All Comments on 'Family Cabin Betrayal'

Sorry but this was pretty boring. You really need more dialogue. I still gave it 4 stars because at least it wasn't another cuckold story.

Love the revenge. Keep writing.

Maybe I missed it, but if the cops searched the cabin -- obviously, they would have found Oscar's DNA on the couch and wherever else. But more importantly, they would have found the cameras that were set up. Unless I missed the removal of those cameras, they would have questioned both of them. Marie, obviously, knew nothing about the cameras - so she would have immediately suspected that her husband had them installed, and hopefully wouldn't have been brain dead enough to not put two and two together.

I just went out of my way to give 1* to every one of your pathetic, macho-drivel stories.

Sort of a cut-rate Vandemonium1. All the murder and violence wrapped in toilet paper instead of a Wal-Mart bag. You can't even stay in past or present. You're not good at writing and you're some kind of nut job in the bargain. One star.

Now that's the way you do it !

So I had to skim over the parts where she was sooo enjoying the young cock , just hoping against hope that the author wouldn't cuck out like so many here do , but my fears were laid to rest . Finally a story where the husband stands the fuck up for himself .

Author you're going to have the usual crowd giving you grief over the killing , but you know what , you may just save some young fuck's life that happens to read this .

You know the murder porn crew will sling their derisions at stories like this , but in my local paper , there have been two three way murder-suicides in this summer alone . And its not a major metropolitan area at all .

So before they choir starts warming up , just remember that people are killed daily over situations just like this . It is real life as well .

*****

And I understand that it would be next to impossible for him to let the cunt know that he already knew about the affair, let alone set the whole thing up without her basically having his future in her hands....but something still feels just a bit unfair. If only there was some way to rub her whore fucking nose in the whole situation, to let her know just what a low down piece of shit she is. Maybe he could tell her something like that, that the 27 years with her was an utter waste, that he hates her more than any other person on Earth, that he hopes the rest of her life is pure misery, and that if he had things his way he's put a second good for nothing piece of shit person in the ground. I think that might do it, that might be the extra little bit of pain that she deserves, knowing that the man she still loves utterly hates her and that she deserves his hatred. Let her live with that, if she can.

Love the nuclear bomb strategy of our wronged husband. Murder is really a bit too much for screwing his slit wife, but one should consider all possible bad endings when lustimy over another man's wife.

I loved it, The best way to stop some asshole who likes fucking someone elses wife is the ultimate punishment, Yes I love the 2nd amendment. And the government is the cheating asshole, You liberals are the dumbass husbands except your clueless

You get to pay the piper when the payment's due.

Was actually really good planning by the husband. Wasn't over the top either. Still hard for me to get over the first part of your stories as I usually resort to skimming them, but overall I like them.

If you can't do the time, Don't do the crime. Some things are carved in stone as she found out.

...how about some dialogue?

One of your best so far.

But a cabin not used or even set a foot in for 2 years would be dusty and smelling of mold. To use it for sex, she would have to clean and freshen it up, wash the curtains and linens. This would be the clou for him that she had been there and not only a shower curtain.

When the story changed to her perspective (still in 3rd person), her denial sounded strange. Any sane person would have connected the dots...

4*

. . . what did Marie take from Brad, what did she deny him?

Her affair with Oscar opened her up sexually, and she was trying to be sexier with her husband than she’d been in the past; he was the one turning her down now. She wasn’t bringing home sloppy seconds, she wasn’t spending his money on her lover, she had separated and compartmentalized her affair completely away from her marriage. It was no different from her being on a bowling league that he didn’t join.

Brad, on the other hand, knew about the affair, and was so convinced that he couldn’t compete with Oscar in bed that he forfeited the game. He knew that his wife still wanted him sexually, but was afraid that he could never measure up.

Oh, well, at least Oscar wasn’t written as having the Big Black Cock we’ve read about so much recently; the author didn’t get lazy on us.

One problem: it has to be obvious to Marie that Brad knew about the affair. She suspected all along, from his changed behavior, and she was spilling her guts to the police. This had to confirm her suspicions.

Marie had worked hard to keep her affair secret from everybody, to make sure she was never seen in public with Oscar. Yes, it was to conceal the affair, but it concomitantly protected Brad’s reputation, keeping him from being known as a cuckold. She was cheating, but she took an effort not to show disrespect for him.

great story how it was written. looks like he got his revenge and then some. i dont blame him one bit for the way he handled it as she was the one at fault and she cold have gone to him for support in everything. she threw everything away when she started the affair. keep writing

if you can get away with it. People need to be taught to not fuck around and this guy taught the stud, as well as his wife, not to fuck around. Everyone should kill people who displease them. There would be a lot more consideration given to every action. Murder as revenge makes a brilliant plot. 5 *s and 🤓🤓🤓🤓.

AMeryman

The start was good, but then you glossed over all the important bits. Why skip the confrontation scene with the wife? You narrated pretty much everything after the shooting, but there could have been some great dialogue there. The post-serving devastated wife, her having to tell the daughter what happened, Marie begging him for forgiveness...

It felt like you got bored and just ended it, which was a shame, because you set up a great BtB.

I have liked most of your previous stories, but this was just kind of boring, and I didn't care for the ending. I doubt the husband would have gotten away with the shooting, at least not in most states. Just because someone enters your home uninvited is not legal justification to kill them without warning them that you have a gun, or attempting to tell them to leave, or to lay on the floor while you call the police. Possibly in Florida, but not most other places. I remember reading not too long ago about a guy in Minnesota who was in his basement when two teens broke into his home. He shot one as she was walking down the basement stairs, killing her. He was charged with murder. I would have enjoyed this more if it had focused on confrontation and dialog between the husband and wife, I mean if he had confronted her with the video. But keep writing. At least the husband was decisive, and not a wimp who enjoyed eating cream pies, or some damn shit. 3 stars.

But in my opinion, it ended too quickly. The set up was good, but as soon as he brought the hammer down, it was pretty much over. I think it needs more details, just for closure. Still, I give it a 4.

The difference in Minnesota he recorded himself in the implication by saying he'd kill the b**** they just had it on Dateline

I read pages 1 and 4 and don’t feel like I missed anything important

Why would it matter if they found his DNA on the couch? The wife admitted to the police of her affair, that's how the husband "found out" and that's also why he was "breaking in" that night.

Yeah you missed it when the husband said he already took out the cameras before that night.

I noticed POWERSWORDER giving advice but never submitting anything. When are yougoing to try publishing a story?

Oscar should not have died. Yes he cheated on a married woman but she did it willingly. It may be morally objectionable but not a justification for murdering.

Horrible message !

"what did Marie take from Brad, what did she deny him?" Her time? Her love? Experience those things together? His health? She never did want to do any of that stuff with her husband and when she finally does, her husband is so disgusted by her he doesn't want to.

"It was no different from her being on a bowling league that he didn’t join." You're not risking a STD on bowling nights. You're also not breaking any vows by going bowling.

Maybe she was a good wife in the end because she gave Brad the motivation to get into shape again. Getting started is always the hardest part. Thought the revenge was well planned out.

Good setup, but disappointing payoff.

. . . everyone should kil people who displease them. Well, that would have our 320 million population somewhere in the 15 million range.

There are a lot of people who have pissed me off before, and I’m sure that there are a couple of other people I have ‘displeased’ in the past.

One commenter said that the police would find Oscar’s DNA around the cabin, which is true enough, because the wife admitted to the affair. But that has to put them on Brad’s trail, looking up receipts for the security system and searching his house and computer for any traces that he knew about the affair. This was premeditated murder, and if Oscar had blabbed to any of his buddies that his lover had invited him up late, that would come out as well.

Best case scenario? Brad pleads down to voluntary manslaughter, gets 15 years, serves 10, and gets out at age 65, broke because his actions have put investigators on the trail and his hidden money is found. Marie winds up with all of his money, and another young stud as well.

. . . Brad didn’t make Marie miserable enough, and should let her know he hates her more than anyone on earth. That’s the kind of hatred that wrecks your own soul. Yeah, maybe he can’t live with her anymore, but that kind of hatred would mean no other woman could ever live with him, not for long anyway.

If you’ve been cheated on, too bad, so sad, but get over yourself. Life goes on, with or without you.

Another story without a loving wife and a murder. Toss in a woman having a murder.

That's why I've been saying the revenge was well planned out. ReedRichards says the police will look up receipts for the security system... how? They cops never found any security system.

Detectives are not going to put all their effort to help a guy like Oscar. The only unrealistic part of this story that I find is that the police were still "suspicious" of Brad. They kept watch on him? Asking people about the murder? That would most likely never happen. The detectives boss would never allow that. You have an open and shut self defense case. Those detectives are trying to turn a non murder into a murder and that goes into their stats. The boss would never allow that. Why waste resources helping a guy a like Oscar? Especially when there are more important things to do. That's a good way to get on your captains bad side and get stuck with crap detail for the remainder of your career.

Capt. you wrote, 'what did Marie take from Brad, what did she deny him?

Her affair with Oscar opened her up sexually, and she was trying to be sexier with her husband than she’d been in the past; he was the one turning her down now. She wasn’t bringing home sloppy seconds, she wasn’t spending his money on her lover, she had separated and compartmentalized her affair completely away from her marriage. It was no different from her being on a bowling league that he didn’t join.'

Just from page one.

The woman was smiling. As she ran her hand across her lover's chest her expression filled with anxious delight.

Marie slid out of her dress at the foot of their bed. She smiled invitingly as she performed a sexy dance, then twirled around playfully, displaying her new matching undies. Brad fondly remembered her erect nipples and fleecy, dark brown pubic hair showing through the filmy pink material.

Now those cherished memories were ruined. Bile rose in his throat as Brad forced himself to watch the rest of his wife's betrayal.

Like most men Brad loved oral sex, both giving and receiving. Unfortunately Marie made it abundantly clear right from the beginning of their relationship she wasn't into giving head.

She's always been a bit prudish in the bedroom and didn't want to experiment too much. He would have preferred a more frequent, varied, robust sex life, but was satisfied with the sexual activities they did share. And she had been more generous with her feminine charms lately, permitting sex with him three times a month or so.

Marie's negative response to his requests for oral made him assume his wife didn't enjoy blowjobs. However the wanton, drooling, almost frantic cock sucker on the screen nullified that premise.

He was surprised how comfortable she was with a big cock in her mouth. The way she was pleasing him, Brad knew this sordid activity had been repeated many times already.

It was sickening that she seemed to actually enjoy this brutal treatment; readily offering her tight gullet in a manner he'd love to have experienced over the past twenty five years.

Brad never realized there was such a wanton side of her personality. He always considered her a respectable wife and rather inhibited.

What did she deny him well just about everything a loving wife should. What did she give Oscar? Everything she should have given Brad. Granted she didn't give him sloppy seconds, because she wasn't giving him any thing at all, only when he started to turn away from her did she even realize she wasn't having sex with him at all.

You wrote,'Brad, on the other hand, knew about the affair, and was so convinced that he couldn’t compete with Oscar in bed that he forfeited the game. He knew that his wife still wanted him sexually, but was afraid that he could never measure up.'

Brad knew she was just providing a pity fuck to her clueless husband, probably to soothe whatever guilt she might be feeling.

She offered herself more in the last month than she had in years. And she certainly wasn't horny. Not with all the incredible, out of this world sex she had with Oscar! Even so, she didn't want Brad to feel neglected and wondered why he didn't want her anymore.

It was ironic that with Brad's sex drive cooling off, hers was heating up. Lately she was attracting young guys by the dozens. Her new improved figure hadn't gone unnoticed by any of the men where she worked.

Their relationship had never been very exciting in the bedroom. So she wasn't too concerned that he was acting distant.

Then she'd clean up and return to her normal, rather routine but secure life with her older, unsuspecting husband.

Before her affair Marie barely noticed the men she worked with. She was not a very physical person and didn't concern herself with sex too much. But since she started cheating, engaging in hot, regular sex with a young experienced lover, she found she couldn't live without it anymore.

She rarely felt so horny for her husband, so tonight was probably the most attraction she felt toward him in months. She could only imagine the reaction Oscar would have seeing her like this.

It was important to her ego to let Brad get the hint first. So she sat next to him, giving him plenty to look at, flashing all the green lights she could, hoping he'd make the first move.

Before her affair Marie barely noticed the men she worked with. She was not a very physical person and didn't concern herself with sex too much. But since she started cheating, engaging in hot, regular sex with a young experienced lover, she found she couldn't live without it anymore.

Her own words said it all.

Reed, from your comments to other stories I understand you detest violence, but as this story was about a older male competing with a younger male (who, as suggested was cheating with other spa members) he felt that was his only out. Not everyone wants to live the swinger or cuck lifestyle.

Azpiri

Unless I missed the removal of those cameras, they would have questioned both of them.

He had already removed all of the surveillance cameras and hidden the videos in a place no one would ever find.

Sorry this was so long but I felt I needed to respond.

Good story, but just not as well written as previous works. Pacing is off somehow (though I freely admit it could just be me). And once or twice I had problems with POV. I was trying to figure out who was saying or doing what. I had to go back a few paragraphs and count, “a,b,a,b,a...” Though even with professionally polished and edited stories this happens to me, so you’re in fine company (again, it could just be me). And the ending was a little too abrupt. Could have been fleshed out in comparison to the rest of the story, which goes into details (I’m pretty sure on this).

If this was the first story that was published I’d say a great start. But the two “Painfuls” and “Just Get Over It” are better IMHO. Again YMMV.

This story reads like a BTB checklist.

Physical violence perpetrated against wife's lover. Wife has mental breakdown, gains weight, and lives out the rest of her life in poor health in another town. Husband gets in better shape physically and has an assortment of new bed partners.

The only thing missing from this formula was any added value like say, emotion or depth.

seems cut a bit short

She was short sighted and selfish. If she wasn't happy with sex at home talk to her husband.

This is just another case of a wife taking what she had at home for granted and acting in a selfish adulturus way. She showed little respect for herself or her husband.

No willing cuckolds although murder is an extreme solution to the problem. And he just didn't seem the type to commit murder. My other complaint is that there was a real lack of dialogue in this story which seemed to make the emotional side of things a little flat. A solid 3 stars. I did get a good laugh out of some of the comments. It's easy to understand all the horrible comments when you realize people don't actually READ the stories. One commentator missed the fact that the cameras were removed from the cabin. Pretty big miss there. And, of course, my favorite complaint - these are fictional stories and NOT real life accounts. Keep that in mind people when you're losing your minds! ROFL! Thanks for the effort.

"what did she deny him?"

Loyalty. Honesty. Faithfulness.

Do you also go out of your way to give the willing humiliating cuckold tales which dominate this category a 1*. I bet you don't. Says volumes about your likes.

As to story, excellent read, not much into murder, but a cheating slut should get her dues, especially one like this one. Dragonman72 said it well. Want more than hubby can give you, I suggest you set him free, and then whore around all you want. She deserved everything she got, how's her sex life these days? If the circumstance was reversed and it was him, I'd feel the same way. Cheaters are cowards, destroying lives for personal gain. Don't like your life with your spouse, set them free. Nothing like wanting your cake and eat it too. eh, cheater? Five Stars.

@ReedRichards "That’s the kind of hatred that wrecks your own soul." I know what you mean but, if that is then surely a total lack of compassion does exactly the same?

"If you’ve been cheated on, too bad, so sad, but get over yourself. Life goes on, with or without you."

But something was missing,there was a lot of build up and then the killing, confrontation, divorce and aftermath were done and dusted almost as a summary.

Possibly both Marie and Oscar should have suffered more knowing Brad knew and knowing they had been screwed by him.

Instead of killing Oscar shot him in the groin, send her to call the cops while he applies pressure and retrieves the envelope.

Brad also missed a trick when Marie was starting to get flirty, he should have asked for a BJ. When she refused pull a screen cap close up of his cock in her mouth, but limiting identification and said "like this". He could have gradually built up the picture...

All said, it was one hell of a mind fuck losing both in a week. Glad the collateral damage was kept to a minimum for once.

The story built quite well then fell apart on the last portion. It felt as if the story ran out of steam and glided to a conventional ending.

My only caveat is a few mistakes in tense. i'e'... "have" when the grammar calls for "had",

Loved how you drew the story out and showed both his thinking and her thinking/

A Class A BTB I'll remember for a long time.

Dude put himself through a lot more than was necessary. Once he knew, just confront her and get it over with. The rest was plain cruelty and murder. for what? Some 50 year old pussy?

Newsflash: husbands don't own wives' pussy. The wife 'betrayed' HER VOW and the marriage. That's not justification for killing someone.

This is the story of a truly fucked up individual winding himself up with some incomplete evidence and acting in a very juvenile and criminal manner, killing one person and driving another insane. And for what, some pussy she was trying to give to him. All he had to do was tell her he knew about the affair. All this other self-destructive behavior--collecting evidence, trying to pretend things are normal, denying her--was unnecessary and farcical.

Sounds like a Columbine-level adolescent acting in a fantasy world...and there was no real dialog or adequately described confrontation. I mean, what a loser, he couldn't even get her to confess to him, she confessed to the cops. I mean in this kind of tale, isn't the culmination supposed to be the moment of acknowledgement "I know what you did and I've destroyed you..."? We didn't even get that...

Well that would help with the world population explosion!

I agree that the story needed more dialog and less description of her cheating but, in the end why not keep her since she will be a very loyal wife from now on?

She did want sex from her husband and even expressed the opinion that the loving from her husband was superior to the rough sex from her young lover.

Brad was cold and calculating so why not keep the wife and anytime in the future that she shows signs of straying again Brad could break out the tapes of her affair to put a little shock into her system.

Part of the point of the story was that he planned out his revenge so that he could get away with it and get to keep more in the divorce. OK. But it felt as if the planning goes on forever, then he kills her lover and everything else clicks precisely into place and The End. It feels very mechanically precise. The problem is, cheating on your spouse is NOT emotionless or neat. Yes, "justice" was done. The lover is dead and the wife is hounded out of town. Maybe, as others have mentioned, less dialogue results in less emotional impact, less reader involvement. We feel too far removed from the characters.

This story has its points. The plot moves along well enough. The discovery is fairly used. That problem is hard to avoid. The resolution is harsh, but a bit satisfying. Mainly, you need less and more in between. Less repetitive repetition, more explanation. The wife came to the conclusion that an affair would be cool because... Now she's 52 and what the hell? This was the first time a noncollege hunk hit on her? This is something she always did? The end seemed rushed. And comments that "it's just a story" fail to satisfy a legitimate criticism when a reader is left unsatisfied.

Let me point out something I liked. Usually, the authors here are much more clunky with a two person POV. I found your use of it much more flowing.

The story worked for me with his inner ruminations and the realistic consequences of violence.

Here are my very modest critiques.

His character changed from 'just a guy' to criminal mastermind without transition. You changed his character.

The ending wound up too quickly and left one wanting a bit.

Other than that, a fine story

He knew someone used the cabin which had to be his wife. So why was he wondering if this was the first time?

Okay, I'm not into murder porn, but this is one in the last several months versus hundreds of fag, cuck shit, the pendulum DOES swing.

Mr. Richards I can't believe you could write about Marie like that with a straight face. What was she taking from her husband, etc.??? REALLY!!! That whole little paragraph was from the Cheaters 101 Handbook. That whole paragraph has been used to justify cheating in COUNTLESS stories on this site. Come on man, admit it. She was simply a cake eater!! The ONLY change in their sex life was a small increase in frequency and even then she was thinking about Oscar. Marie really can't show her new tricks because then her husband might be suspicious, or she's just saving it for Oscar. Or was she waiting for 'someday ' to show Brad (like that's going to happen) So her 'opening up sexually' didn't mean ANYTHING to Brad. He got next to ZERO from this. And Marie didn't seem like she was going 'spice up' her married sex life or to stop cheating until her sex drive decreased. Yes, she knew her affair with Oscar would eventually end, but gave NO indication that she would then be faithful. She would only return to being faithful when she felt like it.

You also seemed to assume that not taking something from Brad was the same as not hurting him. Affairs MIGHT arguably not cause harm if not discovered, but Marie was on track to have a multi- month plus affair with Oscar and then very likely move on with someone else. Look at the comments she made about her co workers and even some of the students. No, Oscar would not be the last one. The longer she cheats the more likely she is to get caught. So much for respecting her husband and her vows. Just because she's not cruel doesn't make her in any way a virtuous person. And how could she not keep things as secret as possible. She knew she wasn't going to be with Oscar long term. And supposedly loved her husband. So she had to try to be careful and not blow her future. Typical cheater.

Additionally if we reverse Marie and Brad, I doubt you would be so generous to Brad if he was banging his secretary very discreetly. Again, typical cheating story.Their vows mean something and having an unintentionally positive side affect in no way excuses the behavior. She wasn't deliberately trying to be kind by her secretive nature. Hard to believe that you're excusing her. No different than bowling? Really? Affairs don't hurt?? Since when?? Every single thing you said was a cheaters excuse, no sloppy seconds, been done many times. Compartmentalized her affair, heard that one too. As far as bowling goes, let's translate that to - it was only sex, I don't love him, I love you and want to grow old with you. He means nothing to me. All of this means less than nothing to us. It's just a bump in the road. We can get by this. Just forgive me and I'll do anything to make it up to you.This has nothing to do with us. It's completely separate. Once I'm finished I'll be yours full time again.

I'm sure I left a few out.

Can't see how you blame Brad for not wanting to have sex with Marie. That was always one of my pet peeves. She's having unprotected sex with a cock hound and you want him to have sex with her??? That's insane!!

Sorry, it was a crappy excuse in those stories and it doesn't work here either.

I can almost believe that paragraph was a joke to pull our legs!! If it is, well done!! If not, so sorry!!.

all known to the police, and yet this passive wimp gets away with murder?

Why?

A little subtlety would go a long way

However, screw somebody else's wife and you may indeed get your ass shot. I didn't see the twist coming near the end - would have greatly preferred a more subtle revenge.

According to the story= Oscar pumped Iron and Pussie Daily....But it was Lead that killed Him!!!. ... " Truth Time " I read the first page --Then I cut through the Chase and read the last half of the story!......Dare I say 2 things Why do Authors depict Cops as Dumb as rocks!...And You Wrote in the Beginning He would never dump the slut?......4 Stars and I hope Marie Shoots Hubby! ★★★★ WOOF!

We need a long term epilogue here. The ending is very unsatisfactory. Brad needs to be found out and his wife’s future needs to be expanded on. Remember he is a murderer who committed a pre meditated murder of someone who, although he was a asshat, did not deserve to die. It would be good if he had told his wife he set them up and showed her the videos. His wife needs to suffer more and he needs to be punished as well. I am sure a lot of anon’s will say they both lovers needed to die as cheating carries a death sentence but pride and ego are not worth be Bubba’s fuck toy in prison.

Otherwise good story.

But not likely. Women usually hit menopause by then, and are dried up and mostly sexless. Like....right before menopause is when a woman's testosterone gets unusually high and she's horny as all get-out. Like her ovaries are screaming at her to breed before it's too late. I'm not using 'dried up' as an insult, i mean literally can't easily lubricate.

But it's...possible. Women still have sex late into life. But usually less, a lot less. And usually begins to drop off in her late 40s, early 50s. If this couple was in their 40s, this story premise would have made more sense. I know it's a nit-pick, cause the pacing and dialogue were good.

Men seek out youth, women seek status (mostly*) That's my other nit-pick. Young guys gotta hustle for a relationship, but older men are dripping with evolutionary sexy. Like...wealth accumulation and status only GROW as a man ages. Unlike women, that lose youth....every year. What I'm saying is the "she's such a hot menopausal cougar...and i'm just a sad sack, boo hoo" trope...it's old. It's not accurate. Yes, women would like him more for exercising and dieting, but that's do-able. His wife can't un-age. That's why marriage ....is mostly...for women. To secure a man into her old age. Men are hard-wired to hunt...mates and meat. It's annoying to date, but men do it instinctively. Marriage is for the benefit of women...almost exclusively. I understand fathers are important for raising children, and that society beats it into a man's head how important responsibility is...but he just needs to spread his seed...like the ex-wife's lover. What I'm saying is if you find a good man ladies/men, you drain his balls and fill his belly, cuz he don't need you. create the illusion that he does.

I can't except cheating justifies killing,

unless in self defense.

It is a bigger crime than cheating.

Everything else was top dollar,

in my opinion, in this story.

Though I feel something missing here,

the story gets top ratings from me.

I agree with the prior comment to a point. I believe the ending could have been better, along with other things.

You mentioned (anonymous) how "fast" it ended. I think if the author would have cut it off before going into the epilogue stages of how things "turned out", it might have read better and allowed a follow-up if one wished to add an additional chapter. Otherwise, I agree, it got stopped prematurely.

I found the same discrepancies in characters. The protagonist's original view that he could "never live without her" and "divorce was too expensive" get reversed in the end to oppose the original assertions, making you wonder how much character development got thrown out the window to satisfy the need for lurid sexcapades that filled the intervening pages. -In other words- why go through with building up a character if you trash it and go off on a tangent (although offering a better ending) to finish.

It seems like this was written for a class or something, just to fulfil a requirement.

I did like the comeuppance for Oscar - that was a 5 star elimination (quick, clean, easy to write/relate)

Smokepole

I think he would have still been charged with something. Way too much circumstantial evidence!

The crime sleeping with your wife does not justify murder, premeditated murder. Getting him fired, great; exposing his shenanigans with other ladies, OK. Pictures in bed with a shemale, wonderful. Murder, No.

IMHO if Brad would have just left when Oscar got there leaving the divorce papers it would have been better. But is Oscar a blind fool? He pulls up and sees not her car which he knows but a different one. Yet he still proceeds in!

In the real world she would snap back, changing gym yes, but she would recover. Him well a lifetime of not working out would not change.

The story has a long buildup where the husband discovers the affair... wife rationalizes it .. the husband shuts down ...the wife tries to argue with herself that nothing is going wrong ....

But when final scene happens is no actual conversation. There is 1 pathetic sentence about husband givign the cunt whore wife divorce papers ...and after four pages that simply is not good enough

This author really SUCKS has had the same problem is all of his

stoires. The author simply doesn't understand how to have the big climatic confrontation scene

RR; what did Marie take from Brad, what did she deny him? -----> all of things that she was dong with Oscar she NEVER did with her husband... Did you like even read the story ??

RR : The affair with Oscar opened her up sexually, --- But not for the NOT for the husband . READ THE STORY The wife specifically AVOIDED her husband when the affair with Oscar began

RR: and she was trying to be sexier with her husband than she’d been in the past" --->; she was ? what is assessment based on.?

The wife was giving him Pity fucks .The wife actually said in the beginning of the story the lack of sex and interest from her husband over the past few weeks did NOT ...at first... bother her at all.

RR: he was the one turning her down now. ---> gee I wonder why? how can anyone actually blame the husband after seeing what his cunt whore wife was doing ?

RR: "She wasn’t bringing home sloppy seconds, ( SHE WASNT ? How do we know this?) RR: she wasn’t spending his money on her lover, she had separated and compartmentalized her affair completely away from her marriage.

------- > so the fact that it was well hidden means it ok?

RR" It was no different from her being on a bowling league that he didn’t join.

----- dude you are deeply mentally fucked up

RR: Brad, on the other hand, knew about the affair, and was so convinced that he couldn’t compete with Oscar in bed that he forfeited the game.

---> again this assessment by RR proves how deeply fuck up he really is. It was the wife's actions on video that told him that his wife did NOT love his... because she was sooo sexually different from the way she had been in the marriage over the past 23 years

RR: He knew that his wife still wanted him sexually,

---->- he did? based on what? but was afraid that he could never measure up.

RR:" One problem: it has to be obvious to Marie that Brad knew about the affair. She suspected all along, from his changed behavior, and she was spilling her guts to the police. This had to confirm her suspicions."

-----> 100% wrong. The wife thought about that possibilIty 1 time then said so NO WAY

RR: Marie had worked hard to keep her affair secret from everybody, to make sure she was never seen in public with Oscar. Yes, it was to conceal the affair, but it concomitantly protected Brad’s reputation

-----> HOW THE FUCK DO YOU COME ON WITH THAT?

isnt it remotely possible that she hide the affair to protect herself?

DUDE you are mentally ill

You have a theme of the husband always being a leaser sexual creature than these young studs. Even with the 'I find the love making more satisfying than the multiple mind bending orgasms', some of the readers are not going to like that.

to equate a cheating disrespecting spouse to "joining a bowling league without telling you". Jesus fucking Christ Reed, just when i think I might start to have a little iota of respect for you, you gotta go and say some shit like that.

1--First of all, deciding to "open up sexually" with some random motherfucker and not your spouse is a whole other level of disrespect right there. One person has put in years, decades of time, of love, of sacrifice, and the other is some goddamn fucking stranger who sees her as nothing but a cunt on call.

2--Second, in the parts that were from her point of view, she clearly was only offering sex to her husband out of guilt, she even admitted that she didn't really even want to, she only wanted to fuck the other guy.

3--A motherfucking bowling team can't bring home AIDS, Herpes, or Hepatitus, now can it?

4--She BETRAYED him. Rationalize it all you fucking want, but it's the worst kind of betrayal when a spouse cheats. People have their confidence shattered for the rest of their lives over shit like that. People develop lifelong trust issues over shit like that. People kill themselves or kill the cheaters over shit like that. Happens every fucking day. APPARENTLY, REED, IT IS A BIG FUCKING DEAL. Her affair was affirmation that risking causing such psychological damage to the man she allegedly loves didn't matter to her as much as scratching an itch for some new cock. That's not a person who DESERVES to have a spouse.

5--As far as betrayal is concerned, it's also worth noting that there is a big difference from a spouse developing real feelings for someone which leads to cheating (and usually leaving for the other party) which sucks bad enough, to the realization that your spouse willingly fucked your lives up for nothing more than a roll in the hay with some fucking stranger that they don't even have feelings for, the kind of person who OBVIOUSLY makes a game out of seducing married people getting their fuck on regardless of how things turn out for the married couple. Someone falling out of love with you and in love with someone else is one thing, but in this case you find out that your spouse risked destroying you and the lives you've built together for what? A simple fling. Cause to her, your relationship was obviously never that important anyways.

but the finality of death only aids the shooter...TK U MLJ LV NV

In case you missed it , ReedRichards has openly bragged about screwing married women in these comments before . He's just a narrsastic asswipe who thinks he knows more about what people feel than they do themselves . He's just upset because this probably hits a little too close to home for him .

Does it RR ? Did it make you reach and touch your own throat ?

You wouldn't be the first predator to meet such a fate .

Now run along down to the grocery store and look at the Housewives and spin that cylinder ! Lol.

A good BTB tale needs to balanced the horrible things that happen to the bitch and lover with her betrayal and actions. This just did not have any where enough sins to justify murder. She did not steal the kids affection, did not embarrass him in front of family and friends, Never gave him sloppy seconds that we know of (she apparently showered after her meetings). She did not steal his wealth, plot his death, tie him up ad force him to watch... all in all that side of the equation was light for the heavy retribution taken. Where is "cantbuymy" when you need him... oh yes he is banned... Now he knew how to write a great BTB story,,, but they were all fairly well balanced even if both sides were weighty.

Although I hate cheating with a passion, I don't condone murder. But as a fantasy story this worked very well. Get evidence, plan, bait trap, exterminate the rat. Break the cheating wife's heart and then her mind. Perfect BTB fairytale. It's fiction folks, don't cry for Oscar , or Marie, no one was actually harmed in the writing of this story. In real life, however, like many of you, I own guns, many guns. From an 1858 Enfield Rifle, a .36 cal Navy Colt, to the Sig 320 and HK 416 rifle. I have no relatives near me, and no friends who have unlimited access to my home. Anyone coming into my home In the dark hours unbidden, is dead. No question, no warning. If I don't get you, my wife will. Don't you love the Castle Doctrine?

While it does have a wife getting herself some dick, it's not the least bit erotic. The husband once again is clueless. Come on, when married to a hotter woman he would definitely be suspicious. Especially if she started initiating sex all of the sudden. The murder was way over the top. It would have been better had it just been a golf club or bat to the head. There should been a seperate category devoted to guys who got fucked over by their wives so now they write revenge stories. Pitiful.

In my freshman year at college my much older brother one day left me this sex guide book in my car that he borrowed for the day, that I really learned a great deal from, and my girflriend at the time very much appreciated it. Now that same girlfriend dated a quite a bit older dude after me, who was apparently sexually quite experienced, and from him learned G-spot stimulation and squirting. We got toegher again and the first time we were sexual she squirted and she was very squimishing about it and she said actually it's not that great and tried to downplay it (I'm sure she was trying to protect my male ego). So I had a choice I can either tell her we are never going to do what you learned from this other guy, break up with her, or I could say, hey share I want to learn how to please you better (and honestly I knew she won't be my last lover, even though we were quite in love at the time, so future lovers will benefit from this knowledge). So I asked her to teach me, and I have done that with my many lovers. If you have experienced lovers you learn from them and you pass that knowledge, so hopefully people have better sex.

Now why do I bring the above up. So this woman at 52 had never been that much into sex and apparently had never had great sex. She had been with the same man for 27 years and either she had limited sexual experience before her husband or her husband was not that great in bed. For the first time it seems she was having great sex. It wasn't a matter of they had great sex in the past, and things had slowed down for them, but that this was the first time she was having great sex where she was fantasizing about sex and become a sexual person. These pathetic commentors are like, she didn't give her husband that stuff or that she was doing more with the other man. To these pathetic men it's like well I gave her marriage, I work and provide for her, so she got to give me great sex in return. A woman has to feel that way about her man to want to be very sexual with him. The reciprocation for the man being a good provider is the wife keeping a good house. The reciprocation for him being kind and considerate is for her to be kind and considerate. The reciprocation for the husband being a great lover is for the wife to be a great lover. The husband being a good provider and kind, will go so far in getting the wife's sexual juices going. What's going to get her to want to jump your bones regularly is for you to know how to get her sexual feelings going. Guilt and obligation will only go so far.

Well, this husband had a choice how to react to finding out about her infidelity. One obviously was to choose to kill the other man. Besides the obvious about how extreme that reaction is (of course not to some knucklehead anonymous commentators, so won't bother with those retards). He never overheard their conversations so he doesn't even know if she was telling her lover she was in a loveless marriage, in an abusive marriage, married to a paralyzed man or whatever. So we don't even know if this guy was even a jerk, or thought he was helping out a woman he had come to care about. Just some other dude, sexually experienced with a big dick who got his wife off. But I guess when a man's ego is bruised, it needs retribution. I bet if this was an older man with an average or small penis who didn't really get the wife off that much, but was a great listener, he would have lived. His big dick, better looks, better fucking skills did him in.

Of course, there were other choices he could make. One obvious one was to confront her, give her the ultimatum to stop or get a divorce. He said a couple of different times she had been a GREAT wife for 27 years. I guess that didn't earn her any reprieve or opportunity to make a mistake. In the beginning, he seemed like he could forgive her as he mentions how much he loves her and he can't imagine his life without her. The problem was that she was cheating with someone he couldn't compete with. A younger man, better equipped with a bigger dick, more attractive, and sexually much more experienced than him. He couldn't compete with the other man. So when you can't compete obviously you kill the other man off. The poor guy would have lived if he just was a blundering, overweight older man like him with an average penis. His genetics and better skills were his undoing.

The third option he could have said, fucking great. Now my wife for the first time is into it sexually. This guy turned something on in her and I can benefit from it. He's a young guy and he won't want her forever so I will see the benefit for the long term.

I'll tell you what my likely reaction would have been. First, I would have never been married to a woman for 27 years as fucking the same pussy, and only that pussy for that long ain't happening for me in this lifetime. I'll be honest after a few years she would have been the only one initiating sex no matter how hot she was. My attention span ain't that long. But I digress, so I'm going to put myself in this guy's place. First, I'm going to really feel old, shitty about myself, and sorry for myself. Then like he did, start moving money around and protecting myself (every long term relationship I have been involved in I have done that anyway, and the one time I was briefly married I had a prenup so I'd never have to do anything after the fact, but I'm putting myself in this guy's place). While I'm planning for the future I'll join a gym, get better clothes and get ready to compete out in the dating marketplace. You see I'm an ardent believer in capitalism. I'm an ardent believer in competing. I've had several very successful businesses and when you have that everybody and their mother comes after you for your money and for your business. I didn't go out and kill them, I competed. Now in this case, I'm no longer going to compete for my wife, but I'm going to be out there and compete for a new woman(en), a little younger, a little more attractive than my current 52 year old wife. Hey, I'd want an upgrade. Not to piss her off, but because I'm generally a fairly greedy guy and I want the best I can get for myself. And when I am ready, I serve her with divorce and move on. The 27 years of her being a "great wife", as he claims she had been, means she doesn't deserve BTB. But while the wise thing to do for Brad would be to stick around in the marriage and be happy about the more happy and sexually excited wife, I know how I am. I have too much of an ego, and I've never been happy to be the lesser in any context. But that doesn't mean I go off to kill the guy ahead of me, I compete against him when I have a shot at winning. If I don't then I compete in a different pool or in a different game where I can win. So I divorce her and move on and compete again. If I had to kill off everytime someone came after the hot women I dated or came after my money or my business, I'd have been a fucking mass murderer (although once when a competitor came maliciously after my business and client base I used legal means to put them out of business and out of the industry, so yeah BTB is warranted sometimes). Plus, this other dude didn't even know him so there was nothing personal. It was just he needed someone to lash out at because the other man made him feel lesser. Simple as that. It's definitely much harder to compete. It's much easier to destroy.

Send it back, and rewrite it this time; add on the lawsuit against the gym for several million dollars for a Alienation of Affection lawsuit.

When it really happens to you,Alan Alda wimps, we'll see what you say.

I fucked a married woman when I was a young stud. She liked, I was an idiot,believed here. She said she was divorced. If he had killed me, I had it coming.

Fuck, what is wrong with you hand wringers? Yes the best solution is divorce and move on. But if you get whacked by hubs DONT whine like a little bitch.

The story was a bit rough, but I felt like the consequences of her choices were no entirely out of proportion. I enjoyed the fact that you allowed him to set up the cheating bastard and end him. I get tired of all the writers who want to let them get off with losing a job or something equally meaningless. Two shots to the chest sounds about right.

In case you have all forgot about it (which you all seem to), let me reintroduce you to the concept of <b>'Beyond a Reasonable Doubt'</b>:

The standard that must be met by the prosecution's evidence in a criminal prosecution: that no other logical explanation can be derived from the facts except that the defendant committed the crime, thereby overcoming the presumption that a person is innocent until proven guilty.

That means, in layman's terms, that the jury couldn't find any holes whatsoever in the theory that Oscar's shooting wasn't at all a case of Brad defending his home (the cabin) from an unknown intruder, but either a premeditate setup to kill his wife's lover (1st degree), a happy coincidence that said lover showed up out of nowhere, which gave Brad the opportunity to kill him (2nd degree) or even a crime of passion (voluntary manslaughter.)

You gotta love VickieTern's post, 'cause the very first word of her title is all it takes to destroy any case against Brad: motive. For motive to work against him, the cops will have to prove, once against 'Beyond a Reasonable Doubt', that he knew about the affair between Oscar and Marie before killing him. For that to happen, they will need to find at least two very important key items: the videos and the letter. A lot of you kept bringing up the cameras as damming pieces of evidences, and they would be... if Brad left them in the cabins. And it is right now, all the police may be able to find now now is that, according to his records, Brad has bought some cameras a couple of months ago... What did he do with them? Nobody knows. Maybe he did installed them in the cabin, to spy on his wife... or maybe he bought them as a gift to someone, who knows. But, since the cops cannot prove that Brad did indeed installed the cameras in his cabin, since it's not illegal to own cameras, and since THERE'S ZERO DOUBT Brad destroyed all the videos he made about Marie's affairs, that purchase won't do much to help a prosecutor get a conviction here.

You know why I know Brad erased those videos? Because he destroyed the letter, undoubtedly THE BIGGEST PROOF out there that he planed of killing Oscar. Evidently, it was his plan, all those months ago, to set himself up with a teflon self-defense claim to get away with that murder. So, having anything out there making anyone the least bit suspicious that he knew about the affair would definitely turn him into a convict. The cameras are meaningless... but the videos and the letter? They mean EVERYTHING, which is why they're are all gone now. Keeping the sad state of marriage close to the vest, without going to see a divorce lawyer before taking care of Oscar, really played perfectly into Brad's plan - as far as everyone he knows was concerned, his marriage was going great!

Which brings me to the best alibi Brad has, out of all of them: his wife. Just to make sure you guys understand: even when the story ended, Marie still believe that her husband had no clue about the affair until she admitted it, and nothing that has happened since Oscar's death could or should have changed her mind about it. She convinced herself that the funk Brad was in, for all those months, had nothing to do with her affair, but was related to circumstances outside of their marriage, and, once again, nothing that came out after the murder could or should changed her mind about it. Actually, the fact that Brad, after all this time, finally decided to make love to her, to be her husband again, would renew her confidence in her marriage, that everything was well in the state of her union, and that should could keep on keep her cake and eat it too to her heart's content. So, if the cops even mentioned the idea that Brad could have set up his whole self defense claim... who do you think would be the first person to defend him? Yet, that's right: Marie. No way could you convince her Brad knew about her betrayal... unless you have the videos and/or the letter... and, since those things are now gone, well...

So yeah - 'Motive' cannot be prove here, not 'Beyond a Reasonable Doubt' anyway. Which means that the rest of it (as stated by VickieTern: means, opportunity, and act) are quite worthless. Any DA worth his salt would take one look at this case, if the police bring it to them, than would say "that's all you got for me?" Any defense lawyer would look at this, and laughed out loud with Brad, saying "that's all they got!?" Sure, some people got convicted for less than that, but the folks didn't have the financial means that Brad has (financial advisers who've been on the job for awhile aren't poor, folks.) And this cannot be said enough: the fact that Oscar was who he was really would work against Brad getting convicted. Jurors have to be impartial... but, if you think that's always the case, you haven't then been paying much attention to the American justice system. There's no way to make this sonabitch a sympathetic victim. Brad, on the other hand...

No such thing as a perfect crime, which is why Brad would always be viewed as a suspect here... but the lack of motive will always hurt any case against him where the burden of proof needs to be 'Beyond a Reasonable Doubt'. That, and a very unlikable victim, guarantee he will remains one of the many criminals out there who got 'always with it.'

This ain't an episode of L&W, folks...

You have an ability I admire to crank out a lot of pages in a short time. That's something I can't do here. It's an enviable trait. You are putting up stories quickly, and the good/bad thing about that, is people who read your stories become familiar with your style.

At some point, you should consider writing a reconciliation story to keep the tension alive. At this point, all your stories end with a broken marriage. If that's your passion for writing, I get it. From a readers point of view though, it does lesson suspense. There should be at least one story that defies expectations from those that read and like your stories.

I look at Stephen King as an example. He has a genre, that genre is horror. Bad shit happens in his stories, but he keeps the ending for characters you care about in doubt. You really don't know until the end how it will work out. Some stories have happy endings, some do not.

Mix it up is all I'm suggesting, at least once. ohio is known for reconciliation stories here, but not all his stories end that way. Matt Moreau is known for terrible endings, but there is the occasional story where the protagonist gets his happily ever after.

My two cents.

#takeyourownfuckingadvicepiper

This is a story about a husband that was devastated by his wife of many years cheating on him and he couldn't deal with it straight up and talk to her about it. He could have had a straight conversation about it's him or me or get the fuck out of my life. The decision to murder the manslut was premeditated and deserves to be punished. After the murder he still could have taken control of his life an wife but he chose to go rambo and give up 30 years of marriage. Brad sounds like a psychopath that can't face reality and reverts to murder so quickly. I can't see Brad having any kind of a normal life as a cold blooded murderer.

For the read.

It was a very good read, but ended too abruptly. Up until the last 4 or 5 paragraphs I thought this was being setup for a possibly 2nd chapter.

I am not against a little mayhem and murder when confronting those who engage in mayhem and murder. When it comes to revenge on cheaters, it's just a cheap pop. It gets the "I would of" crew all hyped, but it's a cheap way out of a story. It's much harder to write your way into and out of a confrontation, the drama surrounding cheating, the subsequent actions and reactions, whether it is putting a beating on lover-boy, divorcing the slut, just moving on or putting them back together. That's the story I want to read. Setting the guy up and shooting him? Really? Is that the best we can do? That's not the story I'll read, and this author has a habit of it. I'm done with that.

He had months to do it and finally ends it all in one night? Why?why risk prison or the death penalty for monetary gratification? Why not just fuck her or confront her or anything else.

There was no real explanation for the murder other than a quick and easy ending and that is unsatisfying to anyone.

And why would she be so dense as to believe Brad wouldn't know about her affair? And sung a cabin that hadn't been used in over 2 years? The dust, the mice, the potential for age related damage and you ignored all of that. They went to the cabin they dIsn't use for two years without checking appliances,the fridge (which can take almost 4 days to properly cool down, cleaning or any of the other myriad of tasks that are necessary for preparing a cottage for use....this was just so much bullshit.

"three times a month or so" - Three times a month or so is MORE generous? That's barely once a week! And I don't care how much he liked giving her oral, if she won't reciprocate, don't give it to her!

"He knew he needed more information before going nuts." - Why? He's got video of her cheating, what more does he need?

"She had been a great wife up until an hour ago." - Except for not giving him BJ's like did for her lover. Maybe he should try to get her to give HIM a good BJ!

"knowing what she was doing behind his back had him horny as a goat." - Eww! That's like the guys who get hard watching their wives with other guys.

Some comments put down his not trying to compete, but I agree with him. He knows how she responded even when things were good, now he's seen how she responds with lover boy, and it's pretty obvious that she'll never be like that with him.

When she tried to seduce him, I would have gone up, but insisted on a BJ. Would either get one, or cold use NOT getting one as an excuse to shut down the session!

"Something was bothering him but he wouldn't say what." - She may not know that he knows, but SHE knows what she's been doing, should be at least suspicious that he might know or suspect, not so quick to dismiss the possibility. And the word is "discreet," NOT "discrete"!

As others have said, "show, don't tell." Let's hear those conversations where she's trying to draw him out. You missed a great opportunity by not having sound on the cameras. Hearing what she and asshole say could be very helpful. Are they putting him down and laughing at him? Is asshole putting him down, but she's defending him? Is she expressing a desire that hubby be more forceful? These could make a difference in his reaction.

"Their relationship had never been very exciting in the bedroom." - Why not? What has she done to make it exciting? It never occurred to her to do things with her husband that she did with asshole?

"save her erotic sexual cravings for her young, hot, well endowed lover." - That needs no further comment!

As has been said, doesn't she realize that the cleaned up state of a cabin that has been vacant for months, if not years, is itself a give away?

"Brad went along?" - What choice did he have? He couldn't force her to continue the affair!

"she found she couldn't live without it anymore." - There ends any hope for a reconciliation. Even if she stops, and Brad cones around, she'll never be happy with just him any more.

She's "happy about her home life?" Shows how much importance she gives her love life with her husband!

God, even when she's getting horny for her husband, she can't keep asshole out of her mind!

She's worried about HER ego, as if asshole isn't feeding it enough, she should give more thought to Brad's ego!

It would probably never even come to a regular jury. An ambitious DA might bring it before a Grand Jury, but in all probability they would not issue an indictment.

Didn't really need the weight gain, moving out of town. She lost her husband, lover, and passion, that's enough!

I like it that he never told her he knew about the affair, but to go so far as to kill the interloper wasn't such a good idea.

Had I been our hero, and with his personality I think I would have bought or rented a trailer at some nearby park, and just gradually moved out. I would have left my errant wife to her own devices and her lover. Eventually I suppose it would have led to some sort of confrontation, but I would have never acknowledged my knowledge of her affair. I guess it would have just been a claim that we'd drifted too far apart, and I needed to find a new life, alone and away from her. The financial angle would never have bothered me.

I gave the story a five.

The plot failed , but your protagonist was likable. We could identify and sympathize with him. The dialog was....oh.... never mind not much of it to matter🤔.

So the cops don't find evidence at the cabin. No cameras, no skin, semen, DNA , of the victim. The wife doesn't share with the cops any suspicion or speculation with the police.

We the reader are left wondering why did she change? Where is the character development👀.

The daughter was a throwaway device😧. There is a real failure on your part Cinical. A normal daughter would have added tension to this story. She could communicate about unusual behavior, feelings from one parent to the other.

Cinical, I gave you 3*s. It reads as incomplete or rushed. Not the usual proficient story that you post.

Thank you for the effort. I look forward to the next story .

AMerryman

She admitted to the affair, so there was no need to search for DNA or other evidence of Oscar having been there, because she TOLD them he had been!

She didn't share any speculation because she didn't have any! She was totally convinced that her husband was completely clueless about the affair. If anything, his desire to go to the cabin and rekindle their passion was proof to her that he still loved her.

I loved the story and liked how you ended it without leaving the reader hanging wondering what happened.

I gave it a 3. Dude was cleared of Murder yet a cloud of suspicion hung over him? Sounds like the Cops were dicks and tried to ruin his life. I'm mean, sure we KNOW he did it. But after suffering as much as he did I think he was entitled to some restitution.

I think a number of the commentariet need to start taking notes when they read a story...c'mon folks.

First, the crime takes place out in the sticks. The Big City boys aren't involved, it's Sherrif Buford and his dim-witted nephew twice removed. Is the County Law Enforcment system going to spend serious money chasing this down? NO!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it looks suspicious as hell, and even the five-point boys may think it was set-up, but no DA is going to throw money at this. Not going to happen.

On the other hand...

Therapist: ...and did your husband have a point?

Marie: What do you mean?

Therapist: You just told me that your husbands last words before he left were, let me read this back to you, "Just go find another fuck buddy Marie. You seem to have no trouble finding them. Just make sure its one with a big dick like that ass hole you were fucking." Was Oscar well endowed, was that the attraction, did you tell your husband that? Or did you belittle Brad - sorry poor use of words there - perhaps you said...

Marie: Brad never saw Oscar until that night, I never said anything to Brad about Oscar's size or ability, even during the divorce I would never hurt Brad that way.

Therapist: Well I'm just quoting back what you told me..."with a big dick like" and he references Oscar. Clearly Brad knew, you must have let it slip or...

Marie: No, no way, I worked hard to keep my affair secret, I told no one. And I was especially careful around Brad - during the affair, during the divorce - I loved him and still do. I would never sabotage a chance to get back together by humiliating him, he has his pride as unforgiving as he's been with the divorce, if he thought...if he thought...if he...OH MY GOD. He knew, somehow he knew, and maybe there were photos or videos...OH MY GOD,

Therapist: Marie, Marie...9-1-1...I have an unconscious client, she fainted, possible head injury, yes the address is...

... 'Cause, frankly, no one wants to read about my pseudolegal opinions, even though it's pretty damn clear it would be very unlikely that the MC here would ever be convicted of murder. That been said...

This is, frankly, one of Clinical's more solid efforts, but it's not perfect. Its beginning and development was very intriguing, even though it was less than original. I like the fact I have made to actually give a genuinely fuck about Brad, being able to empathy with seeing his marriage crumpled right in front of him. I even like getting Marie's perspectives in this whole thing, even if it was limited. And there's lie so of the issues with this story..

It's too short. Having read all of the author's previous works left here, it's surprising to see him giving us a shorter tale, but, this around, a smaller narrative meant more questions that would be left unanswered. Most of the usual W5 were given, the biggest one, the 'why?', never was - sure, Marie fucked Oscar, 'cause he was a bigger, more attractive man than Brad, with a bigger cock... but, after all the years she spent married... Why HIM? Why NOW? And who actually started the whole thing - did Oscar aggressively seduced her or did she made it quite clear to him that she was 'open for business'? Those are probably the answers we would have got if Clinical bothered given us the much needed Final Confrontation he ultimately denied us of.

As for the murder... yeah, I have to condone it. Regardless of what I wrote previously, I'm not until killing some dumbass who's sole perceived affront to me was to fuck my wayward wife. Oscar was an asshole, but he was one who made absolutely no promise to Brad... the one who cut the bastard to the core wasn't the stud, but his unfaithful wife. If he could justifiably kill Marie - and how to really justify that? - then he shouldn't have killed her lover either. Yeah, he should get away with it... but he has no business feeling good about it.

Makes you wonder, though, what the hell Brad was waiting for all this time, when he was freezing out Marie. His Final Plan was quite easy, in its execution, and didn't require that much setup, so why wait months on end to make it happen? Did he do it on purpose, to make his wife uneasy about the state of their marriage? To put months between him acquiring, then getting rid off the cameras and write that fatal letter to Oscar, so that potential witnesses forgot who he was? Was it for him to move as much money as possible out of the grip of his soon-to-be-ex? What was that delay about, and why did he choose that specific Friday to act on his plan? These are definitely some of the info that should have been explained, toward the end - I was getting frustrated by Brad's lack of actions, but evidently he was only laying low, waiting... for something. 'Would have been nice to understand yet another 'why'.

The conclusion of the tale, although cut short for no apparent reason (sure looks like Clinical got bore with it) was still believable. I already made my point about Brad getting away with murder. The aftermath of it, however, is just as plausible - there's very little doubt the guilt Marie would felt about being directly responsible for the loss of the two men in her life would destroy her previously high self-confidence, and affected her enough to even compromise her health - shit like this aged people, do not doubt it for a second. As for Brad... did I mentioned he got away with murder? No doubt that accomplishing his revenge gave him a huge ego boost - a double BTB always would - which give him the incentive to take better charge of his life, which resulted in him now working out and finally taking better care of himself. Again, that's believable.

Which is why, ultimately, this whole thing is just one hell of a sad story about a couple who BOTH took each other for granted. Marie, a spoiled housewife with narcissistic tendency that wouldn't think twice about becoming the sexual sexbomb her husband always dreamed she could become... but only with another man; and Brad, an over-the-hill spouse who did the bare minimum to keep his marriage on solid ground, even though he knew how attractive his woman was. Seems to me that a serious lack of communication was evident in this relationship well before Brad freezed out Marie - if she went out of her way to his sexual demands, it certainly looks like he didn't match her sexual needs... then, I don't think she ever brought up the issue there. Essentially, sure, Brad could have done more to secure his marriage, but Marie was the one who's destroyed it.

So a good BTB, which is what it is, with compelling characters we, however, don't know enough about. The extreme actions taken by the MC here to get was deplorable, no doubt, but still understandable - there's such a thing as pushing an once good man too far, and, evidently, that was way too far for Brad (that's why you shouldn't fucked people over.) It certainly would have help the overall narrative if the author took the time to broader his ending, and give us a more satisfying conclusion to Brad and Marie (their final dispute should have been written...), but, at the very least, I concluded this with some sympathy for the players in it (I even feel genuinely sorry for Marie and Oscar! Kudos to Clinical for pulling off that one!)

Final thoughts: man oh man, was I not aware of all the cheaters apologists around here! And you guys came out FULL FORCE to defend Marie's undefendable betrayal - who knew that so many people took marriage vows as a complete joke!? 😂 Anyway, the math is pretty simple to me: if you knowingly cheat on your spouse, said spouse has every right to dumb your ass at the earliest convenience. That's how most of us sees it, anyway... After for the anti-BTB out there, why so serious? Aren't we all looking for the same thing here: FANTASY? So of us (more than I couldn't ever imagine...) fantasize about a wife cheating on her man and find fulfillment in the humiliation; others preferred to see a wayward wife dearly suffered the consequences for breaking her marriage vows. Nothing is real here, all of it came from the never inside numerous writers's minds. So, once again... why so serious? And, as for not finding this erotic... well, sure, but, then again, I don't find any eroticism in cuckolding too. So...

Such a sad story, given us such raw responses from its readers... 'Guess you should see this as a definite success then, Clinical. Keep it up. ★★★★

Also thought that the 'big dick' line thrown by Brad was very compromising...

However, the problem with it is that we still have no idea what exactly did he and Marie talked about, during their Last Fight. For all we know, Oscar's well endowed probably came out somehow - why shouldn't it? That's one of the major reasons why she cheated, and kept on cheating!

If she didn't brought it up, it wouldn't be surprising that he, as the slight husband said dejectedly something like "you fucked him because he had a bigger dick than me, right you whore?", without making it sounds like he knew for a fact to be the case. Obviously, given the lack of details the author gave to this conversation, it's all speculative... But it sure is plausible.

Complete fantasy. The cops knew he did it and would keep looking until they found the evidence.

He could claim that it was just a throw-away line, since so many wives cheat with guys that have big dicks.

Cinical is putting a good effort into his stories and I generally like his writing. It's actually heartening to me that so many readers thought Murder One was over the top, just as abortion is surprisingly absent on LIT. We readers must be a pretty moral crowd, other than that unbridled lust thing.

I thought the middle segment of the story dragged and I wondered why hubby didn't talk with wifey about her affair once he knew, and make an effort to stop the affair and save his loving wife from herself. Was their 27 year marriage so weak that he couldn't consider any course of action other than killing her lover and abandoning her? Seems like he could have salvaged something better from this mess. Instead, he abandons his wife and turns himself into a cold-blooded murderer, and a thief as well.

Also, hubby had no assurance lover boy had the all-important letter with him when he was shot. The cops would have seen right through that letter, had they found it. Still, a pretty literate effort (except for discrete vs. discreet!).

1--what evidence are they going to find, anon? Cameras gone, memory cards wiped, setup note gone....explain this evidence please.

2--40% of murders go unsolved each year in America, dude. And that rate is for when a death is ruled a criminal homicide. This death appears in every way to be a justifiable homicide, and much like when pimps and drug dealers buy it, cops don't tend to work so hard to find justice for some dead asshole who was fucking other men's wives. Cops are human too, and EVERYONE hates worms who move on married women.

3--This killing was out in the sticks. The crew from Law and Order won't be investigating this, rural sheriffs department personnel are. They have less resources, more territory to cover, and they care less about exactly how some out of towner killed another out of towner who showed up in their cabin

4--Treyvon Martin ring a bell? Stand your ground laws? A killer doesn't have to do much to show that he reasonably felt in danger to get away with straight up murder. It's happening all the time now. Motherfuckers shoot people who are doing nothing more than yelling at them and are getting away with it right now, ESPECIALLY in rural areas like where the cabin is.

Oh, well. She got what she deserved and I don't sympathize with her for a second - fuck her! Poor Brad, more like

I don't know what the stats are, but I would think it would be silly for a woman to cheat with a guy that would satisfy her less sexually than her current sexual partner. Just like I would imagine most men cheat with a sexier woman. One would think Camilla Bowless/Princess Di were the exception and not the rule.

You are right. I missed the connections sbbrooks103x.

I guess I find it disconcerting that he got completely away with murder.

Dominant..... also makes another good point..40%of homicide cases solved 😯.

I presume that the spouse is intensely scrutinized in this sort of case.

Under these particular circumstances Cinical gave us...no.🤔🙄.

AMerryman

Very few people cheat because they are chasing a giant cock or chasing some plastic bimbo hottie. For many there are specific qualities of their relationship they are very unhappy with (everything from finances, arguing frequently, diminished or unsatisfactory sex, or feeling neglected/ignored) and instead of taking a proactive approach to fixing problems or moving on, they look outside the relationship for love, support, feeling desired, etc. For a great many it's a situational issue, one spouse travels a lot or they otherwise are often not around each other, "partying/barhopping" frequently, having friends who push or encourage such behavior, or constantly being around (such as coworkers, ect.) someone they feel a strong attraction to. In this case, they are frequently in situations with temptation and a means to do the deed, and people with impulse control / maturity issues do very poorly around steady temptation. Finally, you have factors like gender (men are more likely to cheat because they have higher testosterone which gives a higher sex drive and thus if they also have impulse control issues it's a match made in hell), as well as religion, social political beliefs, and personality issues. Some people just don't give a damn. Some people are selfish or have empathy issues and never take into account how they are hurting their spouse, and a METRIC FUCKTON of people easily delude themselves with thoughts of "what so and so doesn't know won't hurt them...and they'll never know" which of course frequently blows up in their fucking face, as their spouse finds out or the cheating ruins their relationship in other ways like causing the cheater to emotionally withdraw from their partner or become enamoured with the outside party.

For the record, I believe that 90+ percent of the cheating spouses (admittedly many less stories about male cheaters) in stories on Literotica would fall into the "selfish/lacking empathy", "deluding themselves", and "very unhappy with the relationship" categories.

Where is it written that bigger dicks equals better sex? Many, if not most, women find bigger dicks uncomfortable, if not painful.

Brad took Marie for granted all of his lazy life and then decides to kill her lover with a cold blooded premeditated ambush. Brad is one sick dude that will rot in hell.

but at least he wasn't a gungo ho gun freak. at a stretch i can believe he was just a regular imperfect husband whos anger at his wifes long term betrayal turned him a little crazy and he snapped.

he found his wife doing things for her lover she never did for him. aside from cheating that is a cruel and heartless betrayal.

thanks for the read 5*.