Family Freud

Hello Readers! It has been forever since I finished a story, and I apologize for not writing more recently. It has been difficult to write. Anyway, this is something new and different. Enjoy and let me know what you think!

[A title screen shows the name of the program, "Family Freud" in heavily stylized letters against a background that looks like old-fashioned television static. A repetitive, non-copyrighted song place on an endless loop for half an hour before the program starts.]

[At exactly 11 p.m. EST time, the title fades away. Slowly, the static begins to resolve and there is a smiling woman, sitting behind a desk. She is the HOST - FILIA SOROR. Filia Soror is a tall, thin woman with long, dark brown hair, tanned white skin, a broad forehead with narrow eyebrows, large almond-shaped blue eyes, a small perky nose, high cheekbones, a wide mouth brimming with white teeth, and a small, rounded chin. She has a lithe build with small, perky breasts, a narrow waist, gentle hips, and long legs. The set looks a bit like a local television newscast. Filia Soror is sitting behind a desk, her body only visible from the waist up. She is wearing a tight black dress with a plunging neckline and no sleeves. Her eyes sparkle as she tosses her hair side to side.]

FILIA SOROR: Good Evening everyone! And welcome to America's favorite (and only) taboo game show "Family Freud"! I am Filia Soror, your gracious mistress of ceremonies. Now, our analytics guys tell us that if you are watching the show tonight, you are already a dedicated fan and you know all the rules and exactly what you are going to see tonight. Seriously, tell your friends, we need to grow our audience.

FILIA SOROR Cont'd: But on the off chance that you are a new viewer or are just so horny that you can't remember the rules, let me tell you how this game is going to work. Tonight, just like every Friday night, we have three new families (two family members on each team) who will compete for a fabulous payday. Amber, how much did our champs win last week?

AMBER [a disembodied, female computer voice]: Last week's champions, Meredith Goldberg and her father Richard took home $31,500.00

FILIA SOROR: Thanks, Amber. And Congratulations again to the Goldberg family. Our legal department fielded over twenty complaints from various law enforcement agencies all over the North American continent. We couldn't be more proud!

FILIA SOROR Cont'd: Contestants on "Family Freud" are selected following a rigorous background check. The important thing to know is that on each family team, only one contestant is aware of what "Family Freud" is and how the game works. That informed contestant convinces a close relative to come play our "family-friendly game" for a chance to win big money. The uninformed contestant will learn about the game as it goes on.

FILIA SOROR Cont'd: The format is simple - We initially have rounds of mental and physical challenges that test the bonds of family and the desire to make a whole lot of dirty money! We will explain the rules to each round. After the third round, the team that is in third place in the money count is eliminated, though they have a chance to earn a consolation prize. A final Showdown round determines the winner. Amber can you introduce us to our contestants tonight?

[Screen fades out and then fades back in, showing ALEXIS MCCLEOD. It is a fully body shot of ALEXIS looking nervous backstage in front of a wall that says "Family Freud." She is 5'5, has pale white skin, shoulder length auburn hair, innocent brown eyes, a slightly wide nose, and a shy mouth with thick lips. She has a long, slim neck, small breasts and a dramatically narrow waist with wide hips. She is wearing a thin white cardigan with a blue t-shirt underneath and a long, dark skirt]

AMBER: Allow me to introduce Alexis McLeod. She is the informed member of the McLeod family team. Alexis is 23 years old and is attending graduate school. She says she has been watching our show for two years and signed up after watching four episodes.

FILIA SOROR [not visible on screen]: Welcome Alexis! Glad you could make it. Would you mind telling the fans at home why you decided to sign up?

[Amber blushes deeply and can't quite look directly into the camera. She shrugs twice before speaking]

ALEXIS: We, my brother and I, we both need money for school. We get along okay, I thought we should at least try. Really, Filia, I never thought you'd call me up!

[Something about Alexis' blushing nervousness creates the impression that she isn't being entirely honest about her motivations for being on the show.]

FILIA SOROR: When the producers saw your ass in your photo samples, they demanded that I give you a call! Alright, let's meet your brother!

[Alexis smiles awkwardly, but the screen fades out. Fades back in, showing FREDDY MCCLEOD. Again a full body shot in front of a wall that says "Family Freud." He seems more comfortable, a common occurrence for the uninformed contestant. He is 5'8 and has a face that looks remarkably like his sister's. His hair is the same color but much shorter, nearly a crew-cut. His shoulders are somewhat narrow and he is slim youthful-looking. He is wearing a plain, dark blue button-up shirt and khakis.]

AMBER: Allow me to introduce Freddy McLeod. He says he is excited about the prospect of helping his sister make a little money for school. He is 18 years old and starting college himself in a couple of months.

FILIA SOROR [not visible on screen]: Welcome Freddy! We are so glad you could make it. I am told you have never seen an episode of this show. What's your best guess as to what you've got yourself into here? What do you think our game is?

[Freddy blushes a little, looking more like his sister. And shrugs.]

FREDDY: Honestly? I figured it was some sort of online rip-off of like...Family Feud or something.

FILIA SOROR [laughing gently]: Oh I think you will be pleasantly surprised Freddy! No feuds here, our show is all about love! Alright, Amber, who is on our next team?

[Screen fades out. Fades back in, showing KASSIE MORGAN. Full body shot in front of a wall that says "Family Freud." She is 5'2 and has cocoa black skin. She has very long hair pulled back in long braids. She has large, round dark eyes and a wide, short nose. She has a wide mouth and a slight gap between her middle teeth. She has a somewhat scrawny build with small breasts, a thin waist, narrow hips, and long, slim legs. She is wearing a white tanktop shirt and a short, black pleated skirt with knee-high socks underneath.]

AMBER: Allow me to introduce Kassie Morgan. She is the informed member of the Morgan family team. Kassie is 20 years old and is attending a rising college junior. She says she has been watching our show for a year and signed up after watching a single episode.

FILIA SOROR [not visible on screen]: Welcome Kassie! We are so excited having you on our show. How did you know after a single episode that this was something you wanted to do?

KASSIE [biting her lip seductively]: Actually, Filia (and can I say that I am a HUGE fan?), the first episode I saw, I didn't see live. I saw it a couple months later and it was the episode that Kylie Carranza won. And I just saw how it made her influencer career just take off. And I just thought it looked like fun! What a good way to become more famous!

FILIA SOROR: I don't think I will ever forget Kylie's episode. She was willing to do ANYTHING to win. I like the look in your eye, Kassie. I think you have her will to victory. Alright let's meet your sister!

[Screen fades out. Fades back in showing ASHLEIGH MORGAN. Full body shot in front of a wall that same "Family Freud." She is 5'4 and her hair is pulled back in dreadlocks instead of braids. She has gold, wire-frame glasses. She looks very similar to her sister, but has grown into her body. She has large, generous breasts and wide hips. She is wearing a fashionable gray v-neck t-shirt and a pair of tight jeans.]

AMBER: Allow me to introduce Ashleigh Morgan. She says her sister had to beg her to be on our show! She is 32 years old and a certified public accountant.

FILIA SOROR [not visible on screen]: Welcome Ashleigh! So you were a little reluctant to join us today. You must really love your sister, since she dragged you out here?

ASHLEIGH [laughing slightly]: Yeah, you know, Kassie is always...very willing to see and be seen. I think she is going to be a movie star or something someday. That really isn't me. But I adore my baby sister. I'd do anything for her.

FILIA SOROR: Well Ashleigh, I think we are going to hold you to that! Alright Amber, the last team please?

[Ashleigh's brow furrows slightly, but the screen fades out and fades back in showing CANDACE LINCOLN. Full body shot in front of a wall that same "Family Freud." She is 5'3 and has long, dark red hair. She has sparkling green eyes, some slight freckles on her face that makes her look very young. She has an upturned pixie nose and a small, pink mouth. She has medium sized breasts, a flat stomach, and a large ass. She is wearing a red, patterned sundress that falls to her mid thighs]

AMBER: Allow me to introduce Candace Lincoln. She is the informed member of the Lincoln family. Candace is 42 years old and is currently unemployed. She has never seen a single episode of our show, but she read about it online and signed up, sight unseen.

FILIA SOROR [not visible on screen]: Welcome Candace! You know, you are the first mother who has EVER brought her son on this show with us. We have had lots of sons bring their mothers. But you are a first. What brings you here?

CANDACE [remains silent for a long minute, then speaks in a tiny voice]: I really need the money. They are going to take the house...

FILIA SOROR: All you perverts online who prefer a little desperation, Candace is speaking your language! Okay, Amber our last contestant please!

[Candace's head drops a bit, Screen fades out. Fades back in showing ZACH LINCOLN. Full body shot in front of a wall that same "Family Freud." He is 5'10 and has longish red hair similar to his mother's, but not as shiny. It hands down obscuring his eyes and he has cow-like lips. He is skinny and has sort of greasy looking skin. He has thin, long legs and large, awkward feet. He is wearing a band t-shirt, but the name is digitally obscured and a pair of tattered jeans.]

AMBER: Allow me to introduce Zach Lincoln. He says he is doing this because he didn't want his mother to complain about it if refused! He is 21 years old and a a part-time mechanic.

FILIA SOROR [not visible on screen]: Welcome Zach! So why do you think your mom wants you here?

ZACH [shrugged and mumbling]: A couple years ago when dad left she always wanted to like...bond. I thought she'd given up on it. I guess I was wrong.

FILIA SOROR: Oh I think you are definitely going to be bonding before all is said and done! Alright, Amber, let's stop teasing and bring everyone out.

[screen shifts to three glass booths. There are doors in the back of the booths and they all open simultaneously. The uninformed members of each team file into the booths and sit down on seats. Camera shifts and then pans back and Filia Soror's desk is a few meters away, facing towards the booths. We are angled so we can see each glass booth and Filia Soror at the same time.]

FILIA SOROR: Alright Freddy, Ashleigh, Zach, good to see you all again. Our first round is called "Dirty Little Secret." The rules are very simple. Amber how do we play this game?

AMBER: Filia is going to ask each of you a series of questions about your family member (who won't be present). You won't hear the questions for your opponents, these booths are soundproof. The questions are based on an extensive survey that your family member performed before our show started. Filia will give you three options. Two will be total inventions. But one will be the answer given by your relative. Know (or guess) how your relative answered, and for each correct answer you will get $500. There is no penalty for getting a question wrong, but if you refuse to answer then you will lose any money you have accumulated to this point. There are no set number of questions, we will go until time runs out. So answer fast! The faster you all go, the more money you can all make. Is everyone ready?

[the three contestants in the booth nod sort of awkwardly, still no entirely sure sort of game they are playing].

FILIA SOROR [pushing buttons on her desk. The lights dim in Ashleigh and Zach's booths]: Great, alright I am cutting off the sound for Ashleigh and Zach. Freddy, this question is for you: we asked your sister Alexis, "Who was the first person you ever French kissed?" Did she answer, a) Mike Philmore, b) Cody Anderson, or c) Maria Conner?"

FREDDY [looking around a little]: the first person my sister ever tongue kissed? That's the question? [silence]. Oh, uh, well I have never heard of Mike Philmore. And Maria Conner is our cousin. So I will go with our neighbor Cody, I guess.

[Bell rings]

FILIA SOROR [smiles broadly]: Oh, Congratulations Freddy, you just banked $500.00 for your family. But don't worry, cousin Maria might show up for some additional firsts later!

FREDDY: Wait, what?

FILIA SOROR [pushing buttons on her desk. The lights dim in Freddy's booth and come on in Ashleigh's booth]: Okay, Ashleigh, it is your turn for your first question. So, we asked your sister Kassie, "Which of Ashleigh's friends do you find the most attractive?" Did she answer, a) Doug Martin, b) Lisa Landers, or c) Charlie Mickelson?

ASHLEIGH [laughing and putting her hand over her mouth]: What a weird question! Umm...I know that Kassie thinks she is like...super smooth. But Lisa and I always laughed about it when we were younger. Kassie has, or had, a massive crush on her.

[Bell rings]

FILIA SOROR [smiles broadly]: Congratulations Ashleigh, you just banked $500.00 for your family!

ASHLEIGH: Yeah, I guess...

FILIA SOROR [pushing buttons on her desk. The lights dim in Ashleigh's booth and come on in Zach's booth]: Alright Zach, time for your first question. So, we asked your mother Candace, "Who was the first celebrity you had a crush on?" Did she answer, a) Jordan Knight, b) Johnny Depp, or c) Justin Timberlake?

ZACH [face scrunching up]: My mom's celebrity crush? What the hell kind of question is that? Why would she ever tell me that in the first place?

FILIA SOROR: Remember, if you refuse to answer...

ZACH [shrugging]: No, I mean, I can guess. Johnny Depp? I guess. She made me see all those dumb Pirate movies.

[Bell rings]

FILIA SOROR [smiles broadly]: Congratulations Zach, you just banked $500.00 for your family!

ZACH [shrugging]: I have no idea why this is even a, like, trivia question or whatever.

FILIA SOROR [pushing buttons on her desk. All the lights now dim]: Okay that first round was easy. Way too easy, and but you all know how this works: they have something to lose now. We are going to turn things up, just the way you all like. And we are going to do it quick to throw them off balance. So hold onto your...hats. [pushes buttons until Freddy's light comes back on] Freddy, welcome back for your second question. So, we asked your sister Alexis, "What is your favorite kind of porn?" What is your sister's favorite kind of porn, a) gay porn, b) gangbang porn, or c) tentacle and monster porn?,

FREDDY [eyes wide, cheeks turning deep red]: What are you asking? Is this, like a joke reality show or something? You didn't ask Alexis that.

FILIA SOROR: Freddy, you don't have infinite time to answer this question. If you don't answer it, you lose the $500.00 you've already earned. If you just make a guess, at the very least, you keep your money.

FREDDY: Yeah but...

FILIA SOROR: Three seconds...

FREDDY: b) I guess. The gang...yeah, b).

[Loud buzz sounds]

FILIA SOROR [winces and shakes head]: Oh Freddy, I am sorry that is incorrect. The correct answer was c) tentacle and monster porn. If your sister had a choice, that's what she'd pick to watch. Likes when the tentacles choke the girl a bit.

FREDDY [looking down slightly]: Uh, okay...

FILIA SOROR [pushing buttons on her desk. The lights dim in Freddy's booth and come on in Ashleigh's booth]: Okay, Ashleigh, it is your turn for your second question. So, we asked your sister Kassie, "What do you think about most often when you masturbate?" When she masturbates, does your sister think about a) her best friend from high school, b) Zendaya, or c) half a dozen dicks in a glory hole?

ASHLEIGH [mouth wide open, shaking her head]: Why...No, I wouldn't know and wouldn't say if I did!

FILIA SOROR: If you don't answer it, you lose the $500.00 you've already earned. If you just make a guess, at the very least, you keep your money.

ASHLEIGH: Oh god, she knew it was some kind of game like this didn't she? I should have known she'd...

FILIA SOROR: Three seconds.

ASHLEIGH [sighing, resigned]: Zendaya?

[Loud buzz sounds]

FILIA SOROR [winces and shakes head]: Oh Ashleigh, I am sorry that was incorrect. The correct answer was c) half a dozen body-less dicks in a glory hole, just railing your sister every which way.

ASHLEIGH: Yeah...

FILIA SOROR [pushing buttons on her desk. The lights dim in Ashleigh's booth and come on in Zach's booth]: Alright Zach, time for your second question. So, we asked your mother Candace, "What is your favorite sex toy?" Is your mother's favorite thing to get off with a) a vibrator, b) a good-old fashioned dildo, or c) she refuses to use one, only her fingers?

ZACH [visibly recoiling]: Am I like...have I been drugged or something?

FILIA SOROR [turning to look at the camera]: The producers and legal team here at Family Freud want me to stress, in no uncertain terms, that all participants on the show have not been drugged and, in fact, were drug tested before filming began. We were as shocked as you are that Zach didn't test positive for weed. [turning back to Zach]. If you don't answer it, you lose the $500.00 you've already earned. If you just make a guess, at the very least, you keep your money. Your mother needs this money...

ZACH: Uh, c). Whatever

[Loud buzz sounds}

FILIA SOROR [winces and shakes head]: Oh Zach, I am sorry that was incorrect. The correct answer was a) your mother has a trusty vibrator she uses when she is getting herself off.

ZACH: This is so fucking weird.

FILIA SOROR [shakes head]: Language please Zach, this is a family show.

ZACH: Yeah...wait, what?

FILIA SOROR [The lights dim in Zach's booth and come on in Freddy's booth] Freddy, welcome back for your third question. So, we asked your sister Alexis, "What position were you in when you lost your virginity?" The first time someone screwed your sister was in, a) missionary position, b) reverse cowgirl, or c) 69?

FREDDY [eyebrows furrowed]: I have been thinking about this since the last question, and I feel like you are trying to make me look like an asshole or something. Alexis is my older sister and...

FILIA SOROR: Three seconds. Or lose your money.

FREDDY [sighing loudly]: a). Right?

[Loud buzz sounds]

FILIA SOROR: Oh Freddy, I am sorry that was incorrect. The correct answer was c). When your sister and your cousin Maria fooled around the first time, they ate each other's pussies. Which was smart all around, because Alexis came that very first time.

FREDDY [aghast]: Does Alexis know what kind of questions you are asking?

FILIA SOROR: She answered the questions in the survey, remember. [Pushing buttons on her desk. The lights dim in Freddy's booth and come on in Ashleigh's booth]: Okay, Ashleigh, it is your turn for your third question. So, we asked your sister Kassie, "where were you the first time you had sex with more than one person?" You sisters first threesome did it happen a) at high school graduation, b) in your bedroom, Ashleigh, or c) in the bathroom of a Taco Bell?