by confused_girl
So analyzing the story It seems like both of the women are lusting for one another .. Which is ok right but when the pizza delivery guy hits on the wife , oh now its male bashing time and that male stereotype is stamp on the poor guy lesbian writers love to compound to put the male down .. Never speaking on how the dyke is going twice as hard to turn the female gay.. they do more lusting then the men , that's funny they only throw the man under the bus .. As matter of fact yall try to make the lesbian look more natural for women ... good story but try not throwing men under the bus it reminds me of a wanna be a man but I'm not one attitude
I really enjoyed this first chapter. Looking forward to reading the next three.
I like the story so far, it looks like it can develop into a very deep love story
thank you, there are more chapters. I was so bracing myself for this to be a solo story.
The story is enchanting. I've got to go read the next chapter.
Good writing is not just a set of skills. I think it is a gift. Thank you for sharing yours.
I love this whole series...I look forward to future chapters and seeing where the story & characters go....love what you've done so far :) please continue!
Great lead in to this story, I can't wait to read the next chapter. Keep on writing, you're great.
very good start with an interesting twist. kudos
I like the story so far :-) You could use an editor, but thankfully the typos weren't too distracting. I could be wrong, but maybe English isn't your first language. Anyway, l hope you continue this plot soon.
The grammar, editing, and sometimes even the flow (possibly due to grammar errors) were rather poor. (The typo in the one sentence description is laziness.)
The story itself was pretty passable, but there was nothing that particularly distinguishes this as a "great" story in my opinion. As far as plot devices and build up, it's very run of the mill and didn't particularly stick in my mind as something overly notable. It was overall a decent read, and best of luck with your future submissions.
Your story has me aching for more....so I hope you take that as a compliment. Good work.
if this is the ending it suckd but good n should a part2...but good story keep doin ya thing 4 real
Hope we get more with these girls. Extra points for an original idea.
Keep up the good work!
Thanks,
Doc
I like the women, dislike the husband, so far...... But given the genre, I suppose that's too be expected. Wouldn't mind a bit more background on them all, particularly the protagonist.
It's a good set-up and I'm looking forward to more.
I can't wait to read the next chapter. Don't leave us hanging too long.
OMG great built up to this story... Please don't leave me hanging to long for the rest of this story :))