All Comments on 'Family Harem'

More trash....

Voyeur cuck trash.

This had a lot of potential, but as the first two comments point out, it was voyeur cuck stuff. The voyeurism might be ok if Tony actually got some himself. If you post in LW, you might get good Mark's, but almost no one outside of LW wants to read cuck stories. Plus it all happened too fast. Greg basically almost says 'let's fuck' and all his relatives say 'ok'. And he fucked all five that way, then ended up having group sex just for the asking. All in just three Lit pages.

Build your story up some. Let us know something about the characters. Make the seduction longer. Remember when you were a teen? I still do. It made the pussy all the more better when you had to work for it. Especially in family members. And let Tony get some too. Even if he has to blackmail them.

And finally, let those women lez out. Two or four or five women are not going to engage in group sex where they all stand around diddling their clits, waiting their turn at some cock. Teach these girls to eat pussy. Again, even if they have to be coerced at first.

Or move your story to loving wives, where the cucks enjoy this stuff. Great potential, if you try some of these recommendations.

Jedd

Thank you Jedd for the positive comments. Tony did eventually get some action with help. I feel like its more of an incest story than anything else and know there is a fanbase for the cuck niche. Greg is supposed to get the girls without trying while Tony was the one who fails. You made some good points and I'll see what I can do in the future.

I quite liked this story, but I do think that it would benefit from a sequel or a revision. We never really get a clear understanding of why Greg is so irresistible or if Tony has any chance of joining in. I hope you keep writing and exploring these themes, as there's a lot of great stuff here that could be polished.

why even write a story from that perspective

I really liked this story. It's somewhat arousing to read story with other's viewing one having sex with all the women they can't have. Don't change anything. There are plenty of different stories here for everyone to enjoy. Great job PH4R40H!

Please add Cuck and Fuckup to your tags. Stupid sluts fuck because because. Everyone is a massive piece of shit. No I really don't like your story.