Experiment #459

When the monster got closer I saw that it was a humanoid figure about my height with an emaciated, dirty body. Long, matted hair covered its face, but it didn't seem to need to see where it was going . When it got in front of Dei it stopped.

Dei was petrified in fear. I had to save him, but I couldn't do anything. All I could do was watch.

Slowly, silently, the monster raised its hand and touched its thick mane.

Then it moved some of the hair to the side.

It had my face.

Dei screamed. I screamed, too, and—

I woke up in the hotel room.

I was panting, sweating.

That...that was just a nightmare.

Suddenly, all the pain I had been holding in came out at once.

What was I thinking? How could I be so selfish, taking Dei even though the whole process was tearing him apart? I really was just as evil as Nightingale!

I was sobbing, heaving, when I heard such a quiet little voice.

"Rachel. What's wrong?"

Dei was here? I looked up from my hands and saw him sitting on my bed, looking concerned.

He didn't run away! I almost grabbed him in a hug, but stopped myself. I couldn't. Not right now.

He spoke again.

"What happened?"

I wiped a few tears from my eyes.

"I...don't worry about it. I can handle it. It's okay."

He scooted a little bit closer.

"Why don't you want to tell us? You told us so much already, so why stop now? Why are you crying?"

I felt that magnetism awaken again. He wanted me to talk to him. I wanted to give him what he asked.

"I had a nightmare. It made me think that I'm doing the wrong thing here. You're not who you were, but I want you to be the Dei I knew so badly I kidnapped you and made you cry. What kind of friend does that?"

He looked down.

"Rachel, we're sorry."

"Why are you apologizing to me?!? You've done nothing wrong! You're the victim here!"

"But...you're sad now because we're not who you want us to be."

"And you think that's your fault? It's not something you have any control over!"

He took a deep breath in and out.

"We're still so confused. We don't know what's true anymore, but we don't want to see you this sad."

He got even closer.

"Mommy taught us ways to make women happy. If you want, use us. Our body is yours. We'll do whatever you want."

I wanted to cry again. I was falling apart at the seams over what I was doing to him and he was just offering up his body to me like he was my sex slave. I didn't want to be what Nightingale had been to him.

"Dei, please don't talk like that. Wait, sorry, experiment 459, I mean. It wouldn't be right. You don't want to offer yourself to me like that, you just think it's what I want. It isn't. I don't want to use you."

He cocked his head to the side a little.

"Why not? We want to help you be happy."

I sat up. He wasn't in a state where he could give consent. But maybe...

"If you're really okay with it, I'd like to hold you."

He blinked a few times.

"Hold us?"

"Yeah. That's how we used to sleep, remember? I...I miss it."

He gave me a look I couldn't really identify.

"Okay."

He crawled towards me and I reached out. His body was submissive, limp. He didn't resist at all as I pulled him close to me.

This wasn't like how it had been. Dei wasn't enjoying this like he used to.

But...it still felt good. It reminded me of better days, before things got so complicated. I laid us both down.

"Are you comfortable, 459?"

He nodded.

"We're good. Are you sure this is all you want us to do?"

I hugged him tighter.

"This is all I need. Just let me hold you."

I was finally getting a taste of what had been. It felt so perfect.

I fell asleep, with Dei in my arms once again.

*****

The next day was full of traveling, just like the last. The two of us didn't talk much. I gave Dei a book to read and he was absorbed in that for most of the ride.

That night I booked us another hotel, but Dei stopped me before we got in.

"Do you want to hold us like you did last night?"

I furrowed my brow.

"I mean...I guess, but I didn't think you'd want to do it again."

"We don't mind. It's fine if you're happy."

It was so aggravating how I couldn't read Dei like how I used to. I didn't know if he was just saying that or if he meant it.

"You need to tell me if it's what you want."

He seemed to mull it over for a few seconds. He probably wasn't used to that kind of question.

"We don't mind the idea. Actually...it felt kind of nice."

I smiled. "That's great to hear."

We got ready to sleep again and I decided that I really needed to let go of the past if I was going to move forward. Yes, he wasn't the Dei I remembered, but he was still a kind person who helped others without expecting anything in return. He didn't need to wear clothes or have a name or talk in singular. I just wanted him to be happy again.

I loved Dei. But right now I had to love Experiment #459, too.

I spooned him that night, and was grateful that he seemed a little more comfortable than he was before. Baby steps.

We slept.

*****

I woke up and had immediate déjà vu to the first night Dei ever spent with me. I had that same instinct, that same feeling that he was in danger.

He was still in my arms but he was shaking. He was having sleep paralysis again.

"You need to wake up," I urged. "What you're seeing isn't real."

He was still catatonic.

I shook him a bit.

"Wake up!"

No response.

I got really close to his ear.

"Come back to me!" I pleaded.

Finally, he seemed to snap out of it. He came to in the next ten seconds or so.

"Rachel? Wait...where's the monster?"

"The monster was never there. It's just a bad dream."

He sat up.

"No...that's not it."

He looked almost puzzled.

"The monster was right there," he pointed to the side of the bed.

"We still couldn't move, and there wasn't even our pod to keep it out, but we...we weren't afraid. Why weren't we scared?"

I didn't want to answer that question the way I wanted. I didn't want to push the old narrative.

His eyes widened suddenly.

"It was...it was because you were there."

Both of his hands went to his mouth. His eyes teared up all of a sudden.

"Dei—Experiment 459, what's wrong?"

"We...we've felt this way before."

I felt like my heart stopped beating for a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"This feeling, the way we weren't scared of the monster...we know them. They're familiar to us. What's going on?"

After a minute he gasped.

"We've done this before! You've protected us from that monster! We're starting to remember!"

My jaw dropped.

"Really?"

He nodded, smiling.

He was smiling again!

"We're remembering...a couch? Yeah, that couch we slept in that first night! That was the first time you saved us from the monster! We can see it!"

This was insane. This seemed too good to be true. Was I dreaming again?

"There's this man. He's big and strong and has red hair. He wants to hurt us, but you were there, too! You protected us!"

I began crying again, but this time I welcomed the tears. They were proof that this miracle was happening.

I thought that Nightingale had removed all the memories Dei had of me, but it seemed like they just blocked them off, sealed them behind a wall somewhere in his mind. But that wall wasn't impenetrable. There was a weakness, and me holding him during his sleep paralysis was the catalyst that made that wall start to crack.

The two of us talked until the dawn, more and more memories coming back to him. He was so excited, so happy.

We kept talking in the car, and he told me parts of our story. They were out of order, but piece by piece everything came back. A few hours in he started calling himself "I" again.

"My name is Dei, and I'm a human!" He said finally, jumping in his seat a little. He turned to me.

"Rachel! I love you!"

I smiled again. I had been grinning so much that day I was almost sore from it.

"I love you too, Dei."

"You saved me! Thank you so much!"

"I told you I was keeping my promise."

By the end of the day we made it to the town we were going to live in, over a thousand miles away from where we began.

We were starting over.

He gave me a big hug when we got out of the car.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"I already told you that it's not your fault. I'm just happy to have you back again."

I kissed his forehead.

"Alright, you and I have some work to do."

He nodded, grinning again.

"I can't wait."

*****

The two of us got settled in without much effort. I got an honest job, never wanting to work for the underground again. He stayed at our apartment, but talked to me about maybe getting some part-time work himself.

It was after a few weeks that he wanted to talk to me about something.

"Rachel, are you happy with what we are now, or do you want more? You're still attracted to me, right?"

That got my attention immediately.

"You don't beat around the bush, do you?"

He shrugged.

"Well, are you? Am I still pulling you in like I used to?"

I looked at his beautiful face, his small, delicate body.

"Yeah, you are."

He nodded.

"I want to make you happy in any way I can. I'm never going back to Nightingale, but...I want to put what they taught me to good use."

He took off his shirt.

"Rachel, may I?"

I looked at him. This wasn't like when he offered himself to me back at the hotel. Now he was in full control and knew what he was asking. He was doing this because he wanted to.

"If you're sure."

He stripped bare. I was completely used to seeing him nude, even aside from his initial aversion to wearing clothes he had taken to sleeping naked recently. But now there was something different about the way he carried himself. He seemed to sway his hips when he walked up to me and gave me a look he hadn't really given me before.

I grabbed his cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss. Any time we kissed on the lips before it was an affectionate peck, but now it was hard and passionate. He was moaning and sighing as he submitted to me. His body seemed to melt into mine.

"Rachel, please let me eat you out."

I had barely nodded by the time he pulled up the skirt I was wearing and was nuzzling my crotch with his nose. I felt myself get wet. Something about being clothed while Dei was completely nude was so hot.

He pulled down the thong I had on and started worshipping my pussy with his tongue.

I had gotten head before, but nothing could prepare me for this. He knew just where to lick, just what to do to drive me crazy. It was like I was flying.

I put my hands on his head and pet his hair.

"You're amazing, Dei. I love you so much."

He ate me out even faster. Then he found my g-spot and I saw stars. I moaned out loud and came harder than I ever had before. He kept licking me, but now much more gentle and slow. He pushed me through my orgasm and brought me back down from it expertly.

Finally he looked up at me.

"Am I a good pet?"

I blinked for a few seconds before realizing what he was asking.

"Is that what Nightingale told you to say?"

His face turned red.

"I mean...yeah, but it made me feel really good when they said I was."

I chuckled.

"You're more than a pet. You're a good boy. Let me hold you."

I hugged his naked body, stoking his smooth, hairless skin. He really was an otherworldly kind of beautiful. And he was mine, just like I was his.

"Have you ever had an orgasm before, Dei?"

He raised his eyebrows.

"Honestly...I never tried. It just wasn't really something I ever had in mind."

"Let me see what I can do."

I spent an hour trying to get him off, but unfortunately it just didn't seem possible. His little dick did get hard, and he did experience some pleasure, but he just wasn't built to have release like that.

"I'm so sorry, Dei. I want sex to be something you enjoy, too."

"What are you talking about, Rachel? I've never been so happy in my life."

I cocked an eyebrow.

"Really?"

"Absolutely. I'm making you so happy, and it feels good. I feel so warm inside. I feel like I could do this forever."

I petted his hair.

"That's wonderful, baby."

He grinned at the term of endearment, but then got a little nervous all of a sudden.

"What's the matter?"

He wouldn't look me in the eye.

"Can I, uh...may I do it again?"

I laughed.

"Come here."

He gave me a kiss before he began another round.

*****

Dei and I have been living together for three months now. I guess by most terms we're boyfriend and girlfriend, but something about our relationship made those words seem insufficient, at least on their own.

I love Dei more than I even knew I could love anyone, and I know the feeling is mutual. The two of us bring out the best in each other.

We've made a home here, both of us working part-time and contributing to our new family dynamic. Eventually I reached out to Tara and learned she was doing fine. She even got promoted in Nightingale.

"I'm working my way up," she told me. "Just wait. I'll be running the company one day."

I believed her. She and Dei have never even really met in person, but she had dedicated her life to creating a Nightingale where nobody else would be put through what he had.

I didn't really hear much from Isaak. According to Tara he had recently skipped town. Knowing him he probably gotten in trouble with the law again, but also knowing him he was probably still fine and getting ready to get in more trouble somewhere else. I wish him nothing but the best.

This morning I had one of the best experiences of my life. It was just like any other morning, waking up with Dei in my arms, but the moment he noticed I was awake he turned around and kissed my face a half a dozen times.

"Rachel, I love you so much!"

I chuckled, a little confused.

"I love you too, Dei, but why tell me right now?"

He was grinning ear to ear.

"I had sleep paralysis last night, but for the first time I was able to stand up for myself!"

My eyes widened.

"Really?"

He nodded.

"The monster was right there," he pointed to the corner on the bed. "But I wasn't afraid of it, because you were there. And I could even talk to it, at least in my head!"

He kissed me a few more times before continuing.

"I looked the monster right in the eye. I said 'I'm not afraid of you anymore. You're not real. You'll never be able to hurt me because I've got Rachel now. Go away!' And then it just slowly disappeared! It left!"

He hugged me so tightly.

"Dei, you did it! You faced your fear! I'm so proud of you."

He nuzzled my chest.

"I could never have done it without you, Rachel."

I kissed the top of his head and stroked his back. He spoke again a few minutes later.

"You want me to make breakfast?"

I nodded and he got out of bed, putting on some clothes and scampering to the kitchen.

I just sat on the bed for a few minutes, marveling at how much Dei had grown.

A little over a year ago Dei was more scared of his sleep paralysis demon than he was of anything, but he had overcome his fear and rose up against it. It was incredible, and amazing to think about how I helped him do it.

But as much as I helped him, he helped me grow, too. I'm a different person than I was back before I met Dei. Now I couldn't imagine my life without him.

In a way, his transformation was now complete. He had broken all the chains that once bound him, gotten past all his old demons.

I was happy for him.

Experiment #459 didn't exist anymore.

Dei was a human.

He was the one I loved.