Fallout 04: Choices

"I'm going to fight this, you know," she growled.

"Suit yourself," Nick said. And fight, she did. She filed motions that went nowhere and demanded counseling, which the judge reluctantly agreed to order. I was shocked when Nick told me.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Judge Potter hates cheaters and loves cops. Kirsten thinks she's in the driver's seat, but in reality she's giving Nikki just enough rope to hang herself."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Chances are, Nikki won't show up for the counseling session," he said. "Judge Potter hates it when people don't obey his orders. When that happens, he'll probably issue a bench warrant for her arrest."

"Now that I'd like to see," I told him. I showed up at the court-appointed counselor's office right on time and of course, Nikki wasn't there. I knew the counselor, Judy McGregor, as she was the police counselor who worked with me after I had been shot. We spent the hour catching up, and she listened as I told my story.

"So, I take it there's no way you can see yourself reconciling with your wife?" she asked.

"None whatsoever," I said.

"Alright," she said. "I'll make a note of that, along with her absence, to the judge. Good luck, Ned. It was good seeing you again." From what Nick told me later, Judge Potter was livid that Nikki disobeyed his order and issued a bench warrant for her arrest. He told me the warrant was good for five years.

We continued monitoring her ATM usage, and noticed that while most of her activity was in the Long Beach area, she did use it in San Francisco a few times and in San Diego. She was quite busy, it seemed.

At the same time, I performed a search and found a few short videos featuring her. I could only stand to watch them for a few minutes, and I noticed they all had the same theme. In one, for example, she had sex with two men while another man, presumably her "husband," was tied up on the floor and forced to watch. After the men fucking her filled her with their semen, she went to the poor sucker tied up on the floor and rubbed her cum-filled pussy all over his face while laughing. I nearly threw up when I realized that this was what she probably wanted to do to me.

Finally, our court date was set. I met Nick at the courthouse and we went inside. Looking around, I could see Kirsten, but there was no sign of Nikki. I wasn't surprised. When it was our turn to approach the bench, Nick and I took our place and watched as Kirsten sat alone at her table. Judge Potter wasn't happy to see her by herself.

"And where is your client?" he asked.

"She's indisposed at the moment," Kirsten said.

"Indisposed?" Judge Potter asked. "What the hell does that mean?"

"She's on location right now," Kirsten added.

"On location?" the judge asked. "She's a porn actress for crying out loud. What, there's no beds in this town? Is her work more important than this divorce?"

"She simply couldn't get away, your honor," Kirsten said. Judge Potter let out a heavy sigh and contemplated the paperwork in front of him.

"Very well," he said. "In light of this, I will issue yet another bench warrant and I am prepared to rule on the divorce before the court today."

"But your honor, we still have motions to present," Kirsten said.

"I've seen all I need to see, counselor," the judge said, clearly irritated. He looked at both sides before proceeding.

"Although there are guidelines that govern what the court may award, the fact is that in this state, the bench has a great deal of leeway in determining the division of marital assets," he said. "In my deliberations, I have assessed both sides in this dispute. On one hand is a highly-decorated former police officer who nearly lost his life protecting a 70-year-old grandmother. On the other hand is a woman whose attorney admits that she is a drug-abusing porn actress who deliberately betrayed and abandoned her husband to pursue her depraved lifestyle. On top of that, she's doing work for one of, if not the, most notorious amateur pornographers in the business.

"And from what I understand, counselor, you had a hand in facilitating some of your client's activities. I must say, that disturbs me greatly. I consulted with the State Bar, and they tell me there's no ethical violations, although you came awful close to crossing the line. I advise you to be more careful in the future.

"After reading all the filings and the counselor's report, I feel I have no choice but to grant the plaintiff's petition for divorce as filed," he said, pounding his gavel. "Good luck, Mr. Carson, and thank you for your service to this community," he added. I looked at Nick in surprise.

"Did we just win?" I asked. He smiled as he looked at me.

"We sure did," he said, shaking my hand. "Congratulations, Ned, you're a free man now." Kirsten gathered her things and walked over to us.

"Congratulations, Ned," she said, extending a hand. "You got your pound of flesh. I hope you're happy now." I accepted her hand and shook it. I knew that losing a case like this wasn't easy for her.

"No, I'm not happy," I said. "I haven't been happy for quite a while." I pulled a DVD out of my briefcase and handed it to her. "You once said if I have anything to pass on to Nikki to let you know. Here's my final message to her. You can look at it if you wish, I don't care. I also have a cashier's check for her portion of our account. I closed it out late yesterday afternoon."

"I'll get this to her," she said quietly. "What's on the DVD, by the way?"

"Nothing much," I said. "Just a little message for her." In fact, it was more than just a little message. The previous day, I pulled a 50-gallon drum into the back yard and set up a camera on a tripod. As the camera recorded, I filled the barrel with all of the clothes she left behind, including her $2,500 wedding dress, all of the pictures I had that included her image and a number of little trinkets she had collected over the years.

I even broke up the wedding portrait that hung over our bed and crammed it into the barrel. I doused everything in the barrel with lighter fluid and set it on fire. As it burned, I spoke into the camera.

"Nikki," I began. "There was a time when I would've taken a bullet for you. I loved you with all my heart the whole time we were together, and I had hopes that we could have grown old together. Unfortunately, you had other plans, so that's not going to happen.

"I've seen some of your 'work' online and I can't help but think that's what you intended to do to me. That's not going to happen, either. Don't ask if we can ever be friends -- friends don't do what you've done. And don't ask if I'll ever forgive you because I won't. I only hope that one day you wake up and smell the coffee before it's too late. Goodbye, Nikki," I said before walking away, leaving the camera to record the final destruction of everything she left in the house.

...

Life went on post-Nikki. I redecorated the house, exorcising everything that even reminded me a little bit of my ex-wife. I continued my counseling sessions with Rose and worked out at the gym three days a week. I even followed the diet plan we put together and tossed my cigarettes in the trash. A couple months later, I weighed myself and found that I was now at 185 pounds. I still had a ways to go, but I was feeling better than I had in a long time. The only thing I lacked was the female companionship I once had with Nikki.

Then it happened. I was at the local market buying some groceries when I ran into her -- literally. It was an accident -- I wasn't watching where I was going and bumped into her with my cart. When I realized what I had done, I apologized profusely and came face-to-face with the most lovely smile one can imagine.

Talk about being disarmed! For a second, I forgot to breathe. Then I introduced myself, and noticed she wasn't wearing any rings. She accepted my apology and told me her name was Brenda Wilkins. We got to talking and somehow, I managed to invite her out to dinner. Much to my surprise, she accepted.

As it turned out, Brenda was a widowed doctor. Her husband and young son were killed in an auto accident a few years before as they were returning from a father-son camping trip. I offered my condolences and told her about my divorce from Nikki. Somewhere in all that, I mentioned my diabetes and what the medications had done to me. She nodded her head in understanding.

"I've run into that before," she said. "Listen, why don't you come by my office with your meds and let's see what we can do about that." I made the appointment and brought in all my medications. She was shocked when she saw everything. After taking some blood, she suggested making several changes, and I could feel the difference almost immediately. Of course, she explained, my diet and exercise had a lot to do with it. And giving up the cigarettes was a huge help.

The first time we slept together, I felt like a whole new man. And for the first time in over two years, I felt content. The next morning, when I woke up to Brenda's pretty face, I knew there was no way I could give this up. She smothered my face with kisses when I asked her to marry me.

After the wedding, we sold our homes, pooled our money and bought a new home in a recently-developed tract. We both decided that it would be nice to have a fresh start with nothing to remind us of the past.

A little more than a year after we married, Brenda gave birth to twins, a boy, Christopher, and a girl, Julie. Life went on the Carson household, and I found that I enjoyed being a father. One day, about ten years after we married, there was a knock on the door. I opened the door and saw Kirsten standing on the porch. She looked like she had been through a wringer.

"Ned, it's good to see you again," she said.

"Good to see you, Kirsten," I answered. "Please, come in." She walked in and looked around. I invited her to sit down and introduced her to Brenda and the kids. "So, what brings you here, Kirsten?" I asked.

"It's Nikki," she said. "You were right about Ramon."

"Oh?" I asked. "What happened?"

"It took about five years, but he eventually used her up just like you said he would," she told us. "She ended up on the streets turning tricks to support her habit. Unfortunately, prostitutes her age don't fare too well on the street for very long. She managed on her own for quite a while, but she eventually ran out of money and became homeless.

"She was found unconscious in an alleyway and taken to a rehab center. I found out a few months ago and had her brought here. She's got cancer and it doesn't look like she'll last much longer."

"I thought you said you'd never let her get to that point," I said. "What happened?"

"We lost touch with each other about six years ago," she said. "The authorities in Los Angeles contacted me and I flew out to see her. She doesn't look good."

"I'm sorry to hear that," I said. "So, what do you want from us?"

"She wants closure," Kirsten said. "She wants to see you one last time. I know you don't think too highly of her or for me, but I was hoping you could find it in your heart to see her one last time. Please." This was new -- Kirsten asking for a favor. I looked at Brenda and saw concern in her face.

"What do you think?" I asked her.

"Kirsten's right, dear," she said. "She needs closure. And frankly, so do you. How bad is the cancer?" she asked Kirsten.

"It's bad," Kirsten replied. "It's spread through most of her body by now. Doctors said if they had caught it much earlier, they might have been able to deal with it, but it's too advanced by now. They say she could live another few months, or another few hours."

"Okay," I said. "I'll go see her."

"I'll come with you," Brenda said. I agreed and pulled out my phone to arrange for a babysitter. Carla, a teenage girl who lived next door, often sat for us, and happened to be available. After she arrived, Brenda and I left, following Kirsten.

When we got to the hospice, Kirsten showed us to Nikki's room. I was shocked when I walked in. I didn't even recognize her. There were a number of tubes going into her thin frail body and her face was blotchy and discolored. It was as if all the beauty she once possessed had been sucked right out of her. She opened her eyes as I stood next to her bed.

"Ned?" she croaked as a tear fell down her face. "Is that really you? You look so good."

"Yeah, it's me, Nikki," I said.

"Oh, Ned, I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "I fucked up so bad. I fucked everything up. I know you said you'd never forgive me, but I'm begging you. Please. It hurts so bad. Forgive me?" I looked at Brenda and saw a tear slide down one cheek. I knew what I had to do, and it would be the hardest thing I had ever done. I sat down and took one of her hands. It felt cold to the touch.

"It's alright, Nikki," I said. "I... forgive you." She broke down sobbing and grabbed my shirt with her other hand. I held her and let her cry on my shoulder. A few minutes later, a nurse came in, looked at her chart and injected something into her IV.

"This will help her get some sleep," she said before walking out. I looked and saw she was already falling asleep, so I put her head back on her pillow.

"Thank you for coming in," Kirsten said.

"You're welcome," I said, nodding my head. "How long will you be here?"

"I'm staying until the end," she said quietly. "I've got my laptop and I'm working remotely. I've already made all the arrangements. There won't be a memorial service. She didn't want that."

"What happened to Ramon?" I asked. She opened her purse and pulled out a folded piece of newspaper.

"After he turned her out, he recruited another girl," she said. "Her husband didn't take too kindly to that and killed him, rather brutally." I scanned the article quickly.

"The mutilated body of noted pornographer Ramon Torres was found in an abandoned Ontario warehouse Saturday morning," the article said.

"Mutilated?" I asked Kirsten.

"Yeah," she said. "From what I was told, his penis was cut off and shoved in his mouth before he was decapitated. His arms and legs were cut off and he was disemboweled."

"Ouch," I said. "And they know for a fact it was the husband who did it?"

"Yeah," she said. "He was seen walking away from the warehouse waving one of Ramon's arms. The jury found him not guilty based on temporary insanity."

"I can understand that," I said. "I felt like doing that to him myself."

"I'm sorry, Ned," she said. "For everything."

"Yeah," I said quietly.

"For what it's worth, we both felt bad after we watched that video you gave me," she said. "I never thought too much about having sex outside my marriage until I saw that video. Until then, it was just something I did to get my own gratification. After I watched that video, I had a change of heart. I never really understood how much it would hurt to be cheated on. Or how expensive it could be," she added, glancing at Nikki. "Thanks to you, I'm not the same woman I was 10 years ago."

"I'm glad to hear that, Kirsten," I said.

"Take care of yourself, Ned," she said, giving me a hug. "And take care of my former brother-in-law," she told Brenda, hugging her.

"Count on it," Brenda said, hugging her back. We left and went back to the car.

"You alright?" Brenda asked as we buckled our seat belts.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said as I started the car.

Karma -- I guess it really can be a bitch, I thought as I headed home.