All Comments on 'Faked Ch. 02'

chur m8 awsum story

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Let me see you I have this right. The husband is drunk then confesses to a sexual act he did not do.

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The wife decides to flock one of his coworkers...Don't want she finds out that the whole thing was a conspiracy and that her husband did nothing wrong... the wife runs away and hides at her parents house because she is consumed by guilt?

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And this cuck loser faggot husband is ready to forgive her?

BUT

Are you experimenting with a new Avant Guard writing style where you mix people and viewpoints and time sequences all in the same paragraph?

It is not working

It makes your story unintelligible Write it so that people can understand without having to read everything two and three times and then still need to guess just what the hell you are trying to say

very good continuation. 5⭐

The mysteries are unveiled even though you gave a lot of clues in the first part.

Thanks for sharing your story.

It just keeps getting better. I told you, Omegaman56, you are GOOD, really good. Keep it up!

So I am right, the truth comes out and she nearly kills Randall.

If he takes her back he is nothing but a dumbass cuckold

Good story, poor writing!

1st, he's a fucking moron for taking the abuse. He manned up about his so called "cheating". Then she turned in to psycho bitch and now he's supposed to give a fuck about her. Why?

Deepfake tech alters a video image but not audio, so it's just ridiculous that the MC, wife and everyone else who watched it never spotted this glaring fact. This plot point is what the entire story is hinged on, and you get it wrong.

Also, if the wife is so fucking sorry for what she had done, why not give all the asset's back to her wronged husband instead of some trust fund i the kids names?

You keep putting the character’s thoughts in quotes with their actual dialogue. It’s weird.

Why did you make the "hero" such a weak, pathetic, piece-of-shit doormat? He deserved all he got simply for being so fucking stupid.

I was at the high on the first chapter because I thought it was very well written. And I somehow saw what was coming but hoping against hope that there will be no reconciliation.

This second chapter is a disappointment. Really.

It right away in just two pages showed what I was dreading.

David is A CUCK. A wimp not worth his US Marine uniform. David got bitch-slapped, taken to the cleaners, lost his job and career and just took absolute DISRESPECT from Katrina. Yeah, he somehow manage to thump his breast at Katrina and Randall but it was nothing but air.

Now, the combat veteran of so many wars, is running to his wife like a dog with its tail between his hinds. What a wimp.

A thank you to Omegaman56 somehow for the effort and sharing of this story. *sigh*.

It is a good story and I've enjoyed the read. There are many parts that push the limits of believability. I don't buy his playing babysitter while she and Randell go out on dates. The character you've created would rather shot himself than subject himself to that humility. Finally "Faked Technology" .

It's such a shame that an author with decent ideas can't express them in proper English. Maybe this is not his native language but that's what editors can correct.

First class story brought down by piss poor grammar, lousy spelling, and other middle school mistakes that could have been caught by any half way decent editor.

Omegaman56: I hope you read these comments, because they are intended to be constructive. First of all, 'dam' is not the same as 'damn'. Reading 'dam' in that context isn't a big deal, but it diminishes your work, because it implies a lack of detail. Also, there are whole paragraphs of dialogue without quotes. At least, I think they are dialogue, because if they are thoughts, there is nothing to indicate it. Look at the 'How To' category, a check out the excellent article on quotations; it's definitive and instructive.

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Your stories are good, but you need someone to proofread them and do a bit of tweaking. I'll be glad to help, and feel free to message me through the 'Contact' tab on my Member Page.

If she loved him, even a little, she wouldn’t have gone after him like a rabid dog.

I hate it when writers lie, and Omegaman, you lied. You tell us she loves him. No she doesn’t. You don’t fuck another person, rub your ex partners face in it, run them down in court, and then turn around and say “I really love you”.

Would you write a story about a man who beats his wife, who treats her like a piece of shit and then says “but I really love you, I was just angry that you spoke to another man”?

No, you wouldn’t. So why is this ok?

You see, in the end, she divorced him. She fucked another man and except an amazing coincidence where the 3 main rapists colluded in a public bathroom, she would have gone on believing her ex husband is a cheater and she is a saint for sleeping around as a single woman.

Now that she found out she was wrong, only now she feels remorse and is ashamed of her actions and sorry she ruined his career. What she did was still wrong only the author is lying to us.

No wonder one daughter had trouble with English. Her well educated Father (the writer and MC) has many, many errors in his work. Good story though

Great story!!!

Very good story so far. You really do need a good editor and a proofreader. With these two people you could become a very favored author on this site. Ignore all the anons and the hardcore women haters. Other than the video technology you describe, your story is very believable.

So, what if Randall was the great big cocked lover and not the husband? How would he feel about taking her back then? I totally understand the divorce based on the premise of great technology. Had she not done anything in those months but just be an ex wife then I see a RAAC. But when she goes and has sex within a week I think? and to Randall, and rubs it in his face, and shows him how sexy she is and how she will give Randall her ass... NO way would I take her back. Its not just the sex. It is how angry and cruel she was. Now he see's the real woman. She knows it so that is why she is staying away from him.

I enjoy the interesting deep fake angle but you need an editor and to improve on character emotions and depth.

I'm not buying the sainthood from your mc.

Was anticipating a lot more, actually. But it went down a too predictable road.

3***

It's difficult to feel any sympathy for the husband after the pitiful way he didn't even try to defend himself against the obvious frame job in the first chapter. He was also a dumbass for becoming friends with Randall, the sleazy asshole that sexually assaulted Katrina. He doesn't act like any military man I've ever met.

Read 1 and 2.

I can kind of see it however the Colonel actions in the latter half of chapter 2 don’t make a lot of sense.

Maybe things will become clearer in Chap 3….

This one of the best stories in LW in several days or maybe weeks. I couldn't wait for this chapter to arrive and now I am heading to chapter 3.

The writing is a little rough.

Still another story about a spineless, pathetic excuse for a man. Reading the stories on this site you'd think there wereno men out there who'd react realistically and move on with his life

So far so good. It is not clear to me what should be done to extend the story.

"David, I talked to her for a while. The guilt is killing her."

I gritted his teeth in frustration, "Well, go tell Katrina, I forgive her. I'll be a cuck

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****Fixed it for you

/

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Paxton woke me out of my thoughts, "We wanted to show you that you were in no way at fault for what happened. We will be reporting this to your commanders, and I am sure they will reconsider your career options.

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****You obviously have had no experience with the military, their big on slogans like loyalty and honor, but they just fired a guy last week for telling the truth about Marxism settling into the command structure, and I recall when I was going thru basic a Drill Sergeant was caught stealing from privates near the end of my time in Basic, sure they drummed him out, but the private who accused him the first week? The one all the Drills harassed relentlessly and was written up over so many minor infractions they forced him out with a bad conduct discharge, doesnt matter he was right or innocent, the bureaucracy must never be seen as having been wrong

A succinct & most-perfect example of a ‘Change Of Point Of View’ error!

… I gritted his teeth in frustration …

I have seen the PoV error between paragraphs. I have even seen it within a paragraph, but separated by a sentence or two. Rarely I have seen it within a paragraph and in adjacent sentences. This one is WITHIN a SHORT sentence. And it is incontrovertible. It is damn-near impossible to contend that person 1 can make person 2 grit his/her teeth.

This seems to be a first draft created in a great rush. It is probably clear to OM56 and those of We-The-Readers who are clairvoyant but not to the rest of WTRs. The most unbelievable part is, IMHO, when Sweetie is grabbed from behind (probably by one of the gang-bang crew) and is stunned. Then gets up (before or after her GB is not clear) and takes a long hot shower (without any elucidation re: the police, GBers, EMTs, hotel security/admin) then gets bailed out by her folks (unaddressed but perhaps from jail for several grave felonies) and she goes to their home.

Somewhere around 30-50 loose threads left dangling. In some fairness, it is not too hard to knit most of those into a realistic tapestry close to what OM56 intended.

2* Cannot wait to see Ch3.

You couldn't see the plot fault forest for the AI trees. Yeah, yeah, this fucking computer graphics is so fucking amazing that, that, . . ., that you forgot to explain why she didn't gag Randall before she started beating him. You didn't explain why she didn't ask him to get a remote cabin on the beach or in the mountains. You never have explained why no one bothered to locate Trixie and verify the adultery, or even bother to find out who paid for the hotel room where the adultery was supposedly filmed. Yeah, it was all drugs and artificial intelligence; smoke and mirrors.

Now the cruel bitch is still torturing the dumb ass cuck, and he's lapping it up like he would have Randall's cum if the whore had asked him to.

Naw, just another camouflaged cuck story. But thanks for the effort.

You know it's a good story when Whackdoodl is throwing a hissy fit lol

Real nice and convenient. New tech and new drugs, just how did Randall get hold of this stuff? What is the timeline during all this stuff going on, seems like almost a whole year to this point. And I thought that David was retired, but what is doing with a secretary and still has rank of Colonel. Lots of questions and some big holes here and there. Overall, this story is outrageous, sad, captivating, and intriguing. I really like this story only because I was ex-military and I know that lots of this shit is bull, but that's what makes it fun to read....Next chapter please.

Why were the feds involved at all? This was a complete mess. Point of views were wrong.

This pathetic plot is a disservice to the fine men and women of the US Marine Corps. The disrespect the author shows for these dedicated patriots, who who have fought for freedom at every turn since November 10, 1775, is inexcusable. For Omegaman56 to state he believes in "honor and integrity" is laughable. This slanderous submission shows he has no personal relationship with either concept.

I really enjoyed this chapter. I knew old Randy was behind all the troubles, but he really went all in. Kat castrating the bastard with a whip is brutal, and very deserved. I hope the Col isn’t through with him yet either. Good one Omega

An enjoyable read! The main premise of a deep fake is scary!!. Kept the Marine honorable and dealt with situations head on! I can’t ask for more - not like I paid for it.

Pretty bad. It's so bad I hope it was written as a joke.

I gritted his teeth in frustration, "Well, go tell Katrina, I forgive her. I'll take her back in a New York minute.

GREAT SO FAR, IVE ONLY COMMENTED TO SAY KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND IGNORE THE BAD COMMENTS THE WORLD IS FULL OF BITTER WOKE-ISTS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO ,ITS SUPPOSED TO BE FICTIONAL ESCAPISM SO JUST GIVE THEM THEIR MONEY BACK, JUST 5⭐️.

This was consistent with the other 3 stories I read by this author- terribly written, full of mistakes. I'm a conservative; I don' t understand this need to correlate political affiliation with credibility of comment, from either side. That's just childish.

Save his career first. Move on without the dumb, cheating, psycho bitch!!!!

This guy is way too much of a pussy for immediately wanting Katrina back.

I can see a possible reconciliation of some sort after a long period of time and with a lot of work from Katrina.

This immediate eagerness from him gives him a high chuck/wimp rating.

Here we go, another pathetic RAAC story. This is like the third story were a marine plays the spineless beta. (Seems to be a pattern here with these beta apologist writers)

No, just had dinner so I won't finish this drek.

Yep, you bet the guy never to be believed loses everything. Now she will not talk to him.That's women for ya. Hell, if they didn't have a pussy, thered be a bounty on their ears. LP

She is actually written as a really shitty person. Not doing him justice even now it's all about her to bad he is so pathetic.

Disturbing trend regarding writing high rank and experience military guys as wimps. The military is isruggling now with wokeness, critical race theory and other concepts to be taught at West Point etc. military denies but the reading list is self evident for many courses. Ramstein tried having a groups of trans and other alphabet people have child time reading, but that was luckily shot down. When the military fails, we will all fail. No way a colonel on the way to general acts like this guy.

Utterly predictable.

Somebody in the comments said Baxter was pathetic. Wrong. He was not that good. Worse than pathetic.

Maybe a 1 tops. Not 5. No friggen way.

She is a white mother who was scammed in such a horrible manner that it destroyed her marriage and family. Her husband was blackmailed and his career destroyed by the same scam. She proceeded to ger revenge with the same asshole who destroyed her family because he got off on it. She was going to be drugged and raped.

Those are such extreme extenuating circumstances that jury nullification or a hung jury would be extremely likely. A prosecutor might want to hang his hat on a case like that but the DA would be far more interested in a deal. If she did go to trial and by some miracle was found guilty, she would get at most 2 or 3 years. She would be out in 1. No friggen way way would she receive an 8 year sentence. The media circus, the victim rights groups, women's organizations etc all would be yelling loudly. 5 years? Nope.

And then you have victim rights groups come out of the wood work with the media circus. It would make nation news. No way in hell.

Agree with Angel rider comments regarding her trial and results.

Also, don't think that I would still be living her after all her hurtful actions.

It would a long hard road to ever rekindle any serious feelings for her.

Ageee with other comments below. No way she does significant jail time. At worse she goes with temporary insanity plea. Yes she shackled Randall and made preparations to pubish him in dominatrix outfit with his permission (up to a point) but then she snapped. Would give the justice system a way out when they don't want to jail a white woman and mother of two who has no prior record, was hideously betrayed by Randall, who destroyed her marriag, wrote the blackmail letter, sent the deep fake video, and planned to gang rape her while drugged. This gets plead down or she gets a couple years max., maybe even time served. Lot of juries would acquit her. Most DAs would not prosecute if up for re-election provided her lawyer threatened to take the details to the public. So yeah eight years was ludicrous. Look what happened with Lorena Bobbit? And she severed her husband's penis. Nah not a realistic legal conclusion. Other criticism is that the husband comes off at times as a sad sack and wishy washy or letting people run over his ex wife. He was a colonel in the military. Huh? That doesn't square.

I find it hard to believe a DA/ prosecutor would choose to push this to trial. Maybe a plea deal without jail time or just a little. It's happened, but typically to a person who is already in a bad light.... but in this case with the deep fake and driving and intent on a rape by the others ... hard to believe. That says I recall a case where a trafficked teen killed her John when she got ahold of a knife. It was proven she was not a willing prostitute, that he knew this, and that he abused her, and she still went to jail. So it happens... Google Cynthia Brown and Piper Lewis. Still don't see it in this case. This girls we're poor, had no control of the story or media, nor any decent representation at the time and what's had a cloud of suspicion regarding whether or not they were trafficked or willing prostitutes during their trials.

Aside from that... I hate the use of children to hurt the other parent. I know it's just a story. I know she's written as mostly good, and did it out of pain which is very realistic. Happens often. I still don't get it. My kids are first. My job is to protect them and teach them to take care of themselves. It's a forever job that typically gets less demanding with time ... though not always.

If I am hurting and have the opportunity to hurt the person hurting me at the expense of my children... physically or psychologist... vs letting that person off without repercussion and not hurting my kids .... well, unless there are other factors that impact my kids well being or the safety of others... if it's just my pride or loss of vengeance at stake it's a no-brainer. That person gets a free pass and my children get a better life. I wish all parents thought that way... yes, there are teaching moments when your kids need to have pain while you walk them through it, but that's not the point here is it...

She knows this isn't a good guy. He groped her. As far as she knows he offered to hide what her husband did. Scum, so why bring him to their home then again, why go play golf with him? If have wanted nothing to do with him despite his apology.

Great writing though and get story. My long diatribe above is proof that you've written, at least for me, a thought provoking story.

Good story. But the 8 years seems ludicrous.

Given the testimony, the recorded conversation, the planned gamgbang rape and drugging, the electronic trail with their text messages, the accomplices who knew what was planned and will cut deals to reduce jail time, beong a.mothrt to two kids, and the fact her marriage was destroyed and the asshole was responsible, not to mention she has no prior record, there is no way she gets an 8 year sentence.

Yes jury might convict (might, remeber Lorena Bobbit) based on the assault but no way a judge will order that sentence if they want to get re-elected again. Heck a lot of women (and men).would consider her assault heroic (or justice / payback).

Now she may be open to a huge civil trial and subsequent penalty, but she can canecl that with jer own massive civil suit against Randall. But that is a different story.

The criminal sentence would be max 3 years with parole in 18 months. At the worst. And that is pnly if she pleads guilty ir has the crappuest lawyer.

Heck if she went with the irrational behavior defense, she could probably get a plosych evaluation and spend a few months in a behavioral psych ward. Seriously. After all Lorena Bobbit got zero jail time and spent some short time in a psych ward for cutting her abusive, cheating husband's dick completely off with a knife.

Well it is the author's fictional story. But not remotely realistic. Still entertaining. Glad the MC is honorable and will reconcile assuming she doesn't waste away while depressed in jail. Her guilt and shame must be immense.

You have made this quite modern, kept the buss going in a good way.

Good one

The Navy has got to be on their ass if they're going to put this creature you let be a colonel back in the line for promotions. Imagine an asshole like this colonel, weakly undisciplined and his "ex's ass" becomes the commanding general. Terrible!

What does he want with a slut who humiliates and emasculates him?

i don't think a jury would convict

This guy is a totally emasculated simp. You doesn't deserve to have a pair of testicles. " I just want her back." Sloppy seconds and all I guess.

so the colenel wants to be a cuck?

When this story was written his superiors would no have reconsidered his dismissal, in 2024 they would have espeisically if he offered to cut off his cock

Stuff like this could easily be avoided if you have real faith and love for your partner. The second you start to listen to other people when they try to interfere in your relationship, is the second you open up the gates to let the barbarians in. So what if they show you video "evidence"? Isn't it convenient they have this video all ready to go? Aren't people suspicious anymore about the motives of others when it comes to involving themselves in your relationships? Don't they spot obvious setups a mile away anymore? Well maybe in the real world, but certainly not in so many of these stories.