Falling for Grace Pt. 08

"Are you serious, aunt Lorraine? You'd do that for me, or for us?"

"Absolutely, sweetheart. We don't rent it out usually. We don't need the income. But for our favorite nephew..."

"Your only nephew" I said with a small grin.

"OK, our only nephew, we'd gladly do it. Columbia is 15-20 minutes walk and subway ride, NYU is a bit longer. You do your first semesters in your dorms, then if everything is working out, we could have that apartment all fixed up and furnished by August. And Lisa and Cassie would love it. You see how they've taken to Grace? Think it over and talk to her. I know my sister might give you some grief, but I'll get her to come around."

"I wouldn't worry. She let us go to Europe for a few weeks, and she let her sleep over in my room...well, the other nights. Mom has changed a lot in the last eight months. Dad did too. They both love, um loved, Grace." I was tearing up again.

She put her arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek. "I know it hurts, sweetie. I know. I know my sister is in a lot of pain. You and Evelyn. You know how much we love all of you. I'm going to stay until Saturday, but your uncle and cousins have to go home tomorrow. School and all, but we're coming back next week for Thanksgiving, so we'll all be together."

"I'm not feeling very thankful right about now, aunt Lorraine. I doubt mom or Ev are either."

"Probably not. All the more reason we spend it together. And Grace and her brothers and Edina are all invited. We'll cater it so Edina can enjoy as a friend."

I hugged my sweet, loving, kind as can be aunt. She and my mom were really cut from the same cloth. "Thank you for everything. Thanks for staying with us for a while."

"Nonsense. My pleasure. Let's go back in with everyone before they think we've run off together" she joked. We went back to the table and I felt a little better. I held Grace's hand under the table and my nieces, sitting next to me on the other side, giggled like the tweenaged girls they were. They were great kids and they really did take to Grace.

She whispered in my ear "You look better than you have the last few days."

I whispered back "I'll tell you about it when I take you home later. It's a good thing."

After a few hours together with everyone, people were getting tired. Uncle Bernie and the girls had to get ready to go home to New York and Grace and I wanted a little alone time, just to talk. It's not like we would have much privacy without going to a motel room and that was not really something we wanted to do then. So I told my mom and sister I'd be home in couple of hours and I Grace and I got in my car.

"Pull over somewhere, Henry. Anywhere. We need to talk." Not upset, just matter of fact. I pulled over on a quiet side street, like that first night we went out. But this night was not going to end with sex.

"Baby" she started, "there's something you need to know. And then we have to have a very serious discussion. Your friend Chris is not much of a friend. In fact, he's a shit."

I was shocked to hear her say such a thing. "Gracie, what are you talking about? He came home from 600 miles to be here for me this weekend. That's a pretty good friend as far as I'm concerned."

"Well, he came for the funeral, but he tried to stay for something else. He called me this morning. I don't know how he got my number, maybe from Cynthia somehow, but anyway, he told me you cheated on me last night. He didn't say with whom, no details, but he told me that. Then he tried to come over to my house to, and I quote, 'cheer me up'. I think he's a creep. But that's the smaller problem. The big one, and I need you to be honest with me, is I need to know if you cheated on me last night."

I looked at her, the woman I loved more than anything, her eyes already welling with tears, and I knew lying was not an option. I couldn't make a bad situation even worse. She'd know and that would be the end of everything.

"Yes I did. I cheated on you and I've been beating myself up for it. My mom and sister know and I can't tell you how disappointed they both are in me, though not more than I am in myself.

Tears were leaking down her cheeks but she wasn't sobbing. "Henry, how could you? If you needed comfort, why didn't you just come to me? Do you think I would have turned you away at any hour with what is going on? I couldn't have had sex with you with my mother home, but this wasn't really about sex, was it? It was about needing to feel good."

"Gracie..."

"Uh uh. You don't get to call me Gracie, or honey or Dirty Girl or anything sweet or sexy right now. Don't even go there. Do I want to know what you did, or who you did?"

"Probably not. I don't want to further hurt you, Grace. I care about you too much to do that."

"Do you, Henry? How much could you really care about me if you did this? If someone had said you would cheat on me, I would have told them they have their head up their ass. Not Henry, no way. He's not capable of doing that to me. But I feel like a fool for thinking that now." There was more anger in her now.

"Grace, I don't know what to say. I could blame it on being drunk but I'm not going to do that. The truth is I'm feeling pretty self destructive. I destroyed my golf clubs, you saw that, a gift from my father. And I destroyed them. I think I'm in trouble, Grace. Like I'm falling apart and I'm destroying everything good about me. I promised my mother and sister I'm never going to cheat on you again, and I mean it. I feel like garbage right now." I sat miserably, but I refused to cry. I couldn't expect that kind of sympathy from her right then.

"Henry, I'm not going to break up with you. If this happened under any other circumstances I would. I'd never talk to you again. And I'd be heartbroken for a long time. I'm hurt, badly hurt, but I understand you weren't you when you did it. So I'm going to give you another chance. But it's not just going to be forgive and forget. First condition is you go back to therapy. As soon as you can. Call her tomorrow and tell her what's going on. She'll get you in. No therapy, we're done. Second condition is no sex for a while. I have to get to trust you again. I don't know if it's going to take a week or a month or what. I hope it's not too long; I'm going to miss us a lot. We can go out to dinner or to talk, movies. But no sex. You have to earn my trust again. Henry, I love you, like I never thought I could love anyone. And that's why this hurts so badly. I trusted you completely. And now I don't. I'll tell you, I'm not going to tell my mom. She'd be so angry, she might quit working for your family, and that would be awful for both families. So I'll just tell her we had a big fight and I don't want to talk about what we fought about. So she'll be pissed around you. But she'll get over it. The big question is, will I?"

We were both crying now but I didn't think I had the right to hold her. I hurt her so deep to her soul. I had to do things as she wanted. And she was right.

"I'll call my doctor tomorrow afternoon. We have a meeting with dad's partners in the morning, but I'll call as soon as we get home, I promise. And the other condition will be just as you say. I'll be your friend and boyfriend, but nothing happens unless you're ready. Grace, I'm sorry. I wish I could say something else that would make this better. But that doesn't exist. I have to hope time and love heal us. And I do love you, Grace. More than I could believe either. This love we share has to be worth saving. I have to believe it."

"Henry, you can call me Gracie. Because I still love you so much and I love hearing you call me that. It has no sexual context, just love. Just don't push me into more than I'm prepared to give. And expect there to be times when I'm angry at you. And do yourself a favor: get rid of Chris. He's a snake, thinking with that trouser snake of his."

"He's gone, count on it. But it doesn't make what I did to you any less reprehensible."

"No it doesn't. But it's a start. You'd better take me home now."

We went the rest of the way in silence. It was actually awkward between us, something we never felt before in all the months we'd been together. That made me understand the full damage I had done to us.

I pulled up by her house and we sat there uncomfortably. "Well, good night, Henry. I love you, I do. Call the doctor tomorrow, and call me after that." She went to get out of the car.

"Wait, Gracie. One minute.' She closed the door and looked at me. "May I kiss you goodnight? Not like we often kiss. More like sweet. If you can."

"Baby...Oh, shit, kiss me," I leaned over and kissed her lips gently, easy, and it just naturally got more passionate. We were kissing more like we did most of the time when she broke the kiss suddenly and said "No, not yet, Henry. I want to, but you need to earn the right again." She got out of the car and shut the door much harder than she usually did. I heard her sobbing as she ran up her steps, and I ached almost as bad as I did for my father.

I drove home and I told mom and Evelyn what happened and this time they

both had no disappointment, only sympathy for me. I cried again, this time over Grace. It seemed my life was defined by my crying fits. I told them I was going to call my therapist in the next afternoon.

"I think that's a good idea, Henry. We don't want you turning into someone you're not. I'm worried about you. A lot is falling on your shoulders. Even more than Evelyn's. Son, it's one of the reasons you have to go away to school like planned. So you can still be young. So you can still be a teenager. You have your whole life to grow up and be an adult. That's for later in life. Not for now."

My mom's eyes, for the first time since my dad died, looked at me with something other than distress or disappointment. She looked at me with soft eyes. with sympathy and love. I hugged her tight. I just loved her so much.

The next morning, the three of us met with with the executive board of my father's law firm. They explained that the options we had were pretty much two: We could take a one time buyout based on a formula having to do with his equity in the firm and his bonus share each year, plus other factors or we could keep getting his partner bonuses for the next 5 years, after which there would be a smaller automatic payout. Vince, dad's friend, suggested we hire an outside lawyer to represent our interests; no lawyer at his firm could do so because it would have been a conflict of interest. We agreed to meet again the December 15 after we hired our own lawyer and they had a chance to look over the case.

We went home and I called my therapist, who called me back a little later. I told her about my father and some of my concerns. She made an opening for me the next day, Tuesday, at 2PM and Thursday at 11AM. I booked the appointments and felt a little bit better. With mom and Evelyn next to me, I called the insurance companies and gave the numbers for dad's policies. Those meant we'd be worth an additional 2 million each when they paid out. Evelyn and I both had large nest eggs to start us out in life, and mom had a nice amount to add to her already nice sized fortune. None of us would, or should, ever have to worry about money unless we did something stupid.

I called Darrell at school and I told him how Chris had turned out to be a scumbag. It wasn't so much that he told Grace what I had done, although that was fucked up and against a 'code' guys have and I assume girls have as well. But the fact that he tried to use it to get over on Grace was really sleazy.

"That fuck. Always thinking with that monster of his. Fuck him, Henry. He's dead to us. I'm sorry, man. Grace is the best, and I hope she can get to a place where she can fully forgive you. You two are the best couple I know. That's why I was trying to stop you."

"I know. It's my fuck up. Even with what Chris did, I have only myself to blame. But man, I miss her. It's not going to be the sex. Well, it will, but what I'm really going to miss is the sense of closeness. That kind of intimacy and the way we can communicate. There's no one like her, not for me."

We commiserated a little longer, then I had to let him go so he could get to a class. He promised to call in a few days to check on me. He was the best. 40 years later he's still my closest friend in the world, even though we live almost a thousand miles apart.

I called Grace next, and she was glad to hear I had two appointments that week and agreed to go out with me on Friday night. "We'll take it from there, baby. But I can't see you every day right now. How's my mom been to you?"

"OK. I only saw her a few minutes this morning and I've been in my room most of the day since we got home, except when I called dad's insurance carriers. That was from his office. We have to go through that tomorrow. Just mom and I; Evelyn has to go back to school tonight." It hit me that it would just be mom and me for the most part over the next year. Ev wouldn't be around a lot. At least aunt Lorraine would stay the rest of that week before going home, then they were coming back Wednesday for Thanksgiving.

We talked a little more and it was comfortable between us, even laughing a few times together. When we said goodbye, the I love you's were warm. I was feeling hopeful.

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Evelyn and a few of her friends who were in school locally. Mom puttered around the house and Edina was doing her work. It felt almost normal, which felt ridiculous in its way.

Evelyn had to leave after dinner. She had a two hour ride back to Columbia (S,C.) and we didn't want her driving while she was exhausted. It was a very tearful goodbye for all three of us, four if you add aunt Lorraine. Ev said to me "Take care of yourself, little brother. I don't call you that much any more. But right now I'm feeling very big sisterly about you. You and mom look after each other." She gave me a huge hug with a kiss on the cheek, and I returned it. It was hard for her to leave and hard for us to say goodbye.

That night, around 9, my phone rang, and it was Grace. I was thrilled; I hadn't expected her to call.

Our talk was warm and almost like every normal conversation we ever had. After a while, she said "Baby, you want to come and hang out for a while? I'm missing you very much. Mom's asleep; we'll be alone for a few hours."

I wanted to. I really, really wanted to. "Gracie, I'd love to, more than anything. But maybe we should wait until Friday to see each other. You're thinking with your heart, maybe with your body, but I don't want you to regret it later."

Grace was quiet for a few seconds that seemed like an eternity. "Dammit, you're right. This is another reason I'm angry with you. I still love you, I still want you. I would love to go to that motel for a few hours so we can be alone and make love or go crazy together. We still have lingerie from Paris we haven't worn yet. And I have to deprive myself as well as you because I have my pride, which has been wounded. Damn you, Henry. You can't imagine how hard this all is."

She sounded so sad. I swore to myself if she gave me another chance I would worship her and love her, and never hurt her again. And some months down the road, when all was right with us, I'd ask her to marry me. I knew I felt that way for some time. Now I was sure. If only.

"Gracie, I'm sorry. I just can't say it any other way. If I ask Greta (my therapist), would you come with me to my Thursday morning appointment? I think it could help if we went to a couple of appointments together."

"That's a great idea. I would do that. Baby, I want to save us, I really do. And I appreciate you being strong about this, not taking advantage of my moment of weakness. Hold on a second." I heard her moving with the phone and a door closing. "Baby, I'm in my room now. Gus still won't be home for a couple of hours, mom's asleep and we're alone, so to speak. Make love to me, like this. Talking. I really do need you. I need to feel good and I need to make you feel good."

"Honey, are you sure you want to do this? Again, I don't want to take advantage."

"You're not. I want this. I want more, actually, but I think this is best for now. Take off your clothes, like you're trying to excite me. I'm there with you, baby. I'm watching you."

I was hard already from her voice and her desire. "I'm unbuttoning my shirt, honey. Slowly. You can watch while my hairy chest is exposed. Now I'm taking off my pants, pulling them down my legs, stepping out, wearing a plain pair of white briefs. But you know what? My cock is straining in my briefs. You can see it outlined in the tight cotton."

I heard her breathing. soft, rhythmic breathing that was getting deeper. "Baby, you get me so wet. I took off my shirt and I'm rubbing my tits in my bra. It's a black sheer material so you can see my soft, brown tits and my hard nipples. The material is a fine mesh so it's scraping my very sensitive nipples and it's all I can do not to cry out loud. Fuck it, I've got to get this bra off. Hold on," she said, putting the phone down a moment while she got her bra off, then again "Oh that feels much better. I'm pinching my nipples, thinking of your lips on my breasts. Kiss them, baby. Kiss them all over."

"I am, honey. My lips are all over you, covering those big, lovely tits with my lips and my tongue. I love tasting your slightly salty skin. It just makes me hungrier for you. I'm swirling my tongue all over your nipples and sucking them hard. Do you want me to bite them gently?"

"Yes, definitely. Suck and bite them. You know just how hard." Grace was breathless, it was like she was blowing into my ear and I was shaking all over. "That's it, baby, I love your mouth on me."

"I'm pausing to kiss your lips, soft kisses to start, then bigger and bigger, my tongue darting in and out of your mouth. I love how you taste."

"Your kisses are setting me on fire, baby. Help me get my pants off. As fast as you can. I want you to see my matching panties. You can see my pussy through the mesh."

In my mind I was pulling off her clothes, and threw her pants to the floor. "Oh, honey, you look so sexy in just your panties. I love looking at you, my beautiful lady.

I wish you could see how hard I am for you right now. I could hammer nails with this thing."

"I can see you, baby. I know what you look like naked, every inch of you. Let me just slip off these panties, thinking about you taking them off with your teeth."

"Oh, god, Gracie, I would love to do that. I can smell your sweet pussy now, my nose going past as your panties come down, right through your soft bush. I might have to stop and take a few long licks."

"Fuck, baby" she wailed softly as she had an orgasm. I could sense her shivering through her climax, see her tits shake and her thighs rub against my cheeks. I wished I was there so badly. "Keep going, baby."

"I'd toss those panties on top of your pants and lick at your inner thighs, scooping up your sweet juice. I love your taste and your scent; I can never get enough." I could hear her panting with lust and I was stroking my cock as softly as I could to make it feel good without getting over excited. "I'd lap up every drop of you, honey. I'd get your juices all over my chin and neck."

"Henry, get that cock inside me now!" Grace said as loud as she dared. "I'm spreading my legs wide for you! Put it deep in my pussy!"

"Finger yourself, imagining my dick all the way inside you. God, my cock is twitching already, flexing inside your hot, sticky pussy. I'm jerking it hard thinking about fucking you, putting your legs on my shoulders. My sexy, lovely, Gracie."

"Oh, Henry!!" She muffled her cries with a pillow as she came hard again. This was hot, sexy, but it just made me wish I was with her even more. My hand was flying on my cock and I told her.