All Comments on 'Experimentum Cruces'

Well written. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.

I liked it. But if someone has just said her name, she already *pronounces* it as Ashai - so she doesn't need to say "pronounced as" - she didn't spell it for him first and then give the pronunciation.

So this doesn't doesn't make sense:

"Do you really think I'm a nut-case Miss...?"

"Williams." I finished, clearing my throat. "Ms. Acai Williams; pronounced as "Ashai""

Instead, you could do it like this:

"Do you really think I'm a nut-case, Acai?"

"Ms. Williams," I said primly. "And it's pronounced 'Ashai', not 'Akai'."

Or something like that.

Anyway, as I said, I did like it. :)

It will take some writing to beat this one in the contest.

This story is VERY hot. Your intensity and desire, and the way you let it build up over time, was simply fantastic.

While the story is about an exhibitionist, and the pleasures of public sex, I'm concerned for your chances in the contest because it never mentions National Nude Day. Pretty sure I read in the rules that it has to be "more than a tangent to the story," and really be about National Nude Day?

Anyway, I hope that doesn't interfere, because you have a really passionate, hot, cock-tingling story here. Good luck!

Puff puff, thanks.