Exposure Therapy

Alex removed his hands from my torso and placed one on my shoulder while looking me in the eyes. He gave a reassuring nod and smiled softly.

"You did a really good job. Remember that you control your body; it doesn't control you."

"I can't do this," I repeated. "I can't go in there alone. I mean, I'm shaking so bad that I can't even take off the rest of my clothes."

"We can do this together. I'll help you with the jeans."

I felt another wave of nausea hit me. I wondered if Alex was going to strip me in front of all these people? I realized how stupid it sounded as soon as it came into my head. He could end up seeing more of me than I wanted, though. I could picture him helping me remove my tight jeans and looking down at the loose fabric in the front part of my boxer briefs. I was certain he would wonder why there wasn't more definition, like one would expect from a normal sized penis.

Alex wrapped the towel around my waist just above the top of my jeans. He sat down on the wood bench in front of me. He made sure that he kept his eyes focused on my face. He maneuvered his hands between the opening in the front of the towel. He unfastened the zipper; he then placed a hand on each side of my body near my hips. I could feel him pulling the denim into his clenching fists.

I felt a stirring in my groin. I had always thought Alex was attractive, but I had tried to stop viewing him in that light once we'd gotten deeper into therapy. Something about seeing him in this way was turning me on like never before, though. He was so caring, and he was still hot as fuck.

Alex slowly tugged at the fabric; it started to slide down my body. I kicked off my sandals and stepped out of the jeans. Alex folded them and set them on the bench.

"Done. I am going to let you do the underwear yourself since we have gotten past the buttons and zippers," Alex said with a small chuckle.

I blushed a bit. Alex was sitting there looking at my torso. I was expecting him to look away, like he had done earlier. I wondered if he was watching because he wanted to make sure I didn't freak out again. It was nice to think that he could care about me in that way.

I felt conflicted. I didn't want him to see me exposed, but I knew I needed his support. I asked myself how much I wanted him close by because I was aware that it would come at a cost. I would have to face my fear of having him see my shortcomings to avoid the worse outcome of having a panic attack in the shower in front of random strangers.

"Alex, I can't go in there alone!" I exclaimed. "I know I can't. You are going to think this is ridiculous, and I totally understand if you say no, but can you go in with me?"

Alex's shoulders tensed a bit; he stood up to better look me in the eyes. He stared intently, shaking his head from side to side.

"I really can't do that. I think it would be crossing a boundary. What we are doing now is already really unconventional. It feels like too much to see you naked."

"But you just told me that we shouldn't be ashamed of our bodies and that they are all normal. How can it be that being naked is okay until it isn't all of the sudden?"

Alex sighed. "I do believe that our bodies are just bodies. I am not afraid to see you naked. I'm also not embarrassed to have you see me naked. It's just, there are rules."

I looked down at the floor. I knew it had been a really big thing to ask of him. I wasn't sure what to do or say next. I knew that I wasn't going into the shower but I didn't want to disappoint Alex. Tears began to well up in my eyes again.

"Fuck it!" I heard Alex proclaim.

I looked up to see a wide smile speared across his face.

"I've never been the best at following the rules," he said.

Alex started to unbutton his dress shirt. He was moving his fingers deliberately down each button. I watched as his pecs started to come into view. They were bulky; I could now see the full tuft of sandy-blond hair sprouting between them. Next, I got to see his firm, dense six-pack for the first time. He pulled off the unbuttoned shirt and placed it on the bench.

I longingly gazed at Alex's massive biceps. I wondered how often he had to go to the gym to maintain his physique. His biceps were so large that it looked like he was flexing even when his arms were at rest.

Alex removed his belt. He undid the button to his dress pants. He hesitated as he started to pull the zipper. He looked up to see that I was watching him. I swiftly redirected my attention towards the locker.

"You don't have to look away, James," Alex stated. "Like we've both said, it's just a body. I'm not ashamed of mine, and you shouldn't be ashamed of yours."

Alex pulled down his zipper as I started to watch him again. The black fabric from his underwear came into view. Alex pushed the dress pants down over his bulky thighs; they fell to his ankles. He yanked off his shoes, ripping at the laces. He stepped out of the pants and pulled off his socks. He placed those items next to his dress shirt.

I looked at Alex with greater intensity. It was a little weird to see what he looked like under all the professional attire he had been wearing to our sessions. He was wearing snug black boxer briefs. I glanced at his crotch but tried not to look for too long. It looked like Alex must have a penis that was bigger than the average three or so inches soft based on his ample bulge.

"Okay; that wasn't weird, right?" he said, more than asked. "We are just two guys showering at gym."

I wasn't sure what to say, so I just nodded.

Alex flashed his dazzling smile, like he was trying to reassure himself. He had told me once that smiling can shift how you feel. He had said that that your brain starts to believe that you are happier or calmer if you smile because it follows your body's lead.

"Almost done," he said. He looked me directly in the eyes again. I thought I could sense that he was a bit nervous, behind his façade of this all being routine.

Alex pulled his black boxer briefs down over his impressive thighs. He pushed them to his ankles and stepped out of them.

I couldn't help but look at his penis. It was massive! I guessed that his dick was about seven inches flaccid; no wonder he wasn't ashamed of his body. His dick swung down between his thighs, resting against his left leg. Like his arms, it was vascular. There was a large vein running down the shaft. Not only was it long, but it was thick. It must have been five inches around. Almost as an afterthought, I noticed that it was circumcised.

Alex had a small, manscaped patch of blond pubic hair at the base of his dick. His scrotum hung loosely; his nuts looked a little smaller than golf balls but seemed well-portioned to his penis. There was a sparse coating of sandy-blond hair covering his nutsack.

He moved closer to me as he placed his clothes into the locker I had been using. His arm brushed across my chest; his cock pushed against the towel I was wearing. He stepped back and placed a hand on my shoulder, looking me in the eyes.

"Honestly, that wasn't too bad," he said.

I couldn't believe he was still standing there completely naked. I didn't think I would ever be that comfortable with my body, even if I stayed in therapy for years. But then again, unlike Alex, I didn't have the physique of a model.

Alex looked around. He was scanning the area near him, like he had misplaced something.

"I didn't get a towel for myself. I should go grab one," he said, walking away.

I made sure to watch, since I was curious to get a view of his backside. He had broad shoulders and a muscular back. His ass was just as stunning as his dick! He had a firm bubble butt. I appreciated that peach shape as he walked. It bounced a little each time his feet made contact with the concrete floor. To be honest, it was a little hypnotizing.

When he was near the other side of the room, I quickly pulled off my white boxer briefs from beneath my towel. I really didn't want to take them off while Alex watched. I was already feeling intimidated by his superhuman, well-muscled body. I piled all of my other clothes, along with my underwear, into the locker.

I looked back to see Alex a few steps away; he was still naked! He had placed the towel over his shoulder rather than wrapping it around his waist. He ran his hand through his hair to adjust a strand that had fallen out of place.

He placed his hand on my bicep as he arrived at the locker. He gave me a big smile; his dimples deepened. They looked so nonthreatening compared to the sharp edge of his jawline.

"I figured the whole point is not being embarrassed," he explained, "and the towel would just be for modesty, since I only really need it to dry off after the shower."

I nodded; it did make sense to some degree.

"Are you going to take off your underwear?" Alex asked.

"I already did it, while you were getting the towel."

"Are you feeling embarrassed?"

"Yes," I replied, as I looked into the open locker.

"Remember that shame only has the power over us that we give it. If you start taking actions that are opposite of what the shame wants you to do, it begins to lessen. I think that taking off your towel could be a good start."

I felt myself start to get overwhelmed again. My cheeks were becoming red. My heart started to beat a little faster. I imagined him looking at my penis. At three inches soft, it was less than half the size of Alex's dick. I wondered if, before he had time to suppress his immediate reaction, he might laugh. I didn't want to disappoint him though. I unwrapped the towel from my waist, repositioning it so it was bunched in front of my crotch.

"How does that feel?" he asked.

"Terrifying," I replied.

"What are you afraid of?"

I took another glance down at his massive cock. I focused on the large, blue vein, wondering what it would feel like in my warm fist.

"I'm, I'm nervous to have you see my dick," I mumbled. "It isn't as big as yours. You might laugh or something."

"When have I ever laughed at you? And we've already established how big your dick is; three inches soft and five inches hard. It's not like I'm going to be surprised to see it."

"Okay," I said.

I took a deep breath and tossed the towel on the bench. I closed my eyes, like I was trying to distance myself from what was happening. I heard a noise; it was the wooden bench creaking.

I opened my eyes to find that Alex had sat down in front of me; he was almost at eye level with my penis. He was staring directly at my crotch. I felt my heart skip a beat; I started to move my hands to cover myself. He pushed my hands aside.

"I'm not seeing anything to be ashamed of here," he said. "Actually, you have a nice dick. It is average in terms of length and girth, but it is well-proportioned, and I think it looks good. It's clear that you take care of this part of your body."

Two of his fingers glided across my trimmed pubic hair. Then he gently took my penis into his hand, examining it more closely. I felt my abs contract in response to his touch. I worried about everyone else in the locker room potentially seeing a god like Alex holding my small dick in his large hand. It didn't even span the distance of half of his palm. I frantically scanned the room. There were a few guys changing but none of them were watching us. I was thankful for that, at least.

"It feels really soft -- although I only have my own for comparison," he said, his tone becoming lighter. "It has a nice weight to it; not too heavy, but there's sufficient mass for what one needs to do with it."

He let my dick fall from his palm. I could already feel the blood wanting to race towards it; it was clearly excited by what had just happened. I willed myself to not get hard; that would be far too embarrassing. I knew he had only touched me to offer reassurance, so reacting sexually would be mortifying. I blushed; I was thinking how to best describe what I was feeling without being too direct.

"This is not what I expected to happen when I arrived at our session today," I joked.

Alex stood up. He placed both of his hands on my shoulders. His large pecs flexed in reaction to his movement.

"Same, James, same," he said with a laugh. "Why don't we hit the showers?"

I followed Alex closely as he walked towards the communal showers. He had his towel draped over one shoulder; mine was wrapped around my neck, with the ends hanging down over my chest.

I counted about four other men in the locker room while we walked towards the showers. Most of them were focused on either taking off or putting on their clothes. One man, who appeared to be in his mid-forties, looked up at us for a few seconds. I wondered if he was comparing my body with Alex's massive frame. I assumed that he must think I'm entirely underwhelming in comparison.

We reached the edge of the shower. I watched as Alex stepped between the two shower heads closest to the entrance.

"Are these two alright?" he asked, with his back facing me.

I stared at his ass more intently; a fine blond down covered his pale skin. There was an indent where his thighs transitioned to his ass; it created a pronounced curvature between the two areas. I could see a dimple deepen in the side of this ass cheek closest to me as he shifted his weight onto that leg.

"Sure, this is fine."

Alex hung his towel on a hook between the shower heads. He started fiddling with the knobs for the shower on the right, adjusting the temperature. The water splashed on the edge of his shoulder. I watched a small line of droplets pass between his shoulder blades. They crawled down the edge of his spine before disappearing into the crevice at the top of his defined ass.

He turned to the left; he grabbed hold of the knobs below that shower head. The water hit him directly on his torso. He quickly jumped back.

"That was freezing,", he said with a laugh.

He took my hand and placed it on his chest, where the water had fallen. It didn't seem colder, in my opinion, but I could feel the steady beating of his heart.

Alex let go of my hand; he returned to adjusting the knobs. My palm lingered for a moment before I placed it at my side. I had to force myself not to cover myself with it. It felt like a small voice was shouting that I should protect myself from being seen and I was having to ignore it.

The water was streaming down his chest again. His abs appeared to tense against the increased pressure of the jets hitting them. His cock glistened as water washed over it; droplets fell from his swaying testicles down onto the floor.

"I think the temperature is much better now." He stepped between the showers again, removing himself from the spray of shower head.

"Come on in," he said, gesturing to the shower head on the left.

I scanned the shower room. I had been so focused on Alex that I hadn't really looked to see who else was in there with us. There were four shower heads on each of the three walls. There were two men showering behind us with a space separating them; they were talking to one another. They were both about my age, and they seemed reasonably fit. The water from their shower heads cascaded down their backs and over the asses. There was a man in his early thirties on the other wall - a grad student, perhaps? He was a little overweight, but not significantly.

I hoped that they were almost done with their showers, especially the two younger men. I had always found guys my own age to be much crueler when presented with something to mock. I could imagine them turning to see me and Alex side by side. I pictured them pointing at his large cock before pointing at my tiny penis, then bursting into laughter. I got a little dizzy; I was thinking about how ashamed I would be having Alex witness such a scene. I imagined him telling them to stop, while stating that my flaccid three inches are normal. I didn't think I could endure the ignominy of him having to deny my shortcomings.

Alex moved below the shower head on the right. He let the water wet his hair; the sandy blond turned to a slightly darker hue as it slicked down. He raised his head towards the falling water while closing his eyes. He looked like a Greek statue, the water making even his smaller muscles appear more defined.

"Come on," he said, turning to face me. He gave an encouraging smile. "The water feels great."

The potential grad student quickly glanced over at us. I figured he was probably wondering why I needed to be encouraged to take a shower. I was glad that Alex had been blocking his view of my body with his larger frame.

I tentatively took my towel from across my neck, placing it on the hook. I stepped into the water. I felt of jolt of energy as the warm water rushed down my torso. Alex was looking at me as I adjusted to the sensation.

"Are you okay?" he asked, as if he sensed that I was becoming more anxious.

Alex extended his hand to the plastic dispenser on the wall; he cupped it, pressing with his palm. A white combination shower gel/shampoo gel squirted onto his fingers.

"Here," he said, reaching towards me.

I made my hand into a curved shape; he tried to shake the liquid into it. Most the white fluid landed on my palm but a few stray drops hit me on my ribs.

"Sorry about that," he said.

He reached over and started to brush the liquid away from my flank. I felt myself take a deep breath in response to his touch. He switched to rubbing the gel into my skin, rather than trying to flick it away. I had yet to exhale.

"You need to breathe," he reminded me.

He stepped over into my shower area; his body was so close to mine. I could see water splashing from my chest onto his torso. I glanced down to find that our dicks were mere inches apart. I couldn't help but feel embarrassment. It was shameful seeing them right next to one another. Alex's penis was over twice as long as mine, and it was substantially thicker too.

Alex pulled me by the shoulder, turning me sideways. The water was now flowing down my left side. He placed one hand on my pecs and the other hand on my abs. The one on my abs felt silkier; it had been holding the shower gel.

"Breathe," he said.

I tried to focus on deeply inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth. I was struggling to find the rhythm; my head was flooded with a million thoughts: did Alex think I was a failure? Were the other people in the room watching us? Did they think I was deficient?

"Put your hands on my chest and diaphragm," Alex instructed.

I followed his orders without thinking. I placed my right hand over his large pec muscle; I planted my other hand on top of his abs. I could feel the definition of his six-pack as I pressed against him. I noticed that he was pulling his breath down so the hand on his abs was moving, while the other laid still.

I focused on doing the same. I directed the air deep down into my belly. Alex's hand accidentally tickled the coarse hair near the top of my treasure trail. I couldn't believe he was doing this for me. I figured he must care about me more than I'd realized. I asked myself if any other straight guy would put himself in this position just to help someone else, especially a gay man.

I felt my dick reacting to those thoughts. It began to feel warmer as it started to expand. My nerve endings were tingling in response to splashes of water hitting my cock head. I couldn't stop myself from looking down. My dick grew to half-mast; it was now about four inches. It lifted away from my thigh a little bit, creating a soft downward arch. I was hoping Alex couldn't see what was happening. I was sure that he would think I was a pervert to be getting hard in the midst of almost having a panic attack.

My thoughts began to spiral again: how could I have been so dumb to allow myself to get in this situation? Would Alex reject me once he realized I was getting turned on watching him? How could anyone like him want to be around someone like me?