Exxxotica Expo. 2017

Although you may not envy a cuckold man, you may wish that you were as courageous. And cuckolds are courageous. Cuckolds seem weak because they seem to be taken advantage of by their female counterparts. On the contrary, it takes a strong man to thrive in a relationship that explores liberated female sexuality.

Being in a relationship that explores cuckoldry requires intimate knowledge of self, focus on their partner, and transparency in all things. It requires trust, loyalty, and a deeper understanding of their own, and their partner's, needs, wants, and desires.

A man who is aroused by his wife's sexual prowess understands the difference between love and control, faithfulness and fear, sex and intimacy. He knows that one who can openly admit to his deepest fantasies is no weak man.

A cuckold's identity is not based on his sexual place, but on something more meaningful—his connection with his partner. Likewise, a woman who is courageous enough to explore her sexual freedom endeavors to better herself continuously. She provides her partner with everything he needs and keeps him excited in the bedroom.

Knowing this, how are cuckolds weak? And how wrong are cuckold type relationships?"

The man who had asked the question that prompted this said, "I'm not saying that men who are into this are weak. I just don't respect them."

I asked, "What does it take for you to respect another man?"

"Success."

I then asked, "How do you define success?"

You could have heard crickets.

I explained, "I've had sex with hundreds of men, and yet, thirty years later, I'm still with the man I married. Thirty years. Think about it. There has to be a reason that I stayed with him. Right?

Have I stayed with him because he's rich? No. Have I stayed with him because he provides me with something no other man can? No. I've stayed with him because he makes me feel a way that no other man has.

I've stayed with my husband for over thirty years because he trusts me, and I trust him. He loves me, and I love him. We have two homes, four cars, and a class A motor home. We take vacations at least four times a year. I consider that a success.

We love each other, and we allow each other the freedom to be who we are. And I have to wonder if anyone would say that is not a success story."

Another woman spoke up, saying, "I don't think it's the cuckold men who are looked down upon as much as the women who cuckold their men are. Men have always had a problem with women who have sex with more men than society says they should.

I also think that men are afraid of what a woman might think of them if they've been with a better man. Men have a lot of insecurities when it comes to sex, be it penis size or a lack of partners. I agree this has to stop."

I asked this woman if she had ever been in a non-monogamous relationship.

"My last boyfriend and I had an open relationship, and it worked for a long time. Then I had sex with a black guy, and my boyfriend got jealous. He felt inadequate. And that ruined everything. Needless to say, we're not together anymore."

The man I had recently addressed asked, "So, what's the deal with cuckolding and black men?"

The last woman who had spoken up stated, "It's about getting what you can't get at home. It's taboo. And, for white men, black is something they can never be. And that's where the thrill comes in."

A young woman in the back of the room stood up and asked the man I had been addressing, "If I walked up to you and asked you to have sex with me, would you?"

This young woman was wearing practically nothing. She was thin, cute, and definitely what many men would call a catch.

The man she was addressing answered, "You're cute and all, but no. I wouldn't."

When the young woman asked him why, he responded, "I don't know where you've been, or who you've been with."

The young woman snickered, "But I have a feeling that you'd like to fuck some of the porn-stars you've seen today."

I didn't want to let things get too out of hand. So, I told everyone, "My talk today was to inform all of you about cuckolding. What it involves, who cuckold men are, and to help you understand different lifestyles. A debate is fine, but, especially here at the Exxxotica Expo, you're going to see and possibly meet people who don't live or think as you do. And that should be okay."

By this time, the person who was to give the next seminar entered the room and told me it was time.

I thanked everyone for their time and for coming to my seminar.

***

After the seminar, Ray (my husband), Frank (my boyfriend), and I walked through the exhibitor's floor. There was everything from dildos to whips to how-to books. And sexy people were everywhere.

The man I had debated in the seminar approached us. He looked as though he'd seen a ghost or something. I asked him what was wrong. He told me he'd been cheated on, and needed to talk if I had the time.

This man introduced himself as Kyle. And we all introduced ourselves.

Kyle told me a girl he dated had cheated on him with his best friend. He said that messed him up something fierce. He felt conflicted, hurt, betrayed, lonely, and afraid of the feelings he had felt and was still feeling.

Kyle told me that after his girlfriend slept with his best friend that she wanted to get back with him, but he called her a slut and told her she wasn't worth his time. Yet, he was still in love with her.

Kyle told me that his girlfriend told him that it wasn't planned and just happened. She even told him that, even though his friend had a bigger penis, he wasn't as good a lover as he was.

Kyle admitted that it wasn't his girlfriend cheating on him that bothered him the most. It was the fact that his best friend's bigger penis had been inside of her. He said he wasn't sure, even though she said he was a better lover, that she was telling the truth.

I assured Kyle that just because a man has a bigger penis, it doesn't mean he's a good lover.

Kyle told me that it wasn't just that his best friend's bigger penis had been in his girlfriend that bothered him. He also wanted to know what it felt like for his girlfriend to experience a man with a bigger penis.

I told Kyle that the quality of the sex is what matters, not penis size. Yet, I did admit that I do prefer men who are more endowed.

Kyle told me that he wanted to get back with his girlfriend more than anything, but he couldn't, because he would always want to know what it was like for her. And he knew he could never ask.

I told Kyle that my husband was bi. And that was why he wanted me to be with other men, especially men who are well endowed. I explained that my husband had experienced sex with several other men and that he'd been on the receiving side.

My husband, Ray, told Kyle, "I know what it's like to have a big cock inside of me. And I know I like how that feels. And to want to know that isn't uncommon.

Ray explained, "Most every guy wonders what it feels like for a woman when she has an orgasm. As men, we'll never know. Yet, we can find out what it feels like to have intercourse with a man."

Ray told Kyle that he wasn't saying that he should have sex with another man. He told Kyle, "If you want to know, you have to ask."

Kyle told us that he was afraid of what his girlfriend might think of him if he were to ask her.

I told Kyle, "The strength of a man is measured not by what he knows, but by his ability to obtain knowledge to improve himself."

Kyle told us that after he found out his girlfriend had slept with his best friend, it was all he could think about. He wondered how long his friend lasted, how much bigger he was, what his girlfriend's pussy looked like with his best friend's cock in it, and how much he came.

Kyle admitted the worst part was that he wished they'd taken pictures, so he could see everything he wondered.

I asked Kyle how many men he thought there were at the Exxxotica Expo that liked watching porn. He smiled and nodded.

Frank, my boyfriend, asked Kyle why he thought that Hustler magazine was so popular, long before there was an Internet.

Before Kyle could answer, Frank told him that even he likes to get close and see the action, when he's not in on the action.

Kyle shook his head, "No! I shouldn't want to see my best friend's cock in the woman I love! It's wrong!"

Ray told Kyle, "Appreciating true beauty is never wrong."

"How can I truly love her, if I want to see another man's cock deep inside of her?"

Kyle's eyes began to tear.

Kyle told us, "Ever since I found out, I've wanted her to do it again, but, I want to watch this time. That's not even right." Kyle took in and let out a deep breath, "Who the hell am I?"

We'd become a spectacle.

I looked around. People were staring at us. Luckily, I noticed a friend standing two exhibits away. I called out to her, and she came to me.

Lillith is a professional dominatrix. She noticed we were experiencing a crisis. I explained Kyle's predicament.

Lillith looked at Kyle and told him that there were men out there that were into a lot of shit, sometimes literally.

Lillith explained to Kyle, "I have men coming to me wanting me to put their cocks in a vice. Other men like me to kick them in the balls, repeatedly. Some men want me to treat them like dogs, like actual dogs. And some men pay me to shit in their mouth."

Lillith told Kyle, "Your biggest problem is that you're normal. You're a guy. And that's something that you're going to have to come to terms with."

Kyle looked at Lillith, "Guys are sick, though. Aren't we?"

Lillith smiled, "When I'm not being Dom, I like to be tied up or forced to have sex. I like guys to gag me with their cocks. I like having a violet wand used on my pussy." Lillith then asked Kyle, "Do you consider that sick?"

Before Kyle could answer, Candy walked up.

Lillith kissed Candy. And then she told Kyle, "When Candy and I got married, she was a man."

Kyle shook his head, then he looked at Candy and Lillith. Then Kyle looked at me, and Ray, and Frank and said, "You guys are the sickest motherfuckers I've ever met."

A woman none of us knew was walking by and heard what Kyle had just said. She interjected, "Sounds like a compliment to me."

Lillith told Kyle that he would be hard-pressed to find anyone at the expo that didn't like watching other people have sex.

Ray asked Kyle if he watched porn. Kyle admitted that he did.

Ray told Kyle that a lot of people watch porn and that a lot of people come to expos like the one we were at in hopes of meeting their favorite porn star. Then Ray told Kyle, "Amber is my favorite porn star."

Out of the blue, Lillith shouted out, "How many people here like to watch people fuck?"

We all looked around, and almost everyone in earshot raised their hand or shouted out some type of approval.

Lillith reassured Kyle that there was nothing wrong with wanting to watch his girlfriend have sex. She explained, "No one can explain why we like to watch other people have sex, but we do. It's part of who we are as humans. You can't get down on yourself for being human."

Kyle said that he could accept his humanness but, it was that he could be a cuckold that bothered him the most.

Ray stepped in, "What people don't realize is cuckold men aren't a one size fits all type of men. Cuckolds are as varied as anyone else. Some might say that a cuckold is a masochist. Other people might call a cuckold weak or inadequate. Then, some understand that cuckold men are bold, adventurous, trusted and trusting, and can communicate on a much higher level than other people."

Lillith asked Kyle if he ever thought of asking his girlfriend what her thoughts were on him watching her have sex with other men. Kyle admitted that he hadn't.

Lillith told Kyle, "If you want to feel ashamed of something, feel ashamed that you failed to give her a chance to answer you or give you her thoughts on you watching her with other men."

Lillith growled, then said, "People can be so fucked up sometimes. You judge other people for what they do or don't do. Then, you turn a blind eye to whatever it is you do or don't do." Lillith added, "And you call us sick."

I asked Kyle why he came to the expo in the first place. He said he didn't know.

I then asked Kyle if seeing two women having sex turned him on. He nodded. I then asked him, "If you're watching two women, the chances of you getting to join in are slim. If you were to watch your girlfriend with another man, what do you think your chances of getting to join in would be?"

Kyle shrugged his shoulders.

I told Kyle that he would know if he communicated better and more often with his girlfriend.

Kyle told me that he was sure that he messed that up to good and that he and his girlfriend probably were through.

I reminded Kyle that he had told her that she was a slut and not worth his time. He admitted that was a pretty fucked up thing to do. And I agreed.

Candy said to Kyle, "I know you don't know me, but my advice is to call her and have her meet you here. This expo is probably the best place to talk about anything and everything."

Kyle took Candy's advice and called his girlfriend. To his surprise, when his girlfriend answered her phone, he recognized the sounds in the background. Kyle asked his girlfriend where she was. She told him she was at the expo, the Exxxotica Expo.

Kyle asked his girlfriend if she was alone. She told him that she was with a new guy.

Kyle's now ex-girlfriend told him that she met this guy, and he was so up-front about who he was and what he wanted and needed. And that was what attracted her to him.

Kyle asked his now ex-girlfriend, "What about you and me?"

She told him that she was hoping they could still be friends. Then, she told him, "That is if you don't mind that I'm a slut, and you can find a way to see me as being worth your time." She then added, "Maybe we can be friends with benefits."

Kyle had let me listen in on his conversation. He looked at me, and I smiled.

Kyle said to his now ex-girlfriend, "But, you're with a new guy now."

She responded, "I am, and he opened my eyes to a whole new world. He knows about you and me. He knows why we broke up.

And he knows I still love you, even when you act like a complete ass."

Kyle told his now ex-girlfriend that he'd like to meet this guy.

When Kyle left us to meet his ex-girlfriend's new guy, we knew that he left a different man, a better man. And it was nice to know we had something to do with that.