Fall in Love with a Girl Ch. 02

"Thanks again for inviting me over, your folks are really chill and cool," I said.

"Of course! They love you and were looking forward to finally meeting you," Layla replied with a squeeze of the hand. I was lost in thought and she turned to look at me. "Is everything okay, sweetheart?"

I tried to hold back tears, but couldn't prevent them from leaking free. "I guess so, I'm just sort of jealous if that makes sense? Back home, I was always looking for the approval of my parents, and at school I just felt like I had to be what people wanted me to be so I wouldn't be alone," I admitted. "You're so in touch with your passions, you know what you like, and I wish I had that for myself."

At this I broke down, unable to hold back my emotions. Layla simply pulled me into a tight hug and let me cry. We finally separated after what felt like forever, and for once I knew just what to do next.

"Layla?"

"Yes?"

"Will you go to prom with me?"

"Of course!" she replied. "You'll be okay dancing together in front of everyone we know?"

I thought for a second, even though I already knew the answer. "I want people to know about my amazing partner that lights up my life, and I want the memories of high school to be my authentic self. I can't say that coming out will go perfectly on the first try, because let's be real, it probably won't in this town," I laughed, "but I want to try. Together."

~~~

March dragged into April, and with exams approaching I wanted to try and test the waters on being more open about my relationship, starting at home. One Saturday I was eating lunch when I decided to try a subtle approach. "Hey, Mom, the school GSA is putting on an open mic night this Friday and I was thinking I'd go check it out? Might go with some friends." That last part wasn't a lie, I had asked Erin if she was interested and I knew Layla was in. The conversation from that night with Layla still resonated in my mind. Maybe she'd perform, and even if not she'd probably be there and I could start getting to know other people who were like me.

My mother reacted sharply to my question. "How do you know about that event?" she said pointedly.

I tried to think quickly of a response. "A friend of mine might be performing in it, also they put up posters at school. I've done all my work, it won't be an issue there," I tried to explain, my blood running cold by the minute.

This answer didn't seem to sit well with my mom and she was getting suspicious. Crap. "Do you know what that will look like? What people will say to you? About you?" She was playing on my insecurities and I was trying not to let her get to me, but I couldn't stop my leg from shaking under the table with anxiety. All I could do was try to keep a calm expression.

"What do you mean by that?" I inquired, trying a new tactic and opting to play dumb.

"You know very well what I mean, Sarah. We didn't raise you to be a lesbian," she intoned, putting extra emphasis on the last word.

I was trying to restrain my fury at this point, but with little success. "So what if I was?" I shot back. "UVic won't care, they'll focus on including students as they are. This isn't the 1980s anymore, and even if I was gay it wouldn't stop me from studying my passion and doing the things I love. My friends - my real friends - would accept me no matter who I am, as I would for them."

I was full-out shaking by now, and quickly did the mental calculus to reassure myself that I hadn't fucked anything up in my anger. I knew Erin was out to her parents, so my mom couldn't use that against her, and I was fairly confident she had no idea who Layla was. "I'm going for a walk to clear my head. I'm done with this conversation." I pulled my hoodie over my long hair and shut the door behind me, hoping I could get away from the furious shouting of my mother to come back.

I pulled out my phone to scroll to the contact of the only person I really wanted to talk to, trying to keep my hands still long enough to tap out a text:

Me - ugh I hate it here at home right now

Layla - Are you okay?

Me - Said I wanted to go to the open mic and she flipped out. She said my reputation would go out the window if people found out who I was.

Layla - I hope you know that that's so untrue. College is full of accepting people, that's part of why I wanted to go out west too, get into a more queer-friendly environment

Me - Thanks <3 logically I know that the only people's opinions I really care about are you and Erin and you're both great, but it's hard not to internalize what she says anyways

Layla - I'm always in your corner. If you want I could do a song for you at the open mic if you can still make it?

Me - Oh I'm going to that event, I don't care what my mom says. Looking forward to hearing you <3

Me - Also is it cool if I ask if Erin wants to come along? I could really use another supportive presence there when I inevitably cry at whatever song you'll do, and she's been wanting to meet you anyway

Me - If you're okay with it

Layla - Yeah that's okay!

I sighed and slid my phone back into my pocket. Was I really ready to be out? Layla and Erin seemed to deal with it so effortlessly, and yet here I was agonizing over every word I said. I made my way back home, this time merely adopting a deferential attitude in the hopes that I could get through another night without saying anything I'd regret.

~~~

"Hey, you okay?" Erin asked as we walked towards the school, noticing my nervous attitude.

I tried my best to smile back. "Well, I told my parents that I was going to a college prep info session, so I'm anxious for that excuse to hold up, and also Layla told me that she has some sort of surprise planned for tonight so I don't know what all that's about," I explained.

Making our way to the auditorium, we found seats in the small cafe-style arrangement they'd done up for the night. A fake candle sat in the middle of each table and a card showed the setlist. Layla was set to go last, and I smiled. With how coy she'd been about this surprise, of course she'd find a way to make it dramatic.

A person that I vaguely recognized as a teacher made their way to a mic, quietly adjusting it. "Hello, McDonald students and community! My name is Ms. Bailey, I use she/they pronouns, and I teach drama here on top of being the teacher coordinator for the GSA at our school. The students you'll hear from tonight are members of the 2SLGBTQ+ community and are happy to share their takes on the theme of the night, 'Queer Joy'. We hope you enjoy our performances!" Ms. Bailey sat down to yield the stage to the first singer of the night, and for once I could just relax. I didn't have to hide who I was in this space, I could just be.

The first performer came to the stage and introduced herself like Ms. Bailey had done before her, sitting down at a piano before launching into a song I didn't recognize. After a bevy of talented performances from so many diverse performers, it was her turn at last. I was fully dialed in, not even caring if anyone noticed the way I was looking at her.

"You really care about her, don't you?" said Erin, who had clearly noticed the expression on my face. It was a question that didn't need an answer, it was plain as day.

My amazing girlfriend walked to the stage and slung her guitar strap over her back, settling into a chair and doing some last-minute tuning. "Hey, folks, my name is Layla, I use she/her pronouns. I transferred here in the middle of senior year and didn't expect to open up much or make friends, but I ended up pleasantly surprised by someone I got really close to. This song's for her."

Taking a deep breath, she played the opening chords to a song I didn't recognize before her familiar voice entered my soul. I hung onto every word, wanting to absorb the meaning of everything she sang:

But if you fall in love with a girl

She'll make you feel like the world is on your shoulder

When you're holding her hand

The first time that you kiss, you smell lilacs on her lips

And when you need a little space

You know that she'll understand

Even though I hadn't heard the song before, my heart just parted to let her sweet words into my mind. Erin reached over and put her arm around me, guiding me through the emotions of what I was hearing and feeling. I was thankful for the support as I probably would have simply burst into tears on my own, and then I heard the next lines:

I heard you fell in love with a girl

She makes you feel like the world is on your shoulder

When you're over your head

She'll love you carefully, drawing letters on the beach

And you finally found a place where you don't have to pretend

I couldn't deny it anymore. All of the self-doubt and stress that I'd been feeling around trying to maintain appearances just melted away when I was with her, I just felt safe. I had found someone to share the authentic parts of myself with, and everything about it just felt right. The last chords of the song faded into the air, leaving behind one realization: I was in love with one Layla Chen.

The silence of this single thought was replaced by applause, and for the closing remarks Layla found her way back to sit next to me. She mentioned that she hadn't done so before because she was nervous about wanting to get the performance exactly right, and I was only too happy to ease those nerves and congratulate her with a kiss. While this environment wasn't the exact representation of the real world, I didn't care if anyone in here saw.

"Layla, you were amazing!" I exclaimed when she met us outside the auditorium after the show had wrapped up. "I hadn't heard of that song before, but now I don't know if I can stop listening to it."

"Thanks, sweetheart. I see your friend came out to the music night too?"

"Yeah! That was Erin, my friend that I was telling you about. She just had to run to the washroom, but you can meet her when she gets back," I explained. "If you want to, of course," I quickly added.

"It's okay! If you trust her enough to come out, then she'll be chill like you."

Erin came back and had nothing but praise for Layla's performance, and I couldn't hide my smile seeing my best friend and my girlfriend chatter on. For the first time in a long while, I didn't need to pretend to be someone I wasn't and someone close to me was finally seeing who I really was. We stayed like that, talking and laughing, until the school staff finally shooed us outside to close up.

"We should meet again, do something fun sometime," Erin had proposed, always the confident social butterfly. "I'd really like to get to know the girl who captured my best friend's heart."

"I'd like that too," Layla smiled back. "Got your phone?" Erin handed it over and she quickly added her number and sent herself a text like she had with me so many weeks ago. "We'll see you on Monday? Maybe you can join us for lunch."

"That would be good!" Erin agreed in that same bubbly tone. "Rochelle will probably try and start the rumour mill, but I'm done caring what anyone else in this place thinks. Right, Sarah?"

The question caught me slightly off guard and I tried to act natural. "Right! Yeah, we've got your back, and maybe she won't get too on our shit with how high school social politics work or whatever."

Fortunately, Layla didn't seem to pick up on my hesitation. "I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy," she quipped in a deadpan voice. "There's a Mean Girls quote for every occasion." And with that, any tension that existed was now broken, and we bid Erin goodbye with a laugh and a hug.

We were walking back to the parking lot-Layla had just gotten her license and a used vehicle and needed to transport her guitar-when she said something unexpected. "My parents went out of town to visit a friend, so I'm at home by myself tonight. Want to sleep over?" She said it in such an innocently sexy way, and I couldn't help but agree. I sent my mom a quick text saying I was staying over at a friend's to study for an exam-gotta keep up that cover story-and slid into the passenger seat of her car.

The ride home had an air of anticipation about it. We chatted more about the performances at the open mic night, and I appreciated that some of the performers were like me and hadn't discovered their identities until later in adolescence. It put my mind at ease to know that I wasn't the only person who had thought they were straight before having their eyes opened a little later in their journey.

When we got home, Layla had barely gotten the guitar back onto its stand in her room before our lips crashed together, the passion we'd felt at the music night finally being released. We'd talked about this somewhat ever since that first night we'd shared together and had agreed we wanted to wait for the right moment, and well, this seemed like that moment. I reached behind her head just enough so she could feel the pressure and felt her moan softly into the kiss, a sound that only deepened the urge to give her everything she wanted.

In the haze of our making out we didn't notice we were walking back into her bed and she fell back onto it with a giggle. Layla was so beautiful like this with her dress spilling out around her and I wanted to enjoy every inch of her body. Remembering our first night together, I planted a soft trail of kisses down her cheek to her neck, and when I felt her arms clench around my back I knew I'd found the spot.

"Sarah, please," I heard in a breathy tone.

"Please what?" I responded slyly. "I need to hear you say what you want if I am to give it to you," I continued, putting on a fake air of formality to lighten the mood.

"I want to see you, all of you," she whispered back, a request just for me. Obliging, I leaned back to pull my shirt over my head, seeing Layla's expression as I did. I had been, uh, blessed in certain aspects, and this was one of them.

"May I?" she timidly said as I obliged with a nod, and she reached out to gently run her hand over my breast. She slid one finger under my bra and I felt an electric sensation shoot through me as she found my nipple, and I couldn't help but let out a moan in response. Layla was gentle, letting us dictate the pace, and I wanted this to last forever.

Layla sat up with me in her lap and looked deeply into my eyes. "I want to show you something, if you'll let me," she offered, and I nodded. My girlfriend was full of surprises, but I knew that whatever she was thinking of would be done with care and love. She reached behind my back and I felt the clasp of my bra fall away, then leaned into me and took my breast into her mouth.

The sensation of warmth was instant and I would have fallen backwards if Layla hadn't had her arms around me. Her tongue ran slow, tentative circles around my nipple, eliciting sounds of passion, before she closed her lips around it while stroking my other nipple with her free hand. "Fuck, Layla," I moaned, entirely taken by the sensation of her mouth on me. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer, and when I felt Layla intensify her ministrations on my chest I knew she was enjoying this just as much as I was.

We broke apart and I gazed into the full, brown eyes of my lover. "You good?" Layla asked breathlessly, and I just smiled back at her.

"That was amazing. I didn't know I could feel like that," I replied.

"Do you want to keep going? I've been dreaming about this for a long time and I want it to be amazing," she asked.

"I'd like that. Although I think you might be a little overdressed at the moment," I answered with a giggle.

"Oh. Right." Layla clambered off me to stand up, pulling her dress over her head as she went, and my mouth ran dry at the sight. She wore a simple black bra and panties that matched her hair perfectly and hid her smaller chest.

I reached out to take her hand and pull her back to me. "You're so beautiful, Layla," I breathed as I ran my hands down her sides, and then her mouth was back on mine and I felt the softness of a pillow behind my head as she laid me down on her bed.

"You too,"

Layla returned her attention to my breast before moving downward with teasing kisses. My breath quickened and I felt my centre getting warmer at the sensation. She was taking her time with each movement, letting me savour every last touch. Her lips ventured past my stomach and paused as she curled a finger around the waistband of my shorts, looking up at me for permission.

I nodded, giving my answer and adjusting my legs so that she could pull them off me. Even though I didn't have any experience with guys to compare this to, I was marveled by how gentle she was with every touch and gaze, never treating me like anything other than the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen.

"You're so beautiful," Layla whispered as she settled back between my legs. She tentatively ran a finger over my soaked panties, eliciting a gasp from me as she did. I had touched myself before, but having someone else doing it to me was something else entirely. "Sarah?" she asked tentatively. "Can I touch you?"

I reached down to run my hand through her long hair. "Of course, sweetheart," I affirmed. Layla slowly pulled my panties aside, and time seemed to stop as she finally stroked a finger over my pussy.

"Oh my god!" I almost screamed at the touch, thankful that we were alone so nobody else could hear my passionate reaction. My girlfriend languidly explored my pussy with her hand, teasing my clit and sending my breath ever higher before pulling away, leaving me a moaning, writhing mess. Layla pulled back and planted kisses on the inside of my thighs, slowly working her way back up my body. My pussy felt like it was on fire, and all I wanted right now was to give myself over to my talented lover's hands.

Layla's kisses continued up my body until she reached her goal, peppering feather-soft touches around me before slowly reaching out to stroke my clit. I let out a moan and squeezed her free hand as my body reacted to the new sensation. She seemed to take this as a sign of success and at last dove in, plunging her tongue into my dripping sex. "Fuck yes!" I cried in ecstasy. Though this was both of our first times, she knew exactly how to hit the spots with her fingers and tongue to bring me higher and higher. Her hand left my clit and I whimpered at the loss of touch there, only to be replaced with a feeling of fullness as she slid a finger, and then a second, into me.

The feeling of fullness made me cry out in surprise, but once that feeling had subsided I couldn't help but rock my hips back into her fingers, wanting to feel her inside me as much as I could. I felt myself climbing higher and higher to the peak of the mountain and the thought of etiquette during sex crept into my head. All the while Layla's mouth worked her magic with me, giving teasing little licks around the spot I really wanted her attention on before delivering pure bliss.