All Comments on 'Family Needs Me Pt. 02'

Just like all of your stories great

I truly love every one of your crazy over the top stories. No matter how odd or strange they seem they are some of the most entertaining stories, no matter how many times I read them and that is quite often. So thanks again.

This was the first story of yours I read. Glad it was in two parts. Outstanding!!

Your stories, while out of the box, are certainly unique and entertaining. I was wondering where the incest was and you certainly had a sexy surprise ending.

Thank you for this great story and keep up the good work.

I love the story line,but you really need an editor to help with the syntax.

Great story! I liked the characters and the pace of the story. Thanks for your time and imagination.

meh...

I have read a few of you stories i like the ones like this. Please write some more with like story lines.

This pervert would have loved for Oliver to have fucked his own mother, before the reveal of them being related. Too bad the mother also didn't receive a bit of plastic surgery.

As usual, you don't disappoint. The sisters being strippers was a great twist.

That's it, just Damn.

good story I saw the twist coming but not who I guessed. I also want to thank you because it shows what love can do.

Although it was sad for Sin to lose her husband,it still is commendable that Edi/Oliver and Crystal helped her to get over her husbands death,besides Sin has children to help take away some of the pain.

Also now Sin can return to Edi and Crystal for love and support.As for Amber and Misty it is as it should be and don't need to hoarde Edi's time with his Sisters since they have Husbands of their own,so Crystal,Edi,and Sin can be in a loving incestual threesome type marriage with their kids.

This story was great but wish it had explained why Edi left 20+ years before.

Your stories are great. However, should you decide you would like someone to proofread your work, let me know. Story flow, spelling and incorrect word placement do detract from the experience. fearsrd@gmail.com

I really liked your tale. It was pretty well thought out, even though there were some gaps. The surprises were pretty effective. It would help a great deal if you found a good editor, because a lot of misspellings and wrong word usage detract from the story sometimes.

had any self respect, you would have never posted these two chapters without proofreading or having someone with sufficient knowledge of English grammar, spelling, punctuation, sentence structure, word usage, etc. going over this. A junior high school kid would do a better job than you have done. Take it from your critics, you are atrocious. Darn even a grade school kid could do better.

Its doubtful than many who have suffered through these two chapter will force themselves to endure any more of your pathetic less than efforts. You take what could be a good story and destroy it with a refusal to acknowledge that writing is far beyond your abilities.

Great story

Great story and a good read. Thanks

Excellent story! Both chapters get 5 BIG FAT FLAMING NOVA STARS!

Creative plot and interesting developments. It definitely is in the world of fantasy and not fiction but that is what you noted at the onset of the story. Thanks for sharing this tale.

Great story, love it. AAAAAA++++++

Great story 5/5

When do we find out he's been sleeping with his sisters. And his mom manages the bar. lol

What the hell is this cuckold ending?

I agree that the ending could use some serious work. Didn’t like the pizza boy or the ladies going to other guys. Especially after the convo the chapter before. Pizza boy felt like they were his playthings. Exactly what he saved them from. Also, this is like Jack Reacher walked into the Walking tall movie and fucked his sisters. Strange.

This was a fantastic story but where was the sex with his mother????????? And you should have dragged the ending a little longer and see how many more children he could have sired gave it 5 stars

Loved the overall story you were telling, but just couldn't get into the way it was written. It didn't flow smoothly, too many things just jumped up from nowhere, progression happened way too quickly, and it felt like you set him up to "know it all" as a way to just be able to include whatever you came up with at the spur of the moment during the telling. would have been much better if you filled everything in more, built up to what you needed for the story, and checked the pronouns better. (he where she should be and so on). This should have been about a 6 part story instead of only 3. (just my opinion)

The story started out ok I guess. But soon it went all over the place like a bad rollercoaster ride. I expected the MC to find his family in the first chapter. And then for the MC to slowly get used to the job and stuff. But instead you went odd first with him getting settled in for some reason. When at the beginning you suggested he was a loner (Not a loaner), looking for his family. And then you speed up to 200 mph.Also, that bit about his mum being a bitch totally didn't fit in the story. Plus when she finds out who he is, everything is A-ok ?! Imo this definitely needs a rewrite. Gave it 3 stars onfortunately.

Well, you can rest assured that there won't be any offers forthcoming to make this into a screen play . . . .

Humm not sure know about the army rangers at least trurely but there is no average ranger