Fall Ch. 09-14

"No." Lethuel gently pulled a soft robe over her shoulders. "He isn't."

"That was attempted fucking murder! By demon at that!" Verena winced as she started to fold her arms out of habit and had to stop herself.

"It was a test." The fallen offered a faint smile, "What does Numphreon say about your language?"

Opening her mouth and closing it, she gave him an annoyed look, "I watch my mouth when she's around. I don't like to make her fuss." Glancing back at Ezeviel, she gave him a dirty look, "I'd like to see her give you that disappointed mother look though."

"Athidrial's task has not changed. She cannot be permitted to speak the name."

Closing her eyes for a moment she took a deep breath and frowned, "It has to be spoken aloud to be dangerous?" Verena opened her eyes to see the angel looking almost surprised. "The obvious solution, to me, is to render me unable to speak. But if you do that you leave me with no means to protect myself. Symbols only have so much power, they need the incantations to be truly effective. The newly fallen have too much to do to take on a disabled dispeller."

Another thought occurred to her, "Or I could stay in the library... that might be safe enough."

"It cannot be risked-"

"I have no intention of sharing that name, but they need to know why they should never speak it." Looking into the middle distance she tried to tamp down her unhappiness. "And Uncle had so much to teach, I didn't get the chance to pass on any of the little I had time to learn. I need the chance to do it."

"What could a dispeller teach that would be worth the risk?"

Ezeviel's frigid gaze made the room feel colder but she straightened and looked him in the eye. "Bend the rules only once you understand them, never break them. We're not here for grand strokes, we're here for fine details."

She shook her head, knowing what would make him listen, "He'd get philosophical about light and dark and colors, the man had the soul of an artist. 'Angels are a cold light, the newly fallen are a warm light, and the demons are dark, but people, the light shines in and splits up like a prism that shows all the colors on the wall.' When I asked about why some spirits linger, or some people get singled out for attention by angels or demons he said, 'Some people can catch the light and hold it, send it out farther, some people can make it stop with them. What you should try to keep in mind is that it's not some picture made with paint or woven with thread, it's made of light. We're never in the dark, we breathe it. We breathe the light. It's why we see what we see and do what we do.'

"And I can see what he meant, I can see it in the way your eyes look. Demons are opaque. Angels and the newly fallen tend to be translucent for the most part. I-"

His head tilted and then suddenly he blinked. "For the most part?"

"When they're miserable the newly fallen's eyes cloud, but they're never fully opaque." Verena could see gears beginning to shift.

"Athidrial's task can be changed."

"What task had you given him?"

"To hear the name is a death sentence." Ezeviel studied her face as the meaning dawned on her.

"You asked him to kill me... and you can stand there and tell me with a straight fucking face that you aren't cruel?" Just the thought felt like a knife twisting in her heart.

"It is necessary."

"It isn't, and even if it were it would be no less cruel to give that task to him." She met his gaze firmly, "If you had been captured and kept in the dark, tortured and tormented in a hell created just for you and someone came, reached out their hand, and pulled you back into the light... do you honestly not see the cruelty in being commanded to turn around and cause that person harm? When they handed out souls, consciences, and compassion you were what? Hiding under a rock? I know demons with a better grasp of simple fucking decency."

°°°°°°°°°

Fourteen

Athidrial adjusted the earflaps of her warm hat to cover her a little better and Verena gave him an amused smile. His creamy wings that turned brown toward the middle and extending to the tips had been healed by Ezeviel, she suspected by way of an apology, twitched as he noticed her expression.

"You can laugh but I take my task seriously. You will be well looked after."

She poked his arm and lifted her brows as best she could under her hat but he seemed to understand her expression.

"I will look after myself as well." He smiled warmly and his black speckled white eyes cleared and brightened, the black flecks shifting slightly.

"Monty?" A voice called into the stairwell.

The closest stone she'd been able to find to his eyes had been Montana moss agate and he'd taken part of it as a name that the dispellers could use to call for him in public without raising eyebrows. He took hold of her gloved hand and led her toward the voice.

"I'm here."

They stepped out into the parking deck and a nervous-looking boy waved them toward the waiting car. An older man was in the driver's seat eying them suspiciously. Climbing in the back with Athidrial, the boy closed the door on them and hopped into the front passenger seat.

"Where are we taking them, Uncle?"

"To the next drop off." The older man glanced at Verena in the rearview. "Are you cold? You can take off your hat and scarf."

"She has to stay covered until-"

"I was asking her." The man gave Athidrial a distrusting look in the mirror.

"She cannot speak and she has not yet learned what you call 'sign'. I am her voice and her caretaker."

"Why?" The boy turned in his seat to stare at them both and Verena grinned at him.

"What you might call a long time ago, I did something very foolish and this child of breath endured a great deal to pull me away from the demon harming me. I owe her immensely."

Taking hold of his hand, she shook her head and smiled ruefully gesturing between them and then miming opening a book without letting go.

The boy's brow furrowed and then he nodded, "There's a whole story and more than that between you."

Verena pointed at him and gave a curt nod.

"Are you... like, married or..."

Snorting and breaking into silent laughter she waved her hands and then gave the resigned looking creature next to her a slip of paper out of her pocket.

He read it with a curious frown and then laughed. "You were waiting for someone to ask? She didn't mean that we are involved in that way. The story involves more courage on your part than stupidity, child of breath. And you saved me, not the other way around."

She waved her finger, disagreeing and the boy grinned. "What did she do?"

"If this is who it's rumored to be and not one of the decoys," the older man started carefully, "she put more tools in our toolbox, deciphered the shattered grimoires, and ought to be locked in one of the libraries for safekeeping. Turn back around and leave them be."

They rode in silence for a time and she started to get too warm, tugging at the scarf that was carefully wrapped around her neck with a gloved hand.

"You cannot remove them until we are in a safe place." Athidrial took hold of her hands and frowned at the man eying them in the mirror. "Can you make the vehicle less warm?"

"Why can't she uncover?" The boy turned around again as the driver turned down the heat.

"She has distinctive marks."

"Burns, I heard." The man didn't sound pleased. "How dangerous is that armor she dug out of the archives?"

Verena made a writing gesture and the boy scrambled for something in the glove box. When he passed a pencil and small pad of paper back she started to write. It saved my life. When the armor is fully completed and you speak the incantation, it feels like the UV ink is burning under your skin. It wouldn't have really hurt me except I had to dispel several demons at once and the Angels I'd called down to help me poured power through the armor to let me do it. Without it I'd have probably ended up skull fucked and dragged to hell personally by one of the demons I'd been friendly with. They're extra nasty when they like you. With it I'm scarred for life and easy to spot for the demons still hunting me, if I uncover myself.

Passing it forward, Athidrial leaned as if trying to get a look at it. "I wish you would let me choose how much to say, child of breath. Your honesty is commendable but-"

"She's one of us. We appreciate warnings."

The boy read quietly for a moment. "It works because angels lend their power?"

She shook her head and looked pointedly at Athidrial.

"No, Angels can amplify the power but it will leave the wearer with burns. Alone it is effective against a single demon. We were facing... many and they were..." As he became nervous she rubbed his hand. "They were strong but we were stronger." His eyes lightened again as he remembered one of the last things she'd said before he'd rendered her mute, "We are always stronger together. Alone we fall, together we keep our feet and hold the light."

Turning to look back at them again with a concerned expression, the boy asked with a frown, "Not everyone has a-a caretaker, some of us are alone. What about the rest of us?"

"No child of the breath is ever truly in the dark and things... things are changing, child of breath. You are not so alone."