Everything that Glitters Ch. 04

The rest of the family was allowed to join them on the field for the ceremonies after the game, and they screamed along with everyone else in burnt orange when Sam warned, "We're baaack!"

Not surprisingly, given the short dress/boot combination Cassie and Carole sported, they got another cameo, and Cassie's world championships were mentioned after she was called Zane's wife by the TV crew. Zane put his arm around her and they waved to the crowd, as did Brad and Carole. She snuggled up to him and he let her stay that way long after the spotlight moved on.

***

Brad and Zane kicked off the year with wins in Denver, and then returned to Texas for Fort Worth, San Antonio, Houston, and Austin. They ended the Texas part of the tour with greater winnings than the year before, and headed out of state with decent leads in their events. As they had agreed, they swung by the ranches when they could, visited with their kids via Facetime when schedules meshed, and wrote emails or texts when they didn't.

Zane talked weekly with his parents and Sue, and several times a week with Cassie. They confined the conversations to business, the ranch, or their daughter, but they continued to grow closer as their business and personal lives meshed.

Even with all the Facetime, Zane was still lonely; and he badly missed his girls... his girl... his daughter.

They went hard until they took an eight-day break at the end of April, and another in the middle of June.

The kids were out of school by then, Carole was off until August, and Cassie had the cowboys Zane had hired doing things by her book. Baring a horse problem, loss of concentration, or some calamity, they were going back to Vegas, so they insisted Carole, Cassie, and the girls come with them to Pecos and points north for the myriad rodeos surrounding American Independence Day. They again went into Canada for the Calgary Stampede, and explored the natural beauty of Alberta for a few days before returning to the tour.

Cheyenne was next, and they had as much fun away from the rodeo as they did winning both events. Cassie wanted to go home after that, but Zane insisted she come with them to the Caldwell Night Rodeo. "You need to make new memories to overwrite the bad ones. Besides, it turned out well, Cassie; you got shuck of Albert and the EMS vultures, and your bank account is brimming with settlement money!"

She reluctantly came, and they had the mother of all singalongs outside their trailer on the first night. All the married couples were there, but the younger crowd showed up as well. The line at their autograph table after their events had been long and kept rebuilding, so it had started late. Zane played until after 1 am, joined at times by Billy on mouth harp and Terry on the banjo.

The kids were all asleep, and they were parked on the edge of the fairgrounds near Georgia Avenue, so they weren't that worried about the noise, even after mid-night. Lindsey, who was winning the world on Goldie, brought five young, single barrel racers, which drew six of the young guns, adding a youthful flavor to their hootenanny. He could barely abide Florida-Georgia line, but he did play a few of their songs and some of Luke Bryan's on request, before informing them it was time they learned some true WESTERN music.

The boys bitched and moaned, but the two that had been with them at Cheyenne assured them it would be fun. Before long they had learned the lyrics to Red River Valley, She'll be Coming Around the Mountain, The Yellow Rose of Texas, and The Eyes of Texas, which Zane slipped in to PO the Aggies and Land Thieves.

With Terry on banjo and Billy on buckets backing him, Zane tried some Red Dirt music, beginning with Stony Larue's Feet Don't Touch the Ground and First One to Know. Randy Rogers Band's Kiss Me in the Dark and In My Arms Instead followed, and they ended with She's Like Texas by the Josh Abbott Band. That was a break with tradition, but Zane was ready for a few changes in his life.

It was late when they turned reverent with two songs written in the 1870s: I Love to Tell the Story, and It is Well With My Soul. It is Well had become a favorite over the past year, and this was the best job yet of the men and women harmonizing.

Zane finished up with The Dance, and they all went back to their trailers.

Cassie had taken Casey inside earlier and had not returned. He found them cuddled together, sleeping on his bed; he watched for a while, took a couple of pictures with his phone, and then lay down in Cassie's bunk. It smelled of her. He stared at the bunk above, now Casey's with Mom along, and considered his situation. Tomorrow he would send Casey to the Simpsons to play, and tell her.

The coffee maker was set to go off at seven, but Cassie turned it off, got Casey dressed, and they snuck out the door, leaving Zane sleeping. He awoke at eight to the smell of coffee brewing and something else delicious. Casey called him sleepy head and warned him his Western Omelet and cinnamon roll from Sunrise Restaurant were getting cold.

He was up in the show in both events tonight -- that happens a lot when you're the reigning world champion -- so they had the day to wander around, or do whatever. He had forgotten about wanting to talk to Cassie, but as soon as he offered to let them pick what to do today, Cassie said their daughter was spending the day with the Simpson girls, but she had something she would like to do, if he would take her: she wanted to see the compound where she was held.

There was a big FOR SALE sign at the entrance, and the gate was open. They drove in, stopped, and viewed the rubble left by the conflagration that consumed the wooden buildings. Cassie wanted to walk around, so they got out and wandered among the ruins without speaking.

"How can a father do what my father did to me?" she asked, without looking at Zane. "Did you know I was here twice? The first time he brought me here to negotiate a TV deal, he said. I had one drink -- one, single drink! And I woke up the next morning in bed with the senior partner named Donovan!

"I hate Donovan and all he stands for, but my hatred for my biological father knows no bounds!"

She was standing stiffly, with her countenance frozen in anger and anguish. Zane rubbed the center of her back in a circular motion, and began. "You know, Donovan is in prison: he and his executive team pled guilty to four charges of sexual harassment in a plea bargain and received concurrent 48 month sentences. From what I've heard, they're learning the about 'unwanted sexual advances' from the other side.

"More importantly, your civil suit set off a chain of civil suits, and EMS is no longer in business. I'm sure there were other bad actors, because these guys were so bold and unafraid while they broke laws and spirits.

"As I told your mom, Albert the asshole is working in a hardware store in Boise. I paid him a visit a couple of weeks ago, about a week after I paid your 'nurse' James, a visit. James' pain tolerance is low, so he told me the truth about it all. I've been putting off telling you, because it isn't a nice story; but I've decided you need to know."

Cassie turned, searched his face, and told him to go on.

"Albert had already been talking to EMS and several other companies about marketing you if you went on the tour full time. All of them said you were gorgeous, personable, and photogenic, and that you could have a bright future as a model and spokesperson, but were lukewarm because you were married and had a child. The rodeo demographic has become less white, more than half female, and almost half of rodeo fans are under 40, which is the demographic sponsors want most.

"In other words, Cassie the young single would be the perfect model; Cassie the mom and wife not so much. James said Albert started you on alcohol, worked in a few designer drugs, and then tried to hook you on cocaine. He kept trying to set you up with important people who could advance your TV, film, and modeling careers. In fact, he admitted that he had visions of you making millions in films, and him controlling the money as your agent.

"His plan all along was to separate you from the rest of your family, and use you as a meal ticket. When you held out, he started using Ketamine, GHB, MDMA, and even a 'zombie' drug to break down your resistance and control your thinking and actions!"

She looked skeptical and began arguing that she was responsible for her own decisions; he stopped her. "Hell, in South America they have used scopolamine to get people to happily empty their bank accounts and give the money to the criminals! He gave that shit to you, his daughter! James says the first time was after you won the finals, to get you in bed with one of the rich assholes who hang around the tour! Albert admitted he used it several other times, but he said it was 'just to help you get better gigs'!

"The man is without conscience! He seduced you into leaving with the promise you could achieve your dreams and still spend time with your family. He lied to you about everything, including that I was having affairs the whole time we were married, and he was willing to make you an alcoholic, addict, and whore to get the only thing he cared about - money!"

Cassie remained immobile and stoic. Eyes lifted, staring over the burned buildings into the mountains behind, she asked, "And why did James and the asshole share all this with you? I assume you had to persuade them."

"I did."

"Did they suffer?"

"Yes, and in both cases, the suffering will last for years. The limps will for sure, assuming your old man gets out of his wheelchair at all."

"Good!"

***

The ride back was silent. As they neared Caldwell, Cassie quietly asked, "Why do you still do things for me, Zane? Why have you let me back into our daughter's life, and yours? I don't deserve your kindness, and certainly not your forgiveness!"

"I can't forgive you, Cassandra. Know why? Because you won't forgive yourself! As long as you remain a shell of the girl I've loved since sophomore year, of the young woman I married, I can't forgive you or forge a real relationship with you. You are only alive when you're with Casey, and I really like that person. When you're with me, though, you are usually moody, reserved, and fearful, like a kicked puppy.

"I've heard your story, I've heard your apology and accepted it, yet you keep the walls up as if you think I'm going to attack you. Why is that?"

"I don't deserve your kindness and forgiveness! My penance is far from fulfilled!"

"Hasn't Bob or any other man of God ever explained the term 'grace' to you? The idea that you have to 'earn' forgiveness is pretty old fashioned. God gives grace; no human can't earn it. Look up John Wesley's teachings on prevenient grace, justifying grace, and sanctifying grace. We'll talk about it after you do."

"Zane, you do know I'm seeing a counselor -- well, actually, a PhD psychologist - weekly, and have been since the year started, don't you? I haven't made a secret of it; Casey knows, my mother knows, and your parents know. She's the one I Facetime with each Wednesday when I disappear for an hour.

I'm also driving over to Fredericksburg once a month to attend a twelve-step program, and I have a sponsor. I haven't needed her -- in fact, I'm repulsed by the idea of getting drunk or stoned. But we talk weekly anyway, in case I'm missing something. She's highly educated, she's been sober for 22 years, and she's not afraid to let me know about what awaits people who fall off the wagon.

"While I strongly believe it was God who saved me, I am learning that I need human skills to overcome my shortcomings, and, as my counselor says, 'to learn to prosper'."

"I didn't know, but I'm glad to hear it. And I agree about learning to prosper."

***

The Caldwell Night Rodeo wasn't their strongest showing, but they only lost $500 of their lead to the second place team ropers, and Zane lost $430 in tiedown. Given their leads, that was almost a win.

As Roy Cooper always taught, when you draw a calf, you do the best you can with that calf. You can't be 6 seconds on a big, fast calf, so 10 seconds is a win. They drew tough stock in the second and third rounds but did the best they could. They drew better in the fourth and had better times, so they left the next morning feeling pretty good about themselves.

The big Mack was running down the highway toward home. Casey was using her iPad in the sleeper behind Cassie, who was lying back in her seat with her heels tucked against her bottom. Zane appreciated the short shorts and long legs, but admired her flexibility; if he did that for five minutes, he'd have cramps from knee to ass!

She had a serene look that had been missing for way too long. He couldn't decide if he should ask or leave well enough alone, but curiosity got the better of him. "You look pleased about something this morning, Cassie. Wanna share?"

She lolled her head to the side to look at him, and then shrugged. "I'm not sure. Some of the things my counselor has been telling me seem clearer after our talk."

She looked around at her daughter playing on the iPad and whispered, "Over my twenty-six year of life I've made a lot of mistakes. I'll even say, now, that going to the prom our sophomore year was a mistake. Marrying you and having Casey were not mistakes, but we were eighteen when we got married, and Casey came along when I was twenty.

"Dad had been whispering in my ear since high school that I was good enough to not only be a world champion, but also a rodeo queen with tons of sponsors making oodles of money. He made it sound so easy -- just let you, mom, and your parents take care of Casey while he took me on tour full time, and we could come home every small break to be with our families. We'd have all this extra money, and then you and Casey could come with us and we would enjoy the high life!

"I was young and dumb, and I believed him. My counselor says that was normal - he was my father; he wouldn't lie! Of course, as we've learned, he did lie, incessantly, from the beginning! But, you know what? I can't change that decision, or the bizarre things I did while I was gone that year and part of the next.

"I know there are consequences for my stupid decisions. The biggest it that I'll never have you again, as my lover and husband. It doesn't matter that I love you more today than when we got married. It doesn't matter that I'm all grown up now, and that my life experiences have taught me what's really important.

Even if you took me back and forgave me, you would never be able to make love to me again for thinking about what I've done. I've come to accept that, but my daughter and my mother have forgiven me. Oh, I'll be on probation with Mom forever, but I'll prove every day that I'm worthy of her love.

As to Casey, well, I'll be the best mom possible, and I'll share her anyway you will let me. We've been together for a year now, with you on tour most of the time, and I think I've proven to her and to you that I love her above everyone else in this world except one person, and that I will do anything for her."

Zane didn't comment, so Cassie returned her vision to the road ahead and unfolded her legs, putting her bare feet on the dash. Zane appreciated the new view even more, but he was troubled by her words and her attitude toward him. He gave them some thought while he drove.

***

The scenery in Utah wasn't much, but they enjoyed lunch with the Simpsons in Provo, and agreed to stop tonight in Durango, which was somewhere near half way. Cassie used her phone to book rooms at a hotel with a covered and heated pool. She then found a place to stable the horses and made reservations. Saul's Creek Stables had a parking area for trucks and trailers too, so Cassie reserved an 'eight passenger SUV' from a car rental service.

Zane's phone knew exactly how to get there, so they dropped Cassie off to pick up the SUV and drove to the stables. By the time Cassie got the paperwork done and brought the SUV, the trucks and trailers were parked and the horses were busily eating their supper.

The humans were soon busily eating their supper at a café near their motel; it had been twelve hours since they pulled out of Caldwell.

After returning to the motel, they donned swimsuits and went down to the dome-covered and heated pool area. The adults had been relaxing and talking about the beauty of the San Juan Mountains while the kids swam when Carole got a more serious look and spoke up.

"Teachers start in-service training next Monday, and the kids start the following week. Cassie and I have been talking; obviously, the kids and I won't be able to go with you any longer. I don't know if you intend to keep pushing these last six weeks, or, given the size of your leads, plan to coast for a while, but I know you're going to the Tour Finale in Puyallup; too much money is at stake there. So if you're taking both trucks and trailers to Washington, we want you to hire drivers, or, if Cassie is going, she can switch off with Zane and Brad will need a driver.

"So that's our two cents; what are your plans?"

Brad responded. "We've been talking too. We're tired, we need a break, and our horses do too. Joe and Ricky or Caleb and Junior might catch up if they can get really hot, and there is an outside chance Caleb might catch Zane, but with fresh horses and fresh minds, we will do better at the finale than if we keep pushing.

"We have a couple of drivers in mind, but we hadn't considered Cassie. Are you interested in going with us?"

Before she answered, Cassie looked at Zane. "Do you want me to go?"

"We've got a week or two, so we can talk about it when we're back home. I haven't even given the Finale a thought, much less who goes with us, but I had realized the kids' summer break was ending. I guess I just assumed you would stay with Casey."

"Then that's what I'll do," Cassie said with finality, although there was a touch of regret around her eyes and mouth.

"I suggested we take a few days to think about it; is it necessary to decide right now?" Zane asked with a frown.

Cassie quickly shook her head.

Casey, Stacy, and Sammi came rushing up, still dripping water, holding brochures from the display case by the door. Casey faced her parents; Stacy and Sammi faced theirs, and they began pleading their case. "Mommy, Daddy, can we stay here tomorrow and do some fun stuff? They have lots of things to do here! There is even a whole Indian town built in a mountain, and a smoking train that takes you through the mountains to a place with gunfights!"

"Please! Can we stay?" Stacy begged her parents after Casey's plea.

The four parents exchanged looks, then Carole said, "I could use a couple of days of pure relaxation before the school year begins; I'm with the girls! Let's stay and see the sights!"

After further consideration, they decided to take the steam train to Silverton. It left from the depot at 9 am and arrived at 12:30. You would have two and a half hours to eat and look around Silverton, before the three and a half hour trip back to Durango began at 2 pm. The girls were so excited they wanted to spend the night together, which Carole quickly promoted.

Realizing that left him sleeping alone in the room with Cassie, he watched her and Carole closely to see if there was some kind of scheme in play. He couldn't tell, and Brad looked as blithe as the women; maybe it was innocent. They had been sleeping in the same compartment in the trailer, and had slept in the same bed in New Orleans, so would this really be different? Yes, he realized, because no Casey. Still, they were adults who were co-parents; what could be the harm?

'Besides,' he asked himself, 'why should I be so worried about sleeping with a pretty woman? I've enjoyed more than a few in the years since my wife left. She's good looking, great body, why not take advantage of her if she wants?'