around him just yet, but I picked up my phone anyway and unblocked his number before calling him.

"Hello?" He answered immediately.

My heart raced at just the sound of his voice. "Hey Jake. I got your gift." I admitted.

"Ok... what do you think?" He asked.

"I think... it's too soon." I said, honestly.

"Ok. I understand." He said. I could hear the disappointment in his voice. It made me sorry, but I stuck by my decision.

"By the time you get done saving up, I should be ready." I added, quickly.

"Saving up?" He asked.

"You said anywhere, so I will be finding the most expensive restaurant."

Jake chuckled. "I would expect nothing less."

I smiled. "Ok Jake. I gotta go."

"Carin- um, Lily?"

"Yeah?" I said. I pushed away my disappointment of him refusing to call me Cariño.

"I can dip into my savings. I don't need to save for long, ok?" Jake replied, questioningly.

"Ok." I hung up the phone, feeling better than I have all week.