All Comments on 'Family Holiday Ch. 04'

like i said before he atleast had permission and she went behind his back and then did something with her brother that she refused to do with her husband makes me say they got what they deverved. plus now the dad wont have to look at the sil and wife and his wonder

I realize you want to end this but, this story has so many possibilities. So many combos and the dynamic would be in Steve and Kates favour.

Please More?

The fact that brother and sister had been at this longer than anyone else,shows who is at fault. Steve has the bigger dick so their bad. Steve and Kate have problems though, no risk or taboo of getting caught, so no fire for a relationship.

I really enjoyed the first two chapters, but thought that the last two faltered.

I think you should have done more with the father. I think you should have made him an abusive jerk who was having an affair with his much younger secretary. Mary wants to leave him but can't because he controls all of the money and she would be destitute. At home, he and Mary sleep in separate bedrooms and Mary has been faithful to him even though he doesn't deserve it. Mel and her brother take their mother's side in the conflict. Mary would have been a lot more sympathetic and that would have provided a better rationale for Mel allowing Steven to have sex with her Mom.

I thought you were moving towards a polyamory ending with the b-i-l marrying Kate but the two couples swapping partners. I think it would have been better to end on a happy ending like that instead of Steven tromping off with Kate.

As much as I enjoyed the first 3 chapters, this last one was a rushed mishmash that made little sense based upon what went on before.

One thing that really annoys me as a reader is when an author sets something up and then doesn't follow through. In Chapter 2 you said, "Of course I had seen Kate, my brother-in-law's girlfriend since but that is another story!" So, where the hell's the "other story"? Did they get together to "practice"? Did they have the threesome with Julie? If so, how did they do that when they met Julie while on vacation in another country? If you had followed through with giving us a story of the ongoing affair between Kate and Steve, where they might have developed some attachment to each other, then the final chapter of them "falling in love" might have made sense. But as it stands, Kate's sudden declaration of love and Steve's reciprocity makes no sense what so ever. After all, they only had one encounter since she agreed to marry the brother-in-law.

Mary's husband is a convenient non-entity through much of the story. He was nothing more than a plot device, used and then very quickly forgotten. He's not giving Mary sex, then eventually he catches her fucking Steve and storms off. That is the whole extent of his involvement in all of the chapters. Why even bother having him at all? Mary could just as well have been divorced or widowed and thus not getting sex, for all her hubby showed up in the story.

Steve, Mel and the brother-in-law (was he ever named in the story?) are all a bunch of hypocrites. Steve because he's banging Mary and Kate, yet gets the most upset because Mel let her brother have her ass. Mel because she sets the whole ball rolling for having an ongoing affair with her brother, then setting things up for her mother to seduce Steve, complaining when they continue to do it, but then becoming a willing 3-way participant with them. And finally the Bro-in-law for screwing Steve's wife (his sister) and yet being upset whenever Steve pays any attention to Kate, no matter how innocent it seems at the time.

Only Mary and Kate seem straight forward with their sexuality and going for what they want, without condemning the others for doing the same.

I realize, as an author, it's not easy to pick up a story again after so many years had passed, but I really wish you'd given us the story of Steve and Kate that you promised in Chapter 2 but never wrote. Had you given us more detail of what went on with Kate and Steve beyond this story, THEN there may have been some basis for their declarations of love that end the final chapter.

If I was to use lawyer-speak, I'd say "Objection! Assuming facts not in evidence!"

As it is, the final chapter makes little sense and the sex scenes just seem forced as something you came up with to fill in the story.

After showing so much promise in the first 3 chapters, the ending was very disappointing.

Chapters 1 - 3 were 5-star efforts. This one gets just 2 stars from me.

i liked that bro and sis (and later mom too) had sex but how did it happen? plus it just showed up in there when most of the story was from Steve's perspective. the end was also weird. an orgy with all 5 would have been preferred.

Comment By: homerjay

i liked that ...

an orgy with all 5 would have been preferred.

Comment by Bletters

I think you should have .... I think you should have ...

I thought you were moving ..... I think it would have been better ...

FUCK OFF you morons! It's not your fucking story!! It's the fucking author's. If you want your fucking story you fucking write it. Or hire someone to write YOUR Story for you.

Stupid fucking comments are just that...STUPID.

Great series except for the ending.... but it was great.

So in this new life will he be fucking Kate's mother and sister.....yeh nice to have the moral high ground...

but this was the best chapter!!! i loved the ending. every get screwed - literally and figuratively!! Wow!! 5 stars!!

I've got to agree with anonymous.

Let the author tell the story or write one yourselves.

No, I didn't think you could either.