All Comments on 'Family Christmas Party'

It turned out to be a dream

Overall the story wasn't bad BUT IF this was edited, I'm afraid to see what the unedited version must have looked like. MANY blatant typos and some grammar.

I get that the protagonist is a virgin! Got to second base before.... mmmmmaybe, but all this extended silly dialogue in a dream based on his movie watching, which must have been in 1960's Sensurround since he could smell her wet pussy, etc. plus detailed info about his insecurities regarding sexual activity blah blah blah...

And the editor must have obviously been a dream as well...

Just reading your work out loud would help you find the juxtaposed words and the awkwardness of sentence construction, though not the ridiculous idea that this was in any way dream-like... or why you would decide that it had to be a dream.

A little more care please

For a third submission this was not too bad. I do suggest getting an accomplished editor. This one missed too many very obvious corrections. I am not a member of the literotica family as yet or I would volunteer. Maybe soon.

I thought the story was good just said that it was just a dream