All Comments on 'Family Reunion - Ch. 01'

Why had he not seen his family for years, especially as he visited his home town a year ago?

colin23, this chapter had many different drafts. The original idea was to have a bigger time gap between Tom's visits. What you have pointed out must have been something that I have missed whilst working on the final draft, my apologies. Tom had annual visits to his family, that's the canon. Chapter 2 and onwards will not have this issue. Thank you so much for your comment and I hope you still enjoyed the story.

She had to pull him up to the roof he was frozen in fear but apparently one swig of beer and a view of wet tit means he flew off like Superman.

MC is super neurotic

Pretty slow start. Feels like a lot of the backstory is missing, like why has he been gone so long? Where did the bro/sis affection come from? "Want to touch them ,my abs" ????? Adult college educated male that's scared of heights and doesn't drink?

the guy's character is that of a little child, emotionally ten years behind his real age? Just... weird and not at all enjoyable, sorry.

Please stop with his weakness it kills the whole vibe!!!

Good start, it was kind of awkward but I want to read more.

Good to see the authors comments. I don’t normally read stories that have been voted lower than four but for some reason I gave this a try and I have to say that I really liked it. Although the writing shows signs of inexperience everyone has to start somewhere. And while I can understand why several people have objected to Tom’s extreme immaturity, it doesn’t lack all credibility. The twist of a tall, strong, fit sister and a very shy brother short brother also has significant potential if Ashley slowly helps his confidence to grow, which seems to be the way it is going.

So, my advice to the author is don’t let the buggers get you down! Stick to your guns and original plan. Though if you can, get someone to proof read chapter 2 before you post it. I will be looking forward to it either way though.

I like the MC. Shy and timid beats cocky and arrogant.

really great story and its nice to see a timid male character for once instead of a arrogant one like one of other comments said one of best storys i read in long while on here cant wait to read more

I like this story. If you decide to continue it I would be interested to see where it goes.

Promising ideas, but the dialogue really needs work