Fake It to Make it Pt. 03

It was inexplicable. Why do any of this for a man whose own sister didn't give him the time of day anymore because of his bad behavior and personality? Why care? Why try? But I had to. And it wasn't because I had some sickness about me that had to fix people. I genuinely wanted him to be happy.

When I felt like I'd scrubbed myself clean enough times, I turned the water off and dried off. I walked back into my bedroom to the sound of deep rumbling snores. It was still early, only a little after seven, but all the emotion made me sleepy. Beck lay on his back with his mouth open, head on my pillow. I noticed the condom and its wrapper lay on the nightstand. At least he'd taken it off before he passed out. I tossed it in the trash and climbed into bed.

He might not remember any of that in the morning, but I would. He might not even care. But I would. And when I covered him with the blanket and curled up around him, his arm enveloped me and more tears came. But these ones were for the fact that I didn't think he'd ever truly want me like that. Or maybe he would, and I just had to wait a bit longer. Either way, the only way to make it happen was to continue putting my heart on the line and walking it.

Even if he never came around, he deserved someone to do that for him. We all did.

Chapter 6

I stared in disbelief at the computer screen, reading and rereading the email Drew sent me. He refused my calls and got angry when I'd tried to show up and talk to him, but I had expressed my concerns about a client situation and he responded. That was a good thing in my opinion, and while I didn't think for a second that it had anything to do with Nev and this plot to make Cici pay attention to me and a fake relationship with her best friend, it was a the very least a start.

Drew's financial advice for my client was sound, though. I'd though of it myself but I wasn't positive it would work. He even gave me a quick snapshot of the numbers on one of his accounts when he attempted to employ his own advice and that was what sold me. I wanted to call him and thank him for the help and advice, but I didn't. He'd been the closest thing I'd had to a mentor when I started out, and by now maybe I should have been on my own but I still needed advice from time to time.

Instead of calling, I shot off a text of thanks and gratitude and set my phone aside to focus on crunching the numbers. Drew had people to do this for him now, dozens of them. He employed more than fifty analysts and traders, secretaries, assistants, techs, and even a security and janitorial staff, each with more than ten people. One day I hoped to be to the point where I could compete with that, but for now I was still building.

I dived into the work and the more I got into it the more at peace I felt about taking his tips. There was a reason his name was plastered all over the city. If I continued leaning on him, I'd learn everything in the business and be able to really expand my reach. But the niggling feeling of having to do it alone made that sound bittersweet. I never thought Cici and I would go into business together, but I did hope we'd at least be on speaking terms, closer than that even.

When Mom and Dad died in that accident I became her only anchor in this world. Yes, Drew and I had picked on her so much she came to hate us partly, but we also were there to do things like change a flat when she needed it, or drive her to and from places. When she got her period the first time I was the one to take her to the drug store for feminine hygiene products. We were inseparable until I made some really stupid choices and hurt her.

I didn't want to build this empire and be alone. Drew had done it, but even then when he got to where he was making money, he himself said he was lonely. We both spent so much time on our careers and building our companies that we had no time for women. Though, Drew was a womanizer--play the field and leave them with broken hearts. Which was why I hated that he set his eyes on Cici.

Women just didn't like me. I had at most three dates with a woman before she decided I was "too much" or "worked a lot." Some of them never gave me a reason for why I couldn't score a second date, but for the most part it was no skin off my back. Now, without my sister to talk to, I felt alone a lot of the time. Maybe that was why I felt the overwhelming urge to fix things. I hated the feeling of being alone. I needed people in my life.

My phone buzzed and I looked down at it. Cici's picture and number appeared on my caller ID screen. It was a selfie from our trip to the Catskills when she had just graduated high school. We were sending her off to college so Drew, Nev, Cici and I all went hiking. It was one of her first loves, and I ruined that trip by catching a snake and putting it in her lunch pail when she wasn't looking.

But she was calling me, and that was a step. I swiped to answer and lifted the phone to my ear. "Cease.... How you doing?" I stared at the far wall, watching the floor out my office window where my tiny staff of ten busily worked and chatted. The sun was shining in behind them warming the entire main office while my office was on the shady side of the building this time of day, leaving me to my jackets and sweaters for the most part.

"I can't believe you," she hissed, and instantly I got the point that she was upset about something. I opened my mouth to respond but not before she continued. "Why the hell are you going after Nev? What's your plan? Why are you doing this?"

So Nev's plan was working, getting Cici's attention after all. But I didn't think it was working exactly the way Nev intended for it to. I thought about our night together at her place last week and how she hadn't brought it up at all. I was pretty drunk. All I remembered was that we had sex, not how it started or even the act itself. I just woke up in her bed and she was in the shower. Nev acted a bit shy around me and I asked what happened. She shrugged it off as no big deal, but I could see in her expression that it was a big deal. I never brought it up again because I didn't know how to, or what to say.

With my track record with women and the fact that Nev was only doing this to help me, I didn't want to press my luck. I was fortunate that she even cared enough to help me, and that was probably only because Cici was her best friend and she wanted to make her happy.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," I said calmly, but Cici was anything but calm. The powder blue walls of my office would be painted red with my blood if she had a say. I could tell she was furious.

"Stop jerking her around, Beck. You're not even doing this because you like her. She's going to get her heart broken just so you can get back at me. I see right through your plan." I heard a horn honking and realized she was driving while in traffic. Clearly, that wasn't safe--using a phone and driving--and add to that her being enraged. It was a disaster waiting to happen.

"Maybe you should pull over while you're on the phone..." I suggested, because I cared about her. It was the sort of thing I'd have said any time we had a call but she was so angry with me, she snapped.

"Don't fucking tell me what to do. I'm done with you ordering me around. And you're going to break it off with Nev. Whatever this thing is, knock it off. Stop using her to get to me. I'm over it. We'll talk when I'm damn good and read to talk to you." She huffed; a horn honked, and then she continued. "And she told me you had sex. You're despicable, you know that? You call Drew the player, but you know as well as I do that you have no intention of staying with her. You can't keep a relationship if your life depended on it. If you hurt her, so help me Beck..."

"Woah," I said, bolting to my feet. Now I was angry. I would never--could never--take advantage of a woman. If Nev and I had sex, which she said we did, then I had definitely obtained her consent. I wasn't a monster. "I didn't take advantage of her. We're dating. It was consensual sex. She wanted it as much as me, and honestly, we'll probably do it again." The lies rolled off my tongue pushing every button she had. I didn't even care that it was pissing her off more. It was working.

Nev's plan had forced Cici to confront me. And if Nev was doing her part--which I fully believed she was--then we were well on our way to convincing Cici she'd have to eventually break down and accept me.

"I don't believe you. Nev was upset, alright. She was crying and I pried it out of her. What did you do to her?" Cici honked her horn again and a slew of cuss words came out of her mouth directed at me. It fired me up a little; I wouldn't lie about that. She got her protective side from me and I was proud of her for being such a good friend.

"I'll call her, okay?" I said calmly, realizing that if Cici was right and Nev was crying about it, then maybe it wasn't as okay as I thought it was. "Please, try to calm down so you don't have an accident. I love you, Cease."

She huffed out another loud sigh and said, "Just end it, Beck. We both know you're only doing this to get to me. I just need space to process the way you've treated me. She doesn't have to be in the middle of this."

I realized that she was doing to me exactly what I'd been doing to her. Pushing me away from her best friend. Except I'd been doing it to protect her and she was doing it to protect Nev. Only Nev didn't need to be protected from me. We were in this as partners, and we both knew the entire plan was to make Cici pay attention, which was what had happened. I owed Nev an apology for ever doubting her.

"I'll call her. Please just be safe."

The line clicked and went dead and I sank back into my chair. I was a bit hot under the collar after that interaction, but I felt hopeful now. I hated that I had to provoke her more just to get her to talk to me, but it had worked. Now, we could really sell this fake relationship and maybe Cici would want to be a part of it, get her hands right in the middle of it to really keep me away and protect Nev. If that happened, I could show her that I wasn't a monster and that Nev was only trying to help show her that.

With the phone app open on my screen, I navigated to the recent calls and pressed Nev's name. It rang through to voicemail the first time, but given that she'd just had a call with Cici recently--or so I had assumed--I figured I'd try again. On the second call, she answered right away.

"Hey, Beck," she said, then I heard her blub and sniffle. Her stutter breathing told me she'd been crying a lot, not just a few tears.

"Hey... What's up? Cici just called me. She said you were crying..." Concern built in my chest, making my shoulders tense. If I really had been a jerk about things and pushed her to have sex with me last week, I needed to know. I needed to make things right, and maybe I needed rehab too. I knew I was drinking too much, and that was the reason I didn't remember much of that night. I just knew myself. I'd never have done that to any woman sober.

"Uh, yeah, I have been." She sounded quiet. In fact the background of the call on her end was quiet too. This time of day she should have been on her way to work, the subway or city street.

"Is everything okay?" My self-preservation instinct overrode my train of thought and fear of her accusing me of date rape or something made me slightly panicked. But my good news still lingered in the front of my mind.

"Yeah, it's not you at all, okay." She sniffled again and then blew her nose. "My agent is a total asshole. He told me not to come in for today's shoot because I would 'never fit the dress anyway.' He hired a different model for this one and I'm super pissed that this entire industry is like this. It's not my fault my tits are big."

A ghost memory of her tits in the palm of my hands flashed in my eyes and I knew Cici was wrong. Nev had wanted that sex as much as me. What guy wouldn't? Nev was gorgeous.

"Damn, he sounds like an ass for sure." I wanted to punch the idiot for making her feel inferior to other models. Nev was perfect, thin and pretty, she deserved that shoot and her agent was an idiot. "Want me to go down there and punch him in the nose?" It was a half joke but half serious. She was helping me win Cici back and I'd like to return the favor.

"No, honestly. It's just the industry and I need to toughen up. That's all." She sucked in a deep breath and blew it out, then said, "So she called you?"

"Yeah," I chuckled, "she's pretty pissed that we fucked. She thinks I took advantage of you." The line was quiet, very quiet, but Nev didn't agree with Cici's accusation. Nor did she agree with me, but I continued anyway. "Anyway, I think it's working. I wanted to say thank you for your help. Let's keep this up. I can see her coming around soon, after she cools down and realizes I'm not being a jerk. Though, we really have to sell it, you know? They have to see that you're really into it so they believe it's real. She also thinks I'm using you to get to her. So we have to nip that in the bud."

"Yeah, can't have her believing that..." Nev's tone was dull and flat. That asswipe of an agent must really have done a number on her.

"Look, want me to take you out to get your mind off things? We can go for a hike or something. We don't have to eat." I tried to consider her situation and her feelings but I must have said the wrong thing because she burst into tears and told me she had to go, then hung up.

If I just went down there and put that guy in his place she'd be pissed, but fuck would I have liked to do it. In the meantime, I sat back in my seat trying to plan the next steps of this fake relationship. It was working so far, we just had to keep the train rolling.