Fall and Rise

"Well thank you. If it helps, my husband is a white guy, though he's not old yet. That's where the name comes from. So, how are you feeling?"

"Very tired and just kind of...blah, I guess. What's wrong with me?"

"Well, judging by your test results I'd say that you have consumed a remarkable amount of alcohol for an extended period of time. You have alcohol poisoning as well as being severely dehydrated. If your friend hadn't called the ambulance when he did, you likely would not have made it."

"Friend?"

The doctor shuffled through her paperwork briefly.

"The ambulance was called by a...Tim Banks."

Of course.

"Mr. Banks asked that he be notified when you woke up, but that would require your permission. Is that all right?"

I wanted to say no but I found myself nodding. "Yeah, that's fine."

"We're going to keep you here for observation for a couple of days. As your body detoxifies there is the chance of complications that may need immediate attention. Any questions, Mr. Beckman?"

"I don't think so."

With instructions to get some rest, Dr. Anderson made her way out of my room and I was left alone. I turned on the television, mostly for the background noise, and settled in to try and relax. I was feeling okay so I doubted I would need the couple of days, but who was I to argue with a pretty doctor.

About an hour later there was a knock at my door, which then opened a few inches. I heard a man's voice.

"You dressed?"

Tim.

"Yeah."

He strolled into the room with that laconic walk he had. He stopped about 5 feet from the bed.

"How you doin'?"

"I'll live. I haven't decided yet if that's a good or a bad thing," I answered, a half-smile on my lips as I said it. "I suppose a thank you is in order."

"No need, Sam. You can thank me by getting yourself better and getting back to work."

"I didn't think I still had a job."

"What, you think you're the first employee to tell me to fuck off? Sam, we've been friends a long time, and I'm doing my best to help you get through this. I don't agree with all your choices and, frankly, I don't think the bitch is worth this. My ten cents of advice is to get off your ass, get your shit together, and rebuild the relationship with your kids. What Pauline did ended your marriage and wrecked your family. Don't let it ruin your life."

Intellectually, I knew he was right. I wasn't hurting anyone but myself, and maybe the girls. If anything, I was giving Pauline exactly what she probably really wanted. It was time to get my act together.

Tim and I chatted for another hour or so before he took off. As the evening wore on I began to feel worse. The doctor let me know that was my body adapting to the lack of alcohol. I hadn't had a drink in about 24 hours, which hadn't happened in months, and my body was rebelling. It occurred to me how sad that was.

I survived the night and checked out the next day. I was given some referrals to counselors, psychiatrists, rehab clinics, and Alcoholics Anonymous. I kept them all handy but in truth felt like I had already bottomed out and didn't really need them. I felt like the kick in the ass Tim had given me, and the wonderful hospital experience I'd just had, would be enough to get me on the straight and narrow.

I stayed off work for a couple more weeks. Tim was very understanding, both in my need for time off and considering what I had said to him that day. I'd banked enough savings so the financial hit was absorbable, and when I returned to work it was with gusto.

The next couple of months went by smoothly. The Martin Luther King Jr. Day party at Tim's was fun, and I took not a single drink. While I didn't necessarily think I was an alcoholic, I had no desire to test that theory. I thought I might get back to drinking beer again one day, but I planned to stick to drinks of the non-alcoholic variety for a while.

The truth was that the monthly parties were starting to wear on me. At first, I thought it might be a great way to build a social life but drunken, anonymous sex was not really my thing, so I passed on the Valentine's Day shindig and took myself out for a big steak dinner.

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It was the first of March when my life changed. It was a Saturday and I was running a few errands. I was walking into the grocery store when I saw a wild mane of dark blonde curls suddenly sit down right on the sidewalk, hard. I looked over and it appeared she had stumbled on the curb and went down. She was holding her ankle and wincing in pain. The few people that were around didn't seem to take much notice. I made my way over to her quickly.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

I know it was a dumb question but I didn't have anything else to lead with. She looked up at me, tears already starting to form around her pale blue eyes.

"I think I sprained my ankle."

"We should get you to an emergency room. I could call an ambulance but I'll be happy to take you myself, if you'd be okay with that."

"I don't want to impose."

"Impose? Nonsense. You just made today infinitely more interesting that it was going to be. I'm Sam, by the way."

"Well, all right, if you truly don't mind. It's nice to meet you, Sam. My name is Holly."

I helped her to her feet (well, foot), and as she straightened up I noticed...

"You're pregnant?"

"Oh, yeah, about 4 months."

"Let's hurry then. Just in case."

I picked her up and carried her over to my truck. I set her down briefly so I could open the door and then hoisted her into the passenger seat. It didn't take much as she was very petite, but the human body is still awkward to lift.

We made the short drive over to the emergency room attached to the local hospital. I went inside and asked them to bring a wheelchair, then pulled Holly from the truck and put her into it. There wasn't anyone waiting so she went right back to a room. I didn't presume that I could join her and she didn't invite me so I stayed in the waiting room.

For 4 hours.

I kept myself busy playing games and surfing the web on my phone. I assumed at some point she would call her husband, at which time I would leave quietly. But everyone that showed up was either a patient or there for someone else. So, I waited.

And waited.

Eventually the big doors opened and Holly came out in a wheelchair, being pushed by a nurse in all-light blue scrubs. I assumed she was a UNC fan but maybe it was just a coincidence.

Holly was looking back and the nurse and talking, and I heard the word taxi in there somewhere, but the nurse (or orderly or whatever) wasn't paying much attention, probably because she knew I was there waiting.

When Holly turned back around and saw me, the smile that crossed her face was as bright as a star going nova, I swear. The nurse pushed her over to me, giving me a 'where to?' look. I led her outside to my truck and loaded Holly inside. I thanked the nurse, though it was to her back as she had already turned and walked away. I climbed into the driver's side of the truck.

"I didn't expect you to still be here."

"I planned to wait until your husband came looking for you but no one showed up, so I stayed."

"Don't have one of those. It's just me and my mom, and she's out of town on business."

"Have you called her?"

"She'd just worry and want to rush home. I'll be all right. Since you waited this long, could I impose on you for a ride back to my car?"

I glanced down at her bandaged right ankle and then back to her eyes.

"Holly, I don't think you're going to be able to drive with that ankle."

"Oh, Sam, I didn't even think of that," she responded, also looking down at her ankle.

"If you don't mind, why don't I take you back to your place and then we'll figure out a way to get your car."

"That's very generous, Sam, but I've already taken up so much of your time."

"True, but it's been my pleasure, and far more interesting than sitting at home watching TV. I'd be happy to keep helping, if you're okay with it."

"Thank you, Sam."

She gave me directions back to her house, the one she shared with her mom. I pulled into the empty driveway and parked, then carried Holly from the truck to the house. I started to move toward the couch but she stopped me.

"Sam, I'm sorry, but I really need a restroom. Would you mind?"

I turned toward the hallway and followed her directions to a restroom. I placed her right in front of the toilet and then exited, waiting nearby while she took care of business. While I waited I ordered an Uber. She called to me and I entered, finding she had managed to stand and redress herself. I lifted her again and took her out to the couch.

"What now?" she asked.

"Well, I need to get your car. Overnight parking is a no-no down there."

"How are you going to do that?"

"I ordered an Uber and I'll go get it. Can I have your keys?"

"Oh Sam, you're going too far for me, but I really appreciate it."

She handed me the keys, giving me the plate number and about where she was parked, and I went outside to wait for my ride. It was only supposed to be a few minutes. I stopped at the doorway.

"Holly, would you have dinner with me tonight?"

"I'd love to, Sam," she said, flashing that glowing smile. "But I'm not really in a condition to go out."

"Of course. I was thinking that I would just grab something while I'm getting your car and we'll do it here."

I started out the door when I heard her say quietly, "Sam." I turned back to her and her face had gotten a more serious look.

"Sam, you do remember that I'm pregnant, right?"

"I know I'm a man, Holly, but I do have some smarts," I said with a smile. "I remember. Why?"

"It's just...a lot of men aren't interested in the instant family. I just wanted to be sure you knew what you were getting into."

"Holly, we obviously just met so we have a lot of getting to know each other to go. But I can assure that your pregnancy is not a problem."

"Okay, Sam. I just wanted...well, to be sure."

"I understand. I'll be back as soon as I can."

With her car keys in hand I went to the curb to wait for my Uber, which rolled up about 10 minutes later. The ride was uneventful and I found her car relatively easily. I figured Italian food was pretty safe so I found a local place not too from Holly's house and ordered to go.

It was nearing 7:00pm when I finally got back to Holly's house, containers of Italian food in hand. I found Holly sitting in the same place but she had changed into a dress. I mentioned it.

"I wanted to look pretty for our first date."

"Then you could've just stayed how you were, but somehow you still managed to improve.

She gave me a smile as I went to set the food out on the table. By the time I returned for her she had climbed to her feet and was hobbling toward me, albeit slowly, on her crutches. I moved to help her but she stopped me.

"I need to practice. Mom won't be home for a couple of days."

I pulled out her chair and she eased herself into it. As she did so I caught a whiff of her perfume, obviously freshly applied.

"You look and smell so nice, Holly. I feel a little grungy all of a sudden."

"Oh, you look very nice. Frankly, I don't like a man that's too froo-froo anyway."

We chatted about all the basics. I told her about my job with Tim's company (Durham Commercial Services) and she told me about her part-time job at a local car dealership working in the title department. Her mom works as a legal secretary and is the primary source of income. Her dad had taken off when Holly was 5 and she hadn't seen or heard from him since. She was an only child.

I gave her the rundown of my marriage, or more accurately the end of it. She was appropriately appalled at what Pauline had done, but didn't seem very happy with how I had handled the issue with Karen and Wendy, though she didn't say anything. And to be honest, as I said it all out loud, I wasn't particularly happy with myself either. I hate to say it but Pauline was right that they were just being teenagers and I should have been the adult about it. I'd need to figure out how to fix that.

I specifically avoided the topic of how she came to be 4 months pregnant without having a husband or boyfriend. It wasn't really my business and I didn't want to come off as judgmental.

At one point her phone rang, so I stepped outside to give her some privacy to speak with her mother. It was a pretty night with a slight breeze and a light cover of clouds blocking out most of the moonlight. I stared into the sky as I thought about the pretty blonde woman in the house behind me.

It had been a few years since my marriage ended and I hadn't had a long-term relationship since then, but suddenly it felt like it was time to consider that possibility. Did I really want to spend the rest of my life alone because my first choice had turned out to be a cheating, traitorous bitch! Damn, I'd need to get a handle on those emotions that Pauline inspired.

When she was done on the phone, Holly poked her head out the door to let me know I could come back in, thanking me for the privacy. We spent the rest of the evening camped out on the couch talking about anything and everything, again except for how that baby came to be growing in her belly. She didn't offer; I didn't ask.

Before I knew it, the time had reached midnight, and the yawns escaping from both of us suggested we call it a night. She got up and walked (crutched?) me to the door. We exchanged a brief kiss, little more than a peck really, and we made plans for me to come back tomorrow to spend Sunday together. I drove home like I was on a cloud. I slept very well.

The next day I arrived at her house around 9:00am with some breakfast I had picked up from a nice café not too far from my house. The French toast, sausage, and hash browns set me back a pretty penny but I cared not one bit. I knocked on the door and waited patiently. Holly was on crutches after all.

When the door opened she had clearly just rolled out of bed. Her hair was a mess (okay, her hair was very curly so it often looked kind of messy) and she wore her brace and an emerald green nightshirt. Okay, I'm a man, so I wondered if a bra and panties were part of the ensemble.

"God, are you up this early every morning?" she said with her eyes squinting and a smile on her face.

"Hazard of the job. Construction starts early. Heck, I was sitting around waiting for it to be a decent hour as it was."

"Well, you did bring breakfast so I guess you're forgiven."

We exchanged another brief kiss then I went to work setting up breakfast while she hobbled into a chair. She raved about the quality of the breakfast, which I knew she would, having eaten there before.

I suggested we spend the day driving the countryside. By this point I had lived in North Carolina for several months but I hadn't really gone anywhere other than work and Tim's parties. So that's what we did.

It was a beautiful day and we had a wonderful time. We spent some time at a museum, which thankfully had courtesy motorized carts so Holly didn't have to walk around. We had lunch at a small local diner, and spent a couple of hours just sitting in a park we happened to drive past. It was very relaxing, and I noticed that Holly often made contact with me. Just a hand on my hand or a shoulder leaning into me, but contact nonetheless.

By the time we got back to her place, she was very tired and her leg was pretty sore. I ran her a bath and encased her brace in plastic to keep it dry. I amused myself while she bathed, then helped her into bed.

We arranged for me to come over after work the following evening. She usually worked Mondays as well but was going to take a few days off to rest her foot.

I brought some tacos with me from a local family-owned taqueria and we talked some more. I gave her good foot a massage as we talked and soon she was drifting off to sleep. I put her to bed and was going to let myself out. As I was leaving she drowsily thanked me for coming over and reminded me her mother was coming home tomorrow. Before I could process what that meant she was asleep. As I walked out to my car I assumed she was letting me know that since her mother was coming home she didn't need me to come over.

The next night I was sitting in my apartment and getting ready to watch a documentary on World War II and somehow bring myself to suck down a frozen meal (just what in the hell is Salisbury steak anyway?) when my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Where are you?" Holly's angelic voice asked.

"I'm at home."

"Why aren't you here? I thought you were coming over?"

"I thought...well, I thought you didn't want me there since your mom was coming home. You even reminded me of it just before I left last night," I answered somewhat confused.

"Aargh! Men! I told you that so you'd be prepared to meet her. We've been waiting for you."

"Okay, I'm on my way."

Holly greeted me at the door with a lingering kiss and her arms around my neck. I could get used to this, I thought. I stepped into the house and Holly's mom, Barbara, was bringing some food out to the dinner table.

Except for the age difference they could be twins. Barbara had the same wild mane of blonde curls, though hers was more under control than Holly's. She was in excellent shape, probably weighing only a little more than Holly.

I sent to greet her, anticipating a handshake, but she pushed my hand aside and pulled me in for a tight hug, including a motherly kiss on my cheek.

"I'm so delighted to meet you, Sam. Holly has told me so much about you."

"The pleasure is mine, Ms. Ellison."

"Please, call me Barbara. And for the record, Ellison is Holly's last name but it's not mine. My last name, believe it or not, is Smith, courtesy of my most recent husband. He was number 3 if you're counting and I have no intention of there being a number 4."

I glanced at Holly and she just rolled her eyes at her mother's revelations. I suppose it was good to get that out of the way. Since the food was ready I washed up quickly and then we sat down to eat. Barbara had made a stuffed pasta and some garlic bread (with fresh diced garlic, as it should be) and it was delicious.

"I apologize for the mix-up, Barbara. I had understood Holly to mean that since you were coming home tonight I wasn't expected to come over."

"That's perfectly all right, Sam. Miscommunications happen. I was just excited to meet Holly's new boyfriend." I glanced at Holly at the word 'boyfriend' and she smiled back at me. "As I said, she's told me quite a bit about you. I understand you're in construction?"

"I work for Durham Commercial Services. Some of it is construction work, drywall and the like, but we also do pest control, electrical, and plumbing. I guess it's less construction than home maintenance."

"Do you enjoy that?"

"I like working with my hands. My boss has hinted at giving me a chance as a project manager sometime in the near future. And what do you do?"

"I'm a legal secretary. I work directly with the senior partners so I have a lot of late nights and I travel quite a bit. Thank you, by the way, for being here to take care of Holly when she got hurt."

"It was my pleasure, Barbara. It's been...a long time since I've had someone to take care of."

I sensed myself dropping into a funk as the faces of my girls popped into my head. I think I recovered fairly quickly but Holly and Barbara had expressions that showed they sensed what had happened.

We chatted at random during dinner and then I handled the clean-up. By the time I was done it was getting late. Holly and Barbara looked like they were saying good night, then Barbara came over to me.

"I'm quite tired so I'm going to turn in. The travel really takes it out of me these days. It was wonderful to meet you."