Faking Forever Ch. 23-24

Chapter 23

I expected to grab some attention, but I never expected every woman in this office to go gaga over me. They all stared as I walked from the elevators through the office space to where Cici's secretary peeked at me over the counter behind which she sat. Her glasses slid down her nose and she pushed them back up. If Cici wasn't going to respond to any calls or texts I would just make her listen to me. It had been days, more than a week actually, and she was elusive as fuck. Besides, I was her biggest client and she couldn't ignore me at work.

"Hello, Mr. Pratt. I don't have you on the schedule for a meeting." The woman looked intimidated, as if by means of telepathy I'd crush her or something. Her lip quivered, hands fidgeting with a paperclip.

"Uh, no. This isn't a business call," I said lifting the bouquet of flowers I'd purchased for Cici. It was a smattering of daisies of different colors--a throwback to the corsage she wore in high school on prom night when I didn't take her. I thought it a fitting apology seeing as I was trying to reverse the mistakes of my past.

"Sir, she's on a call with a client. I'm not sure she can take a personal break right now."

I leaned over the counter with my elbows firmly propped in front of me and cocked my head. "I have invested in a ten-million-dollar contract with this firm, and I am requesting to see my account manager. Are you refusing to help me? Should I call Mr. York personally?"

The secretary's face blanched and she shook her head. "Uh, no sir. I apologize, Mr. Pratt. I just don't think--"

"I don't think you understand Ms..." I waited and she provided her name hastily.

"Julie."

"Julie... I don't think you understand that I am going in that office whether you buzz me in or not." I narrowed my eyes at her and she nodded again, rising to scurry to the door. My bet was this woman would let an armed gunman into Cici's office if he got a little assertive--not a great fit for Cici in my opinion.

"Thank you," I said as I followed her.

The door swung open to reveal Cici seated behind her desk on a phone call as Julie had indicated. Her cheeks flushed as I gripped the bouquet in both hands in front of myself. Julie vanished but left the door open in her haste and I didn't bother shutting it. Once Cici was in my field of vision there was nothing else I wanted more than to be close to her. I had fucked shit up and it was time to make it right.

"Uh, I have to go, Mr. Jordan... Yes, thank you. Yes, I'll call you tomorrow." She glowered at me. "Mhmm, okay. M-bye." Cici stood as she put the receiver back in the cradle and pressed her fingertips into her desk. She wore a form-fitting green skirt and sleeveless silk blouse. The way it dangled in front gave me a glimpse of her cleavage but I wasn't interested in checking her out and getting turned on. My intent here was innocent as can be.

"Cici, I..." I took a step forward, holding the flowers out. She merely stared at me. She was so beautiful, both inside and out, and I had never taken the time to appreciate the internal beauty of a strong woman who was successful and intelligent. I could have kicked myself for being so selfish and insecure around her.

"What do you want, Drew? We don't have a meeting today."

"This is personal." I walked closer, hearing a few voices in the hallway. I knew they were watching, whispering about us. I didn't care. I'd get on my face on national television and tell the world what a jerk I'd been to her. She straightened as I approached the desk and offered the flowers. For a moment she just stared at them, then she took them and dropped them directly into the trash bin.

I knew she would be upset with me still. Otherwise she'd have answered my calls. But to throw them away right in front of me? For a moment I wanted to react, to shout and tell her what a bitch she was being when I was trying to apologize, but I realized that was the Drew that hurt her. He was the one who she was angry with and I needed to show her that I wasn't that guy anymore. Even though I was really hurt by that.

"I can see you're still upset. I'm so sorry. I have been calling and messaging. You haven't picked up or responded. I just needed to know that you heard and understood my apology. I was very insensitive and hurtful. I didn't take your feelings into account on any level. I was selfish and rude, and I want to make things better. I want you to--"

"Mr. Pratt, unless you have some sort of business here, I suggest you leave. We did not have a meeting. Is there something the matter with your paperwork? Are your team members not performing?"

"Cici, please..." I reached out a hand and she backed away. It was then that I noticed the fatigue around her eyes. Fine lines and puffy bags indicated she was tired, maybe not hydrating well. Cici always took care of herself. This wasn't normal.

"Drew, stop." Her volume went from five to one in a breath. "This is not appropriate for work."

"If you'd answer my calls or respond to my texts you'd know I'm genuinely sorry. Cici, I lo--"

"I said stop," she rushed out in a harsh whisper. All I could do was stare at her. Even the part of me that wanted to get angry had been silenced. She was right; this wasn't a workplace conversation but how else would I get through to her? And I needed to get through to her.

"Would you join me for dinner?" I retracted my hand and stepped backward.

"Because the last dinner went so well..." She rolled her eyes. "I really have a lot of work to get done. If you have a problem with your account please call me and set up an appointment. At work. On the clock." Her arms cooly folded over her chest and she tossed her warm brown waves over a shoulder.

"I understand." I turned, feeling very rejected, and walked out of her office. Normally a time like this would leave me feeling enraged, furious that I hadn't gotten what I wanted, ready to fight. Right now, however, the only thing I felt was gutted. It must have showed on my face too because as I walked through the office all I got were looks of sympathy.

When I got to the elevators I ran into Mr. York with a dazzling smile and a cup of coffee in hand. His balding head reflected the overhead light, but still wasn't as bright as his expression. "Drew! So glad you're here. Cici said there was trouble in paradise. I hope you're working things out."

She already told them? It had been like ten fucking days. My god, she was serious. It wasn't a joke. That's why she was ghosting me except for work matters. She was really done and what the fuck was I going to do now? Now that my heart knew what it wanted, after all these years, after the times she tried to flirt with me and convince me we'd be a good match. Literally more than a decade. Now she was done?

Part of me wanted to run back in there and throw myself on my knees, let the tears flow, grovel, beg, whatever it was I had to do to convince her to forgive me and give me another chance. The other part of me stood and stared at York blankly. I knew it was a total loss. When Cici decided something that was it.

"You okay, Pratt?" York sipped his coffee and the elevator dinged. I glanced at it then turned back to him.

"Uh, yeah. I hope I can work things out but if not the account is still good. We can leave things as is." At least that way I'd get to see her now and then. That is, before she climbed the corporate ladder and got awarded her own office in Muskegon or some random place.

"Hm... Good." He nodded at the elevator. "This must be you. I'm going up." He grinned again and I nodded and stepped into the elevator. There were a few other people there, chatting. The doors slid shut and I closed my eyes and sighed, listening to their conversation.

"Yeah well, when you want something, you go get it. I just decided I wanted the job, and I did everything I could to make it happen. Some of those things weren't in my control, but what was in my control, I did." The man seemed young, in his early twenties. I wasn't sure what he was talking about but I agreed with him--usually.

"But vice president of procurement? At twenty-four?" The woman, maybe his secretary, seemed floored.

"I am telling you. If you want something--don't quit. Quitting is the surest way of losing."

The doors slid open on the floor below and the pair walked out, leaving me alone. There was a man much younger than me, with the same spunk and drive that I had at that age. Obviously, a great deal more maturity though. At his age I was pranking Cici, cramming for finals and going to drunken parties with Beck. I had the drive, did the thing; I just went about it in a very messy awkward way. Now, however, I had the determination to take what I wanted.

The only problem was, Cici had her own mind. I couldn't just take her. God, did I want to though. And not just in a sexual way. I wanted to take her, and wife her, and make her the happiest woman alive. Champion her dreams, support her, encourage her, and cherish her. I was such a fuck up.

But I wasn't a quitter. I hurt her, and I wasn't about to stop trying to fix it now.

Chapter 24

He took my breath away. Literally stole it and left, and now, I. Can't. Breathe. I stood there watching him leave. His shoulders sagged, his face was drawn. He wasn't angry, didn't snap at me, didn't' make a rude comment. Drew Pratt was crushed, like gut-wrenchingly dejected and disappointed, and I'd done that to him, and somehow this feeling didn't feel good. Not like telling him off at dinner week before last. Now I was the asshat.

Julie walked in with a concerned look on her face and quietly shut the door. I wasn't an idiot. He left the door open and they'd all heard it. I wondered if he did that just to put on a show, make the whole office feel sorry for him so I'd be forced to give him another chance. But the Drew I knew would have snapped at me, gone off and shouted or something because he didn't get his way.

This time, when he left, however, he was silent. It didn't make sense. Why was he treating me differently now? I swear to God he was going to say he loved me but why? He didn't actually love me. Drew Pratt wasn't' capable of love. He was a complete narcissist. Beck was right; Drew would never change. So why was he changing? And what did that say about Beck's words of caution?

"Cici?" Julie approached my desk and I blinked a few times and looked at her. She never used my first name. "Are you okay?"

"I... uh," I muttered, slowly sinking into my chair. Was I okay, or had Drew just finally gotten to me? My mind was a whirl of emotion and thoughts. How long had I wanted him to tell me he loved me and mean it? I knew he said it in a drunk text. He said it at the burger joint that night. But it wasn't real. He didn't know how to love. Beck was telling me the truth. Drew was a jerk and a player.

"I sort of overheard everything. It seems like Mr. Pratt was really sincere. He looked so discouraged when he left. What happened between you two?" Julie sat across from me and I shrugged. This was the sort of thing I should discuss with Nev, not my personal assistant, but Nev wasn't here, and Nev was biased. She knew too much about this entire situation--too much about Drew. Her advice would be one of two extremes: tell him to fuck off or fuck him. And I didn't know that either was the right choice.

If I talked to Beck, I knew his advice. He'd tell me to cut Pratt loose and not even handle his account at work. But Beck had been doing that since we were kids. Maybe he always knew who Drew was. Or maybe he was jealous, but either way, Drew's actions had spoken for themselves recently. He hadn't matured a bit since his college days when I was strung out in love with him. But I had.

"We broke up a few weeks ago and he just isn't ready to let go." I didn't know how much to share. Getting too personal at work wasn't my thing. But maybe an objective third party would be good. Maybe she'd see something I missed.

"Need to talk?" She took the box of tissues from the corner of my desk and pushed it toward me. I doubted I'd need them, but it was a kind gesture. The sort of thing a friend would do. I smiled at her softly.

"Drew and I go way back. He used to be a bully back in the day, pranking me and such. My brother went along with him a lot too, both of them picking on me. I've been helplessly in love with Mr. Pratt for years, but recently things are different. We argue a lot. He has tried to use my position here to get in the spotlight with Mr. York. Sometimes he tells me what to wear or how to act. And he's rude a lot of times."

"Did you stop to think maybe he knows what he wants or likes?" Her words rang true. Drew was nothing if not brutally honest about what he wants. It was a good quality to have. Better than dating someone who didn't know what they wanted. "And his rudeness might just be stress."

"You don't know Drew." I rolled my eyes and covered my face with my hands. "My brother thinks he's a player, that he's just going to hurt me. And our past actually speaks for itself at times. I see he's trying to be sincere, but I don't know."

Julie sat back in her seat and nodded compassionately. She gave me a second and I sighed deeply. I wanted to give Drew the benefit of the doubt but if I did it would be taking a huge risk. My heart wasn't so quick to move on the way it did in high school. That's when you're supposed to date and have your heart broken, but in your twenties is when you're supposed to have it figured out, find the man you love and marry him.

"I know that darkness and light coexist." She gestured to the small floor lamp in the corner of my office. The light it cast created a distinct line between the glow from the bulb and the shadow where the light stopped. It was only a faint line but it was there. "I know without seeing someone's negative qualities you'll never appreciate how amazing their good qualities are."

"Like, I said, you don't know Drew." I knew I was being cynical, but if Beck was right, I was only in for heartbreak.

"I also know," she said, ignoring my comment, "that if you want a relationship, you have to work at it. No relationship comes easy. Every single one will have arguments and challenges. It's up to you to determine if the person means enough to you to work through things or throw them away. It seems to me you're wrestling with this. I know I'm crossing a line at work by saying this, but you're making a mistake, Cici. Drew is trying to make it right. If you love him, you should try too."

Julie stood and brushed her hands down the front of her pink skirt and walked out, shutting the door behind her. I wasn't sure if she was right or not, but one thing was for certain. Beck and Drew were still best friends. I didn't want my rude behavior causing problems for them. I felt guilty, as if I should apologize for being so curt with him.

I pulled out my phone and dialed Drew's number, but it went straight to voicemail. He didn't pick up, so I didn't leave a voicemail. If I was going to apologize it was something I needed to do in a one-on-one conversation, not a message. Maybe the next time we got together for his account I could slip it in.

I got distracted by my phone. Facebook had a red badge indicating I had a few notifications so I opened the app. Sure enough, I had memories again, and these ones cut me straight to the heart. It was graduation day and there was a picture of Drew and Beck with me in my cap and gown. I was so happy that day until they pranked me by having a fake diploma made that wasn't signed. They really convinced me that the thing was genuine and that the principal had no intention of signing. I hated them that day, but looking back I had a chuckle. After they told me it was a fake, they took me for ice cream.

Every time I wanted to tag along, Drew would say yes, but Beck would argue. I hated my brother for that, but he told me he was only trying to have his own friend and protect me at the same time. To this day, he still did that. So what if Beck was doing it again? What if Drew really had changed but Beck was trying to keep me out of the middle of his relationship? But Beck wouldn't be like that now, would he? Keep me from the man I'd wanted my whole life just because he was jealous?

I needed to talk to Beck, or maybe Drew, or maybe both of them. Definitely both of them. But Drew first.

I needed closure.